by J. M. Walker
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” She chewed her bottom lip, closing the window behind me.
“Yeah.” Something always happened when my step-father was involved. No one knew what I had been dealing with for the past several years. It felt like a lifetime ago since the first night he touched me. I wasn’t stupid. I needed to tell someone. I knew that. But adults didn’t understand. They always asked what you did to make the other person upset. Implying it was your fault and looking at you with pity. I didn’t want fucking pity. I wanted someone to listen as I told my story.
“What’s going on?” Meeka asked, her question interrupting my thoughts.
I didn’t want to tell her, but she was the only person I could trust. Becoming best friends fast, she knew things about me no one else did.
“Talk to me.” She sat on the bed, patting the spot beside her.
“I don’t need to give your dad more reasons to kill me,” I said, sitting on the floor instead.
“Fine.” She sat across from me, crossing her legs beneath her and waited.
“I …” I took a deep breath. There was no point in delaying the inevitable any longer. I had to tell Meeka. It was the only way I could move on. It was the only way I could deal with the bastard. “I don’t know how to tell you.” I picked at a loose string on my sweatpants. “I don’t want you to judge me.” I was surprised at the words leaving my lips. I wasn’t one to talk. Never had been. But talking to Meeka felt normal. We had known each other since Kindergarten. She was the only person who didn’t deal with my shit.
“Take your time, Asher.” She smiled softly. “I’m not going anywhere.” She stifled a yawn, wrapping her arms around herself.
I took that as my cue. “My step-father hits me.”
The look of shock on her face was soon replaced with her telling me she wasn’t overly surprised. She had said that I had a temper and my step-father was creepy. I made a joke that he didn’t like girls so she had nothing to worry about. That didn’t go over well when she had burst into tears. I never wanted her to cry. I didn’t need her tears. I just wanted someone to talk to that wouldn’t judge me. She never did. But she did become protective. As I was with her. Men were dicks. I knew because I was the same way. Except to her. Never to my Hummingbird.
My body was twitchy, my mind playing over and over again what would happen when we went to see Charles. I prayed he didn’t touch Meeka, because I didn’t know what I would do if he did. I had no self-control when it came to her.
“I want more.” I had said those words, but I had no fucking idea what they meant. Falling in and out of sleep for the next couple of hours, I tossed and turned.
A light knock sounded on the door, jarring me from my confusing thoughts.
Meeka peeked her head into the room. “Are you awake?”
I only stared at her when I remembered that I had unlocked the door after waking up at some point during the night to take a piss. “I am.” I sat up, pulling the blanket higher around my waist. I didn’t need to make things more awkward between us if she knew I was naked. “What’s wrong?”
She chewed her bottom lip, ringing her hands together in front of her. “I couldn’t sleep. Can I join you?”
My dick jumped at that, but being the gentleman that I was, I would have to learn to keep my hands to myself. She had a big enough day ahead of her. She didn’t need me making it worse. “Of course.”
Meeka breathed a sigh of relief and slid onto the bed beside me.
“I’ll sleep on top of the covers like I used to.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to tell her that, but I needed her to know that I wasn’t pressuring her into doing anything she didn’t want to do. Yes, I wanted to devour her endlessly but that would have to wait. Holding her and letting her know that I was there and I wasn’t leaving would have to be enough.
“We almost had sex, Asher. I think we’ve moved past sleeping on top of the covers.” She patted the spot beside her.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded.
Rising from the bed, I pulled on sweat pants but not before I gave her a full view of my backside. My cock twitched at the small gasp that left her. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t proud of the reaction my body caused.
Crawling under the covers beside her, I didn’t give Meeka a chance to hesitate and pulled her against me.
“What are you doing?” Her hand slapped against my bare chest, not pushing but not letting me in, either.
“Shhh … I just want to hold you,” I said into the crook of her neck.
“Why?” Her body relaxed, curling onto her side against me.
“You ease my nightmares, Hummingbird.” I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling the covers up and over us. “Just like you used to.”
“You never held me before,” she whispered.
“That’s because I had to deal with your father but now, I don’t.” I kissed her cheek, letting my lips linger. I craved the day I could make her smell like me. To have the heady scent of sex as the pleasure seeped from her pores.
“I’m scared,” she admitted, stifling a yawn.
“Me too, baby, me too.” I didn’t know what would happen the next. Or the day after that. Or even the day after that. Charles Brian didn’t scare me but what he could do to Meeka did. I didn’t have complete control, and that pissed me off.
“No. I’m really scared. Not just for tomorrow but for right now. This—” she rolled over onto her back “—whatever this is.”
I didn’t want to talk about it. Did I know what was going on? No. I had no fucking idea. But being with Meeka made me feel like I mattered. That after all the shit I went through as a kid, I had a purpose in life.
“No matter what happens tomorrow, know that I am here. Charles won’t touch you. There’s too much money riding on the line for him to take that chance.”
“How can you be sure?” Meeka’s hand grazed down my chest, her fingers brushing over my abs.
My cock twitched, begging for her touch. “I …” I couldn’t focus on anything but her hand. It kept moving lower and lower until it reached the waistband of my pants. At times I thought she was innocent, but at this point, I knew she was distracting herself. “You need to stop doing that.”
“Doing what?” She chewed her bottom lip.
In a quick move, I grabbed her hand and pulled her under me. Spreading her legs roughly, I knelt between her knees and ground my hips into hers.
Her back arched, a small gasp leaving her mouth.
“Your innocence makes me want to fucking rip you open,” I snarled, pulling her arms above her head. “The way you look at me. The way you say my name. Fuck, Meeka.” Grazing my teeth down the side of her neck, I nipped and sucked. This woman was driving me fucking wild. And I didn’t know what would happen if I couldn’t control my feelings. I didn’t want to hurt her but the passion ensnaring around us shot straight to my dick.
“I’m not … I’m not experienced like you. Doesn’t mean I’m innocent,” she panted, wrapping her legs around my hips.
“Trust me, baby.” I cupped her jaw. “Compared to me, you’re innocent as fuck.”
“Just—”
“Quiet,” I snapped. “The only sounds I want leaving your mouth are cries of pleasure or my fucking name. You got me?”
She nodded quickly.
“Good girl.” Lowering my mouth to hers, I sucked her bottom lip between my teeth, giving it a gentle nip. “By the way, I’m not fucking you tonight.”
***
(Meeka)
To hear those words, I never actually thought I’d be disappointed. Asher was teasing me. He was showing me what he was capable of just by speaking. But I still had to ask. “Why not?”
“As much as I want to—” Asher sat back on his haunches, rubbing his hands down my legs “–I need some control because as soon as I get inside you, all bets are fucking off.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“Oh, Hummingbird.�
�� He smirked. “You really have no idea what you’re in for.”
“If you’re trying to make me nervous, it’s not working.” I struggled beneath him, attempting to move out from under him. If he wanted to be a dick, by all means but I wasn’t going to be a part of it. I pushed him one last time when I was flipped over onto my stomach.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, his voice rough. He pinned me beneath him, grinding his pelvis into my ass.
I moaned, holding onto his arm wrapped around my shoulders. “Asher.”
“Fuck, I can’t. God, Meeka, you’re going to destroy me.” His hips moved, his erection pressing into the flesh of my rear.
My lower body matched his movements. We were fully clothed but the scolding heat spread over us. “I want you,” I whispered.
“I … Shit.” His hot breath scorched my ear. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” Spreading my legs wide, I hinted. I didn’t care how; all I knew was that I needed him. I needed him to show me what it was truly like to be fucked. I didn’t want slow. I wanted to forget. Everything. “Please,” I cried out, shaking beneath him. “Fuck me.”
Releasing me, Asher reached into his bedside table and pulled out a condom. “I’m not going to last long,” he panted, tugging down my shorts.
“I don’t care.” I arched my hips, ready, sore, wet for the man hovering over me.
The phone rang. And rang. And rang.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
“Don’t stop. Please.” The phone could wait.
“I—”
It rang again. And again.
“Fuck my life,” Asher growled and reached for the phone. “This had better be a fucking emergen—Coby, shit. Sorry, brother. What’s wrong?”
My heart jumped. I stretched out my arms beneath the pillow.
“Thanks, my man.” Asher tossed his phone onto the end table
I frowned. “What did he want?”
Asher laid down beside me, righting his pants. “He told me to have fun tonight because tomorrow is going to fucking suck and who knows how we’ll be when it’s done.”
“Really? He said that?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Pretty much.”
The silence wore on. The passion still wrapped around us. The mood was done but definitely not forgotten.
“Maybe this isn’t meant to be,” I stated, breaking the silence.
“Oh, it’s meant to be, Hummingbird.” He kissed me hard on the mouth. “We just haven’t found the perfect moment.”
“This doesn’t make things awkward?”
“Does it make it awkward for you?” He searched my face, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip.
“Not at all.” But his words still struck a chord with me. He didn’t want to hurt me. I didn’t want him to hurt me, either, but something told me that he meant more by that then he led on. Did he mean emotionally or physically? Was he into something that I had no idea of? Not that I would know anyway. Meeka, tangent. God, the guy made me nervous. Well, that was new.
“Good.” He pulled my shorts back up to my waist. “Because I will get inside you.”
“We keep getting interrupted.” I curled onto my side, allowing my eyes to flutter closed.
“It’ll happen, baby.” He wrapped himself around me, holding me close.
A part of me went along with the charade because we kept getting interrupted. But what happened when we finally were able to have sex? Would it change things? My dark and dirty secrets would be laid out for him to see. It was almost worse than being naked.
“Sleep, Hummingbird.” He brushed his nose into the crook of my neck, inhaling deep. “I’ll leave you alone. For now.”
WE HAD been silent since we woke up only a couple hours before. Going about our morning routine like nothing was about to happen; instead, we would be meeting up with Charles Brian. The epitome of evil who I wanted nothing to do with. Because finding the girls meant everything to me, I complied. Which I had been doing a lot of lately.
Asher suggested I wear something light and feminine. I would have preferred to wear a hazmat suit but understood what he was saying. So I threw on a floor-length, thin, maxi dress. It was black, slimming, and covered everything it needed to.
As I was pulling my thick hair up into a messy bun, I slipped on my flip flops. The back of my neck burned, and I knew Asher was standing in the doorway watching me. “I didn’t know what to wear.”
“You look beautiful,” he ground out. Something flashed behind his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, smoothing my hands down the front of my dress.
Asher closed the distance between us and pulled me against him. Capturing my mouth in a hard bruising kiss, he wrapped his arms around me.
The kiss spoke so many words that neither of us could say.
His tongue slid between my lips, caressing, needing. The longer we kissed, the more desperate it became. It was rough, like he was taking ownership of his property. But I wasn’t his, and I wasn’t property. I wasn’t an item to be tossed around and sold. These bastards took what they wanted and broke their toys until they were molded into what they wanted.
“Get out of your head, baby,” Asher muttered against my mouth, pushing me back until I hit the edge of the bed. “Please, for me.”
“I can’t. I can’t do this.” But I couldn’t stop kissing him. He felt so good. It felt natural. Real. Normal. It was everything I wanted it to be. Everything I needed in a man. Asher made me feel alive.
“I need you to know that you’re safe. You’re mine, Hummingbird.” His mouth trailed down the length of my jaw, his hands cupping my rear.
I moaned, sliding my hands around his neck and waited. For him to take control. For him to shred my soul and piece it back together. I craved his touch and I knew it was only the beginning.
“You’re mine,” he repeated, laying me back onto the bed.
My heart stuttered. I broke the kiss, staring up at him. “Am I only yours right now?” I didn’t want to ruin the moment but I knew how he was. How he had treated women in the past. He was bored. And I couldn’t help but wonder if he would become bored with me.
“Please don’t ruin this.” He went to kiss me again but I pushed against his chest.
“Tell me. I need to know what is going on in your head.” I lifted my chin, waiting.
“I want to fuck you. That’s it. Right now, I’m stressed beyond belief, and I want to use your body to make me feel better. Is that what you wanted to hear? You want to hear how much your tight body can make me feel fucking normal?”
“Asher.”
“Forget it.” He shoved off of me and sat on the edge of the bed, dropping his head in his hands. “I’ve never had any problems fucking a woman before, but you, you mess with my head. I can’t think straight. The only thing I worry about is getting inside of you.”
I sat beside him, curling my hands around his arm. My heart raced, the back of my neck burning at his words. “I …”
“You don’t know what to say.” He sighed. “Of course. The time I actually speak and have no problems saying anything, you can’t say a fucking thing.”
“What do you want from me? This whole thing between us is confusing and it couldn’t happen at a worse time.”
“Why the hell would you say that? It’s happening at a time where we need each other. It’s not like we’re strangers, Meeka. I have known you forever and I knew you at a time where I needed you most.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I mumbled.
“God, you have no idea, do you?” He turned to me, pinching my chin. “You helped me when I had no one else.” He shook his head.
“I want you to fuck me.” When the words left my mouth, I regretted them instantly. The look of shock on Asher’s face made me second guess my thoughts. I had never—
A hot mouth crashed to mine. A hard body forced me back onto the bed. All feelings disappeared as we focused on th
e here and now.
Asher shoved my dress to my hips and ripped open the fly of his jeans. Rough hands bruised my skin, leaving marks on my body where I knew I would see them for days after. I didn’t care. He could cover me in his touch, and I would forever be grateful.
“I’m going to destroy you.”
“Yes,” I begged against his mouth. “Do it.”
He growled, spreading my legs. Breaking the kiss, he pulled the top of my dress down, exposing my breasts. Latching onto my nipple, he sucked and pulled until I was writhing beneath him.
I moaned, digging my fingers into his hair. My skin burned. My body hot and on fire.
With rough and needy hands, he pulled my arms above my head, holding me in place. His eyes roamed down the length of my body, his desire for me searing my skin. Without saying a word, he pushed between my legs, spreading them as wide as possible.
My chest heaved with ragged breath. The need to have inside of me, consumed my every waking thought. My nerve endings tingled with desire for the man hovering me. “Please,” I panted.
A wicked smirk spread on his lips. “I’m going to fuck you so good, Hummingbird.”
His words turned me on. His body made me melt. His voice made me lose control.
Pulling a condom from his pocket, he sheathed himself and lined up his hard cock to the entrance of my body. Beating the heavy flesh against my mound, he pushed between my folds.
I moaned, writhing and tilting my hips. His cock moved over my swollen clit, an explosion of desire spreading through my body.
In a quick move, he thrust into my body, not giving me a chance to get used to his size.
I cried out, pain and pleasure mixing as one as his hips thrust hard and deep. “Oh, God.”
“That’s right, baby. Feel my cock inside your tight heat.” Holding my arms above my head, his mouth moved over my collar bone. His teeth grazed my skin, nipping and biting a path in their wake. “You’re so fucking hot.”
No words left my mouth. I couldn’t form a coherent sentence for fear it would come out a jumbled mess. Digging my heels into his rear, I pushed him into me as far as my body would allow.
