Lullaby of Tears

by Becs, Lindsay

  They start to play their latest hit when the curtain shielding the stage drops, lights shining brightly on them. They are rocking out, jumping and singing with so much life. I can’t help but grab Easton’s hand to jump up and down and sing along with him.

  By the third song, the inevitable happens. Mitch spots me. Our eyes lock for a minute, and he almost stops singing all together before blinking to refocus. A smile breaks across my face, and he exposes a matching one, pointing at me and shaking his head with a sideways look.

  “Did you see that, Mom? He pointed at us!” Easton yells at me.

  “Yeah, I did,” I shout, biting my bottom lip as butterflies swirl in my stomach.

  They continue to play a few more songs, and then they pause to talk to the audience. The guys banter back and forth, and it makes me laugh as a flood of old memories comes rushing back to me of the good old days.

  “Hey, Nate, you think we can change up our playlist a little bit tonight? Play an oldie but goodie?” Mitch asks.

  “Why not, dumbass? What do you have in mind?”

  “Well, we have an old friend in the audience tonight, right there,” he says, pointing at me with a wink. I lift my hand to wave at them with a smile as I feel my cheeks redden.

  “Hey, Lilypad!” Nate says into his microphone, waving back at me.

  “You think we could bring her and her little man up for a special tribute tonight?” Mitch asks, never taking his eyes off me.

  “I think that’s a great idea. Come on up, guys,” Nate says, motioning to us.

  “Are they talking to us, Mom?” Easton asks, tugging on me.

  “I think so, buddy. Wanna go?” I say, finally breaking my eyes from Mitch.

  “Best. Night. Ever!” he yells as we walk toward the aisle where a security guard is there waiting to guide us on stage.

  Fans all around us are screaming like crazy as we ascend the steps of the stage behind the barrier. Mitch is there to take our hands and help Easton and me up the last step. “Hey, beautiful. It’s been a long time,” he says with a cocky smirk, making my heart stop. “Hey, Easton, I’m Mitch,” he says, holding out his hand.

  Easton shakes his hand, wide-eyed, and whispers, “Hi.” He looks to me and says, “He knows my name.”

  “I told you he knew you as a baby.” I smile from my son up to Mitch.

  “Come on,” Mitch says with a head tilt toward the stage. We follow him up on stage, where the lights are so bright, you can’t really see out very far into the audience. This helps put my nerves at ease a little bit. “Have a seat,” he leans in and says loudly, gesturing to the two stools sitting on the stage.

  Easton and I climb up, waiting to see what they are going to do next. The audience is still going wild in front of us, and the noise is deafening.

  “So, to bring all of you out there up to speed, these are our friends Lily and Easton,” Mitch says, talking to the audience. “Lily here actually helped name our band, so you can all thank her now,” he says, cupping his hand around his ear and leaning into the audience, waiting for their reply.

  Everyone yells, “Thank you, Lily!” I bite my lip around my smile as I nod toward them.

  “We are going to sing a song now that is an oldie but goodie. Some of you might remember this one from our very first album. This song I wrote about my Lily many years ago,” he says with his hand over his heart. “This one’s for you,” he adds with a wink before he jogs back over to his guitar and mic stand.

  As soon as they start to play, I know exactly what song it is… Smile, the one Mitch wrote for me in high school. My face lights up as I reach over to take Easton’s hand in mine. His smile matches mine as we sit here in front of thousands of people, being serenaded by a world-famous band. It feels like a full-circle moment for me.

  The smile never breaks from Easton’s face through the rest of the concert. We sit on stage for two more songs and then go back to our seats for the rest of the show.

  Afterward, we start to make our way to the line for fans with backstage passes. We’re talking with the people around us about being on stage, and the excitement is rolling off of Easton. My cheeks are beginning to hurt from smiling so much.

  “Excuse me, ma’am,” I hear someone say as I’m tapped on the shoulder. I turn to see the same security guard who helped us up on stage.

  “Yes?”

  “Do you mind coming with me?”

  “Sure. Is everything okay?” I ask, a little unnerved.

  “Yes, ma’am. I was asked to find you and escort you both to the green room.”

  “Oh. Okay,” I say, surprised. “Come on, East.” I turn to Easton, putting a hand on his shoulder, guiding him behind the guard.

  We stand outside the door as the guard knocks, and I can hear the guys’ voices on the other side of it. My stomach is doing flips around the butterflies. I look down at Easton with a smile.

  Nate opens the door with a smile. “Lilypad!” He pulls me in for a hug. “Oh sorry, I’m all sweaty. Come on in,” he says, moving to the side to let us in the room.

  “Hello,” I say as Easton and I walk in. There is a large TV hanging on one wall with an Xbox connected. Large couches are filled with people, while others are walking in and out of the various smaller rooms. A large table is filled with just about every food and drink you could imagine, including a chef cooking hot food to order at the far end. I’ve never seen a green room before, but this I could get used to.

  I look up to see Mitch walking out of a door on the right. He’s pulling a clean shirt down over his abdomen when he looks up and sees us standing there. His face lights up with a huge smile as he walks toward us, our eyes locked on one another.

  He wraps me instantly in a hug. “It’s been too damn long.” He lets out a breath as he squeezes me tight.

  “I know,” is all I manage to get out as I take him in. His smell, his warmth, the feel of him around me again after all these years.

  I take a step back beside my son, and when Mitch releases his hold on me, our eyes remain locked on each other. After a minute, he clears his throat, pinching his brows together, as though to clear his thoughts. “Did you enjoy the show?” he asks, focusing his attention on Easton now.

  “It was awesome! This has been the best night ever!” Easton shouts. “Thank you!”

  Mitch lets out a low laugh at Easton’s excitement. “You’re very welcome. I’m just sorry this is the first show you’ve come to,” he says, winking at me, making me roll my eyes.

  “Mom plays your music all the time,” Easton starts with an annoyed tone. “But seeing you tonight and being on stage was awesome. Were you really there when I was born? Mom said you were, but I don’t know if I believe her.”

  Mitch crouches down to be at the same level as Easton as he laughs again. “Your mom isn’t lying. I was definitely there. In fact, I thought she peed herself at first, but instead it was you wanting to meet me,” he says, slugging Easton in the arm playfully.

  “Ew! That’s disgusting,” Easton says with a scrunched-up face.

  “Thanks for that,” I say in the background.

  Mitch stands back up then, looking at me. “I have to go do some meet and greets, but will you stay?” he asks. “It’ll take a couple of hours, but there’s tons of food, and you can chill or whatever.”

  “I don’t know. It’s already getting late. I gotta get him back home,” I say, unsure.

  “Please, Mom?” Easton pleads with his hands folded in front of him. “I promise I’ll sleep in late tomorrow, and I’ll do all my chores without you telling me to. Please?”

  “East, I don’t know…” I say, trailing off, pursing my lips and trying to find the right answer.

  “Are you in town long?” I ask Mitch.

  “We asked for a few extra days since it’s our hometown. We roll out on Monday.”

  “Could you, maybe, I don’t know, come over?” I ask, biting my lip and looking at my feet.

  “I’d love to,” he says in a sin
cere tone. “It’ll be late tonight. Or I could come tomorrow if that’s better.”

  “Come tonight. We’ll wait up,” I say, playing with Easton’s curls as I finally meet Mitch’s gaze again.

  “O...okay. Can I have your address?” he asks, pulling out his cell. I put my address in, and when I hand it back to him, our fingers brush against each other, sending a heat through me.

  “We’ll see you in a bit then,” I say with a smile. “Let’s get out of here, East. The sooner he sees his fans, the sooner he can come over.” I put my arm around Easton’s shoulders as we walk toward the door.

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Mitch says before opening the door for us.

  “Don’t rush. Do your thing.”

  “It’s good seeing you, Lil. And you too, little dude.”

  “Okay, well, bye then,” I ramble, pushing Easton toward the door so I don’t burst into tears or try to suck face with Mitch.

  * * *

  Easton and I drive home, speeding the whole way. The butterflies in my stomach turned to huge bird-size butterflies, and I can’t stop smiling at the promise of seeing Mitch again soon. Once home, Easton and I go into overdrive to clean up the house. I tell him to take a shower as I grab a quick one as well, and then we turn on a movie as we pass the time. He picks Star Wars, of course.

  I keep fidgeting as I wait for Mitch to show up. It’s nearly one in the morning, and Easton is finally crashed out when I hear a light knock on the door. Taking a deep breath before I open it, I bite my lip and look up at the man on the other side.

  “I can’t believe you still bite your bottom lip like that when you’re nervous,” Mitch says with a smirk, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “And you still rub the back of your neck,” I say, cocking an eyebrow. “Come on in.” I tilt my head as I move aside and let him into my home, and my heart, again.

  My senses go into overdrive when he brushes past me, my arm searing with heat where our skin touched, awakening my numb body. The smell of soap and spice dance around me as he walks inside.

  “Thanks for having me over.”

  “I just thought it’d be easier,” I say, glancing at Easton asleep on the lounger in the corner of the living room. “He fell asleep though.”

  “Oh, man, I’m sorry. Want me to come back tomorrow?”

  “No!” I say a little too loudly, clamping my mouth shut and smiling up through my lashes. “Please stay.”

  He stares at me a minute, making me feel self-conscience. “It’s really good to see you, Lil,” he says with a smile, reaching for my left hand. His thumb sweeps over the spot that once held my wedding ring. “I was sorry to hear about your husband.”

  My brows bunch as I keep my eyes on where his thumb keeps moving back and forth on my finger. “Thanks.”

  “Lola told me when it happened. I did… I didn’t know if I should come to the funeral or not, so I stayed away. I didn’t want to make things harder for you that day.”

  I look up at him with tears threatening to spill from my eyes. “I wish you would have been there. Truth is, my marriage was already pretty much over.”

  “I’m sorry,” he says again, like it was his fault. “Are you guys doing alright? You and Easton?”

  “We are.” I smile. “It’s been a year, and we’ve lived through all the firsts. It’s time to let life keep moving us forward.”

  Stepping away from him, I walk toward the kitchen, Mitch following behind me. “Can I get you anything? Wine? Beer? Water? Coke? Food?” I list with my head now in the refrigerator, trying to cool myself.

  “You drink beer?” he asks, shock on his face.

  I laugh as I stand up and lean around the open fridge door. “Sometimes. It’s mainly left over from when my brother, Mark, was here visiting. I’m more of a wine or whiskey girl.” I smirk.

  “Daaaamn…” he drawls out.

  “So, whiskey then?” I laugh out, closing the fridge door and reaching for glasses.

  “Lily?” I freeze with my hand in the open cupboard, closing my eyes. The way he says my name is making my heart skip a beat and my cheeks warm.

  “Yes?” I feel his body close behind me.

  “I missed you.” I relax at his words, pulling down the glasses that are in my grasp and putting them on the counter.

  “I missed you too,” I admit as I pour whiskey into the glasses.

  I turn around, handing him his glass. He grabs it, shooting it back in one gulp. Normally, I’m a whiskey sipper, not a shooter, but tonight I think I need a quick hit to calm my nerves. My eyes never leave his as I tilt my glass back and let the liquid burn down my throat. I lean back into the counter behind me, my hands on either side of me. “Another?” I smirk. Mitch nods in agreement, watching me. I take his glass back and turn to face the counter to fill our glasses.

  I feel his body close to mine again, but this time his hands are on the counter, caging me in. His hot breath is on my neck as I stand there taking in his warmth. He pulls my hair to one side, exposing my neck, and kisses me softly behind my ear and down my neck, sending heat through my body. I lean back into him with a hum vibrating through me. Holy fuckballs, I missed him.

  His hands slowly slide up and down my body, making my nipples tingle and wetness pool between my legs. I squeeze my thighs together when I feel his hand slip under my shirt. When his thumb brushes my nipple over my bra, a moan escapes me.

  “You are killing me,” Mitch says between kisses on my neck.

  “You feel so good,” I admit breathlessly as my mouth dries.

  “I should probably go,” he says, removing his hand from under my shirt. He kisses my neck once more and straightens. It takes me a second to realize what he just said, and my eyes to snap open.

  “Why?” I ask, turning around wide-eyed.

  “Because if I go any further, I won’t be able to stop,” he says, cupping my face in his hands. “I’ve waited a long time for this—for you—and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

  “I just got you back. How can I let you go now?” I say with longing in my eyes.

  He leans down and kisses me once on the lips, soft and sweet. “You aren’t losing me,” he says with a smile. “We’re going to make this work if it’s the last damn thing I do, Lil.”

  “But you leave in a couple days. It’s history repeating itself,” I say, looking down at my feet.

  “This tour is almost over. Can you do the distance with me for three months? Come out and see me this time? I’ll fly you and Easton out. I know we have a lot to talk about—"

  I don’t even stop to think about it. It’s an easy answer. “Yes,” I cut in, then bite at my lip.

  He leans in and kisses me again, this time deeper. I feel his promise in it. “Stop being nervous and just be with me. Don’t question it. Just be mine.”

  I stretch onto my toes and kiss him again, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him to me, wanting to feel him all over my body. “Till the end,” I breath into him.

  Mitch

  I was just in Lily’s house. I was just kissing Lily. I just touched her nipple. I just made her moan. And I just left.

  I am a fucking idiot.

  I lean my head back on the headrest inside Brix’s car I borrowed to come see her. A smile is stretched across my face, and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in years.

  It’s crazy how easy and natural it is being with her. It feels like no time has passed, and yet, it’s been far too long since I’ve seen or talked to her. I should have known when Lola called me and asked for tickets that she was up to something, but I’m so glad I made it happen without even knowing it was for Lily and Easton. I would have sold my left nut to a stalker fan if it helped make tonight happen.

  * * *

  We now talk all the time. It has been so much the same as before, and yet so different. She’s still my same Lily, but you can tell she’s lived through a lot. Life hasn’t always been kind to her, but she’s been so strong and brave to keep mo
ving forward and taking on whatever comes next.

  “I’m done waiting. I’m flying you out now. I need to smack that ass of yours,” I tell her over video chat after she said she didn’t like our last album as much. Truth is, I don’t either, but I’m not about to tell her that.

  “Truth hurt a little? You old guys can’t hang with these young kids anymore,” she teases.

  “Old? I’ll show you just how young I am when you get here. I’ve got enough energy and stamina to keep you locked up until you can’t walk for a week. Now show me your boobs,” I flirt, dropping my eyes to her chest with a head nod.

  “You need to wait, mister.”

  “Lil, if my balls get any bluer, they might explode. I can’t wait any longer. Check your email. I just bought you a ticket. Want East to come too?”

  “You are crazy! I don’t even know where you are right now,” she laughs, and I love that sound.

  “We are in Vegas doing two shows, so we’ll be here for three nights.”

  “I don’t want to bring Easton to Vegas.”

  “Then you just come.” I’d love to have both of them here, but if I can get time with just Lily, I’ll worship her.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yes! Okay! You’re lucky my boss is cool and I have vacation days saved up.” She smiles, shaking her head at me in disbelief. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She adorably scrunches up her nose like she can’t believe she’s being this reckless flying out to meet up with a rock star. She so fucking sexy and doesn’t even realize it. “Fuck, it’s going to be a long night waiting for you.”

  “Hang on,” she says, standing up and closing her bedroom door. I sit up a little more to see what she’s going to do. She moves her laptop to the bed where I can see her while she stands up. “Maybe this will tide you over.” She smirks, reaching down and pulling her shirt up and over her head, revealing her tits. She stands there biting her lip, looking at the camera through her lashes.

  My cock is instantly hard and alert, and my brain can’t compute words for a second. “You are so beautiful,” I tell her, leaning back to give my dick somewhere to go. “I cannot wait to lick every inch of your body.”