Just Drive

by L. A. Witt

  So I swore under my breath, pulled away from the stop sign, and turned down the cul-de-sac. I parked next to Dad’s truck. At least Julie’s car wasn’t here. This would probably be awkward enough without an audience.

  Hands in my pockets, I walked up to the front door, but hesitated. I’d technically moved out even though most of my shit was still here. So was I supposed to knock? Or—

  The door opened.

  My dad met my gaze across the weathered welcome mat. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” I gulped. “You, um, wanted to talk.”

  He nodded and stepped aside, gesturing for me to come in. Without a word, we went up the steps and into the living room, and I started toward the couch to sit down, but stopped dead.

  I blinked a few times. “Paul?”

  He rose slowly from the sofa. “Hi, Sean.”

  “What are—” I looked at Dad. Then at Paul. Then back at Dad. “Uh, what’s going on? And why didn’t I see your car outside?”

  “He parked in the garage,” Dad said.

  “Probably best if no one sees that I’m here,” Paul added.

  I gritted my teeth. “Then why are you here?”

  “Sit down.” Dad gestured at the empty armchair. “I think we all need to talk.”

  A lump rose in my throat. “Can we not? It’s done. What more is there to talk about?”

  “Sean.” Dad motioned toward the chair again. “Just sit.”

  I hesitated. This was going to hurt, wasn’t it? Did they think I was an idiot? Like I hadn’t gotten it far enough into my head, and they both had to sit me down and explain to me why we couldn’t—

  “Sean,” Paul said softly. “Please.”

  Stomach in knots, I took a seat. “Okay. So, what’s going on?”

  They glanced at each other, and my stomach knotted even tighter. What the hell had these two been talking about?

  Dad finally cleared his throat and turned to me. “Listen, I know the Navy life has been hard on you.”

  I gritted my teeth. He thought he got it, but he didn’t know the half of it.

  He went on. “I’ve done some thinking, and I think it’s time you stopped paying dues for my career.”

  I blinked. “What?”

  Dad took a deep breath. “I’m retiring. I have another year and a half left on my contract, but I’ve notified my chain of command”—his eyes darted toward Paul—“that I’m retiring once that time is up.”

  I’d barely had time to process the words before Paul chimed in: “And I’m also retiring.”

  “You’re what?”

  He nodded slowly. “I sent my letter up to the rear admiral this morning.”

  My jaw dropped. “But . . . why?”

  He looked me right square in the eye. “Why do you think?”

  I stared at him for a moment, then stood, raking a hand through my hair. I paced in front of the fireplace because I suddenly had too much nervous energy to deal with, and my brain reeled from everything they’d said. “This is insane. You’re . . . You can’t be retiring because of me.”

  Paul stood too. “No, what I can’t do is choose the Navy over the love of my life.”

  My heart dropped into my feet. I leaned against the mantel. “But . . .” I glanced back and forth between them. “Okay, look. The gesture is great, but Paul, what happens in a couple of years when you’re tired of me and you resent me because—”

  “That isn’t going to happen,” he said. “The novelty of any relationship is going to wear off, and if we’re in it for the long haul, we’re going to end up in a comfortable, boring rut like everyone else. But I’ve already been married to the Navy long enough to know exactly what I’m giving up for the chance to be in that comfortable, boring rut with you.”

  My throat tightened. “But what if this doesn’t work out?”

  “Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t.”

  “I don’t want you to hold it against me if it doesn’t.”

  Paul shook his head. “That’s not going to happen. I’m leaving the Navy because being with you made me realize I was ready to move on. And that . . . that I’d already given up too much for the Navy. I can’t give you up too.”

  “But . . . your star . . .”

  “It’s not as important to me as it used to be. I can—” He paused, lowering his gaze, then cleared his throat and looked me in the eye. “The thing is, I can either spend the next few years kissing the right asses to make sure the Senate approves my promotion, or I can start enjoying my life and be with you.”

  “You’ve been working toward that for years, though. How can you give it up without knowing if we’ll even stay together?”

  “I’m willing to take the chance. It’s a risk, yeah. There’s no map. There’s no destination.” He smiled. “All I want is for us to get in the car and just drive.”

  My heart fluttered. I’d thought my own little analogy had been kind of stupid and clichéd, but hearing it from him, when he said it like he really meant it and it really was what he wanted . . .

  I exhaled and rubbed a hand over my face. “What if I say no?”

  Paul swallowed. “I can’t force you. My decision’s already made, though. I’m retiring. I’m done. I’ve given the Navy enough.” He moistened his lips. “Being with you reminded me that there is life out there besides the military. And I want to start living that life while I still have some of it left.”

  I lowered my gaze, fighting to keep way too many emotions in check. “I don’t . . . I don’t even know what to say.”

  His hand materialized on my shoulder. “We can make this work. The Navy’s out of the way. The only thing left is for you to tell me if you want to stay or go.”

  “Of course I want to stay.” I looked in his eyes, and blinked mine into focus, then swiped at them with a shaky hand. “I never wanted to leave.”

  Paul smiled.

  I glanced at my dad, who also smiled.

  And suddenly, it sank in—this was really happening. Paul was here, and my dad wasn’t trying to keep us apart, and the Navy couldn’t keep us apart anymore.

  I swallowed. “This isn’t a joke, is it? You guys are—”

  “We wouldn’t joke about this,” Dad said. “I want you to be happy.” He gestured at Paul. “And you two deserve a shot at making each other happy.”

  My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. I couldn’t fit all this into my head. Was this . . . was this real?

  “I want to see where we can go together,” Paul said. “But . . . of course, you can say no.”

  “Like hell I would.” I stepped closer and threw my arms around him, and squeezed my eyes shut as I held him to me. “God, I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  I loosened my embrace enough to meet his gaze. Heart pounding, knees shaking, I still couldn’t even believe this was real.

  And then, right there in the living room, with my dad standing a few feet away, Paul cupped my face and kissed me. My knees almost dropped right out from under me, but it didn’t matter if they did. Paul was holding me up and melting me at the same time.

  Dad cleared his throat. “Well, I think this is settled?”

  Paul and I separated, and my face burned.

  Dad chuckled as he stood. “I’ll leave you kids alone, but . . .”

  Paul and Dad exchanged glances.

  Paul straightened. To me, he said, “We’ll need to keep things discreet a little longer. Until after I retire.”

  “How long will that take?” I asked.

  Paul shrugged. “A few months, maybe.”

  “Like I said, it’ll be another year and a half or so for me,” Dad said. “But I think once Paul’s retired, there’s no reason you two can’t be open about it.”

  All the air went out of my lungs. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Absolutely.”

  “Whoa.” Just the thought of being with Paul, not looking over our shoulders or hiding in motels . . . “This is insane.” I turned to my dad. “Thank you.
I . . .” I blew out a breath. “That’s all I can say.”

  He smiled, then came closer and hugged me tight. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

  “I know.” I struggled to keep my emotions in check. “You didn’t have a choice.”

  “No, but I should have tried harder to keep—”

  “Dad.” I pulled back and met his gaze. “You did what you could. I know. It’s okay.” I glanced at Paul, and smiled. To my dad, I said, “Thanks for this.”

  “Don’t mention it.” He let me go and turned to Paul, extending his hand. “Good luck.”

  “Hey!” I laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Dad winked. “It means I know you, kid.”

  I rolled my eyes as they shook hands. “All right, rule number one? Neither of you calls me ‘kid.’ Okay?”

  They both laughed. Then Dad left, heading downstairs to the man cave, and it was just me and Paul in the living room.

  I exhaled. “This was, uh, not what I expected when I came over.”

  He wrapped his arms around me. “Yeah, we weren’t quite sure how to explain it via text.”

  “You do realize, I almost turned around out there.” I gestured toward the end of the cul-de-sac. “I almost didn’t show up.”

  He held me a little tighter. “Well, I’m glad you did.”

  “Me too.” I lifted my chin and kissed him softly. “What do you say we get out of here?”

  Paul grinned. “Let’s go.”

  I took out my keys, took his hand, and headed for the front door.

  And I still couldn’t believe this was real.

  I didn’t care where we went. Sean drove, and he drove fast like he knew where we were going, and I just hoped there was a bed on the other end.

  Turned out there was—not twenty minutes after leaving his dad’s house, we swung into a convenience store for some lube, and ten minutes after that, he’d parked behind a tiny rundown motel outside of Anchor Point. I hated to keep coughing up money at these places, but until I was retired and detached from the Navy, discretion was the name of the game.

  Before the motel room door had even clicked shut behind us, I had my hands in Sean’s back pockets and he had me pushed up against the wall.

  God. Yes. Finally.

  “Could fuck you right here,” he murmured between kisses, “like that time over the back of my car.”

  “No,” I breathed. “Not this time.”

  “What? Why not?”

  I pulled his hair back so I could kiss his neck. “’Cause I want to see your face. When you . . .” His shiver sent one through me. I found my breath again, and whispered, “When you come.”

  Sean gripped my shoulders as he bared more of his throat. “That’s . . . gonna be sooner than you think if you keep doing that.”

  I slid my hand down over his thick erection. “Just means I’ll have to make you come twice.”

  Sean closed his eyes and moaned. “Why are we not in bed yet?”

  “Good question.”

  Moments later, naked, hard, and completely out of breath, we were very much in bed. Now that we were here, though, we slowed down. Sort of. I was horny as hell—it was impossible not to be turned on like this in bed with Sean—but the need for sex and orgasms took a back burner to how much I needed him. I couldn’t believe he was here—that we’d found a way to be together—and I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I traced every slope and angle of his body, every inch of hot skin, memorizing him all over again.

  I pushed him onto his back and started kissing down the side of his throat. He moaned. Arched. Swore. I fucking loved the way he loved having his neck kissed.

  His nails burned across my shoulders and down my arms. Every time he moved, his hard cock brushed mine, and I went a little crazier. I could feel his heart beat against my lips. Or maybe it was my own pulse pounding beneath my skin. I’d lost track, and it didn’t matter—he was turned on, and I was turned on, and none of this was stopping until neither of us could move.

  “Lube,” he murmured. “Get . . . Need . . .”

  I pried myself off him and reached for the convenience store bag we’d dropped on the floor. I’d barely come back to him before he grabbed the bottle from me and opened the top.

  “I’m gonna stay just like this.” He glanced at me as he poured lube in his hand. “You’re gonna get on top.”

  My whole body broke out in goose bumps. Yes, fucking yes.

  Sean put the bottle aside and stroked the lube onto his cock. My mouth watered. It had been how long since we’d fucked? And I hadn’t gone completely insane?

  After Sean had lubed himself up, he reached for me, probably to put some on me, but now that I knew what he had in mind, I couldn’t wait. I pinned his wrist to the pillow and climbed on top of him.

  “Plenty of lube,” I said as I positioned myself. “Don’t need any more.”

  “Fine by me.” He tugged his arm free.

  As he steadied himself, I eased myself down onto his slick cock, Sean bit his lip. Squeezing his eyes shut, he arched his back and ran his free hand up and down my side.

  “Like that?” I asked.

  “Uh-huh.” He swept his tongue across his lips and met my gaze. “You?”

  “What do you think?”

  He grinned, and we both exhaled as I took him all the way inside me. I started to lift up again, and Sean mouthed something I didn’t understand. More curses? No idea. But judging by the way his eyes rolled back and his whole body trembled under me, it was hardly “stop.”

  Riding him slowly, I stared down at him. I still couldn’t believe he was here, that we were back together and soon we wouldn’t have to hide it anymore. If I hadn’t been so damn turned on right then, I probably would have collapsed into an emotional mess, but I was much too busy being fucked by his thick cock. Everything else could wait until we’d both come, and oh God, it wouldn’t have to wait long.

  Sean dug his teeth into his lip as he thrust up into me. We fell into perfect sync, and I tried not to think about moving in time with him—if I did, I’d concentrate too hard and fuck it up, and I didn’t want to ruin the amazing rhythm we’d found. I didn’t have to worry about thinking too hard, though. With his cock slamming into me and his muscles straining with exertion, all I could think about was how good he felt and how amazing he looked and—

  “Fuck!” I threw my head back, and my rhythm was gone. Sean didn’t miss a beat. He held my hips tighter and fucked me harder, and then his cock was pulsing inside me and I couldn’t tell his moans from mine anymore.

  All at once, he collapsed back onto the pillows and I slumped over him. We tried to kiss, but . . . we were both breathing too hard. And I was too dizzy and shaky. And way too distracted by the aftershocks of the powerful orgasm. Holy fuck.

  When my arms could hold me up, I lifted myself enough to meet his eyes.

  He grinned. “I missed you.”

  “Missed you too.” I dragged my lips across his. “Missed waking up and not being able to move.”

  Sean laughed. “Yeah. Me too.” He glanced down, probably at the sweat and semen on his abs. “We should get a shower.”

  “Good idea.”

  After a long shower, we dried off and returned to the hard bed. We pulled the sheets up to our waists, but didn’t really need them. Between the hot shower and our body heat, we weren’t exactly cold.

  Sean rested his hand on my waist. “So how long do you think we’ll have to keep this quiet?”

  “I’ll find out soon.” I brushed a drop of water off his temple. “The admiral hasn’t gotten back to me yet, and I’ll probably work it out so they have time to bring in the new CO. But . . . not too long. A few months, maybe. At least until the current fit rep cycle is over and I won’t be signing your dad’s anymore. We won’t be in the clear, but it’ll be better.”

  Sean’s lips tightened for a second, but then he nodded. “I can handle that. We were discreet before.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry
we’ll still have to be for—”

  “It’s okay.” He smiled. “Being discreet for a while beats the hell out of the alternative.”

  I pushed out a breath. “It really does.”

  He ran his fingers through my hair. Something in the tension of his lips told me he had something on his mind, so I didn’t speak.

  Then he lifted his head, kissed me, and pulled me down to him. The tension melted away as we wrapped our arms around each other and let this soft kiss linger for a while. Whatever he’d wanted to say, it didn’t seem to matter now. Instead, all that mattered was . . . this. My favorite thing in the world—lying in bed, skin to skin and limbs tangled up, kissing now and then but mostly just being here. And not having to sweat over why we shouldn’t be, or how long it would be before someone caught on.

  After a while, Sean met my gaze, and that unspoken something was back.

  I swallowed as I brushed a few blue-black strands out of his face. “What’s on your mind?”

  “I . . .” He watched his fingers trail along my collarbone. Then his eyes flicked up to meet mine again. “You’re really giving up the Navy for me?”

  I nodded, then leaned in for another gentle kiss. “I’ve accomplished enough in the Navy. I’m ready to move on.” With a quiet laugh, I added, “Eighteen-year-old me probably wouldn’t understand, but he didn’t know about you.”

  Sean smirked. “To be fair, eighteen-year-old you existed before I did.”

  “Goddamn it.”

  He snorted, and we both burst out laughing.

  I pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Either way, eighteen-year-old me will get over it.”

  “I hope so.” He smiled. “And hey, now you’ll be able to get a dog.”

  “You’re right. God, finally.” I paused. “You like dogs, right?”

  “Pfft. What kind of question is that? Of course I like dogs.”

  “Good.” I cupped his face and kissed him again.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you too.”

  Nothing had ever felt more amazing than holding on to Sean and knowing the Navy wouldn’t take him away. I wasn’t sure what it would be like to be a civilian again, but I was already getting used to the idea of being in love with someone without wondering when the next deployment or set of orders would drop out of the sky.