by J. M. Walker
“Woman, you better remember where we are.” Angel stared at Jay, his thick arms crossed under his chest.
Jay’s cheeks reddened and she was the one to look away first.
Never in my time knowing her would I have imagined her backing down. But Angel was her equal. I could see it. We could all see it. I wanted that. I craved it.
“You good?” Asher muttered, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
The back of my neck burned at the onslaught of stares being passed our way. “Yeah.” I pushed out of his hold, needing to keep the distance before we stirred up any more questions. But it was too late for that, wasn’t it?
Asher didn’t respond, but his penetrating gaze burned a hole in the side of my head.
“I was going to have a club meeting, but Angel insisted on meeting here instead. Apparently, we’re all now in the know of each other’s business.” Jay sighed. “Anyway, some shit is going down. Charles, the fucker that he is, is making it difficult for our suppliers to bring in their stock.”
My head snapped up.
“I thought we were out of that,” Brogan exclaimed. “We were supposed to be done with the illegal shit.”
“There is a reason for it.” Angel stood by Jay’s side.
“But we will find out when the time comes,” Brogan mocked. “Fucking ridiculous.”
“Brogan.” Coby’s voice rang out around the small room. His eyes held her stare, his back straight. The dark, brooding man never backed down from my feisty best friend.
“Fine.” Brogan grabbed her keys, rising from the couch. “I’ll call you later. Be safe.” She gave my hand a squeeze and left the house.
I gaped at the quiet man standing across the room. One use of Brogan’s name and she complied. Since when?
Coby glanced my way, his lips tightening into a thin line. He didn’t say anything. Just gave me a nod and met up with the rest of Vice-One. I had no idea what was going on there but something was off. It wasn’t right.
“We’re doing this so it makes it look like nothing has changed,” Jay explained. “I don’t want anyone thinking that we’re letting our guards down. Creena is now a prospect and has been working at my shop for the past couple of weeks. I trust her but I need us all to feel her out.”
“You know I’m in.” Max linked her arm with Jay’s. “Can we go now? I have a nail appointment."
“Of course you do.” Jay rolled her eyes before they landed back on me. “I’m not a cold heartless bitch. I have my reasons for how I feel, and in time they will all be laid out. Looks like we all have to wait for something, don’t we?”
Staring down at my lap, I let out a sigh. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Good luck. You’re going to need it,” Jay said dryly.
The guys continued talking while the rest of my sisters left the house. Jay’s words hurt. The lack of emotion shown behind them bothered me even though I knew they were true.
Asher sat beside me once everyone left. “Listen, we—”
“I don’t want to talk about what happened earlier.” I couldn’t deal with the thoughts and feelings racing through me on how much I wanted him. “I’m going to bed.” I jogged up the stairs before he could argue and ran into the spare room I was staying in.
Slamming the door closed, I slid to the floor. What was I getting myself into? It had been the same question I asked myself over and over in the last day. Asher was a drug. One little taste and I wanted more.
THERE WAS no fucking way I wanted to pressure Meeka but my lips still tingled from the way she had kissed me. I could feel her warmth wrap around me. Her coming apart in my arms. Damn that woman and what she did to me. It was too soon. Who knew what else would happen and we had the meeting with Charles to worry about. Fuck my life.
It had been hours since Meeka went to bed. I tried to do the same, but all I could do was stare up at the ceiling. Every time night came, I fell back into the nightmares that were my childhood. The constant screams pierced my ears. The sickening sounds of bones crunching, skin slapping against skin, the cries of anguish. I had tried so hard through the years. Counseling. Medication. None of it worked. Unless I spent the night with Meeka, I would never fall asleep.
Rising from my bed, I trudged down the hall to the spare room. Soft sounds of snoring crept through the closed door. Not wanting to wake her, I opened the door gently and padded into the room.
Meeka was curled onto her side, facing away from me. Her small frame was lit by the moonlight peering in through the window.
My fingers itched, tingling with the need to hold her. To wrap myself around her and tell her it would be all right when really, she was the one who always told me that.
Sliding onto the covers, I let out a heavy sigh. A moment of peace washed over me, just like it did as a child.
“Nightmare?”
I turned at the sound of the small voice. “Yeah.”
“Tell me about it.” She faced me, reaching out for my hand.
“I was ten, hiding in my closet.” I closed my fingers around hers. Closing my eyes, I let the nightmare resurface. As much as I didn’t like talking about them, it was needed. Meeka had pulled them out of me at a young age, forcing me to divulge the information I never wanted to tell anyone. “I was holding my teddy bear. Bobby. His name was Bobby. I was a silly kid trying to be a man.” Ice cold fear gripped my spine. “There is a loud knock on the door. It’s him.”
“Asher.”
My eyes snapped open, landing on Meeka’s shadowed face. “Same dream.”
“I know.” She turned onto her stomach. “How do you feel?”
“I feel …” The fear that had burned into my body years before, dissipated slowly. “Better.”
“Do you remember the first time my father caught you in my bedroom?”
I chuckled, thankful for the distraction. “Yeah. I thought he was going to kill me.”
“He would have if I wouldn’t have stopped him.” Meeka giggled, inching closer to me.
“If you come any closer, I’m not going to be held liable for what I do to you.”
Her breath caught. “I just want to touch you. It makes you feel better, but it makes me feel better too.”
“It does?” I brushed a finger down the side of her cheek before pinching her chin.
“Of course. You never asked anything of me. Never expected anything in return after all of those nights I helped you through your nightmares.”
“I’m just lucky your parents were compassionate,” I mumbled.
“You slept on the floor, and I didn’t give them a choice.”
“Why?” I had never asked before but I found the need to know. “Why did you help me? Did you feel sorry for me?” Pity was not something I was accustomed to.
“I helped you because I figured if I could do it for one person, at least I saved them. I may be small and I was even smaller then, but together, we stopped your step-father. That doesn’t happen often.”
Bile rose to my throat at the mere mention of him. The man who destroyed everything. Who took everything from me after my mother had given him so much. A new life. A job. A family. He took advantage of it when she was dying and destroyed my childhood.
“Asher.” Meeka’s soothing voice calmed my nerves.
She had no idea how much she saved me. From hurting myself. From hurting him. Even though I had wanted to. I wanted to end the evil that threatened to destroy my future. That was why I needed to help in any way I could. Jay wanted to help them because of her sister. I, on the other hand, knew what they were going through. I knew how it felt to be held captive, taken away from the innocence as a child.
“I remember thinking as a child that I would never make it to this age. I never imagined I would become a Navy SEAL.” I also never pictured almost fucking my best friend. But I was too tired to think about that conversation that we needed to have.
“But you did make it. Look at you now. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
&nb
sp; Her words, although they meant well, I didn’t believe them. How could I? I was broken as a child, forced to do things that would make the devil himself cringe. But I had no choice. I never had a choice. It was either that or be killed. I often wondered if the latter would have been better.
“I’m serious. You are strong.”
“Go to sleep, Meeka. We have a long day ahead of us.” I turned away from her, curling into myself like that of a newborn baby. My chest constricted, my throat burning with the lack of air. I couldn’t breathe, but I wouldn’t let her know that. I didn’t let anyone know.
Meeka didn’t press. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my waist, holding me against her. It was funny because I was much bigger than her but with her holding me, I felt small. Weak. Broken. Always so damn broken.
“You’re powerful. You’re strong. You inspire me to be a better person. I just wish you could see that about yourself.” Meeka kissed the back of my head before the sounds of her breathing evened out.
Was she right? Could I ever see that about myself? I wasn’t sure.
My eyes grew heavy. Thankful for the calm that Meeka bestowed on me by just her touch, I linked our fingers, finally falling into a blissful sleep.
***
(Meeka)
“Charles will want you to do everything I tell you. You have to kneel at my feet until otherwise directed. Keep your head down and your hands on your thighs at all times. Do not look at anyone unless spoken to.”
Asher directed. I followed. The instructions he had been giving me all morning wore on my nerves but I had to listen in order for the operation to be a success. As soon as Violet was brought to safety, I quit, living on the income I made from working at a small bakery in town instead. I couldn’t deal with secrets anymore. Even though I was pulled into the situation without me knowing, it would be the last one. But as always, something told me that it wouldn’t end until the bastards were caught.
“Get out of your head, Meeka.” Asher cupped my jaw. “I don’t want you daydreaming and miss any instructions. It’s your life we’re talking about.”
“It’s not just mine,” I reminded him.
“We’re doing this for the women who have gone missing. I don’t think you quite understand just what we’re dealing with here.”
“Of course I understand.”
“Do you? Must I remind you what kind of men they are? Do you want me to go into detail about the smell, the sight, that fucking room that evil wouldn’t even step in?” Asher released me, pacing back and forth. “I don’t want to scare you, but if that’s the only way you’ll comply, I will.”
“No, please continue the training,” I looked down at my hands folded in my lap. “I’m sorry.”
“Fine. When we walk into the house tomorrow, if directed, you’ll be expected to follow like a dog. On your knees with a leash around your neck.”
His words sounded around the room, but I could no longer focus on them. I would be treated like an animal. No, they probably got treated better. I would be garbage. Used for one thing and one thing only. How anyone could get off on this, I would never understand. Control and power, it was all they craved. They tortured females because it got them off. Because they could. Even the strong willed would eventually break. They always did.
“I will be there by your side at all times but just in case, you need to follow the demands of anyone who asks them of you,” Asher continued.
“What if I don’t?” I asked, my voice small.
“They’ll hurt you. I can only protect you so much, Hummingbird. I will make it be known that if they touch you in any way, I will end them.” Asher brushed his fingers down my cheek.
I tilted my head.
He placed a soft kiss on my mouth, his lips igniting a burning need. “Be strong. For me.”
“Please don’t leave me tomorrow. Whatever happens. I can only survive if you are there with me. We’re in this together,” I repeated the words I had told him years ago. When we approached his step-father. When we finally went to the police after much convincing on my part. His step-father broke, telling them he needed help, and that messed with Asher’s head more than the abuse. It confused him, and he had never been the same since.
“I would never leave you. They’ll have to pry my cold broken body away before I’ll leave you alone with those fuckers.” He leaned his forehead against mine, his breathing shallow.
“This brings back memories,” I whispered. “Doesn’t it?”
“I’m trying not to let it but yes.”
“I wish we didn’t have to go to Charles’ place. I wish … I wish we were in a different life. Born in a different time.”
“You’re the only family I have,” Asher whispered. It had been so quiet I almost didn’t hear him. Clearing his throat, he rose to his feet. The solemn mood changed. He went from scared to dominating in a matter of seconds, and it threw me off. Ever since he was a child, he had been known to switch off his moods, his emotions. After what he experienced, I couldn’t blame him. It used to bother me at first, but then, I got it.
“What time do we head out tomorrow?” I asked, knowing the conversation was over. It was time to get back into training. All of my years of experience couldn’t prepare me for this. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t ready.
“A car picks us up at—” A phone rang, interrupting the impending conversation. “Shit.” Asher put the cell to his ear. “Yeah.” His gaze met mine, his brows furrowing. “Fine. We also need to talk about some matters that can’t wait. Your men, tell them to stop following me and sitting outside of my house. That’s exactly what I said. You think I don’t know? You clearly have no idea who you are dealing with, Charles. I have a lot of money riding on this. I already put half down, you want the rest? Get your men off my tail.” Asher hung up the phone, closed his eyes, and waited. The phone rang again. “Deal?” He smirked. “Good. Now about tomorrow.” He paced back and forth. “She will not be touched. If anyone, including you, lay a finger on her, I will break every bone, forcing you immobile. The only thing you will be able to do is stare at me while I peel every inch of skin off your broken body.”
I shivered at his dark words.
“You think I’m kidding?” Asher chuckled. “Try me. I don’t care who you are. I will find another way into the house. I don’t need you or those bastards. Good. I’m glad we understand each other.”
I left the room quietly, leaving him alone to talk to that man. He was a person I wanted nothing to do with, but unfortunately, life had a funny way of bringing people together. Asher and I had become closer because of the situation we were thrown in but would we remain the same once everything was done and taken care of. I didn’t know. I couldn’t know. And I refused to worry about it.
“Meeka?”
“I’m tired.” My body hurt, my muscles straining over my bones.
“Sit.” He led me to the couch, sitting us both down. “I could continue telling you all of the rules and what you should do and shouldn’t do. What they will expect. What Charles will do if you don’t listen. But, honestly, that shit doesn’t matter. I need you to trust me.”
“Of course I trust you.” But my heart raced at his words.
“We are going in as one, and we are coming out as one. Whatever you see, whatever you hear, I need you to know that I will erase all of it. I will take it from your mind.”
“You’re scaring me,” I said, my voice shaking. His pleading with me, his eyes darting back and forth, his hands gripping my arms. He was scared.
“Baby, I am only as strong as the woman beside me. You are beside me. Not in front. Not behind. Beside. We are equal.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I shook my head. “It doesn’t make sense.”
He grabbed my hands, rubbing his thumbs back and forth over my knuckles. “I’m not good with words.”
“You’re doing fine,” I encouraged him to continue because I had no idea what was going on at the moment.
“I want more.” He cupped my cheek, leaning his forehead against mine.
“What are you telling me?”
“Nothing,” he shook his head, releasing me. “Forget it.”
“Tell me.”
He rose to his feet, brushing a hand through his hair. “I can’t.”
I gaped, watching him head up the stairs. What the hell just happened?
WHAT WAS that? God, I was such a moron. My words fumbled when I became nervous. I wanted to tell Meeka that I wanted more out of whatever we had. When everything was all said and done. When everyone was safe. I knew I shouldn’t worry about it. It wasn’t the right time, but me being the dumbass that I was, almost let the words slip out of my mouth.
“Asher?”
A light knock sounded on my bedroom door. Ignoring it, I crawled into bed. The cool satin sheets slid over my skin.
Another knock. The knob jiggled, but I had locked it.
Eventually, Meeka went across the hall, shutting the door behind her, and left me in the loud silence of my mind.
What the hell was wrong with me? Was I that desperate that I almost screwed things up with my best friend? I didn’t even know what I wanted. I wasn’t sure what I was about to tell her. The kisses we had shared and the almost fucking part messed with my head. The nightmares were coming on strong, and Meeka was the only person who could calm me. She kept me sane. Made it so I didn’t want to hurt myself or worse. I smiled to myself, remembering the first night I had broken into her bedroom.
“Asher, what are you doing?” Meeka’s wide-eyed stare glared at me. “My dad will kill you.”
“I couldn’t sleep, Hummingbird,” I explained, because that would make everything better.
“So you decided to break into my bedroom?” she cried, taking a step back.
“I’m not breaking in.”
“What do you call it then? Why didn’t you call me? I could have let you in the front door.” Meeka placed her hands on her hips, jutting out her chin.
“Because it’s after midnight, and your dad would have killed me,” I stated, crawling through the window.
