Stressed!

by Deborah Martin

  Bella held up her hand. “I’ve got the salt and if Cassandra doesn’t have the root, I know where I can get one on short notice.”

  “Mom’s got the root,” Cassandra said. “She grows them and I know she’s got at least two dried. I’m sure she’ll sacrifice one for the cause.”

  “Good,” Adamo said. “Ragnar, is your English good enough to write the name down phonetically? I don’t want to say it aloud until the ritual.”

  “No. I speak English good but I don’t read or write it.” He looked embarrassed.

  “Then we will have to chance saying it aloud. Cassandra, as this is your house, would you kindly protect this room?”

  She went into the workshop and returned with a handful of salt. She asked Ev and Ragnar to move closer to the table. She closed her eyes for a second then starting at one end, scribed a circle around the table with the salt. As she got back to her starting point, I felt rather than heard a door slamming shut.

  “Thanks,” Adamo inclined his head to her. “OK Ragnar, what’s the name?”

  “Jormundallr.”

  He wrote something down in the notebook he had in front of him. “Ev, is this right?”

  Ev leaned in to look over Adamo’s shoulder. “If you can remember that the ‘er’ you have written is closer to just the letter ‘r’, then yes. You need to sort of swallow the ‘e’ part of it.”

  Adamo grimaced and looked back over his shoulder at Ev. “Tell you what. Just before the ritual, I’ll show this to you again and you can remind me.”

  Ev nodded and moved back from the table a little. He was getting better about remembering that humans had sensitive noses.

  “Good,” Adamo said. “Then Cassandra, if you will kindly break your circle, I think we’re done here. I must say, why no one ever thought to spread the word before now is beyond me. Amy, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This demon has been a thorn in the side of so many people for so many years. And here’s the wording for the invitation and the addresses.” He tore a couple pieces of paper out of his notebook and handed it to me. “Obviously, time is of the essence. The sooner these go out, the better.”

  “I’ll do it first thing tomorrow morning. At least I think I will. Ev, you don’t have anything that can’t wait an hour or two, do you?”

  He shook his head. “You know I don’t get there as early as you do. If there’s nothing in the reports that you have to deal with, then I’d say put off everything else until those are done. And Amy, just to be sure, send everything by FedEx overnight. That way we’ll be sure they’re delivered timely. Now, if you’ll excuse us, my grandfather still isn’t quite over his jet lag so I’m going to take him home. Cassandra, thank you for your hospitality.” Ragnar nodded in agreement.

  Ev and Ragnar got their coats and the blast from keeping the front door open long enough for both of them to squeeze through made me move closer to the fireplace. Adamo and Bella were right on their heels and I wasn’t far behind but I had a question before I left.

  “Cassandra, are you sure Uncle Morris’ spell is going to work?” I didn’t want to be a doubter but I really had no clue about these things.

  “Trust me. His spells are of the tried-and-true variety. Plus, the collective intent of the people who will be gathered will be so powerful, I can’t begin to describe it. Have no worries on that score.

  “Adamo’s read it over,” she added. “I’d think if he wasn’t sure, he would have changed something and I didn’t see him change a thing. Go home so we all can get some sleep. Alarms come early tomorrow!”

  Bright and early Wednesday morning, I was at my desk with a cup of Cassandra’s cappuccino to keep me going until my pot had finished perking. I pulled the address file for the New Year’s party from Sally’s hard drive, added Adamo’s people and merged it into my FedEx database. Then I printed out a little over a hundred invitations that read:

  You are cordially invited to participate in a ritual to banish the demon known in our world as “Happy” on Saturday, the twentieth of January at eight o’clock in the evening. It will be held in the back yard at 2794 Lyndale Avenue South, Minneapolis, Minnesota … please enter through the side gate and dress weather-appropriate.

  This banishment may not last beyond one or two hundred years. If you are unable to attend but wish to be included in the protection this spell will offer to non-humans, please send a taglock (strand of hair, fingernail clipping, skin shed) to the address above. We will use this to link the spell to you and will destroy it after the spell is complete.

  If you have any questions, contact Adamo at 612.555.7468. Please destroy this invitation after reading it, preferably by fire.

  When the clock finally hit 10:00 and I thought she’d be awake and coherent, I called Sally and asked her to stop at the FedEx store on her way in to pick up some more envelopes. When she said she’d just re-stocked the supply, I told her I’d tell her why we needed a lot more when she arrived. I still didn’t trust the telephone.

  I was just finishing up the year-end payroll when Sally walked in with two boxes of FedEx envelopes and another box of the paper we used for labels.

  “So what’s up with a huge mailing?” she asked as she dumped them on the floor next to my desk. She and Jack hadn’t attended Ev’s party and had taken the day before off, so I filled her in on the last couple of days.

  “That is so cool! I can look forward to no more materialization in the office. I’ll make sure Jack is there to lend his strength. He may not be trying to fix me up with anyone but that guy’s just popping in drives me nuts. Not to mention I’d be really happy for both you and Ev.”

  “Thanks, I think,” I replied. “I thought you had to have a vested interest for a spell to work.”

  “You do and Jack does have a vested interest. You’re a friend and Ev’s my employer. This whole situation makes me itch. No worries. He’ll be there to keep me happy, if nothing else.”

  We spent the next hour printing labels, stuffing and then sealing the envelopes. We were almost through when Ev finally walked in the door. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all.

  “So why are you so late and why do you look like hell?” I asked.

  “Bestefar – Grandfather. He was looking tired – he should have been tired. I picked him up from the airport just a couple of hours before last night’s meeting. That was after one in the morning his time. I thought sure he’d conk off when I got him home, but no. He decided it was time to catch up on my life and then I got a lecture on settling down and starting a family. He even had some pictures of girls in his village he thought I ought to meet. It took me another two hours to explain that I was really quite happy with my life the way it was, that I’d settle down eventually but it wouldn’t be with a girl from a podunk town in the middle of nowhere, Norway. The sky was getting light when he finally gave up and went to bed.

  “I was headed that direction when my phone rang. It took me a half hour to calm that damned Sarah [blonde singer] down. Apparently, Aggie [dwarf guard] got into an argument with the drummer in her backup band and broke a couple of his fingers. I had to call Aggie and get his side of the story, then find a healer wizard for the fingers – they’ve got a gig tomorrow night. Finding the wizard wasn’t easy. They’re in some small town in Alabama. I’ve had maybe three hours’ sleep.”

  “You’ve been known not to come into the office at all when you’ve had a bad night. Why is today different?” I couldn’t help but be a little snide.

  “Because I wanted to make sure you got all those invitations out and if there was anything I could do to free you up to do that, I wanted to be here. I’ve got as much riding on this as you do, you know.”

  “We’re done. You can help by hauling all these over to the FedEx office. I can call for pickup but I think it’ll be better if we just take them in. Less expensive, too, you know. So drop this pile off and go home and back to bed. There’s nothing we girls can’t handle.”

  “That sounds wonderful. Gregory probab
ly hasn’t even left, yet. He went into the deli for something when I came upstairs. I’ll get him to help me carry these and we’ll be on our way. Thanks, Amy.”

  He went downstairs and a moment later, came back up with Gregory right behind him, a sandwich held in his mouth. He waved hello, picked up a pile of envelopes with one arm and walked back out, Ev on his heels with the rest. Sally and I were finally back to normal peace, quiet, and breathable air.

  “I’m going to cut out, too,” I told her. “I’ve got an editing deadline looming and I haven’t even looked at the latest proofs. It’s going to be a coffee-instead-of-wine kind of night, I’m afraid.”

  “Go on. I have a feeling now that the holidays are over, it’s going to be quiet for another week or so. If anything comes up that I can’t handle, I’ll call. You’re close by if needed, huh?” She handed me my coat and shooed me out the door.

  I’d gotten about two chapters into my editing when the phone rang. It was Sally.

  “I think you’d better come back to the office,” she said with a tinge of worry in her voice.

  “What’s up?”

  “FedEx just called. The truck that was taking the envelopes to the sorting facility was in an accident. It caught on fire and everything inside, including our invitations, was destroyed.”

  I about lost my lunch. “Oh. Shit. Do we have enough supplies to re-do the mailing or do I need to grab a cab and stop at a store?”

  “We’ve got enough of our stuff,” she answered. “I’ve already started reprinting the invitations and will start on the labels next. FedEx is supposed to drop off some more of their envelopes in a few minutes. I need help getting everything done before they come back at seven to pick up the new batch.”

  I had started pulling my coat on as we were speaking. “I’m on my way,” I said as I ran out the door and up the stairs.

  This was just peachy. Although he, in theory, had no idea about the ritual, something in the back of my mind said Happy had a hand in this. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Nonetheless, it seriously screwed up my evening.

  Sally, true to her word, had the invitations done and labels were starting to spit out of the printer when I burst through the door.

  “Calm down,” she said. “I’ve already called Jack to tell him I’ll be late. With two of us, it won’t take long. As soon as the envelope supply arrives, we can start stuffing.”

  “This just pisses me off,” I growled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Happy had something to do with it.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. Traffic accidents do happen, you know. Either way, we have to re-do it.”

  Just then, a FedEx guy walked in with an armful of envelopes. “Sorry, ladies. If it helps any, you’re not the only ones in this boat. I have more supplies to deliver and I’ll be back, say, in an hour?”

  Sally took the envelopes from him, thanked him and said an hour would be fine.

  “Should we tell Ev?” she asked as she pulled her chair around to the front of her desk so we could work in assembly line fashion.

  “No. They’re still going out tonight and since I keep the books, he won’t know about the extra expense.”

  At that, she grinned. “Oh, there’s no extra expense. FedEx is paying for the pickup and crediting the account for $500 to reimburse us for the supplies and extra work.”

  I smiled back. “How’d you manage that? The pickup I can understand but the credit?”

  “I threw a hissy fit. Told them I’d have to make a special trip to the office supply store and was hourly so you’d have to pay me time and a half to recreate the mailing tonight. They don’t have to know I work part time or am salaried.”

  Wow. She was good. We worked in companionable silence and had just sealed the last envelope when the FedEx guy walked back in. I treated her to dinner at the pub, told her to take a couple of days off and trudged home, yawning. Editing could wait another day.

  Chapter 23

  I shouldn’t have given Sally those days off. Having some moral support would have been nice.

  I was at my desk on Thursday, splitting my focus between answering the phone and trying to get the final proof of my most recent book finished and off to the editor. I wasn’t very successful because the majority of my thoughts were directed toward Saturday night. A throat cleared in front of my desk.

  I tightened the barbed wire shield. “Hello again, pest,” I greeted Happy. I’m sure my voice sounded just like I felt: bored to tears with his efforts and not pleased to see him at all.

  “Good afternoon, Amy. I thought I would pop in [he let out a little chuckle] and see how you and Anthony were getting along. If you aren’t, I’ve found a most delightful man, completely human, I might add, whom I believe you should meet. He shares your love of the arts, has a wonderful intellect and sharp sense of humor.”

  “How many times have I told you that I have no interest in being fixed up with anyone?” I blew up. “Despite what you may think, I was and am quite happy being single. I still haven’t come to any conclusions about Tony because not only does he get all furry once a month but I really like my privacy and solitude – something you apparently are incapable of understanding since you keep popping in without even announcing yourself, much less making an appointment. Therefore, take your completely human man and your part dog man and get out.”

  “Amy, I am disappointed in you. It is part of the human psyche to want to love and be loved, is it not? Why do you resist that part of you? It’s obvious from your writing that is something you want. I am just trying to ensure you are a completely fulfilled person.”

  I had been warned quite awhile back to play dumb as to his real intentions. So, rather than tell him he was full of shit, that all this was for his benefit, I said, “You don’t know me as well as you think you do. I told you to get out and I meant it. If you don’t have anywhere else to go, there’re chairs out in the reception area where you can quietly sit and twiddle your thumbs. I have work to do.”

  Thank goodness for the shielding Cassandra and Tommy had taught me. If Happy could read my mind, he’d have found out about the ritual and just how much energy of my own I was going to direct at getting rid of him. He’d also have figured out that I had been thinking about my relationship with Tony but had yet to come to any conclusions.

  “I will give you a week to think about just how lonely you are, Amy. Then I will be back.” Happy went ‘poof’ once again. I heaved a sigh of relief. I tried to go back to my editing but the focus was completely gone. I headed downstairs.

  “Coffee and chocolate. Lots of it,” I told Tommy even before the door closed behind me.

  “What happened?” he asked as he turned his back to me and toward the espresso machine.

  “Happy just paid me another visit.”

  Cassandra came out from the kitchen just as I got those words out of my mouth.

  “Saturday is only two days away,” she said as she came around the counter and gave me a hug. “You can make it until then.”

  “Oh, I know. It’s just that this whole situation has me on edge and I have to finish this editing by five or I’ll miss my deadline. I’m glad it’s quiet upstairs because I’ve been doing it on Ev’s time. Happy’s visit just threw me all out of whack.”

  “Hopefully, this will help.” Tommy handed me a double espresso and two of his double-fudge-chocolate-chip brownies.

  “Mmmm,” I moaned as I bit into one of the brownies. It was so chocolaty and rich, only a chocoholic could love it. I wanted to devour it and at the same time, take itsy bitsy bites to savor it longer. “What was I saying?” I took another bite and moaned again.

  They both laughed. “Go back and finish your manuscript. I have faith you can get it done.” Cassandra opened the door to the stairs for me. I balanced the plate on top of the cup and walked back upstairs, pausing twice to take another bite of brownie. Tommy knew me well. The first one didn’t even make it all the way back to my desk.

  I did indeed finish the edi
ting and fired the manuscript off to my editor just before 4:30. Since it was a time for celebration, I treated myself to dinner at Cork’s rather than scrounge in my kitchen.

  ***

  The Saturday of the ritual arrived. I woke early, full of nervous energy. I knew there wasn’t anything for me to do but show up. Nonetheless, I felt like I ought to be doing something. So, I cleaned my house from top to bottom, even washing the bathroom rugs. I tried to snuggle down with Fudge for my standard afternoon nap but couldn’t sleep. The mahjong game got another workout.

  It seemed like forever, but it was finally time to head over to Cassandra’s. In case you’ve never visited, January in Minneapolis can be brutally cold or it might be spring-like. You just never know. Thankfully it was the latter so I didn’t look like an Eskimo as I left the house.

  When I went through the gate to the back yard, I was surprised to see it nearly full. Cassandra had placed torches at strategic points to provide a little light but with no moon, there wasn’t much. People were milling around just like they do at a cocktail party. Rhys was in conversation with a woman about his age. I said hello to Ev and his grandfather and turned at a tap on my shoulder. It was Jack.

  “Sally told me what was happening,” he said. “Even if she hadn’t ordered me to be here, I would have come anyway. You’re my friend, too. But this guy is really irritating her, too. So you can be sure my full powers will be added, OK?”

  I felt better. I didn’t want to feel like I’d taken him away from something.

  My watch read shortly after 8:00 when I heard Adamo say, “People, please gather in a circle around what would normally be a bird bath. Leave me about three feet of clearance all the way around.”

  Everyone moved as requested. I made sure I was right at the front. I was shorter than most of the people there and wanted a clear view of what would happen. They’d put a board or something over the bird bath and draped it with a cloth to make a table. Cassandra’s favorite cauldron was in the middle, surrounded by four black candles and a silver dish of some kind.