I stood near the glass vestibule, staring at the terrible weather outside as I shrugged on Mel’s raincoat. Once the zipper was up and the hood covered my head, I headed out. The rain pounded on the almost plastic-y material, drumming noise into my ears. Not many people were out and about in weather like this; not only was it a Saturday, but the weather was also shit. The sidewalks were mostly empty.
The walk to the union was a long one. Or maybe it just felt long because of the rain, the dark, ominous grey skies above me, and the way I felt. Nervous. Somehow, somehow I had the feeling the person who had my phone would be one of the two guys I did not want to see. My luck was shitty, this much I knew already. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that my luck was absolutely abysmal.
Turned out, I probably should’ve taken Mel’s rainboots, too. I managed to step in a pretty deep puddle and completely soak my right foot, sock included. And anyone who’s lived knew there was hardly anything worse out there than a wet sock, except maybe stepping on a Lego.
I made it to the union, miraculously keeping my other foot pretty dry. My right foot squished every single time I took a step on it, which was annoying. My hands flipped the hood down, and I unzipped the jacket and folded it over my arms as I headed to the area where the food places were.
Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was eat, but I hadn’t eaten much all week. It was time to snap out of my funk and return to the old me.
Pancakes and some bacon were mine, after swiping my meal card, and I headed into the cafeteria-like area, where rows and rows of tables were. During the week, the tables were packed, hardly an open chair, which was why I usually took my food back to the dorm, if the weather permitted.
Now?
There was hardly a soul in sight. It was kind of nice, having ninety percent of the tables empty.
I sat myself on one of the farthest tables, near the windows so I could gaze outside and contemplate the meaning of life.
Hah. Kidding. I focused on the important thing: the food in front of me.
I wasn’t one of those people who could sit there and eat all ladylike. Etiquette and its very definition had been lost on me. I shoveled food into my mouth just as well as the next guy, chewing with my mouth open and burping every so often. I used to drive my parents mad. It was kind of funny—I’d started eating like that on purpose to annoy them, but eventually it became an ingrained habit.
The pancakes were good, but the bacon was where it’s at. I loved bacon. I loved bacon almost as much as Ash loved her chicken nuggets. There were just some things in life you could kill for, and bacon was one of them. Heaven would be me surrounded by bacon…and other appendages made of meat.
Okay, that was a failed attempt at trying to joke like I used to. It fell about as flat as my pancakes were.
Dicks. I meant I’d be surrounded by bacon and dicks in heaven.
Eh. Shouldn’t be thinking of dicks anyway, considering my recent history with them. Me and dicks lately didn’t mix well. I mean, when I was with Levi, it felt hella good, but there was always a tiny part of me that worried what Mel would do if she found out.
Wish I would’ve known what was going to happen; I could’ve saved myself a lot of trouble.
I let out a sigh, having finished my plate of food. I was about to reach into my pocket to pull out my phone so I could glance at the time, but again, the joke was on me. No phone to be seen, which made me dart my eyes all around the area near me, trying to find a clock hanging on a wall. Totally old-school.
I found one hanging above the side entrance to the union nearest me. A few minutes until ten, and I wondered if whoever it was was going to be late, make me wait.
I didn’t have to wonder for long, because not two seconds later did I see someone walk through the doors the clock was near, someone I didn’t want to see. A person who made my heart skip a beat, my skin heat up, and my inner thighs clench in memory of feeling his cock inside of me.
Levi.
Fucking Levi.
I should’ve known. I should’ve known better than to hope it would be anyone else.
Levi looked…well, good was an understatement. Even with his brown hair dripping wet, he was still jaw-droppingly gorgeous in a way most guys just weren’t. His thick shoulders had an old, worn jean jacket on, the top layer a darker color than the rest due to being wet from the rain. Jeans that looked amazing, hugging every feature on his tall body—and I meant every feature.
His crotch. I meant his crotch. Totally natural for my eyes to drop there, right?
Once he stepped inside, he surveyed the area, spotting me instantly. Meanwhile, I still ogled him, my jaw practically on the floor. No cool Kelsey today. She hightailed it a while ago, apparently.
Levi’s expression turned serious, and he headed straight for me. I crossed my legs, trying to ignore the way my body heated up. God, it was good to see him again, even after our last encounter. Even after what I said and what I did, I still liked seeing him.
Stupid. Fucking stupid.
He took the chair opposite me, sliding into it easily, suave his middle name. Me? My mouth was still agape, and I bet I looked awful. Just when I got my jaw under control, closing it so I didn’t look like a silly little girl in way over her head, I noticed that his cheeks and chin were free of stubble, recently shaved.
Smooth. So smooth.
Thoughts entered my head that most certainly shouldn’t, but I could not stop those thoughts from forming nonetheless: how would that face feel between my legs, that mouth attached to me?
“Kelsey,” Levi spoke my name in a murmur, a chill going down my spine. Mel’s raincoat sat next to me, folded up, and it took everything in me to not grab it, throw it over my shoulders, and run away. Run far, far away from this man.
To say I was hot and cold for him would be an understatement. I didn’t know whether I wanted to fuck his brains out or run for my life to avoid the hold he had on my heart.
“Why did I have the feeling it was going to be you?” I asked, fiddling with the paper plate in front of me. This campus was not privy to the whole recycling thing. Straws and plastic lids were still in abundance.
“Maybe because no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to avoid each other,” Levi offered, setting his hands on the table between us. Those hands…they were capable of a lot of things, more things I shouldn’t be thinking of right now.
Like how they felt traversing my body, caressing every part of me. How strong they could be, forcing my legs open. How firm those wonderful hands could be as he grabbed my wrists and held me in place, as if I’d ever run.
I said nothing, watching as Levi’s back straightened, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out my phone. He set it on the table between us, closer to him than me. If I made any fast moves for it, he’d be able to snatch it up quicker. It was a purposeful placement.
“You want to tell me what your phone was doing outside my house?” Levi posed the question, those blue eyes staring at me as if he already knew the answer. Such a beautiful, entrancing blue. The kind of blue the sky wished it could be, pure and deep.
“I don’t think you’ll believe anything I say,” I spoke dryly, feeling the need to break eye contact and look away. Those eyes…they made me remember too much. All those times we snuck around together, hooking up in the weirdest places because neither one of us wanted to bring the other back to their place.
We’d both hidden things from each other, and I’d made sure the bridges could never be repaired between us.
Levi’s jaw tensed, and even though I wasn’t looking at him, I knew he gazed steadily at me. “Why don’t you try the truth?”
The truth. As if the truth was simple. The truth of it all? It wasn’t simple, and it sure as hell wasn’t easy. The truth was we both fucked up, we both made bad decisions that we probably regretted. I mean, I couldn’t speak on his behalf, but I could speak on mine. I regretted going to Hillcrest. I’d regret it even if I would’ve chosen a random
guy to hook up with, and not my best friend’s crush.
“The truth,” I echoed, faint. I finally drew my stare back to him, momentarily struck by how handsome he was. Why couldn’t Levi be hideous or something? It would make this a hell of a lot easier.
“The truth,” Levi said again. “I know it’s something we both have issues with.”
I shook my head. Levi had no right to sound so…normal after everything. After what he did, what I did, what I said… “I had a nightmare.”
His dark brows lifted. “A nightmare?”
“I dreamt that you saw me with…” I trailed off, biting my bottom lip as I fought with my mind, trying to figure out what to say without sounding absolutely pathetic. “I dreamt that you saw us, okay? And I…I hated it. When I woke up, I needed to see you.”
“But you didn’t see me. You hung around the Sigma Chi house.”
“I know. It wasn’t like I wanted to walk in and see you with anyone,” I muttered. “So I didn’t. I stayed outside. I might’ve, uh, fallen asleep or something, but—” I shrugged. “—that’s it. There’s really not a big story here.”
Levi said nothing for the longest time, studying me with those blue eyes, with that expression that made me even more guilty. “You know there’s no other girl out there for me,” he whispered, strangely serious.
That’s because this whole thing was serious. This was not a laughing matter.
“Yeah, well, you ruined me, I ruined you.” Again, I shrugged as I brought my hands to my lap, fiddling with my fingers under the table so he couldn’t see how nervous he made me. “I guess the ruination was mutual.” Was ruination even a word? I had no idea. Didn’t care.
I, Kelsey Yates, was nervous. Levi made me nervous. Completely flabbergasted me, because never before had any schlub with a schlong made me antsy or anxious, but Levi…Levi did it naturally. Levi did it without trying.
Fuck. I’d really fallen hard for this one, somehow.
“Before I give you your phone back, I want to know something.”
I immediately stopped fiddling with my fingers, flicking my eyes up to his. A shadow lingered there, a desire to know the truth. Somehow, someway, I knew exactly what he was going to ask, even before those sexy lips spoke the words. Something about that night, about what I did.
“Was he a mistake, or just me?” Levi leveled the question as if it was something easy to answer, even easier to say.
The only thing I could do was stare at him. I could lie, but…lying was what got us here in the first place. No, there was no point in lying now. No point in hiding the truth or sugarcoating it. If Levi wanted the truth, he’d get the truth, and in return, I’d get my phone back and never have it leave my sight again.
I’d said some hurtful things to Levi, it was true. Calling him a mistake was…terribly mean, and I honestly didn’t mean it. I’d meant it at the time as an insult, a way to get him to leave me alone, to convince myself that I didn’t feel anything for him.
A lie. It had been a lie, even then.
“If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you don’t have to. I already feel like shit,” I told him, resisting the urge to bite my tongue and stop myself from saying something else I’d regret further down the road. “You know as well as I do that I only said that to try to convince myself to stop seeing you, but was he a mistake? Yeah, yeah he was. And if you’re wondering, I’ve also fucked up my friendship with my best friend because of it, so I don’t need your judgment, or your silly questions, or even that look on your face.”
Levi said nothing, which, as it turned out, was the wrong thing to say. Or, well, not to say.
“I might’ve fucked up my friendship with Ash beyond repair because I hooked up with someone she kind of likes, so please, Levi, don’t add any more shit onto my pile. I’ve already got enough shit for the next decade, at least.”
Levi leaned forward, setting his arms on the table between us. “So you regret it?”
Suddenly I was aware of how quiet the union was, how heavy the air around me felt. Or maybe that was just the weight of his question. “I do, not that it matters much.”
His blue eyes zeroed in on me, dropping to my mouth for only a split-second before he set two fingers on the screen of my phone and slowly slid it over to me, crossing the halfway mark on the table. He did not, however, release his hold on my phone right away. Levi spoke, “And I regret what I did last year.” A pause, a heavy beat before he added, “Not that it matters much.”
Using me and what I did to try to alleviate what he did. Of course. The bastard was still playing the game, even now. It shouldn’t surprise me, but it did.
“Just because we regret them doesn’t mean our mistakes go away,” I muttered. I was slow to reach for my phone, even though two of his fingers still lingered on it, holding it down. Life wasn’t magical; you couldn’t say sorry and have everything miraculously be better. It didn’t work that way.
“I never said they did.”
“Then what do you want, Levi?”
Levi didn’t miss a beat, didn’t hesitate when he said, “I want to hear you call me Blue again.”
Blue? The stupid nickname I’d given him because I hated his real name? That’s what he wanted? I started to smile in spite of myself, though I knew I shouldn’t. I just couldn’t help it. Who knew everything could be solved with a nickname?
“You,” he whispered, the word the softest-spoken syllable ever. The addition to his previous statement made the breath catch in the back of my throat, my heart speed up, and my cheeks flush. “I want you.”
“But—” I stopped myself from saying it, from finding all of the excuses I had to tell this man no. Levi Harlen was no boy; he was the man who had my heart, and he still held it in his hands, as much as I hated to admit.
Levi spoke, “I know there’s a thousand reasons we shouldn’t be together, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. From the moment you walked away, the only thing I could think about was you. How to get you back, how to make you stay, how to make you believe that I would never hurt you.”
Heartfelt. His words were heartfelt, and I…I felt so stupid, but I believed every single one of them.
“I don’t want anyone else touching you,” Levi stated, as if he was the master to my self, my whole being. As if he had every right to tell me who could or couldn’t touch me. “You’re mine, Kelsey, even if you don’t see it yet. Even if you don’t want to be.”
He should be angry, shouldn’t he? He should be telling me off or swearing at me or…something. This, this felt different than I expected it to. This felt so real it was unreal.
“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, and I’m not saying it’s not going to be hard, but…I need you. I need us to try,” Levi said, his fingers finally releasing my phone, allowing me to pull it towards me, cradling it to my chest like a long-lost child.
If I agreed to what Levi said, if I told him yes, I knew things would escalate in a matter of seconds. He and I would find the first empty room, maybe that unisex bathroom I knew was around the corner near the apparel shop, and get to know each other’s bodies again. Hot skin and greedy fingers, we’d never get enough.
It was one reason why I couldn’t say yes. Why I couldn’t agree to what he said.
“What about Mel?” I asked. “What about Dean?” Just the thought of being with Levi again made me excited and giddy, but hesitant because of Mel. I’d kept him from her once; I couldn’t do it again.
And, of course, this was provided that he and I could get past each other’s baggage and mistakes, of which there were many. Neither of us were innocent, but I supposed that was the point. We were both wild, both stubborn, both unwilling to admit that we were wrong. This must’ve been difficult for him; it certainly was for me.
Who knew that when two unstoppable forces met each other, they both just…stopped?
“I’m sorry,” I said, jerking to my feet. My head was spinning. I needed air. I needed to breathe away f
rom him, to cool myself down. “I need to go. I have stuff I need to do. Homework stuff.” Homework stuff. Oh, yeah. I was a regular silver-tongued Don Juan, wasn’t I?
After sliding my phone in my pocket, I quickly tossed on Mel’s raincoat, but not before Levi got to his feet, towering like the tall, sexy, dangerously attractive man he was.
“Wait,” he said, starting to walk after me when I hurried away.
I didn’t want to say anything else, didn’t want to hear anything else. Why couldn’t he understand that? I couldn’t deal with this right now.
A strong hand grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop. Levi’s hand did not loosen on my arm, even as I turned to look at him, so I knew better than to pull away. “Stop running from me,” Levi practically growled out, the sound not unwelcome to my ears.
Not going to lie. I found him immensely attractive when he was being all alpha on me. That night when he tore Grady off me and pinned me against the car? Nothing hotter.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” I told him.
Levi was slow in letting go of my arm, his lips turning into a frown. Never before had I seen a more handsome frown. This man could make anything look sexy. “Please, Kelsey.”
My heart skipped a beat. Levi didn’t seem like the type of man who ever pleaded for anything, let alone a girl. “I need time. I need to think.” It was more than obvious that I couldn’t think straight while around his impressive presence.
Plus, my eyes kept wandering to places they shouldn’t.
Those jeans hugged him really well.
Now it was my turn to beg: “Please, just give me some time. I’m not…I’m not myself right now.” That much he had to have already known. I wasn’t acting like my usual self; even a blind man could see it.
Levi let out a harsh sigh. “Fine, but don’t make me wait forever.” He took a step closer to me, tilting his head, and I felt way too hot and bothered inside the raincoat. It was like a hundred degrees in here or something. Hoo, boy. “I’ll only end up coming for you again.”
A warning. A warning that this, whatever it was, was a tame Levi—which I totally could see.
Making Mistakes: A College Bully Romance (Playing Games Book 2) Page 6
