Love Battle

by Katrina Kahler

  “That’s what I want! That's what I want!” Zeke said, jumping up and down.

  I grinned, knowing our teams’ first crisis had been avoided.

  Dear Diary: Planet One sounds amazing. Although, for a battle planet it also sounds very peaceful and tranquil.

  Even so, I feel just a wee bit anxious about meeting our competition.

  Meeting our Rivals

  When we landed, Val split herself into six different Vals. Each of the Vals gave us a private tour of our own rooms. Every room had been customized to match our needs. Since MAC couldn’t be activated in this time and place in space, I thought I’d be limited to my standard suit, but the Guardians had placed several black outfits in my closet. They were all like very stylish jumpsuits.

  After relaxing a little to clear my mind, I ventured out into the hallway. There I was met by my teammates. Each of them was dressed similarly to me.

  “We’re twins!!” Zeke shouted.

  “I guess so,” Adam said.

  “I think it’s adorable,” Luna said.

  “It’s logical since we are on the same team,” Jason noted.

  “I am NOT thrilled by this!” Tanya said.

  She pointed at the long legs of her pantsuit. They became short shorts. “Better,” she concluded.

  Val appeared before us. “Oh good, I see you are all ready for the opening banquet. I hope you’re hungry.”

  “I’m always hungry!” Adam said.

  “Me too!” Jason agreed.

  “Do you have fish sticks or regular sticks?” Zeke asked.

  Val smiled. “We have both!”

  Zeke leaped into the air. “Yahoo!” Landing on the floor, he grinned. “This place is awesome. I get to adventure with my girlfriend and best friends and Tanya! Plus, I get to eat!”

  Tanya looked at me and shook her head. “I’m not sure if I’m happy or offended about not being one of his best friends.”

  I shrugged. I actually felt surprisingly good that Zeke considered me a best friend.

  Luna put a consoling hand on Tanya’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Tanya. Zeke thinks the world of you, too.” She smiled. “He’s just afraid that if he mentioned you as a best friend, I might get jealous, which is sweet.”

  Tanya grinned. I must have been frowning as Luna told me. “Oh, don’t fret, Lia. Zeke thinks I would never get jealous of you because he knows how much you like both Adam and Jason.”

  Somehow that kind of did make me feel better.

  “You know Jason and I used to date?” Tanya said.

  That made me feel worse.

  Luna nodded. “Yes, but Zeke said that’s over, and it won’t ever be rekindled. Those were his exact words. I love how he talks.”

  “That’s true,” Tanya said. “Jason and I work better as buddies. Besides, Jason’s heart is elsewhere,” she added looking at me.

  I gulped just a little. That last statement made me feel better and strange at the same time. Tanya was implying that Jason liked me as more than a friend. I liked him as more than a friend too. At least, I thought I did. But then there was Adam. I haven’t known Adam for nearly as long as I’ve known Jason, but still, Adam has always had my back. He’s always been there for me. Plus, being super, he gets me. Also, since Adam is super, I wouldn’t have to be as careful around him as I do a non-super, like Jason. I could fart next to Adam without causing him to pass out. There is something to be said about that!

  Val cleared her throat. “Ladies, can you follow the guys into the banquet hall. After all, it would be nice if your team arrived as one!”

  “Right!” I said, taking Tanya and Luna by the arms and walking with them behind our guys.

  I heard Val in my mind. Maybe, while you are here, you can decide between the two boys. Sometimes a change in environment helps.

  What if I don’t want to decide? I thought back.

  Only you can decide that! Val thought to me.

  We walked into a massive, stadium-like banquet hall. The area seemed to go for miles, and there were tables filled with food. Although there weren’t a lot of other beings around. There were a few more Vals and a lot of server robots, but that was all.

  “So, Val, do all your people look like you?” Luna asked.

  Val nodded.

  “Isn’t that lonely?” Tanya asked.

  Val smiled. “No, there are many versions of me on this planet; all a little different. It’s quite fun actually.”

  Before I could think about that, six young, very tall and beautiful blue ladies came striding over to us.

  Zeke, Adam, and Jason stopped in their tracks and stared at the women.

  “Wow,” Tanya said. “If I were the type to get jealous, I’d be so jealous right now. They all look different, yet they all look stunning.”

  The tallest of the beautiful blue ladies stopped in front of us. She held an open hand out to me. “Hello, I am Dina, leader of the Amazon team.”

  “Do you sell books?” Zeke asked.

  Dina looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “No,” she said flatly. She turned her attention back to me. “I sense you are the leader of this team.”

  “Why do you say that?” I asked.

  “Because I sense what I sense,” she told me.

  “Right, but what makes you sense that I am the leader?” I asked.

  Dina took my hand. She squeezed. “I can smell your power; your strength.”

  I knew Dina was trying to show off her strength to me. But I ignored the power of her grip. “My entire team is strong.”

  Dina motioned to Zeke with her head. “What about the small green one? He does not look powerful at all!”

  Zeke walked up to her. He stuck a finger in her face. “You know, you’re right.” Zeke lowered his finger. “What the heck am I doing here, anyway?”

  I noticed Dina’s subtle grin. She had intentionally singled Zeke out to make him doubt himself.

  Dina looked at Jason. “And you.” She sniffed the air. “You are nothing without your armor.”

  Jason took a step forward. He pointed to his head. “Dina, I have a brain!”

  Dina laughed. “Even lower life forms have a brain. That doesn’t make them special.”

  The five beautiful young women behind Dina all giggled.

  Jason turned red and dropped back.

  Dina turned her attention to Adam. “And you? You’re not like the others. You are less like them than the little green creature.”

  “Hey, that’s me!” Zeke said.

  Dina locked her gaze on Adam. “Ha, you were made in a lab. You are no different than these serving machines!”

  Almost on cue, a serving robot rolled up to us, carrying a tray of canapés. “Would you fine competitors like a pre-meal bite to eat?”

  Zeke jumped at the tray. “OMG! There are sticks here!”

  I kept my attention on Adam. He clenched his fists and scowled. His eyes even turned red.

  “Adam, be calm,” I told him softly. I looked at Dina. “She just wants to get into our heads. And under your skin!”

  Adam nodded. Jason nodded. Zeke nodded too, and said, “Yeah, she’s good at that.”

  “I’m very good at it!” Dina said, lifting her chin proudly.

  I heard Jason, Adam and Zeke sigh. These ladies were very good at what they did. I was determined to show them that we’d be worthy foes. I figured I’d stir Dina up a little.

  “You seem adequate,” I said, yawning. “I’ve had better handshakes from my Grandma Betsy,” I added. I didn’t mention that Grandma Betsy has super strength and can proudly drop a herd of buffalo with a fart. Grandma Betsy is a little different but in a fun way.

  “Ha! I have been going soft on you!” Dina claimed. “I will give you the grip of great grabbing!”

  I felt the pressure on my hand increase. I had to give Dina credit; she did have power.

  I smiled at her. I leaned towards her, putting my face right in her face. Man, she didn’t have a blemish. Her skin seemed so smooth. I
didn’t detect any makeup. Unbelievable! This woman woke up this way in the morning. I turned my attention back to her grip. “You don’t have to go easy on me because I’m a kid,” I told her.

  I noticed Dina grind her teeth a little. Her face turned a little redder — a drop of sweat formed on her forehead. “I haven’t even begun to apply pressure yet,” she said through her teeth.

  “Oh, good,” I grinned. “I certainly don’t feel much.” Looking her in the eyes, I asked. “Are you feeling tired? Perhaps you aren’t eating properly? Do you have a hangnail?”

  I could hear Dina’s teeth grinding; her face turned redder. “I do NOT get tired! I always eat right! And I do not get hangnails!” she huffed.

  I gave her a big grin. “Maybe you need vitamins?” I suggested.

  The other five Amazon women moved in closer; their eyes were on our hands. Dina’s hand started to quiver. I heard the other five gasp.

  Dina looked over her shoulder at them. They all slunk back from her gaze. “Do not fear, I have this!” she insisted through her gritted teeth.

  “Have what?” I asked. “I thought you weren’t really trying. Therefore, there is nothing to have. We are just two girls shaking hands.” I smiled. “Aren’t we?”

  Dina stomped her foot. The sound made all the Vals, robots and beings in the hall, turn towards us. “Stop playing naïve and coy with me, little girl! You know perfectly well, this is a test of strength, power and will!”

  I leaned into her. “In that case…” I said as I squeezed my hand around hers. I watched Dina grind her teeth and squint her eyes. Applying a little more pressure, I forced her down on one knee. “Is my grip up to your standards?” I asked her.

  Gazing up at me, she admitted. “I find it most adequate.”

  “Hmm,” I said slowly. “I haven’t employed any pressure yet since this is just a friendly handshake and a test of strength.” I squeezed just a little harder. “Do you want to continue?” I asked.

  Dina’s eyes popped open. She shook her head. “No. No. Let’s call it a draw.”

  I released her hand. “We’ll call it whatever you like.”

  Dina started to shake the life back into her hand. She smiled at me. “You might think you’ve won, but I’ve actually won. I was just toying with you. I wasn’t using nearly my entire strength. I just wanted you to become overly confident.”

  I crossed my arms. “Don’t worry, Dina. I wasn't using my entire strength either. I lifted my arms to show her. “Look, totally dry.”

  Dina huffed and turned and walked away. The other five perfect looking Amazon ladies followed.

  “Dina, were you really not trying?” one of them whispered to her.

  “Shut up, Tina!” Dina ordered.

  I smiled. Tanya and Luna patted me on the shoulders.

  “You go, girl!” Tanya said.

  “That was impressive,” Luna said.

  Of course, Jason and Adam watched the six beautiful Amazons walk away.

  Val walked over to us. “Let’s start eating!”

  We wandered over to a table overflowing with food. A bunch of brains floated over to us. I figured they had to be another team.

  “Are those food!” Zeke asked, pointing at the brains.

  “I’m pretty sure they’re another team,” Luna said.

  The brains’ voices sounded in our heads. Yes! We are the unit from Planet XYZ-123.

  “Oh, hi,” Zeke said. “Then that means I’m not supposed to eat you.”

  They all replied at once. That is correct!

  “Good, I don’t like brain food,” Zeke said.

  “Neither do I,” Adam said.

  “It looks squishy,” Zeke said.

  We just wish you luck! the brains said.

  I heard in my head, You are going to lose. You are going to lose. You are going to lose. You have no chance here!

  I turned to my team. “Did you guys all hear that?”

  Say what? the brains asked.

  “You mean, the overwhelming dread that we’re going to lose?” Jason said.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Jason said.

  The others nodded.

  “I’ve got this!” Tanya said. She leaned towards the brains. “Stay out of our heads during dinner!” she ordered the brains.

  The brains turned and floated away. I was pretty sure I heard them snickering.

  We sat down at the table. The boys dived right into the food, heaping their plates with pretty much all they could see. Well, except for Zeke who loaded his plate with fish sticks, carrot sticks, and real sticks.

  Looking down the far end of the table, I saw a group of orange and pink blobs. I had met blobs before but never any of that color. Turning to Val, I said, “Those are blobs, right? I’ve battled them before.”

  Val nodded. “Yes, but they are a different species of blobs than the ones you have met previously. These are tricky, and they like to stick to themselves. I don't believe they will bother you until the contest starts.”

  As I stood there talking to Val, I noticed a bunch of clouds coming towards us. Since I counted six, I figured they must have been another team. They floated over to us. They formed faces.

  “Oh cool, they look like cloud emojis,” Luna said.

  “Greetings, human team,” one of the clouds said. “We are the cumulous….”

  “Hey,” Jason said, barely looking up from his plate of food.

  “Nice to meet you,” Adam said, munching away.

  “Yo!” Zeke said.

  “Hello, cumulous,” I said, politely. “I am Lia of Earth. My team and I are honored to be here.”

  The clouds shifted shape a little, and they started to rumble.

  “We just want you to know that it will be nothing personal when we rain down on you!” one of the clouds said.

  Another puffed itself up. “Just business and we aim to win.”

  “Fair enough,” I replied,

  “It’s an honor to meet you,” Luna said.

  “We’re going to kick the cloud dust out of you. You’ll be crying rain!” Tanya said. She looked at me. “I can talk trash too!”

  The clouds smiled. Two of them floated over to Tanya. “We like you. You have a good rumble about you. We truly look forward to facing you on the field of battle.”

  Tanya snickered. She took a celery stick and ate it. Chewing, she told the clouds. “I’m going to blow you guys away!”

  The clouds rumbled with excitement.

  “I think I may be in love!” one the clouds said, as they all floated away from us.

  “They seem different,” Luna said.

  “I kind of liked ‘em,” Tanya said. “They have good taste.”

  Looking around, I counted the Amazons, the gas clouds, the blobs, the brains, and us. That meant five teams. “Where’s the sixth team?” I asked Val.

  “Oh, you are all sitting on them,” Val answered, as if that was an everyday type of thing and as though I shouldn’t be surprised.

  “Excuse me?” I asked.

  One of the chairs said. “I am RM-01!”

  Another said, “I am RM-02!”

  Another said, “I am RM-03!”

  The three chairs under the guys started to wiggle, and a face appeared on the back of Adam’s chair. “I am RM-04!”

  A face appeared on Jason’s chair. “I am RM-05!”

  Jason and Adam each jumped off their chairs. “Oops, sorry dudes,” Jason said.

  “Ditto!” Adam said. “We didn’t realize we were sitting on you!”

  The five RMs changed into humanoid figures. One of them smiled. “That’s okay, we robotic morphers love doing that to other beings.”

  Meanwhile, Zeke stayed in his spot and kept on eating.

  “You could have said something,” I told RM-01.

  “That’s fine; we don’t mind. Plus, we learn a lot by analyzing your behinds!” RM-02 said.

  “Zeke, hon, you’re sitting on one of our competition,” Luna told Z
eke who was lost in a food feasting phase.

  Luna kissed him on the head.

  Zeke stopped eating. He turned, smiling at Luna. “Say, what now?”

  She pointed at the RM-06 posing as a chair. “That’s a robotic morpher!” she said.

  “Oh!” Zeke said. “Glad, I didn’t fart.”

  “Actually, you did, many times,” RM-06 said.

  “Glad, I didn’t fart more!” Zeke said.

  Now that we had met or seen the teams we were competing against it was time to eat up and prepare. We found some chairs that really were chairs and sat down. I sat between Adam and Jason. Luna sat next to Zeke, who smiled at her constantly. Tanya sat at the end of the table next to Adam.

  “So guys, what’s our plan?” I asked.

  Adam thought for a while. “I’m not sure. We don’t know much about the contest yet. I’m sure we’ll be ready for anything.”

  Jason looked around him. He concentrated on the blue Amazons. “From my initial observations, the Amazons are the most aggressive. They’re like a team of super mean girls. They know they’re great and they love rubbing their confidence into others.” Jason smiled at me. “But, Lia, you put Dina in her place.”

  “Thanks!” I grinned.

  “Though you know that she’s going to be mad now. She’s going to want revenge. And that means she’ll get careless,” Jason said slowly. “The brains are all, well, brains. They love playing mind games with us. I don’t think we can beat them at those, but if we can hold off their mental tricks, we can beat them in other ways. The clouds of gas can be flexible and sneaky, but my initial thoughts are that they aren’t a big threat either. The blobs can be tough foes as we’ve learned from the past, but we can handle them. I think the RMs will be the toughest competition. They can adapt to a lot of situations. I think they’re a lot like us. We have magic, time control, power, brains, and Zeke. We can respond to almost any situation, just like them. I think we can do this.”

  “What about the squirrels?” I asked.

  Jason nodded. “They’re the wild card. We know that the squirrels in our dimension are super tricky and smart. We can bet these squirrels are like advanced versions of them. I think we should try to win them over and get them on our side.”