No Mercy
Page 11
As she hurried away, all kinds of emotions raced through her; shock, sadness. But most of all, anger! And shame, because in spite of what she had just witnessed, she still could not deny her love for that man. All the same, he had cruelly toyed with her. Used her, and then contemptuously discarded her. Well, two could play at that game, she decided, in her fury. The following morning, she had written a letter to Barny – a warm, encouraging letter, inviting him to the bonfire celebrations. She had written it in anger, posted it in haste, and, shortly after, had bitterly regretted it. Now, though, her wounded heart was warmed by memories of the good times she and Barny had shared. It wasn’t too long before she found herself actually looking forward to his visit. The boy had shown little interest in the news, but Ellie’s father had declared his full approval, remarking, ‘I can’t say I haven’t been concerned about the way that fellow Harman seemed to have set his sights on you… though I reckon he’s got the message at last… keeping his distance and all. It’ll do you good to see Barny again, I’m sure. What I say is… better the devil you know, eh?’
Rosie, too, seemed eager to make Barny’s acquaintance, although, ‘If you ask me. Alec Harman won’t like it. Your father’s right, Ellie… the darkeye has set his cap at you. I can feel it in me bones.’ Ellie vociferously dismissed any notion that she and Alec Harman were anything more than ‘neighbourly’. She disguised her deeper feelings well, and made no mention of what she had seen at the lake.
Aware that the boy was quietly regarding her, Ellie mentally shook herself free of all unsettling thoughts, and rising to her feet she told him, ‘You’d best go and get your jumper… it might strike chilly later in the day.’ She began piling up the breakfast things.
‘Aw, Ellie… do I have to come with you? I’d rather stay here and build the bonfire!’ He thrust his plate towards her and set himself stubbornly in the chair.
‘Stop being difficult!’ Lately, Ellie had come to realise that he would go to extraordinary lengths to get his own way. They had been at Thornton Place for over four months now, and in all that time Johnny had received no schooling. It was true that the long summer break had meant that the schools were closed from mid-July to early September. And that, in the weeks prior to them closing, Johnny was not recovered enough from the recent trauma to attend school. However, the local school was now opened and the doctor had previously warned Jack Armstrong, ‘The boy must resume a normal life when you move… attending school… mixing with youngsters of his own age… it can only do good.’ Last week, on the first day of the new term, the headmistress at nearby ‘Crawley School’ had eagerly received Johnny’s enrolment. ‘He can start on Monday,’ she had told Ellie, proudly giving her a list displaying the items of uniform, and various regulations he would need to be aware of. Now, Ellie reminded her brother, ‘You start at the new school on Monday, and we have to get your uniform today.’ Collecting the pile of dishes into her hands, she pushed them against the wall and covered them with a tea towel. ‘These will have to wait until we get back,’ she moaned.
‘Tell Rosie to do them!’
‘Rosie has enough to do,’ Ellie retorted, striding across the room towards him, with the intention of plucking him from the chair and propelling him out of the room.
‘I’m going! I’m going!’ Before she could get to him, he was out of the chair and skipping towards the door, where he turned and grinned at her. ‘You might regret taking me to Medford,’ he promised her, ‘because… I won’t be pleasant company.’ The look of frustration on Ellie’s face pleased him no end. She was upset, he knew. And there were times when he tried her to the end of her patience. It didn’t bother him. She deserved it! What did bother him was the fact that she was wasting his precious time; when he could be building the most magnificent bonfire ever created. And worse… he dreamed last night that his secret friend would come to the barn today. Because of Ellie, he might miss him. He thought of the games they played… hide and seek games, and guessing games. Games where he was allowed to say whatever he liked, against whoever had offended him. Remembering these exciting games, his heart leapt. Oh, the things they said, he and his ‘friend’! Wicked and dangerous things! Things that his father would thrash him for saying. But there, in the barn, in the darkest corners, where he and his secret ‘friend’ huddled from watching eyes, he could pour the black, hurtful things from his heart. And he was never, ever punished!
‘You go on with you, darling… don’t worry your pretty head about a thing.’ Rosie met Ellie and the boy on the outer steps. ‘My! You do look lovely, child.’ She inclined her head to one side and regarded Ellie through panda-like eyes.
That morning, Ellie had taken considerable care with her appearance. After much deliberation, she had chosen to wear a pretty, autumn-coloured skirt. The sleeveless blouse was in the same rich amber as her eyes and the short, cream-coloured jacket over her arm matched the shade of her shoes. It was one that she had bought in Liverpool. Straight-cut and smart, it was a favourite of Ellie’s – the kind of practical accessory that could be teamed up with almost any colour. Her golden hair had been brushed until the natural curls seemed to have a life of their own, springing and teasing about her face, giving her a carefree and jaunty look that belied the deep, sincere emotions which had shaped her mood of late. Now, when she smiled up at Rosie, her warm brown eyes gave nothing away. ‘Why, thank you, Rosie,’ she said, already beginning to make her way down the steps. ‘We have to rush… got to catch the nine o’clock bus,’ she told the older woman apologetically. Her eyes flicked to the bent, suspicious figure that had watched her these past minutes through small, hostile eyes. George shouldn’t be here, she thought with a stab of anxiety; Rosie had no right to bring him here! Concerned about what her father would say if he knew, Ellie paused a while. ‘Perhaps it might be best if you gave it a miss for today, Rosie,’ she suggested discreetly. ‘I’m afraid there was no time to tidy up properly this morning… the kitchen’s in a dreadful mess. Take George home… I’ll see to everything when I get back.’
‘Away with you!’ Rosie leaned her shoulders into the crutches and dismissed Ellie with a wave of her hand. ‘Hurry… or you’ll miss your bus. Don’t worry about the kitchen, either, because me and George here can see to that, once I’ve done the big room.’ She glanced at the boy’s upturned face and chuckled. When in return she was greeted with a stern, disapproving expression, she shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention instead to her companion, ‘That’s right, ain’t it, George, eh?’ The tousled head nodded frantically; pale frightened eyes peering up through shaggy brows that hung down like two bedraggled curtains across his vision. ‘There y’arel’ exclaimed Rosie, raising the tip of her crutch and prodding the unfortunate creature, ‘he’s only too glad to be giving a helping hand.’ When the crooked, nervous figure shuffled past them and disappeared into the house, Rosie saw that Ellie had misgivings – it was betrayed in her face. ‘He’ll be fine,’ she chuckled. ‘I know it was understood between your father and me, when he agreed a small sum in return for a few hours’ domestic help… that George should never be allowed into the house… but, oh, he’ll not be a problem, I promise.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Like as not, he’ll curl up on the sofa and fall fast asleep… he had a bad night… a terrible bad night… hardly slept a wink, poor thing.’
‘Oh, I don’t know, Rosie…’ Ellie was mindful of her father’s strict instructions and the comment, ‘Rosie’s got all her marbles about her… she’ll earn the two pounds ten a week… take some of the drudgery off your back, Ellie. But, only Rosie! On no account is the old man to set foot in this house. I wouldn’t put it past him to lock Rosie in the cellar again… and lock all the doors against us!’ The awful experience had never really left him – to the extent that he had removed the bolts from all the doors, and carried a key in his pocket at all times.
‘Come on, Ellie, or we’ll miss the bus,’ urged the boy, tugging at her hand. He did not want to go into Medford in the first place, bu
t, if they were to go now, there was a chance they could be back by mid-afternoon. If they missed the early bus, though, there’d be no telling when they’d get back! And he had set his heart on finding his ‘friend’ waiting for him in the barn. ‘Don’t forget… it’s a Saturday. Some of the shops might close early. And if I haven’t got my uniform for school on Monday… I’m not going!’ He put on his most churlish sulk, snapping her hand viciously and sucking his thin lips into an unattractive pout.
‘You stop it this minute!’ Ellie warned him. Right now, she had her own problems. As for the boy, she now tended to agree with her father that, ‘It’s time he learned he can’t have his own way on everything. Okay… so he’s young and prone to dwell on… unpleasant memories… perhaps longer than you or me. I know he’s suffered badly. I know he’s only nine years old. I accept the experience he went through that… that awful night must still torture him. It tortures all of us… And I understand how much he needs to come to terms with being… the one who found her. It’s hard for him, losing his mother at such a tender age. But he’s got you, Ellie… thank God, we’ve both got you!’ Somewhat disturbed, Ellie promptly reminded her father that Johnny also had him, didn’t he? Her father had made no reply, other than to abruptly excuse himself from the room, saying in a strangely quiet and private voice, ‘I have things to do.’
‘Go on, Ellie. Me and George… we’ll be fine.’ Rosie chuckled, ‘I promise he won’t lock you out.’
‘Thank God for that!’ Ellie laughed, pleasantly astonished that Rosie had picked on the one anxiety that was paramount in her thoughts. The mere mention of it by Rosie seemed to put it safely into perspective. Of course! How could her father be locked out? He had a key with him, didn’t he? And there were no bolts on the doors.
As Ellie hurried the boy through the spinney – following a short cut that Alec Harman had shown her – she was frightened by a short burst of laughter from some place not too far away. Gripping the boy’s hand, she accelerated her steps, keeping her anxious eyes fixed to the horizon, where the spinney gave way to open land and there were no dark corners for things to hide in.
‘What was that?’ the boy asked, glancing nervously over his shoulder, as he struggled to keep up with Ellie’s determined strides.
‘I don’t know,’ Ellie told him impatiently, ‘an animal perhaps?’
‘No.’ There was a ring of satisfaction in the boy’s tone. ‘It wasn’t “an animal”… it was somebody laughing. It was… wasn’t it, Ellie?’ he insisted, almost running beside her now, and breathless. ‘Is it George, eh? Is it mad George?’
‘I’ve already told you, Johnny. I don’t know!’ She felt his eyes on her, accusing. He had every right to accuse her, because she was a liar. She did know. The sound was ‘somebody laughing’. But it was not ‘mad George’. Nor was it anyone else the boy knew. But she knew. Oh, yes! She knew! Because she had heard that same laughter not very long ago, down by the lake. It was the young woman, she was sure. The same one who had come running into the eager arms of Alec Harman. The same one who had brushed her lips against his. The same one who had whispered with him, and been so secretly intimate. Ellie hated her! But no. She could not bring herself to hate. The young woman had every right to love Alec Harman, and to enjoy his love in return. She only wished with all her sore heart that it was she who had won the love of ‘the darkeye’. And though she did not ‘hate’ she felt humiliation and anger because of the way he had led her to believe there might be love between them. The memory of his mouth on hers was not one she could easily dismiss. It was a beautiful and sensuous experience that had remained with her, and would always remain with her. Even now, in this moment with the sound of that laughter ringing in her ears, she remembered how it was – how his body had pressed into hers and those black, liquid eyes had coveted her. The anger in her swelled to rage. How could he? How could he tempt her in that way, when all the while he was already promised? No, she could not hate; although there had been times since when she had come unnervingly close. But neither could she forgive. She wanted nothing more to do with the dark-eyed devil. The further he kept his distance from her, the better she would like it.
‘You’re hurting me!’ Johnny’s thin wail cut into Ellie’s tortured thoughts, as he struggled to release his hand from her fierce grip.
‘All right… we’re almost there now.’ The fury still bubbled inside her, but her brother must not know. He, of all people, must never know. Besides which, she accepted that her deeper feelings for Alec Harman must be denied, because they could only bring her more heartache. And she had already been through so much. So very much that all the Alec Harmans in this world could never understand. But Barny understood! He had understood and made sacrifices because of it. Throughout the whole, dreadful nightmare he had been a pillar of strength. He had shown her only kindness and love; wanting nothing more from her but the same. And she had loved him. She did love him. But, it wasn’t the same, was it? The love she felt for Barny could not compare to the soaring exultation she had felt in Alec Harman’s arms. When Barny kissed her, he made her feel warm and wanted; kind of ‘comfortable’. With Alec Harman, something had awoken in her that she had never before experienced – passion, fire and such deep longing that even recalling the way it was made her every nerve-ending tingle. The feeling was indescribably beautiful, but it was also intensely painful. He was not hers. She could never forget that. Nor could she forget how callously he had toyed with her emotions! Perhaps her father was right. A man like that was dangerous. She would be far better cultivating her love for someone like Barny. That was what her head told her. It wasn’t what her heart said.
‘The bus is there, Ellie!… The bus is already there!’ The boy broke free from Ellie’s grasp and ran forward towards the shop, shouting and waving his arms at the driver who was presently preparing to depart. Seeing the boy and Ellie rushing towards him, he smiled and waited. In a minute they were on board. The conductor rang the bell, and the big red bus inched its way out of the shop forecourt and into the main road, which would take them the twelve or so miles to Medford town.
Settling back in the hard vinyl seat that struck cold to her thighs, Ellie deliberately quashed the bitterness that had taken hold of her. She chided herself for not having seen Alec Harman’s true character before. Even now, she was not quite sure what his ‘true character’ was. All she did know was that he had cruelly led her to believe one thing, when another was the truth. But then she reminded herself that what had happened was probably no more for him than yielding to temptation in a moment of weakness. After all, he had made the caustic comment, ‘You should never have come to this place.’ That told her how sharply he regretted having taken her in his arms. She bristled inside at his arrogance. They were not intruders here, any more than he was! Although, the way in which Fred Gregory at the shop scowled on her and the boy whenever they went in there, it seemed to Ellie that Alec Harman was not the only one to resent their coming here. The inhabitants of Redborough were not at all friendly. Their narrow-minded, prejudiced attitude infuriated her, but she had managed to rise above all that. Old George, though! Well now, he was another matter altogether – what with his continued loathing and suspicion of them, it was too disturbing. It wasn’t so much his hostile attitude as the unfortunate creature himself. There was no doubt in Ellie’s mind that he was helplessly and totally insane.
‘Look, Ellie! Look!’ The boy’s shrill voice penetrated Ellie’s unsettling thoughts. He was pointing out of the bus window, drawing her attention to what appeared to be a heap of rubble in the middle of a field. Nearby were two excited children, making their way to the ‘rubble’ and pulling a flat, wooden conveyor behind them; that too was piled high with various bits and pieces. ‘They’re building a bonfire,’ the boy told Ellie. He laughed aloud; a devious and wicked sound that caused two women in front to stare round at him. ‘It’s a dismal bonfire!’ he went on in acid tones, staring back at the two women until they looked away.
He laughed again, twisting his scrawny neck to look at the children once more before they disappeared from his sight. ‘They’re pitiful!’ he muttered, then in such a vindictive voice that Ellie snatched a disapproving glance at him, he said, ‘I’ll put a curse on them.’ He lifted his clear blue eyes and smiled sweetly at her.