Dry Creek Daddy

by Janet Tronstad

  Mark knew he was in trouble when the boy didn’t move to get out of bed.

  “It will taste just as good in the pickup,” Mark tried coaxing the child.

  Jeremy didn’t even answer.

  Finally, Mark looked up at Hannah. She was still standing in the doorway watching.

  “Help,” Mark mouthed the word to Hannah. He wasn’t facing Jeremy so the boy wouldn’t see him. Mark had to admit, though, that he was out of his league. His son might only be four years old, but he was stubborn.

  For the first time, Mark realized just how much he had missed in the years when he had been away from Jeremy. Hannah might have had the full load, but Mark hadn’t had the chance to learn about parenting in slow stages. He was thinking now that he might have met his match in his son.

  Fortunately, Hannah was there and she silently walked over to the bed. Mark stood up so she could sit by their son.

  * * *

  Hannah knew better than to force Jeremy. He’d always had a mind of his own. He could be gentled, though, and she reached out to stroke his head. “I thought you liked those pumpkin muffins.”

  “I do,” Jeremy admitted.

  Hannah could tell he was wavering.

  “Billings is a nice city,” she continued. By now Jeremy had inched a little closer to her. “And we could go have ice cream when we’re there.”

  Jeremy’s forehead was furrowed with a frown now. She thought he would ask whether they were going to see a doctor. She was ready to tell him. Then he scooted closer still and sat up to put his head next to her ear.

  “Is the man going, too?” Jeremy whispered to her.

  Hannah was surprised. Doctors were not on her son’s mind. She had thought Mark and Jeremy were getting along well together. Maybe she was wrong, though. She looked up and saw Mark watching them intently. He knew something was going on. She realized she didn’t want to hurt him and he would be if Jeremy didn’t even want to be around him. But it was her son’s choice.

  She leaned down so she could whisper back to Jeremy. “Do you want him to come?”

  Jeremy gave a vigorous nod with his head.

  “Well, then,” Hannah said in relief, “you need to get up and get dressed. I laid your clothes out in the bathroom. Be sure and brush your teeth, too.”

  Her son nodded again and climbed out of bed. He padded in his slippers down the short hall and into the bathroom. Within seconds, she heard water running and the sounds of the chair being pulled close to the sink.

  She stood up, feeling competent. She expected Mark to congratulate her.

  Mark was frowning slightly, though.

  “That whispering,” he said. “Were you telling him that he’s going to see a doctor?”

  “I was going to,” Hannah said. “But...he’s never liked doctors or hospitals or anything medical. Maybe he doesn’t need to know quite yet.”

  “Won’t it just be more upsetting to him when he finds out where he is?” Mark asked.

  Hannah had never had anyone challenge her parenting skills. It might just be that they were sympathetic to her plight and didn’t want to discourage her, but not even Mrs. Hargrove had ever suggested she do something different and, if anyone had that right, it was the older woman.

  “Do you think you could do it better?” Hannah asked coldly.

  She had to keep in mind that Mark could sue her for custody of Jeremy and a judge might see him as the better parent. After all, he had a part interest in a family farm. He had financial stability. A sister and a father Jeremy already knew and liked. All she ever had was a month-to-month apartment and a week-to-week paycheck in a series of rural cafés. She’d never even had a steady babysitter until she moved back to Dry Creek and got the offer from Mrs. Hargrove.

  Mark hadn’t answered, so she repeated herself, “Do you think you could do better?”

  “Of course not,” Mark said. He looked sincere. “I don’t think I could have done nearly as well as you obviously have with him. He’s a wonderful, well-adjusted boy.”

  Hannah felt the irritation drain out of her.

  Then Mark added, “It’s just that, at some point, he has to know.”

  Hannah had to be honest. “That worries me, too. I just can’t—” She wasn’t sure why, but then it came to her. She could not add to the burden her son carried. She felt every anxiety he had, even if he could not name them. She saw the worry in his eyes and it pained her. She didn’t want him to feel the aloneness she’d known as a child. The sense that he was an outsider and that disaster might strike at any time. She wanted to protect him from the whole world and she was only one person.

  By then Jeremy came back into the room where she and Mark stood. The boy was dressed, but his T-shirt was on backward and he was carrying one shoe. The other shoe was on his right foot.

  “I can’t find my sock,” Jeremy complained as he held the shoe up to Hannah.

  “You sit on the bed,” Hannah directed her son. This much she could do for him. “I’ll go find the sock.”

  She needed a couple of chairs for company, she told herself as she walked down the hallway. She didn’t like to sit and visit with someone on the bed, especially when they had an empty bedroom down the hall. But chairs would have to wait until another day.

  The sock was in the bathtub and she returned to the living room with it in time to see Jeremy showing Mark the comic books he wanted to take with them to Billings.

  “I’ll need to stop on the way out and knock on the door to my dad’s house,” Hannah said. “I tried calling him when I was in the kitchen and he didn’t answer. He might have the ringer down on his phone, though. I know he used to do that when he didn’t want to be disturbed.”

  Mark tied a knot in the plastic bag that held what looked like half a dozen comic books.

  “I’ll knock if you want,” he said. “I’m already used to his language when he’s crossed.”

  Hannah had Jeremy on her lap and she was slipping the last sock onto his foot. She looked up at Mark and grinned. “I’d appreciate that. If he can string together any kind of a sentence, we can assume he’s still doing fine.”

  By the time they were all out the door, the sky was pink with the sunrise. She had taken a blanket to wrap around Jeremy so he’d be comfortable. She saw that Mark had borrowed the car seat his father used when Jeremy visited them on the ranch. She had forgotten to mention that to Mark.

  After they got Jeremy tucked into the back seat, Mark walked the few yards over to Hannah’s father’s house. Mark had to knock several times before he got a response, but Hannah had no trouble hearing her father’s words even though she was seated inside the pickup.

  “Cover your ears,” Hannah said as she looked back at Jeremy. He was already nodding off, his head drooping as he sat in his car seat. He had a comic book clenched in one hand. He wasn’t listening to anyone.

  Mark opened the door on the driver’s side and pulled himself into the cab. “I told your father we’d bring him a few bitter lemons from Billings.” He looked over at her and grinned. “He said to go ahead. Said we could try and sweeten him up, but he doesn’t think it will work.”

  Hannah shook her head. “Nothing will work if he doesn’t want it to.”

  Mark drove the pickup out of her family’s yard and onto the gravel road. When they had found a steady pace, Hannah leaned down and picked up the larger of the two thermos bottles.

  “Want a cup of coffee?” she asked as she unscrewed the top lid of the cylinder. She drew in an appreciative breath of the aroma and then turned to Mark. “You be sure and thank Allie for this. I’m not sure I could have faced today without a cup of coffee.”

  “Pour me one, too,” Mark said. “We have an extra cup in the bag.”

  Hannah gave the lid cup to Mark; he set it in the beverage holder by his door. Then she reached down for the blue plastic cu
p and filled that with coffee, too.

  She figured she’d hold the cup until the coffee cooled off a little. As she sat there, though, she felt the insecurities of the day press in on her. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to tell Jeremy about this visit because she couldn’t hide her stress. This new doctor might give them very bad news and she wasn’t ready to hear it. The doctor who diagnosed Jeremy had not gotten things right for several months. The man had her dosing Jeremy with vitamins and the boy kept failing. She hated to think what the specialist would tell her today. She almost stopped breathing when she faced her fear. She was afraid Jeremy was dying and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

  Hannah blinked back tears and then suddenly realized that she had been sitting with the cup of coffee in her hand for so long that it had gotten lukewarm.

  She could sense Mark looking at her and she glanced up to see him. “You going to drink that coffee or just hold it ’til it turns to dust?” Mark asked.

  “I was just thinking,” she said as she put the cup to her lips and took a swallow. She winced involuntarily. “Would it really ever turn to dust?”

  Mark shook his head and then slowed the pickup down. “Toss the stuff out the window and get yourself a new cup.”

  Hannah did that. It was surprising what a good cup of coffee could do for someone in the early morning hours.

  She turned to Mark. “Thanks. I feel better already.”

  He nodded. “Be sure and eat a muffin, too. Allie put all kinds of healthy things in them. We’ve got a lot of miles to cover.”

  Hannah nodded. She needed to remind herself that Mark was not the enemy. Not once had he suggested that she was doing anything wrong except for not warning Jeremy about the doctor. And maybe he was right about that. She just didn’t know how to tell her son he was ill. She wished she was the one who was sick, but then who would take care of Jeremy?

  She glanced over at Mark. Legally, if she could no longer care for Jeremy, the job would fall to Mark. Maybe he did need to spend more time with Jeremy.

  Chapter Nine

  Mark was relieved when he saw the cliffs that the locals called the Rims. They signaled the entrance to the town of Billings, Montana. The three of them had made good time and would be waiting in the reception area for Jeremy’s appointment. He glanced back in the mirror to see the boy. Jeremy had eaten two muffins and they’d stopped for a hamburger about a half hour ago. He’d dozed off several times during the trip, but he was awake and alert now. Mark noticed the boy had kept his comic books beside him the entire trip. He hadn’t fussed, either.

  “I brought some quarters for the meter outside the doctor’s building,” Hannah said. “They told me when I made the appointment that parking was limited and it was best to be prepared for the meters.”

  Mark nodded. He was glad he’d come with Hannah. She was vibrating with worry so tightly that he wondered how she would have made it on her own. But at least she wasn’t pretending anymore that nothing was bothering her.

  The avenue was wide that led to the doctor’s office, and Mark had no trouble finding the single-story brick building. Young trees lined the street in front and it was close to a larger building marked as a cancer center. Hannah was wise to be prepared with quarters because they did have to park on the street.

  They walked up to the building three abreast. Jeremy was between Mark and Hannah. None of them were holding hands. A side door had the doctor’s name and they entered the receptionist area. Mark guided Jeremy toward a row of chairs while Hannah went to the counter to talk to the clerk there.

  Hannah was shaking when she came back to sit beside Mark, and he put his hands over hers to steady the both of them.

  “They want to talk to me alone first,” she said. She glanced down at Jeremy and then back up to Mark. He could see her force the stress from her face. “Probably just so I can fill out some forms,” she said with a tiny laugh. “You know how that is.”

  Mark’s heart went out to her. “Jeremy and I will hold down the fort.” He looked over at the boy. “Won’t we?”

  The boy looked paler than he had yet this morning, but he nodded.

  “It’ll be okay, Mommy,” Jeremy said, and Mark thought Hannah would start to cry. But just then a nurse with a clipboard called Hannah’s name and led her into the back of the office.

  “I just hope it’s not about money,” Hannah whispered as she passed in front of Mark.

  He reached out to stop her. “I thought you had insurance.”

  “Deductibles,” she stopped to mumble.

  “And experimental stuff,” she added and then kept on walking.

  Mark just sat there. He almost wished his father hadn’t spent so much of the ranch assets on Mark’s nursing home care. The coffers were low at home and he was entitled to only a percentage of what was there. Years ago, when he’d wanted money, he’d sign up to ride in a rodeo. He wondered frantically if he could manage a win in any of the categories today.

  Finally, he noticed that Jeremy was sitting very still.

  Mark leaned down. “Everything okay?”

  Jeremy looked up. “Is my mommy sick?”

  “No.” Mark was surprised. “No, she’s fine.”

  Mark knew that Hannah should have told Jeremy what was going on, but as Mark looked at the troubled boy, he faced the same problem that Hannah had. He didn’t know the words to use, either.

  “It’s me, then,” Jeremy said, his tone defeated.

  “What do you mean?” Mark asked carefully, looking down at the boy. Mark didn’t want to make any mistakes. “It’s you, what?”

  Jeremy stared up at Mark.

  “Me that’s sick,” Jeremy finally said.

  When he had made his announcement, Jeremy stopped looking at Mark. Instead, the boy faced the reception counter, his hands gripping those comic books like the heroes inside could leap off the pages and rescue him.

  “It’s kind of scary, isn’t it?” Mark asked quietly.

  Jeremy nodded his head vigorously, but he didn’t say anything. He did, however, scoot closer to Mark.

  “The first thing to know is that the doctor wants to make you better,” Mark said, putting his arm around Jeremy. “And the doctors are very smart. They’ll do everything they can to make you well.”

  Jeremy seemed to think about that for a minute.

  “Will I go to sleep?” he asked then.

  “You mean with anesthesiology?” Mark replied and then realized Jeremy did not know the term. “They do put you to sleep if you have an operation. I don’t know if you will have one or not yet.”

  “I can’t have one,” Jeremy looked up, protesting in great distress. “I might not wake up.”

  “Oh, don’t worry.” Mark wondered where the boy got his terrors. “The doctors make you come out of it.”

  Jeremy stared at him, his fears not lessening. Mark noticed the boy looking down at those comic heroes in his hands.

  “Nobody could wake you up,” Jeremy mumbled, his head still turned down. “When you were in the hospital. The doctors couldn’t do it then. Mommy asked one of them.”

  “Oh.” Mark felt the air pushed out of him.

  “Mommy tried to wake you up, too,” Jeremy continued. “But she couldn’t. The doctor said nobody could.”

  His son’s voice had gone from terror-stricken to sad, and Mark scooped the boy up from where he sat beside him and settled Jeremy in his lap. Sometimes, words alone were not enough.

  “I didn’t have an operation,” Mark spoke low for Jeremy’s ears only. “You don’t have to worry about not waking up because of what I had. I had a coma. It was my own fault. I did something stupid. That won’t happen to you.”

  His son looked up at him with uncertainty written all over his face.

  “It won’t happen to you,” Mark repeated. “I promise. You won’t go to sleep
and stay that way for a long time like I did.”

  God help us, Mark prayed silently so he wouldn’t scare his son.

  For the first time, Jeremy relaxed against Mark’s chest. Mark didn’t loosen his arm around the boy. In fact, he tightened it. Mark wondered if he should have promised what he could not guarantee, but it was the only thing he could do. He relied on God to protect Jeremy.

  Mark sat there in the middle of the day in the doctor’s waiting room and wondered how parents without faith could face the future—not the future for themselves, but for their children.

  He looked up in time to see Hannah walk through the door. Her face was white and she headed straight for him and Jeremy.

  * * *

  Hannah sat down and reached for her son. She was on the verge of tears and she never cried, at least not willingly. Mark lifted Jeremy off his lap and settled him on hers. Only then did she start to breathe evenly. She lifted her hand and smoothed down the cowlick on Jeremy’s head. He was precious to her. She looked up and tried to give Mark a reassuring smile. She could tell right away that he was as shaken as she was.

  Finally she looked down and cuddled Jeremy to her. “The doctor wants to examine you,” she murmured to her son. Mark had been right, she thought. She should have been open with Jeremy earlier. “I don’t want you to be frightened or anything. I’ll be there with you the whole time.”

  “I know I’m sick,” Jeremy said.

  Hannah nodded. She was so shaken she must have not heard her son correctly. “It’s all right. I’ll be with you.”

  “I’m not afraid.” Jeremy leaned forward a little.

  “Oh,” Hannah said, studying her son for any signs of distress. He appeared to be sincere. “Well, you shouldn’t be. The doctor wants to help you get well. He’s our friend.”

  She said the last words a little woodenly, but Jeremy did not seem to object. He didn’t seem to be paying attention.

  “He—” Jeremy kept his voice private, but he nodded at Mark. “He said I wouldn’t go to sleep forever. Not like he did.”