Ghost Squadron Omnibus

by Sarah Noffke

  Eddie suspected that Knox and Cheng would need much time to fill in all the gaps. They were still in Hatch’s lab. Eddie and Julianna had left them to answer each other’s questions and marvel that they had been reunited at all. It probably felt like a dream.

  “Jules, pull up a seat,” Eddie said, indicating one of the chairs at the neighboring table. He, Lars, Chester, and Marilla were gathered around a high bar table.

  “What are you playing?” she asked, shoving a chair between him and Lars.

  “‘Cards Against Humanity,’” Chester informed her.

  “Sounds like a game that is counterintuitive to Ghost Squadron’s mission,” she stated.

  Chester scoffed at her, pushing his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose. “That’s only because you haven’t played it. We all need a chance to show our more morbid side. How else are we going to keep doing what we do? Fighting the good fight?”

  “By knowing that it serves the greater good,” Julianna said flatly. She was playing up the dry humor, which Eddie found entertaining.

  “Well, and defending the Federation. Don’t forget about that,” Marilla stated.

  Eddie dealt Julianna in from a deck of white cards. “It’s a fairly easy game to play. One person picks up a black card and reads it, and there is a blank. You fill it in with one of those cards.” He pointed to the white cards now in her hand.

  Julianna’s eyes widened as she read the cards in her hand, which said offensive things. That was the point. “What’s the goal of this game?”

  “The person who reads the black cards reads everyone’s answer, and the most offensive or entertaining one is the winner,” Chester explained.

  “In essence, we’re each trying to be the biggest asshole,” Lars said, his tone neutral.

  “Okay, well, I don’t really have a soul.” Julianna fanned out her cards in her hand, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go for it.”

  Eddie picked up a black card from the center deck and read, “Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children blank.”

  He watched as everyone at the table shuffled through their cards to find the cleverest match. Marilla giggled, which earned her a curious look from Chester.

  “And when you read the cards, you don’t know whose card is whose?” Julianna asked, hesitating with the white card in her hand.

  “That’s right,” Eddie said.

  She scooted the card across the table at him.

  “But of course, if I pick your card as the winner you’re going to have to fess up,” he said and watched as her face flushed pink.

  Noise erupted at the bar as the crew cheered for one of the pilots to chug a drink.

  “We should shut them down soon,” Julianna said over her cards to Eddie.

  “Come on, Jules—they’re just getting started.” He picked up the bottle of whiskey next to him and poured a shot into an empty glass, indicating with a nod that it was hers.

  “Thanks,” Julianna said, lowering her cards and taking a sip.

  When everyone had turned in their cards, Eddie shuffled them before picking up the stack.

  “Now it’s time to see how demented you all are,” Eddie said.

  “No one can beat my wickedness,” Chester stated proudly.

  Julianna slammed the glass down after finishing it. Eddie winked at her and read the black card, “Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children…” He looked at the first white card. “Soup that is too hot.”

  Chester revolved in Marilla’s direction, shaking his head at her. “That’s your card, isn’t it?”

  “Chest, shhhh. It’s supposed to be a secret,” Marilla said, embarrassed.

  “Didn’t you have something crude in that stack of cards?” he asked.

  “Yes, but it was all highly offensive…” Marilla’s voice trailed away. She probably realized she was fairly bad at the game, and Eddie actually liked that about her. Someone on the crew had to be good at heart.

  “Okay, next one,” Eddie said, rereading the black card. “Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children…” He pulled up the next white card. “A mopey zoo lion.”

  Chester let out an impatient sigh. “Let me guess…Lars. That one was yours? Come on, people. Am I the only one who came to play?”

  “You’re not supposed to call out whose card you think it is,” Marilla complained.

  Chester held up his hands in surrender. “It was just a guess.”

  “But now we know it wasn’t your card,” Julianna stated matter-of-factly.

  “Or do you? Maybe it was a ruse,” Chester said slyly.

  “Okay, once again,” Eddie stated, picking up the next white card. “Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children…a lifetime of sadness.” Eddie slapped the card down away from the other two answers. “Damn, that’s dark and funny as hell.”

  Lars laughed. “Yeah, that one will be hard to beat.”

  Chester was having a hard time hiding his giddy glee. That answer had obviously been his.

  “Last one,” Eddie said, pulling up the last white card. “Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children…” His mouth fell open when he read the answer. “Dead parents.”

  Chester exploded with laughter, throwing his hand in Julianna’s direction. “Damn it! I was just bested by a newbie.”

  Julianna released a small smile, not giving away much.

  “Commander, if that is in fact your card, then you’re the winner,” Eddie said, sliding the card in her direction. She took it and bowed her head slightly.

  “I’ve had a couple lifetimes to hone my skill at games like this,” Julianna stated.

  Eddie was halfway done dealing a new hand when Hatch waddled into the lounge. Since he was rarely seen outside his lab, he earned the attention of most in the bar. The mechanic hurried over to their table and placed a file between Julianna and Eddie, displacing a few of the cards.

  “That one,” Hatch said with finality, like they should all know what he was referring to.

  Eddie and Julianna exchanged looks of uncertainty. “That one what?” Eddie asked.

  “That one. That’s the Chief Engineer I want,” Hatch stated.

  “Oh,” Julianna said with surprise, picking up the file. Her eyes widened when she opened it. “But she’s—”

  “That’s the one I want. Her or no one,” Hatch said definitively.

  Julianna nodded and laid the file back down, keeping her hand on it. “We’ll discuss it with Jack. I’m sure we can make it work.”

  Eddie eyed the file, but decided against trying to pry it away from Julianna. There would be time for that. This was teambuilding time, which was important to the captain. They could fight on an ongoing basis because they took time like this to bond.

  “I trust you to make it happen, Julie,” Hatch said, turning and waddling back the way he’d come. “Just don’t let the captain screw it up.”

  Eddie handed Julianna a black card. “I think he secretly likes me, but admitting such a thing would destroy the incredible act we have going.”

  “Do you now?” Julianna asked, taking the card. “Okay, here’s the question you’re to answer…” She cleared her throat and read, “I drink to forget blank?”

  Everyone around the table shuffled through their cards for the best match. Playing Cards Against Humanity was a great way to see how everyone thought, Eddie mused. Marilla was sensitive, and therefore picked the safe answers. Lars was respectful, and therefore chose answers that wouldn’t offend. Chester, as a hacker, always tried to push the limits. And Julianna, he suspected, had a hidden wit that could best them all.

  “The answers are,” Julianna read the black card again, “I drink to forget…” she picked up the first card and her face dropped in irritation. “Alcoholism.”

  “Nice one,” Eddie said with a laugh.

  She picked up the next card. “I drink to forget…Harry Potter erotica.”

  Marilla covered her face with her hands. “That didn’t just happen!”
/>   “I assure you that it did.” Chester pointed a finger at her and fired.

  “I drink to forget…waking up half-naked in a Denny’s parking lot.”

  “Been there and done that, am I right?” Eddie said to Lars, the two slapping hands.

  “And the last answer is, I drink to forget...” Julianna read the final white card. “Being a motherfucking sorcerer.”

  Everyone at the table erupted in laughter, and it went on and on. Several times when it began to wane Eddie looked at Lars or Julianna at Chester, and as if the fuse had been relit, the laughter reignited.

  “The obvious winner is ‘motherfucking sorcerer,’” Julianna stated between attempts to breathe through the laughter. She held up the card, waiting for one of the men to grab it.

  Marilla, whose face was still covered by her hands, pulled one away and extended it.

  Chester turned to her with awe on his face. “Mar, that was you?”

  “Yes, it was,” she said, laying the black card in front of her as her first win.

  Eddie smiled. Maybe he didn’t know everything about his crew. They could surprise him from time to time.

  “Well, I think we’ve proven that you are all a bunch of soulless and demented freaks,” Eddie said, pushing up and away from the table. He looked down affectionately at the crew. “And I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jack Renfro’s Office, Ricky Bobby, Tangki System

  “Is Hatch crazy?” Eddie asked, lounging on the plush leather sofa in Jack’s office.

  Julianna was focused on an aquarium filled with vibrant fish. There was no doubt Felix Castile had had expensive tastes. Every inch of the office Jack had inherited from the evil mastermind reeked of his desire for finer things. The oil paintings of hunting dogs hanging on the walls and the antique vases in the corner weren’t really her style, but she could get used to walking across Persian rugs and having a diffuser with essential oils running in her personal quarters.

  I heard that, Pip announced in her head.

  What, now I’m not allowed to like things?

  I just find it amusing that you would enjoy such creature comforts.

  I’m not a robot, you know? she answered.

  I didn’t, actually. The rumor is that there’s a panel in your back where you can be turned on and off.

  “What he’s asking for is definitely a small wonder,” Jack said, pouring bourbon into a crystal glass from a decanter and handing it to Julianna.

  “I can’t believe this applicant was even on the list for the chief engineer position.” Eddie tapped the file that Hatch had given them the night before in the lounge. They’d brought it straight to Jack the next morning. He had, as usual, already been privy to the applicant Hatch favored. How he knew everything before them was curious.

  “She actually wasn’t,” Jack informed them, filling his own glass. He eyed Eddie’s feet, which were stretched across the long sofa. At the subtle cue Eddie dragged his feet off and sat upright, giving Jack a place to sit on the other end of the couch.

  Julianna set her drink on the side table at the other end of the sofa. “Are you saying that Hatch went and dug up this applicant on his own?”

  Jack nodded, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “This applicant didn’t even surface when I was constructing the pool of potential chief engineers.”

  “Then how did he find her?” Julianna asked.

  “I think I can shine some light on that one,” Ricky Bobby stated.

  “You gave him this person’s information?” Eddie asked.

  “Dr. A’Din Hatcherik asked me to give him the files on the previous chief engineers for this ship,” Ricky Bobby said simply. “There were a total of two.”

  “So Hatch is insane.” Eddie shook his head and drained his glass. “He thinks we should employ the engineer who worked for Felix Castile. Maybe we should just invite the entire traitorous crew back.”

  “Actually, most of Felix’s crew didn’t know about his evil plans,” Jack began. “He compartmentalized most of his projects, assigning bits and pieces to various personnel. I think only his closest advisors were aware of what he was really up to.”

  “I suspect that Dr. A’Din Hatcherik thinks that this person, Ms. Liesel Magner, would be most qualified to be the ship’s engineer because of her familiarity with its inner workings,” Ricky Bobby stated.

  Julianna mused on the notion. “The upgrades are about bringing the ship up to Federation standards, though. How would someone who worked on a ship outside the Federation be the most qualified for that?”

  “Because no one knows how to best accomplish that than the person who has cared for the ship in the past,” Ricky Bobby said.

  Jack rose, setting his glass on the marble end table. “The logic does make sense. I’ve researched Liesel, and she’s actually a good applicant. Felix terminated her after she refused to make an upgrade that she deemed dangerous.”

  Julianna perked up at this news. “What kind of upgrade?”

  Jack looked up, waiting for Ricky Bobby to interject, and on cue the AI said, “The order involved nuclear weapons. The Chief Engineer declined to implement the project.”

  “And Felix fired her,” Eddie stated, sliding his fingers over his stubbled chin.

  “Not just fired her,” Jack declared. “Felix, according to my intel, had her thrown in the Brotherhood jail on Kezza.”

  “Because she refused to put nukes on the ship?” Julianna asked, repulsed. She was starting to like this woman.

  Jack nodded. Pressing his hands together, he tilted his chin to the ceiling. “Ricky Bobby, did Hatch know about this?”

  “Yes, I gave him all the details I had on Liesel Magner,” Ricky Bobby stated. “I’m certain that her thorough knowledge of the ship and her unwillingness to comply with Felix Castile’s request were two of the main reasons Dr. A’Din Hatcherik picked her for the position.”

  “The inmates of the Brotherhood jail on Kezza were all freed after we disbanded them. Liesel would be out now,” Eddie stated.

  Jack pressed his steepled hands to his lips before saying, “I’m afraid it’s not that easy.”

  Eddie laughed. “Why am I not surprised?”

  Jack lifted the crystal decanter and refilled his glass. “Felix, as we’re all aware, held onto his grudges. Maybe he knew the Brotherhood couldn’t hold Liesel for long, or he wanted to ensure that if she was freed she’d still have hardship.”

  “What did he do?” Julianna asked, leaning forward and narrowing her eyes.

  Jack let out a sigh. “Felix, with his many connections, ruined Liesel ’s reputation as an engineer. I checked her previous references, and none of them were willing to speak with me about her.”

  “Felix bought them out, didn’t he?” Eddie asked, raising his large feet and setting them on the center ottoman.

  “Or he threatened them,” Julianna added.

  “And we all know that without anyone to speak for your reputation it’s impossible to get a credible job inside or outside the Federation,” Jack stated.

  Eddie chuckled. “I can’t imagine this Liesel woman trying to get a job with the Federation after working for Felix.”

  “She did stand up to him,” Julianna argued.

  “Eddie’s right though,” Jack began. “Liesel was ruined. She wasn’t going to be applying with the Federation or any other venture.”

  “Then what makes you think we can get her to set foot back on this ship?” Julianna asked. “This is the very place her ruin began. She probably hates it.”

  A sneaky grin flicked across Jack’s mouth. “I have to say, transitioning from ArchAngel to Ricky Bobby has taken some getting used to. However, as a spymaster I very much appreciate working with someone who is a research expert.”

  Julianna observed that Jack didn’t appear as quietly melancholy as he had at their last meeting. He still didn’t have the same pep in his step, but a bit of the old Jack seemed to have re
surfaced. “Do you mean Ricky Bobby helped you?” she asked.

  Jack nodded triumphantly. “I asked him to assist me in finding anything we could use to leverage Liesel ’s assistance.”

  “And I’m guessing that the detective didn’t disappoint,” Eddie spouted.

  “I reviewed video logs that Liesel had recorded about ship projects,” Ricky Bobby began. “I found that in all the logs, in the background or sometimes on her person, there was a ferret.”

  “‘Ferret?’ Is that like a cat?” Eddie asked.

  Jack’s eyes sparkled as he laughed. “Yes, I think they are similar, although I’ve never seen one in person.”

  “How is this cat-thing going to help us?” Julianna asked.

  “Well, we only need to follow a single lead to find answers,” the great spymaster said. He picked up a remote from his desk and clicked it once. The screen behind his desk flickered to life, and a mostly blue planet rotated in the black and star-lit space.

  Julianna’s gaze shifted from the screen to Jack. “What does the planet Kai have to do with this?”

  “Remember Pistris Station on Kai?” Jack asked.

  “How could I forget?” Eddie said with a chuckle. “That was where I stole the Stingray.”

  “Exactly. And with Marilla’s help, I was able to track down a laboratory in Pistris Station where they hold different animals,” Jack stated, the lightness on his face dropping.

  “Don’t tell me they do tests on them?” Julianna asked.

  Jack’s mouth formed a hard line and he looked at the screen where the planet Kai was still rotating. “Chester was able to hack into the laboratory’s records and found that a ferret was transferred to the facility recently. The timeline matches up with Liesel ’s termination.”

  “So Felix threw Liesel in jail and sent her pet to a Trid lab? What a fucker,” Eddie seethed. “Someone should shoot him in the head.”

  “Ha-ha,” Julianna said before returning her attention to Jack. “Are you thinking that we need to go rescue this ferret? That if we have the ferret, Liesel will be more inclined to accept the position?”