Initus (Walking Shadows Book 5)

by Talis Jones

  “Yes, Ms. Travers?” Dr. Xi asks, immediately restored to his usual calm.

  “I-I…I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to intrude, I j-just wanted, well I’d wanted to…” One week of theatre camp for kids is clearly insufficient training for a moment such as this. My eyes dart helplessly between Dr. Xi’s cool gaze and Dr. Convici’s retreating back.

  “Let me guess,” he smiles flatly. “You’d wanted the chance to speak with Dr. Convici for your dissertation.”

  “My what?” I ask puzzled, my mind still reeling from being caught.

  He gestures towards the papers in my arms and I mentally slap myself. “Uh, yes. I haven’t had a chance to speak with you much directly and with Dr. Convici here I’d thought, well, I’d hoped to take advantage of the opportunity, but I see now that I shouldn’t have been so… I’m sorry, I’ll get back to work.”

  Turning to leave I grimace, silently berating my foolishness, and feel my cheeks turning hot with embarrassment. What had I done? Would I be fired? Did the device even manage to pick up anything useful?

  “Mr. Travers,” Dr. Xi calls. “Have a seat.”

  Eight

  With dread in my bones, I enter Dr. Xi’s office, closing the door behind me, and perch gingerly on the edge of a chair in front of his desk.

  “Dr. Elizabeth Convici is a respected genius in our shared field of expertise. We have a complicated personal and professional past that these days seems to bring out our worst selves. I apologize for the scene we may have caused earlier today and for whatever you may have overheard outside my office.”

  “Oh, no, really I didn’t-” I steady myself and start again. Giving him a sheepish grin, I confess, “I’m usually so focused on my work I forget there’s anyone or anything else around me.”

  His gaze bores into mine and after an insufferable silence he asks, “Is there something that you would like to ask?”

  Breathing suddenly seems like the life-or-death action that it is and I struggle against the fear clenching my chest. “Not about, um, not about whatever you and Dr. Convici were arguing about,” I insist quietly. “I only heard general shouting, but was too wrapped up in my own mental prep to notice until it was too late and I panicked. Besides, that’s your private business.”

  “But there is something you’d like to ask,” he prods shrewdly.

  “Yes,” I decide, not feeling at all confident but determined all the same. “It’s about my niece, Sofia. You mentioned her when you were leaving my assigned lab and I admit I’d thought it…unexpected, to see you leaving the daycare center the other day.”

  He leans back confidently in his high-backed chair, his chin jutting up slightly so that he has to look a bit down his nose to see me. “What is your question, Ms. Travers.”

  I never really understood what people meant when they tossed around the phrase ‘frozen in fear’ and yet right now I feel as if my entire system is slowly freezing from the inside out. Reminding myself of my reasons for prying, for daring to risk everything, I meet his gaze and feel proud at how piercing I make it. “I want to know what your interest is with my niece.”

  Time seems to stand still as we stare each other down, the ticking of the analog clock hanging on his wall seems louder than my own fiercely pounding heart.

  Dr. Xi smiles. “You’re very bright, Ms. Travers,” he compliments though at this moment it feels insidious. “I did put you on Dr. Ramsey’s project for a reason and it wasn’t your relation to him.”

  I remain silent, unsure of what to say, letting him reveal his own hand.

  “Has Dr. Ramsey spoken with you?”

  The answer seems silly, of course we’ve talked often as we are family, but I know that’s not what he’s asking. He’s still on the topic of Sofia. “No, he’s all work work work here and at home, well, he likes to leave his work at work.”

  He smiles though there is little humor in it. “You’re very intelligent, Ms. Travers. I’m sure you know that. Whether or not Dr. Ramsey has spoken to you about confidential matters, you have your own curiosities.”

  Something in his piercing eyes makes me reconsider continuing to feign ignorance. I don’t want to risk Javi, but I’ll get nowhere if I remain silent. “Yes, I do.” My reply is simple and straightforward. Fitz would be better at this, he grew up learning the art of verbal games and sparring.

  Dr. Xi nods encouragingly. “By all means, share them with me.”

  Everything in me recoils from confrontation, the fact that I haven’t fled the room already shocks me. Sure I don’t like to just sit idly by when something needs to be said or done, but I’d rather have someone else be the front man when the stakes are high. Hiding my sweating palms in curled fists I figuratively pitch forwards into the matter. “Sofia, my niece, is different. I saw you leaving the daycare, she seemed familiar with your name, and I think that association is connected to this shift in her behavior.”

  “Just her behavior?” he questions, a restrained eagerness in his posture.

  “No,” I admit. “She’s different in her behavior, her responses to situations, her thinking in general. Some moments she’s the child she ought to be and others she’s fierce, old…bloodthirsty. She’s becoming unstable.” A hesitation lurks beneath my tone, a question, a hope that he’ll call me mad. That hope is short lived.

  “I won’t lie to you, Ms. Travers,” Dr. Xi decides with a heavy sigh. “You’re too smart, it would be an insult to both your intelligence and my work to do so. Our Sofia has become an integral part of my studies. She is already showing signs of progress and even if she accelerates no further, she will have served a great cause.”

  My spine bristles at his claim to her, but I choke on a laugh. “What cause is that? Does this have to do with the U.S. Secretary of State or any of the other government goons I’ve seen visiting with growing frequency?”

  “Every discovery requires money and sacrifice,” Dr. Xi accedes. “But my work is bigger than nationalism, patriotism, or even profit. I will solve the riddle of species and creation and when I do, the possibilities will be infinite. We will have at last wrestled control over nature, over any deity claiming power over this world.”

  Chills race down my spine. Horror and fear fill my bones though a shameful dark corner of my heart is dazzled. “Nature requires balance, Dr. Xi. It is the balance. If we overcome nature, if we succeed in controlling life and death…what will hold the balance? If humanity manages to grasp immortality…what happens when the planet can no longer sustain us?”

  He laughs, a loud surprised burst of laughter. “Ms. Travers, your course is set for preserving life, for eradicating disease. Is that not the same thing? A similar path working towards the same eventuality?”

  His words wrench my stomach. Is that true? “I never presumed to have any ambitions for overcoming death,” I mumble.

  “Then why bother saving anyone at all?”

  “I…” I know he’s wrong. I know his vision is twisted and wrong and yet I can’t articulate why. I’m at a loss as to how to defend myself, how to steer his course to safer waters.

  “Sofia,” I manage to utter at last. Yes, back to what I can control now. “I want you to leave her alone. She isn’t a test subject, she’s a child. I know Javi, he wouldn’t have given you permission to use her.”

  “Everything is agreed upon,” he replies smoothly, daring me to continue my challenge.

  “No,” I insist, trying to match his calm. “I want what is good for Sofia, what is good for humanity. This must stop, Dr. Xi. If you somehow convinced her father to consent to your testing then it was done in an untruthful manner, or manipulated in some way.”

  “Ms. Travers,” he smiles, losing a bit of his patience. “You’re one of the brightest interns at ZoiTech. We need you here, the medical field needs you here.”

  “Thank you,” I smile tightly, “but this isn’t about me.”

  “I would like you to join my personal research team,” he offers. “A full permanent position, n
ot an internship. You could have a career that will be historic. You will be working on things that will change the future, the entire world. We need your help.”

  I struggle to hold back a huff of distress. I can feel my blood heating with discomfort. I want to run, I want to yell, I want to go to sleep and wake up to discover this was all a horrible dream. “Dr. Xi, I’m flattered, I really am, and I want nothing more than to help. I applied for this internship because I believe in ZoiTech, because I want to help make strides in the study of genetic healing, because I want to help people. I just can’t agree with your using children, embryos, as your test subjects.”

  “You don’t understand…” he shakes his head in frustration.

  “No, I don’t,” I insist firmly. “Please, I’m not trying to be obstinate. I’m not trying to work against you. I just need to understand why because from what I do understand, I can’t condone what you’re doing.”

  “We need those children,” he insists, his cool façade shattering piece by piece. “How else will we yield results? The older the subject, the less successful the tests.”

  “Find another way,” I suggest hotly.

  “No, this is the best way. You have to accept it. Ethical hoops slow down progress and people die,” he snaps. “I want results. I want a legacy.”

  “You want to sacrifice children for fame?” I feel as if the air has been knocked from my lungs. What monster sits across from me?

  “No! That is not what I said,” he growls.

  “Then explain it to me!” I almost shout. “Tell me why you are doing this! All I can understand is that it is something you merely want. Well we all want things and we can’t always have them because to sacrifice morality, ethics, compassion is to sacrifice everything. What good is your quest for physically improving human beings if by doing so you negate the worth of living?”

  “What would you know?” He pins me with a venomous glare.

  “I know at least that.”

  “You work for me, Ms. Travers,” he reminds me and his face is a fight between anger and fluster.

  “And for the first time I wonder why,” I answer softly, my tone almost mournful. “I may work for you, Dr. Xi, but I don’t serve you. I serve people, and you…you are a monster.” I stand, ready to leave, unable to sit here a minute longer.

  “You don’t understand.”

  My feet freeze in their retreat and I turn back to the man behind the fancy desk. “No, I don’t.” Just then four armed guards escorting two men in suits appear at the end of the hall and I can somehow sense that they’re with the government. “What does the government even want with your research?”

  “What does any government want with scientists?” He tilts his head as if expecting me to put two and two together.

  “Weapons,” I conclude. “But we don’t work in tech like that, we work with people…” Suddenly I recall how I’d described Sofia to him earlier, how she’d defended her territory so ruthlessly. “You want to weaponize people, soldiers.” My voice is hardly a whisper so weighted with disgusted disbelief.

  “I have a wide range of interests, Ms. Travers,” he smiles. “The invitation to join me still stands.”

  I shake my head as if it might help sort out my thoughts, jumpstart my senses. “I’m not fired?”

  Dr. Xi chuffs. “No, Ms. Travers. I told you, we need you here. I want you on my team. Tell me what you want, Ms. Travers.”

  For a moment the only sound in my ears is the rush of blood in my veins. Several emotions assault my being but above all, in this moment, is a deep, rage-inducing offense. For him to keep lauding me with compliments, for him to offer bribes and attempted manipulations… The insult is too great and it almost frightens me. “It does not matter what I want. What matters is what is good for humanity and for Sofia. I want my niece freed of your experiments, you claim she is essential to you, and so we are at a standstill, sir. I do not understand you at all. I do understand that you are hurting my family.”

  I reach out for the door handle, ready to yank it open and flee, but once more his words halt me before I can escape.

  “I know that lawyer, Connors O’Malley, spoke to you,” he shares and I dare not look at him. “Speaking to him or anyone else would be ill advised.”

  I take a moment to steady my breathing so my voice won’t quake. “As you said, Dr. Xi, I am not a fool.” With that I calmly retreat from his office no matter how badly my legs long to bolt.

  Deciding I need some fresh air before going back to work and pretending nothing happened, I make my way to the lobby only to find Dr. Elizabeth Convici speaking with Dottie. Steeling my nerves, I walk up to the front desk. “Dr. Convici,” I smile politely. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

  Dr. Convici’s gaze feels like a dangerously light scraping of claws. “Ms. Travers, I believe your name was?”

  “Morgan Travers,” I nod unable to hide the slight blush that she remembered. “I’m an intern here and was beyond excited when I heard you were visiting ZoiTech.”

  “How much of Harold’s pet are you?” she wonders coolly. “Did he send you to smooth over some ruffled feathers? I’ll go ahead and tell you, flattery won’t work.”

  For a moment I splutter, thrown off by her accusations. “No, I-I studied your work for my thesis,” I insist. “Your company doesn’t have interns, however, so I took the internship with Dr. Xi though his work is equally as fascinating or at least as much as I’ve studied so far…I’m sorry, I just really wanted to say hello to you…”

  Dr. Convici stares at me long and hard. “Leave work by 5pm sharp, Ms. Travers. It doesn’t do to dawdle and I think I’d like to meet you again.”

  “Oh but my shift is until six…” She was already striding out the door, leaving my protest unheard and my mind to puzzle over her odd parting advice. Why five? What happens at five? Suddenly her threats hissed in Dr. Xi’s office resurface in my thoughts and whether real or not, I find my legs racing back to Jez and Fitz. Pretend nothing happened? Not if I want to live to see tomorrow and my friends with me.

  I pat my pocket. I forgot to switch off the recording device after leaving the office. Connors O’Malley needs evidence? Well I have what he’s looking for and maybe more.

  Nine

  With rushed movements I swipe my badge at the lab, my hands shaking so badly it takes me three tries, but the moment the doors slide open I practically trip over my own feet as I spot Jez and Fitz by the sink in the back corner.

  “Hey, Mor,” Jez smiles, no doubt hearing my unstealthy approach. His eyes quickly take in my fractured composure and he nudges Fitz.

  “I need to talk to you,” I insist quietly, my eyes flitting between them. “Now. I need to talk to you now.”

  Fitz immediately puts down whatever he was washing and turns off the tap. His hand on my back he begins to steer me back out the lab.

  “We’re taking five!” calls Jez breezily.

  “Morgan just had a break!” a voice protests, my brain in too much of a spiral to identify it though I know each of them well.

  “Shove it, Malcom,” Jez teases before following us out the door.

  The moment Fitz pushes me into a chair in the break room my eyes begin searching frantically for cameras. They’re everywhere, this is a top security facility. They’re everywhere even if you can’t see them. They’ll see. They’ll hear. They’re everywhere. They can’t know. They can’t–

  “Morgan, you need to breathe,” Jez soothes softly. Crouching down he takes one of my hands and attempts to smooth out its tight fist.

  “What happened?” Fitz orders sharply. Jez glares up at him but he ignores it keeping his eyes locked on my own.

  Focusing as much energy as I can into calming the raging pace of my heart, I count my breaths and my shaking begins to slow to soft tremors I decide I can do nothing about. Not now. “I left to speak with Dr. Convici. I figured I may never get another chance,” I start.

  Fitz and Jez both nod, their attention rapt. “
And did you?” Fitz prompts.

  My head jerks. “Not…not at first.” Suddenly my eyes lift to a corner of the room and my panic begins to resurface. “They’ll see. They’ll hear,” I murmur as my body begins rocking and sweat beads along my skin.

  “Morgan.” Fitz says my name like it’s a command. “Tell us what happened.”

  Squeezing my eyes tight as if it will help block out the knowledge of the little spies in the room, I continue. “They were arguing and I would have left except I was curious and needed to know because…because he’d mentioned Sofia earlier when they were leaving the lab and I needed to know why.” Suddenly my eyes snap open and I know they look mad, desperate. “You didn’t see. I didn’t tell. He was there when I picked up Sofia. She’s changed. She’s different and it scares me.”

  Jez grunts, remembering how easily she brushed him off. How she lacked her usual colorful energy.

  “I spoke with Javi and he told me…” my panic tightens its hold on my throat and it takes another low command from Fitz to continue. My hands crush Jez’s but he says nothing. “Dr. Xi has been using her a-and others for his experiments and Javi can’t stop him because Dr. Xi has some ludicrous legal claim on Sofia. They used his drugs to help conceive her and the paperwork…”

  “Surely that wouldn’t stand in court,” Jez frowns.

  I resume the fervent shaking of my head. “He doesn’t want to take the chance. If he does and he loses, Dr. Xi will take full custody.”

  “But that doesn’t make any sense!”

  “Anything is possible,” Fitz growls softly. “Especially when dealing with power and money like Dr. Xi. That isn’t what upset you, at least not today. Tell us what happened, Morgan.”

  Sucking in a deep breath I nod to myself, willing myself to get a grip. “I needed to know and so I listened. They h-hate each other. Convici accused Xi of taking their project and abandoning her for profit. They hate each other and before she left she threatened to destroy him. She mentioned an explosion.”