With a twitch of her finger, and a wiggle of her toe, she could slowly feel life flowing back into her extremities and managed to rotate her wrist, but it was too tight to be able to pull it out. Footsteps. She lifted her head up and could make out the door. As the sounds grew louder, she stared at the double doors and waited for them to swing open. Her body suddenly screamed out for oxygen as she realised she was holding her breath. The doors opened slowly. Too slowly, as if they were playing with her.
A man appeared in the doorway, pushing along equipment. She didn't know what it was. She didn't want to know. An involuntary noise slipped out of her mouth, and she started shaking. Hospitals gave her panic attacks at the best of times.
"Please don't." Her mouth finally managed to form words. Pitiful words, dripping with fear.
"Don't worry." The man approached her. He looked impossibly tall as he loomed above her.
"You're not starting without me." Another man entered the room. Short and well put together. He wore a shirt and black slacks, his hair slicked back in a somewhat 50s style. "Who do we have here then?" He approached her, and she turned her head to the side, not being able to bring herself to look at him any longer.
"Don't be shy." He stroked her hair. "We're just going to make you better. You want that, don't you?" He went over to the machine and whilst he was tending to that, the lights turned on. Buzzing electric. It burned her vision white, and she squeezed her eyes shut.
The other man started talking in a low, monotonous voice. "You know that doctors don't really know how electro-convulsive therapy works, it just does. It's basically the equivalent of kicking a photocopier to get it to work." He laughed. "Just giving it a good kick in the pants." He grabbed something plastic from the metal trolley. "Open up, please."
She turned her head away.
"I don't have time for immature games." He prized her jaw open with his hand and shoved the mouth guard in. "I don't suppose it would help to tell you I'm doing this for your own good. People never know what's good for them." He sighed as if she was being wholly unreasonable. He placed a gloved hand on her forehead, securing her head in place. "Carter, it's time."
The other man wheeled the machine over, which had thin wires coming from it.
"I'm Carter, and I will be performing this procedure today. I'm just going to stick these electrodes to your head. Don't worry, this part won't hurt.
"James can you hold her more still."
"I'm trying." James clamped her head in between his hands in his vice-like grip.
He attached the sticky pads to her head and draped the wires off the side of the bed.
"Now I will just be applying some conductive gel to your scalp." He rubbed cold gel onto the side of her head and then moved over to do the next side. "Normally we would use general anesthesia and a muscle relaxant, but it's really not necessary. I think you'll find it's really not all that bad.."
She squeezed her eyes closed and accepted her fate, praying it would be over soon. She tried to repeat a song in her head but couldn't get past the first line.
"The seizure is so brief, you just need to relax." He placed his hand on her arm and squeezed it tenderly. "Although you're a particularly bad case. I feel you'll need a lot more voltage."
Cold metal pressed against her temple, and the suffocating dread crushed down on her. Come on, come on. Get it over with. Her limbs convulsed, and her head jolted forward. Her face scrunched up as an indescribable feeling coursed through her.
***
The bright light burned through her eyelids. She was lying at the beach, listening to the waves as the sun beat down on her. It was warm and peaceful until she heard the voices.
"Are you still with us?" Just one more round, I think, and then you should rest.
"What?" She slurred as her ears rang and her face tingled. She opened her eyes to the harsh, clinical room, blinded by white, shining surfaces. James appeared to have left the room, and it was just her and Carter.
"You just need to start thinking like the rest of us. Have some gratitude for all the things we have. You're sick, Olivia, very sick, but you don't have to be, not anymore. Not if you join us in the light. We're all waiting for you." He fell to the floor, ripping the electrodes from her skin as he hit the ground. Luke stood behind him with a bedpan in his hands.
Olivia wanted to speak, but her brain would not communicate with her mouth. She lay there silently as he set to work undoing her straps.
"Can you walk?"
She couldn't talk, but surprisingly she could walk, although she did lean on him for support.
"I got the other guy as he stepped outside. I'll tell you what there is something satisfying about hitting someone over the head as hard as you can with a bedpan." He laughed. She wondered how he could laugh right now, but appreciated it none the less.
"I know where Michael and Dana are, we just have to be careful. There are other doctors here."
They kept close to the wall and continued down the corridor until they heard a noise.
"This way." Luke turned down another corridor, and the sound got even louder. It was a woman, and they sounded distressed.
Luke stopped at one of the doors and looked through the glass. Olivia looked and saw Michael and Dana both strapped to beds. There was only one other man in there, holding an implement she didn't recognize.
"We need more than a bed pan between us, surely." She got her voice back.
"We can just use the element of surprise."
"How can we do that exactly?"
"Just be quiet. If he hears us, we just rush him. Just don't over-think it. Oh, and I found this if you need it." He passed her a scalpel.
He pushed the door ever so slightly and it didn't make a sound. She continued to watch through the window to make sure he didn't react. As she saw Luke enter the room without getting heard, she followed behind, clutching the scalpel in her hand and holding it up in front of her like a talisman. The man stood in front of Michael talking, and Olivia saw Dana notice her and gestured for her to keep quiet, as Luke went to her and started working on her restraints.
Michael lay there, docile, not registering their existence. His eyes were open slightly but vacant. The doctor picked up a mental implement that resembled a long icepick and stood above him, positioning the end of the implement up to the corner of his eye. Olivia screamed uncontrollably, hearing the sound before she even realized that she had even opened her mouth. The doctor spun around and lurched towards her, brandishing the ice pick. She stumbled back, dodging the sharp point that he wielded.
"Maybe it should be you getting the lobotomy. I think you need to just calm down." He came towards her and she backed out through the doors, hoping he would chase after her while Luke freed the others.
Her heart leaped in her chest as an arm clamped around her neck from behind. Silent screams came from her as the arms closed in on her jugular. As the blood built in her head, it felt like it would explode. More pressure on her carotid made her legs go weak. She tried to make him lose his balance, bucking like a wild stallion, but the lack of blood to her brain made everything go dark.
***
The smell of disinfectant was the first sense that came to her, as spots of light appeared in her field of vision. She was restrained again; elevated upright into a sitting position across from Michael. She wanted to scream, but nothing came out. Luke and Dana had disappeared, and the doctor stood in the corner of the room in a chair, staring, waiting for her to wake up.
"It didn't have to be this way." He grabbed the icepick again. "Now you can see how it is performed before you have yours. It's a simple operation, really." The man walked up to Michael.
"This just slips in here, right through the orbit of the eye. Right at the top. You need a bit of force to get it to penetrate the thin layer of bone, just a little tap really." He hovered his hand over the implement and forced it down with the palm of his hand. It was the sound of eggshell cracking. Olivia heaved. "Then the rest of it can b
e a bit hit or miss. You really just wriggle it around in there. Shake things up in the old pre-frontal cortex. That should sort things out."
Olivia finally found her voice and screamed. She couldn't stop screaming.
"Calm down!" He shouted before sliding the thin rod slowly out of the eye socket. "If you don't stop screaming, I'm much more likely to make a mistake. It could be the difference between him being cured or being ruined and I don't much appreciate it." He wiped the implement before walking to the other side of the bed. "I will now be repeating the procedure on the other side."
Olivia squeezed her eyes shut, but the image was still there, except it was even worse in her imagination as her brain gave new images to the sounds she could hear, each more disturbing than the last.
"There, all done. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
"Where are my friends, where did you take them," She tried to sound brave but her voice wavered.
"Don't worry about them." He waved his hand dismissively.
She wrestled with the straps on her wrists with everything she had and would give anything to get free. In that moment, she couldn't help but think about her life back home and longed for the security of her apartment. An image of her and Michael curled up on the sofa eating take out and watching movies popped into her head as a deep longing twisted and turned inside of her. The doctor cleaned his tools again and wheeled the cart over to her. No matter her much she writhed around and struggled, there was no getting away. His face was close enough to hers she could feel his breath as he brought the pointed end up towards her eye socket and she watched it get closer. Blood burst out the side of the doctor's head like a water balloon, exploding on impact, as a deafening pop rang in her ear like a firecracker. His body fell with the impetus of a skyscraper being demolished.
Zoe stood there, gun in hand. She held it out in front of her, stiffly, finger still primed on the trigger, as if he may come back to life at any minute. Olivia had never been so glad to see someone in her life. The doctor lay in a red pool, with brain matter, scalp tissue and shards of skull.
"Please get me out of here," she cried.
Zoe set to work, unleashing her strapped arms and legs. "Looks like I was just in time. I'm so glad that worked. I've never used a gun before." Her hands shook as she struggled with the straps.
"What are you doing here?"
"Me and Corey came to find you, but got picked up by these psychos." She undid the last strap.
Olivia jumped off the bed and ran to Michael.
"What did they do to him?"
Olivia couldn't say it out loud and she could feel herself trembling. If she spoke about it, she would crumble completely.
"There's no time. How can we get him out of here? And where is Corey?"
"He went to help the others. He isn't armed though. We need to help him."
"Where did you get the gun?"
"I think it was Dana's. It was with all our stuff." Zoe opened the doors and immediately turned back. "Shit."
"What?" Olivia slipped off Michael's restrains. She wanted to comfort him, tell him everything was going to be okay, but there was not enough time.
"Someone's coming." Zoe ran from the doors and pulled Olivia behind the bed. They both crouched down, barely concealed. "At least we have the element of surprise." She balanced her arm on the bed and pointed the gun at the door. As the door opened, she stood upright and got ready to pull the trigger.
"Woah girl, It's just me."
"Corey, thank god. Are you okay? Is everyone else okay?"
"See for yourself."
Luke and Dana came through the door and looked through the glass panels to see if anyone had followed them.
"How did you get away?" Olivia asked.
"I have my ways. Anyway, let's get out of this hellhole." He glanced down at the doctor's body on the floor and averted his eyes. "I don't want to see that shit."
Olivia grabbed one end of Michael's bed. "It shouldn't be too hard to wheel out of here."
Luke grabbed the other end, and they pushed it through the doors. The wheels squeaked as they rolled across the tile floor, and Dana walked ahead. Carter's body lay on the floor and Dana pushed him aside with her foot to make way for the bed, leaving a trail of blood and brain matter. "Why did they die? They don't seem to heal themselves like we did."
"Who knows why anything happens in this place." Olivia saw the front entrance and picked up her pace.
They left through the front doors and pushed the bed out with them, wheeling it down the curb and as far away from the building as they could. "We need a car."
"We could travel in style." Corey eyed up one of the ambulances parked outside the front of the hospital.
"Maybe something a little less conspicuous," suggested Olivia.
They looted through the parking lot, trying all the car doors.
"No one will have left their keys in the car." Olivia "Anyone know how to hot-wire?"
"Nope sorry," said Corey. "Can't say I've ever felt the need."
"I've hit the jackpot," Luke shouted, waving a set of keys in his hand.
Luke decided to drive so Olivia could tend to Michael. He was starting to come around, and she positioned him in the back seat. "Quick let's get out of here."
"Michael, can you hear me?" She looked him in the eye.
"Olivia," he mumbled. "I don't feel right."
"You will. We just need to get away, but you're going to be fine." She stroked his hair.
HELL IS A PLACE ON EARTH
They had made it to the coastal city of Ventura by the time that the light started to fade and picked a house at random to stay in. The house was situated off the main roads to ensure that they were not found. It was a modest home with family photos on the walls and toys still laid out on the floor.
"I'm going to sleep." Michael stated and walked straight into the unclaimed downstairs bedroom.
"I'll be in soon." Olivia called, unsure if he had heard her.
Without saying a word Dana passed Olivia a beer that she found abandoned in the fridge, stuffed in the vegetable crisper next to a wilted, moldy lettuce.
"Thank you." She twisted off the cap and sank into the beat up couch. "I'm going to give him some alone time. I get the feeling he needs it.
"Yeah. I mean, who knows what to do in this kind of situation. He seems okayish. Like he's walking and talking. That's a good sign right?"
"I think I know what's going on." Olivia gulped her beer.
"What?"
"This is definitely hell. The bad things. It's the only explanation, and there is no way out."
"I always thought of hell as this place with fire and constant agony, like in those old paintings, like being burned alive for all eternity. This doesn't seem as bad in comparison."
"Maybe this is just the beginning. We are being punished, and it's only getting worse." Olivia finished her beer as they sat in awkward silence, and then she headed to the bedroom.
The bed felt strange and still smelt of the perfume of the previous occupant. Michael lay silently, and she wondered if he was asleep. She put an arm around his waist from behind and kissed the back of his neck.
"Goodnight," she whispered.
***
There was something about the Bakers' home. Nothing bad happened there. It had been three weeks and there had not been a single strange occurrence. Life now consisted of plundering all the stores within a 10-mile radius for any non-perishables. Their diet was mainly comprised of dried and tinned food, and the store shelves had plenty of bottled water, now that the taps had ceased providing running water. Olivia hid the family photographs. They depressed her too much. Dana worked at making the place homely and went about decorating with supplies she acquired from the DIY store. She had always wanted a home of her own and wasn't about to let anything stop her. The project took her mind off of the reality of the situation. They cooked their meals on camping stoves and small fires. They had some laughs; they had some bad days. Ticking alo
ng was how Zoe described it.
"Michael do you want some cereal?" Olivia offered. She poured some cornflakes into a bowl with some long life milk. A godsend that she came across at the store.
"Yes, please." He continued to stare out the window, watching the birds eat the scraps they had left out from dinner the night before.
"I'll leave it on the side then." Olivia took a sip of tea, went into the living room and left him to the birds.
After going for a walk and reading the last book in the house, she had no idea what to do now except long for the distracting glow of the television. The bed called to her, and she lay on top of the covers and looked up at the watermarks on the ceiling. If she zoned out, she could kill a few minutes looking into space. She regretted not going with the others to get more food and wondered what they would come back with.
The hands of the clock seemed to move slower with every passing day. She walked back into the living room and looked through the curtains. Clouds had moved in since the last time she checked, and the world outside was as still as ever. She took her tea to the dining room table and took another sip as her foot tapped against the chair leg. A car engine rumbled in the distance, and she leapt up from her chair. She felt like a dog waiting all day for its owners to come home. The sound of voices at the door was a welcome relief to the silence. There was only so much she could take.
"Olivia." Luke was first through the door. "Look what I found for you." He pulled a bottle of bright green melon flavored liqueur from the bag.
"You remembered." She took the bottle and looked over it like it was the best thing she had ever been given.
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