Stressed!

by Deborah Martin

  “Tony, huh? So, you two getting back together?” I heard a male voice warble the old song Love is in the Air in the background. Tommy definitely needed to keep his day job. He sang off-key. Then I heard an “oomph”, cutting off the song. I assume Cassandra elbowed him.

  “Not immediately,” I admitted. “We don’t want Happy to think he’s the one who got us together and exact whatever payment he does. But we will try again, yes.”

  “Oh, that’s so cool. I know you really like him most of the time.” She giggled and I heard her say, “Quit that!”

  “Listen, go back to your Sunday,” I said. “Tell Tommy I said hello and then stuck my tongue out at him. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hung up.

  Since I’d cleaned the house the day before, I had the entire day to write. Now that I was in the correct frame of mind, I started in on a new book rather than edit. For some reason, the protagonists were a witch and a wizard. If it came out like I thought it would, I was going to be in trouble with Cassandra. Tommy, too. But it was such a fun story!

  I took a break around four. I wanted my nap but had a call to make first: to Bella.

  “What a pleasant surprise to hear from you! How are you, my dear?” she said after I’d identified myself.

  “I’m fine. Well, sort of. I have something you may be able to help with and solving it would benefit you, as well.” I related my problems with Happy and the gist of Uncle Morris’ email.

  “Now that is interesting news!” she said. “Your friend’s uncle may be on to something. I admit that research in the dusty and musty tomes isn’t my thing but I know a lot of folks absolutely adore collecting that sort of knowledge. I’ll call Adamo and a few other people who have had occasion to dislike Happy. If we come up with anything, I’ll let you know.”

  I’d set the wheels in motion with them and would speak with Ev the next morning. Knowing that things were in the works, I easily fell asleep.

  It was still dark when my alarm went off the next morning. It was that time of year, plus the snow was half way up the window. Mr. Owens hadn’t gotten around to shoveling and I knew it was going to be a real climb up my stairs to the sidewalk. Fudge and I went through our normal morning routine and I pulled on old jeans and boots under my skirt for the trudge to the office.

  The city plows were just clearing the side streets, making hills of snow at all the corners. Some shop owners were already out, scraping off the sidewalk in front of their buildings. Tommy was up early, doing the honors in front of the deli. “You’ve got a guest already this morning,” he grinned.

  Man, people before coffee. This day was not starting out well. Mario was waiting outside the office door for me. I couldn’t help but stare and ask, “What are you doing here so early? You’re normally up until the wee hours.”

  “I actually got a decent night’s sleep last night. Ed’s not much of a night owl. I wanted to tell you in person about last night rather than just send in a report. This guy is bizarre!” (Mario was currently following around a new client - one of those rich nobodies.)

  “OK but let me put some coffee on, first. You can probably use it and I definitely need it. I used up all my caffeine energy walking over here.” I made a beeline for the kitchen.

  As soon as we both had a steaming mug in front of us, Mario started in.

  “As you know from my reports, the first few days were normal. All I did was follow him from meeting to meeting. But yesterday he said he needed to go up to Alexandria. Why a commodities broker would need to go up there is beyond me but if that’s what he wanted to do, that’s where we were going.

  “We went directly to the museum and he made a beeline for the Kensington Runestone.”

  He stopped. I know I had a blank look on my face. “The what?” I asked.

  “It’s a slab of sandstone with runes carved on it,” he explained. “It’s really controversial. If what it says is true, Scandinavians came to Minnesota a lot earlier than the history books tell us. Some scholars say it’s genuine, others say it’s a hoax. Anyways, the translation is just about a voyage over here. It’s not magical or anything.

  “Like I was saying, he made a beeline for the runestone and there was a guy standing by it who turned when Ed approached. This guy, whoever he was, positively screamed magic. Most of us shield but he certainly didn’t. They talked for a bit, the guy took out a piece of paper and when the guard wasn’t looking, reached through the protective Plexiglas which even I can’t do. He took a rubbing off the runestone and wrote something else onto the paper, as well. He handed it to Ed who jammed it into a pocket as the guy walked away. We left, too. Two hours each way for a five minute meeting?”

  He shook his head. Yet another idiotic activity he had to put up with from our weird clients. “Naturally, I couldn’t hear what they said but it wasn’t my business anyway. When we got back to the city, Ed told me to take the rest of the day off and he’d see me this morning. That in and of itself is unusual as this guy is scared of his own shadow. I have to damned near tuck him in at night, making sure all the windows are secure and putting a magical lock on the hotel door as I’m leaving. I was curious so just hung out in the hallway outside his door to see if I could pick up anything.

  “I didn’t hear or feel anything until about an hour later when I felt the snap of a spell going off and heard a commotion inside the room. I barged back in to find Ed naked, painted in what I presume was woad and fighting with a spirit who looked just like a Viking. I banished the spirit and then asked Ed just what the hell was going on. He told me to mind my own business and reminded me that he’d already dismissed me for the day. What could I do? I left. I’m supposed to be back at his hotel in an hour.

  “Amy, I’ve guarded some strange folks but a non-magical person who wants to play with spirits takes the cake. And in the nude? I’m not sure what’s going on but I can’t protect someone who dismisses me. What do you think I should do?”

  You see what I have to deal with at work? No wonder I don’t want to quit my day job. The pool of book characters just keeps growing.

  “I’ll tell Ev what you said. Maybe he knows something we don’t. In the meantime, I’d just keep on keepin’ on with him. You’ve only got another three days unless he renews the contract. Unless he makes you too uncomfortable?” I was sure Ev would just snort at this story. He’s undoubtedly seen even weirder in his time, but I couldn’t imagine what that might be.

  Mario shrugged his shoulders, downed the rest of his coffee and left. I wrote myself a note to talk with Ev about it and finally got around to starting my day.

  I was surprised that among the many, there was no message from Ed on the answering machine. Apparently, Mario’s barging in on his play, or whatever it was, wasn’t too big a transgression.

  When Ev and his odor finally drifted into the office, I related what Mario had told me.

  “Aw, crap,” Ev said. “I’ve heard of the guy. He’s an unscrupulous wizard based out of Dallas who preys on non-magical people. I’m not sure how he gets his customers but for a whole bunch of money, he offers spells to fulfill your fantasies. I’m surprised the Wizards’ Council hasn’t come down on him, although I haven’t heard of any nasty outcomes of his spells. Anyways, based on what you said, it sounds like Ed bought one of those spells, wanting to pretend he was a Highlander fighting a Viking invasion. I’ll call Mario. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.”

  I logged onto my home computer and added the wizard to my character notes. I could see him fitting into my current witch/wizard love story quite easily!

  An hour later, I was buried in payroll when I heard a throat clearing. In my peripheral vision, I saw a red suit standing in front of my desk. Without looking up from my work, I said, “What the hell do you want now?” At the same time, I mentally tightened the razor wire shield.

  “Ah, Amy. I had hoped to change your mind regarding Anthony. I can see you have changed your shielding and I think this is an indication that your answer is still �
��no’. I would like to know what I can do to convince you that the two of you would make an excellent couple.”

  “Happy, we’ve been over this too many times. Tony’s species scares me and quite frankly, I like my life the way it is. Go bother someone else. As you can see, I have work to do.”

  “Then I will continue my search for a mate for you in the human community. I bid you a good day.” With that, he dematerialized. I let out the breath I was holding. Ev came into my office.

  “Wow. I heard his voice and came to investigate. Did you just completely get rid of him?” he asked.

  “At least for now, I hope so,” I said. “Hey, while I’m thinking about it …” I told him about Uncle Morris’ idea.

  “If we can find the name and do the spell,” he said, “we’d need to rent a ballroom to hold all the people who are pissed at him. I’ll see if my grandfather can figure out who he is. He’s been around a long time and knows all sorts of people who know all sorts of stuff. I’m surprised no one else has come up with this idea. I think it’s great!

  By the way, I need about a thousand in petty cash. As long as you’ve got the checkbook out, write me a check, huh?”

  I wondered who he had to bribe for what but refrained from asking. I’d find a receipt for something innocuous on my desk the next morning. I dashed off a check and handed it to him.

  “Thanks. I gotta go. I’ll be out of cell phone coverage until tomorrow.”

  Ev and Sally exchanged greetings as they passed each other at the door.

  Chapter 15

  Later that afternoon, Sally patched a call through to me without announcing it. That was strange but I understood as soon as I heard, “Hi, Doll. I couldn’t wait,” on the other end of the line.

  “Happy was in here this morning, trying to fix us up again,” I said. “Are you sure he can’t tell if we talk on the phone?”

  “No, I’m not sure about anything when it comes to demons. But since I wanted to talk with you again, I threw caution to the wind. How’s your day going apart from an unwanted visitor?”

  As much as I’d love to stop everything and just listen to him breathe, I really had work to do. “Tell you what, I’ll call you back when I get home. It’ll be on two cell phones then, instead of one of us on a landline so it might be even safer. Plus I really do need to get some stuff done before the mailman comes.”

  “I have a lunch meeting so I’ll call you. Probably about seven your time, OK? Imagine I’m kissing you goodbye.” I heard nothing but the dial tone on the other end. Bastard. Now I had to work while a vivid memory of his kisses swirled around in my head. I squirmed in my chair, mentally slapped myself upside the head and went back to work.

  I floated out of my office at four. Sally grinned. “I expect a full report tomorrow … how long you talked, what he said, how he sounded.” I grinned back. “Aye, aye, Captain!”

  I’m not one to kiss and tell (much) but suffice it to say that we both had to plug our phones in long before the conversation was finished. Thank goodness for unlimited minutes! I floated once again, this time to bed, where I had very pleasant dreams, thank you.

  Tony had business meetings all over the country for the next week, so our daily conversations were limited to brief recaps of our days. But the following Monday when he called, he was at home and we had time to chat.

  “I know we agreed we weren’t going to meet in person until after the issue with Happy was resolved, but I can’t wait any longer. This Friday is the dark of the moon so I’m perfectly safe and I’ve got an idea.”

  I was growing eager to renew our relationship in person as well, so I said, “I’m listening.”

  “A friend has a cabin up near the Boundary Waters,” he explained. “I’ve borrowed it in the past and I know for a fact he isn’t using it this weekend. This time of year sucks that far north but the cabin is on a road that’s always plowed and it’s nice and snug. The weather forecast is clear, too. Can you rent a car and meet me there Saturday about noon? I have to be in Chicago on Monday but we can at least have a little over a day together.”

  I only had to think for a nano-second. “That sounds wonderful. Do you think we can slide under Happy’s sight by getting together so far out of the way?”

  “Based on what I know and conversations with a couple of other people, he seems to hang out in the cities. At least we’ve never heard of him popping up in the countryside, and all the folks I know on his list are also weres. It’s worth a shot, anyways. I’m willing to take the gamble if you are.”

  Oh, I definitely was willing to gamble. Tony gave me driving directions from the Duluth airport, which is all he knew. I looked at a map online to figure out how to skirt the airport and while we were still on the phone arranged for a rental car for Friday night so I could take off first thing Saturday morning.

  “How do you and cats get along? Can I bring Fudge or should I get the neighbors to look after him?” I asked.

  “Doll, I’m part canine. What do you think? You’d better get the neighbors to help, at least this time. I get along with some cats but I’d prefer to leave the introductions for another time.” That made sense. I thought perhaps Fudge was smart enough to recognize that Tony was OK for a dog-type, but just in case he had other ideas, I didn’t want the weekend spoiled.

  As soon as Tony and I hung up, I called Elinda and asked her to look after Fudge for me. “I’ll be happy to, but don’t you usually take him with when you go up north?”

  Not wanting to spill the beans quite yet, I told a little lie. “I’m not going to the usual place and this new one doesn’t allow pets.” (For all I know, Tony’s friend didn’t like cats so maybe it wasn’t a lie.)

  The next four days passed like four weeks. I didn’t say a word to anyone. I trusted my friends completely but I didn’t want Happy to find out a damned thing … maybe he listened in on lovers’ conversations or something. Both Sally and Cassandra knew something was up and tried to worm it out of me, but I immediately changed the subject. Just like a typical man, Ev was too preoccupied with some problem of his own to notice the change in my demeanor.

  I got the car Friday after work and within an hour of arriving home, I had my overnight bag packed and ready to go. You’re thinking it was full of sexy lingerie, right? Think again. It was November and I was going even farther into the frozen north. Despite Tony’s assurances that the cabin was snug, my nightgown was flannel. He was just going to have to live with it.

  It was about a three hour drive so bright and early Saturday morning, I kissed Fudge goodbye and hit the road. I probably could have left at dark-thirty. I was so excited I didn’t sleep a lot. Once out of the northern ‘burbs, it’s a really pretty drive. Easy, too, since it’s almost all interstate, running through farm land. The fields were blanketed in white, making everything look pristine. I pulled up to the cabin shortly before eleven and there was a car already in the driveway. Smoke wafted from the chimney. Between that, the trees surrounding the cabin and the drifts of snow cozying up to everything, someone should have made a postcard.

  I’d just gotten my bag out of the back seat and shut the car door when the cabin door opened. Tony had a huge grin on his face. He slogged his way down the un-shoveled stairs, took my bag from my hand, threw me over his shoulder and walked back into the cabin. He dropped my bag right inside the door, sat me down and proceeded to kiss my breath away.

  “I’ve been waiting on pins and needles for you to arrive,” he said after he let me go. “I hope the cabin is OK.”

  I looked around. It was straight out of some decorating magazine geared toward the rustic look. The tongue-and-groove walls and ceiling were complimented by a stone fireplace I probably could have stood in had there not been a roaring fire going. It was obviously decorated to a man’s taste in browns and greens, yet it all looked quite comfortable even to a feminine eye. The kitchen was open to the great room and looked to have all the modern conveniences. The big-screen television above the fireplace was on, sh
owing a college football game. The view up to the loft over the kitchen and bath showed that to be the bedroom. What were totally out of place were vases of red roses on just about every flat surface, which explained the interesting scent combination of wood smoke and flowers.

  “How long have you been here and how did you manage to get all the roses inside without any of them freezing?” I asked.

  “I got in a couple of hours ago after overnighting in Duluth. I can’t speak to the roses. Those I had delivered by a florist friend in Grand Marais who, presumably, knows her business. I just called her, asked her if she knew about Mike’s cabin, which she did, and told her I wanted it covered in roses. She did the rest.”

  I kissed him again. “You know, I hate to be all un-romantic with this ambiance, but it’s lunchtime and I’m hungry. Did you do any grocery shopping?”

  Tony walked over to the stove, lifted the lid of a kettle that was simmering there and waved his hand over the top towards me. The smell of chili mingled with the smell of roses.

  “I hope chili and French bread suits. It’s about all I’m good at cooking. I also hope you don’t mind if I leave the television on. I like football and I’m eager to see the second game. Washington is my alma mater and I don’t get to see them play very often.”

  I didn’t mind the television; chili and bread would suit perfectly. We ate our lunch on the sofa instead of at the table, each sitting at one end with our legs intertwined in the middle, heads turned toward the television. Tony’s chili was a little spicy for my palate and he laughed as he tossed me a second napkin to wipe the sweat off my face. “Did you think to pick up any milk at the store?” I asked. “It’s the best thing for knocking spicy heat down to a manageable level.”

  “Sorry. Milk isn’t something I drink on a regular basis. I’ll file it away for future reference, though, as well as remembering to tone down the spices the next time I make you chili.”