How to Lead a Life of Crime

by Kirsten Miller

  I limp to the elevator and press the button for the ninth floor. Fifth period is ten minutes away. I thought I’d be free before lunch finished, and I left my Let Them Eat Cake homework upstairs in the Wolves’ Den. There are fat people out there just waiting to be exploited, and I wouldn’t want to let them down, so I hobble as quickly as possible up the stairs to the tower. Halfway to the top, I hear someone behind me. I assume it’s my darling Gwendolyn, so I don’t bother looking back. I won’t give her the satisfaction of seeing the pain on my face.

  “Flick!” When I finally turn around, I find Ella slinking up the stairs. She’s wearing tight black pants and a formfitting black sweater. Her close-cropped hair and ballet flats complete a look that’s cat burglar chic.

  “Skipping class or practicing for your next jewel heist?” I ask, wiping my forehead with the sleeve of my shirt.

  “Why weren’t you at lunch today?” Ella demands tersely.

  I don’t know why I answer. “Doctor’s appointment.”

  “Did you tell Gwendolyn about it?”

  I almost advise Ella to mind her own business, but I’m curious to find out why she’s gone all Nancy Drew on me. “I doubt I mentioned it, but Gwendolyn has other sources. Why?”

  “She and Austin were up here in the lounge during lunch. Together.” The significance of the last word is crystal clear. “I heard them.”

  “Are you trying to make me jealous?” I ask with a laugh.

  Ella opens her ever-present notebook and scribbles a message onto a blank sheet. It was payment.

  I grab the pen. Play along.

  “So you’re looking for a way to get in good with the Dux?” I announce for the listening devices. “Well, if Gwendolyn’s getting some on the side, I’m happy to have a little too.” I grab Ella by the arm and lead her out to the roof.

  Warm air washes over us. Nine stories below, the trees in City Hall Park are blooming, and I catch the faint scent of their fragrance on the breeze. But it’s hard to revel in the glories of spring when the skyscrapers of Manhattan’s financial district are looming over us like an army of Matrix agents in black suits and mirrored shades.

  “Wow,” Ella says as she marvels at the view. “Does everyone in the top twelve know about this?”

  “No. Just me and Gwendolyn. This is the only part of the academy that isn’t bugged.”

  “And who told you that?” she asks with one eyebrow arched. Then she wraps herself around me and whispers in my ear. “You’re more trusting than I am. Make it look like you’re getting some, and I’ll talk.”

  I push her back against the brick wall of the tower and take her head in my hands. Anyone watching would think we were kissing. “You said Gwendolyn was paying for something,” I say, keeping my voice low. “What does she want Austin to do?”

  “She wants him to take out your girl. They’re going to kill June.”

  I don’t even ask how Ella knew that I’d give a damn. “Where? When?”

  “Today. After sixth period. Austin has kickboxing with June. They’re going to ambush her in the gym.”

  “They can’t! The Immunity Phase isn’t over!”

  “Shhh.” Ella shakes her head. “You think that matters to Gwendolyn? Caleb’s convinced her she can’t wait any longer.”

  “Yeah, lizard boy’s going for the gold. Which makes me wonder—what’s your angle, Ella? Last I checked, you hated my guts. Why are you so happy to help me all of a sudden?”

  Ella leans to one side. Her eyes take another tour of the roof before they return to meet mine. Her voice is so quiet that I have to read her lips. “Remember that catwalk in the Incubation Suites? How you could tell when someone was watching? Well, once you got locked up, no one was all that interested in spying on the rest of us. Aubrey didn’t talk, and Ivan was psycho. But Felix and I got to be friends. For some reason, he thought you were a good guy. I figured he just had a crush. Then Felix ended up dead, and I started hoping he’d been right about you. The day it all happened, I tried to tell you that he hadn’t jumped. But Gwendolyn butted in, and it freaked me out. I got to thinking that she might have had something to do with Felix’s death. Her and that freak Mandel. The guy thinks he knows everything. He doesn’t know shit.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Ella looks down at her hands. The acrylic claws and diamond rings may be gone, but I bet she remembers exactly what it feels like to handle a gun. “Mandel told you guys that I killed my uncle so I could take over his drug business. Truth is, I was trying to put the bastard out of business. He had my little cousin selling the stuff at her grade school. You ever seen a twelve-year-old on crack?”

  “No,” I admit.

  “Lucky you.”

  The bell rings in the classrooms downstairs. It feels like a buzzer on a quiz show. The time has come for my final answer. If I make the right choice, Joi gets another day at the Mandel Academy. If I fail, her corpse ends up in Mandel’s collection. I have no reason to trust Ella. But then again, I’ve never heard another Wolf laugh like she did on our first day in the Suites.

  “You really want to help?” I whisper.

  “I’ve got fifth period with June,” Ella says. “I can warn her. I just wanted to check with you first.”

  “Don’t just warn her. Tell her to skip kickboxing. Gwendolyn may look like Little Bo Peep, but she’s as vicious as Lizzie Borden. She’s the one who cut Ivan’s head off. And before she got to the academy, she was locked up in an insane asylum for killing eight men.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “The cops knew it was her because she bit all the bodies.”

  “Damn.” Ella whistles softly. “I better get my ass down to class.”

  She hurries out, and I collapse onto a chaise in the Wolves’ Den. I couldn’t make it downstairs right now if I tried. My head’s throbbing. My arm and leg feel like they’re about to drop off. I should never have underestimated Gwendolyn. She knows if she kills Joi now, there’s no way I can retaliate immediately. Especially if Gwendolyn keeps “paying” Austin to be her bodyguard. But there’s one thing no one anticipated. Now I have an ally too. And Ella is strong. She’s one of the best, and she’s on my side. I don’t know why the thought gives me such hope. My last ally ended up donating his organs to Mandel’s research. Maybe Ella is playing me. But if she isn’t, Mandel has made a rare mistake. He’s let a mole burrow into the Wolves’ Den.

  • • •

  I’m outside Joi and Ella’s classroom when the bell announces the end of fifth period. Joi sails through the door.

  “I’ve got it under control,” she says in a singsong manner as she passes by.

  Ella is right behind her. “It’s not under control,” she whispers. “June’s just as crazy as Gwendolyn. She’s stirring up some serious trouble.”

  “What happened?”

  “When I told her what Gwendolyn has planned, June stood up and invited everyone in the class to come to the gym at the end of sixth period. She asked them all to wait outside. She’s going to whistle when there’s something to see.”

  “You’re f—ing kidding me! Does she really think they’ll keep Gwendolyn from ripping her apart?” This is exactly what I worried would happen. Joi can pretend to be a bad guy. She can be the top student in all of her classes. But this is real. The kids she invited all know that. They’re not going to get in the way.

  Ella shrugs helplessly. “What do you think we should we do?”

  “You’ve done enough already,” I tell her. “You better stay off Gwendolyn’s radar if you ever want to get out of here alive. Let me handle this now.”

  “Are you sure you can save June on your own?” Ella asks.

  “No,” I admit.

  • • •

  Sixth period ends, and I slip inside the gym. It’s empty. The kickboxing-class students have all disappeared into the locker rooms. I hobble toward the one marked LADIES. There are two girls in their underwear and one wearing nothing at all. They cover themselves up, but no
one squeals or shouts. The Dux can go wherever he likes.

  Joi is sitting on a bench like she’s waiting for the subway to arrive. She hasn’t changed out of her sweats.

  “You’ve got to get out of here!”

  It’s the first time Joi has really looked at me since the fight in the Incubation Suites. I can tell she knows what I’ve done since I got here. And she’s livid. “You want me to run?” she asks politely. “Is there somewhere you’d like me to go?”

  “Goddamn it, listen for once! I know you’re pissed off at me, but I’m trying to help you! You can’t win against Gwendolyn!”

  “Why?” Those big amber eyes dare me to answer.

  “Because she’ll do whatever it takes to win, Joi. You won’t. She’ll kill you. People die in this place!”

  The more frustrated I get, the calmer Joi seems. “You think I haven’t figured that out?”

  “I watched you in the Suites. You wouldn’t even fight Max! Judo won’t do you any good. Gwendolyn will be waiting for you to make a mistake. Then she’ll go in for the kill.”

  “Do you know how I learned judo?” Joi asks.

  “What? We don’t have time—”

  “I learned it from a UN peacekeeper who was stationed at a refugee camp in Bosnia. Judo helped me get out of there in one piece, so it should serve me fine while I’m here.”

  “Gwendolyn is Dux for a reason. . . .”

  “That’s right. She’s Dux because you’re all scared of her. I’m not. And if you think I don’t know how to win, then you don’t know me at all.”

  Joi stands and strides toward the locker room exit. The three other girls have vanished. I’m limping after her as fast as I can. The door swings open, and I see someone grab her. When I burst into the gym, I find Gwendolyn, Austin, and Joi. Austin has one of Joi’s arms twisted behind her back.

  The scene is reflected four times on the room’s mirrored walls. Even if I had time to study every angle, I don’t think I could come up with any suitable plan of attack. Austin’s a Terminator with a Texan drawl. He may be sporting his usual shit-eating grin, but I know his brain has already made a map of my weaknesses. I consider targeting Gwendolyn instead. The Queen of the Wolves hasn’t even bothered to dress for a fight. But I’m not sure my battered body would last one round with an experienced assassin—even if she is wearing a dress and high heels.

  “Isn’t this adorable?” Gwendolyn cries out as if a puppy just bounded into the room. “It’s Flick the gimp to the rescue!”

  “Want me to toss him in one of the lockers?” Austin drawls.

  “No,” Gwendolyn says. “If he promises to be a good boy, he might as well stay and watch.”

  The gym doors burst open. “Let the girl go, Austin!” Great. Ella has just blown her cover.

  Austin chuckles and Gwendolyn rolls her eyes. “I told Mandel she didn’t belong in the top twelve. Just give me a second to deal with her.”

  “Don’t bother,” Joi says calmly. “I didn’t call for backup. I don’t want any help.”

  “Joi, you can’t. . . .” I try once more.

  “I’m serious.” And she is. No doubt about it. She isn’t even struggling to break Austin’s grip. “Stay out of this.” Joi offers her free hand to Gwendolyn as though she’s eager to make a new friend. “Hi there. I’m Joey. Spelled J-o-i.”

  Gwendolyn ignores the hand, and Joi lets it drop. “What happened to June?”

  “I gave it a shot. Never felt right. So I went back to my old name. You’re Gwendolyn.”

  “I’m the Dux.”

  “One of them,” Joi points out. “So you want to talk to me?”

  “We’re going to do a lot more than talk,” Gwendolyn informs her.

  “Oh, good! I hope you don’t mind: I invited a few friends.” Joi whistles, and a throng of Androids and Ghosts streams in from the hall. I’m almost embarrassed for her.

  “You have no idea how things work around here, do you?” The contempt on Gwendolyn’s face makes her look nauseous. “Your little friends are a bunch of losers.”

  “Losers?” Joi’s brow furrows. “I’m confused, Gwendolyn. If they’re losers and you’re their leader, what does that make you? Queen of the Losers?”

  “You’re almost as funny as Flick,” Gwendolyn snips. “It doesn’t matter what you call them. They’re not going to help you.”

  “I certainly hope not,” Joi replies. “I made it pretty clear that this is my battle, not theirs. I heard you’d scheduled a showdown, and I figured the other students might find it entertaining. But it looks like you’re planning to send everyone home disappointed. That’s a cute little outfit you have on, but I thought this was going to be a fight, not a fashion show.”

  “The Dux doesn’t get her hands dirty,” Gwendolyn explains. “But don’t worry. Everyone but you is going to have a great time. Especially Austin.”

  “Oh, I get it!” Joi exclaims, as if it all suddenly makes sense to her. “You’re going to have Austin kill me! Well, I guess every school has its own rules—but isn’t the Dux expected to fight her own battles? I mean, you’re supposed to be the most powerful student here, right? Shouldn’t you be able to win without anyone’s help? It really doesn’t say much for the Mandel Academy if its Dux trades sex for favors because she’s too scared to fight for herself.” Joi tilts her head back and gives Austin an upside-down wink. “I’m right, aren’t I? You’re only here because Gwendolyn’s been screwing you.”

  I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. I wouldn’t last long, but it might give Joi enough time to escape. Then there’s a snicker somewhere in the crowd. And that single snicker lights a fuse. I can hear the flame crackling as it slowly winds its way toward a powder keg big enough to blow a hole in the school. I’m starting to think that Joi might actually know what she’s doing.

  “Let her go, Austin,” Gwendolyn demands as she kicks off her heels. “Keep the others back. I’ll take over from here.”

  Joi just scored a minor victory, but I hope she hasn’t misjudged her opponent. She doesn’t know she’s facing a girl who killed a gorilla and sliced off his head. She’ll need more than wisecracks to win this battle.

  “Tell me when you’re ready to make a move,” Ella whispers to me.

  “That’s much better,” Joi says. “But I’m afraid I can’t fight you, Gwendolyn.”

  “Not yet,” I tell Ella. The fuse remains lit, and its spark is still crawling toward the powder keg.

  “You don’t have a choice,” Gwendolyn snarls at Joi.

  “I honestly wish I could kick your fancy little ass, but you’re not what I’d call a worthy opponent.”

  Gwendolyn attacks. Her nails scrape four red grooves in Joi’s neck before Joi catches Gwendolyn’s arm and flips the girl over her shoulder. The Mandel Academy’s picture-perfect leader lands in a sloppy pile on the mat. The image is now stored in every spectator’s mind. No matter what happens, it can never be deleted.

  The fight isn’t over. At this point, there’s no telling who the winner will be. But before that flip, I don’t think there was a kid in the room who believed Joi stood a chance. The other students arrived wearing the blank expressions I saw on their faces the day Felix died. They know how the Mandel system works—and they know better than to expect any surprises. Here at the academy, the strong rise to the top and the weak fall to the bottom. And the Dux title is only given to the strongest of all. So they were expecting to watch Gwendolyn win. That flip told them things might be different this time.

  “You know this school is pretty f—ed up,” Joi tells the mesmerized crowd while Gwendolyn struggles to rise. Joi hasn’t even broken a sweat. “Didn’t you guys ever talk to each other before I got here? I couldn’t find a single person who knows exactly what’s going on. The most any of you could give me was a clue or two. So I spent the past week putting all the pieces together. And one thing is clear. This poor girl has no business being Dux. Did you sleep with Mandel in exchange for the title, Gwennie
?”

  Gwendolyn is back on her feet—just in time for the accusation to hit her with more force than a right hook. “I earned it!”

  Joi scratches her chin as if pondering a riddle. “But that doesn’t make any sense. You’d have to be the best of the best to earn the title, and I’ve heard you’re a little unhinged. Mandel found you in a loony bin, didn’t he?”

  Gwendolyn wheels around and glares at me. “You told her!”

  “So it’s true?” Joi’s voice is dripping with pity. “You’ve been hiding the secret all this time? While the rest of us have had our dirty laundry dragged out for public inspection? Oh, Gwendolyn. Don’t you know that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of?”

  “I’m not insane!” Gwendolyn’s shriek only proves Joi’s point.

  “I feel so sorry for you.” Joi turns her back on the girl and addresses the crowd. “Is this the kind of person you want as your leader? Someone who was probably painting the walls with her own poo back at the funny farm?”

  Gwendolyn lunges at Joi from behind. This time she ends up flat on her back with a hunk of Joi’s hair in her hand. Her dress has flown up over her head, exposing a pair of pink panties. A female Android starts to giggle, and the laughter spreads through the crowd. The fuse finally detonates the powder keg and the whole school rocks with the explosion.

  “Look at her! She’s pathetic!” Joi shouts. “This is your Dux? The one who just called you all losers? Has she earned your allegiance? Does she deserve your respect?”

  “Austin!” squeals Gwendolyn.