Seeds of April

by Celia Scott

  Philippa gave a strangled sob. 'Don't, Damon! I didn't realise…'

  'I think we can help her, Pippa.' His compassion threatened to break her flimsy control. 'I know a first-rate therapist back in London. When she's calmer we'll persuade her to see him. She's young, she can be helped, I'm sure. Given time…'

  Philippa interrupted, 'That's kind of you, but I can't ask you to put yourself out for Martha… nor for me. I think perhaps it would be better if I left too. I don't think it's right for me to stay under your roof any more. Perhaps Athena can stay with her friends for the rest of the summer. I'll leave with Martha and…' She didn't trust herself to say any more.

  'Oh no, you don't, Pippa,' he said gently. 'Not so fast! He stood, barring her way. 'I'm not in the habit of listening at doors, but I couldn't help overhearing you and Martha.' He put his hand under her chin, tilting her face up, gazing deep into her troubled amber eyes. 'You said you loved me, Pippa. Is it true?' Her long lashes drooped and the blood slowly rose to her cheeks. 'The truth, now, Pippa. Do you love me?'

  'Yes… yes,' she breathed, 'I'm afraid I do.'

  'Afraid?' He let her go.

  'I know you don't want that, Damon,' she explained, 'it wasn't part of our agreement.'

  'Oh, Pippa… Pippa darling! Is that what you think?'

  'No emotional entanglements,' she said, 'you spelled it out, chapter and verse.'

  'God, I'm such a fool!' Damon muttered vehemently. 'I said that because I thought it was what you wanted. I've been emotionally entangled since I first laid eyes on you.'

  'Wh-what?'

  'Way back in April… in England… I kept having dinner parties, giving the servants the day off so you would come and cook for me. They've never had so many holidays!'

  'Why didn't you say anything then?' Philippa could feel joy stirring in her like a fountain.

  'Because you didn't like me at all. If I'd told you how I felt you'd never have come back.' He took hold of her unresisting hand. 'You didn't like me at first, did you, Pippa? Be honest.'

  'Well, not at first. But I grew to like you quite soon.' She smiled up at him.

  He turned away from her and gave a snort of disbelief. 'I'm a complete fool, my darling!' he told her. 'The time I've wasted! I devised this whole scheme because I wanted to get you all to myself. I hoped you'd learn to love me in time… you know… "seeds Of April".' She looked at him uncomprehendingly. 'The poem by Browning I quoted to you once… "You'll love me yet!… From seeds of April's sowing".'

  'Then that story about needing a wife, as a chaperone for Athena,' Philippa said, 'wasn't that true?'

  'Oh yes, that was true. But the business arrangement part, that was my own plan. I thought if I didn't scare you away by telling you how much I loved you, you'd learn to care for me in time. Sometimes I thought I was beginning to succeed, but then you'd draw away from me and become cold again.'

  'I didn't want to give myself away,' she admitted.

  'In Athens I had hope.' He smiled, 'You seemed jealous of Thalia.'

  'I was jealous,' she confessed. 'You spent the whole evening talking to her.'

  'Talking about you. Telling her how in love I was,' he explained. 'Poor Thalia, I think she was thoroughly bored!' He cupped her face in his strong hands. 'I'm not dreaming, my dearest darling? You do love me?'

  'I love you,' she said huskily. 'I'll never love anyone else.'

  He kissed her then, folding his arms around her, holding her as if he would never let her go. When the kiss ended he still cradled her in his arms. 'Why did you reject me in Roumeli, Pippa? he whispered.

  'Oh, Damon!' she clung close to him. 'Because I thought you didn't love me. I couldn't give myself to you without love—it would have hurt too much. And then you were so angry…' She shivered at the memory.

  He groaned with pain. 'My darling, can you ever forgive me? I wanted you so desperately. For weeks I'd longed to take you in my arms, possess you. When you pushed me away, I thought you meant that you could never love me, that you found me unattractive. I was in despair… in torment… and so I lashed out at you.' His eyes were almost black with misery. 'I have a terrible temper, Pippa, and when I lose control…'

  She traced the line of his jaw with her finger and felt him tremble at her touch. 'It doesn't matter now, darling. As long as you love me nothing else matters.' She kissed his cheek and felt his breath quicken. 'If only you'd told me you loved me that night in Roumeli!'

  'I was afraid of scaring you away.'

  She gave a smothered cry, half laugh, half sob, and burrowed her head into his shoulder. Damon kissed the silky on top of her head.

  'When I finish my work here,' he said, 'we'll go on our honeymoon. Let's take the yacht and sail through the islands. Would you like that? And we'll make up for all the time we've wasted, eh?' He gently rained a trail of kisses down her cheek until his lips rested in the hollow of her throat.

  Philippa sighed with pleasure. 'And after the honeymoon, darling, where do we go?'

  'Home to England, to our house in Wimbledon.' He hugged her close and there was laughter in his voice.

  'My darling, you only know the kitchen and dining room of your new home. I hope you'll like the rest of it?'

  'I'll love it,' she assured him, but he was suddenly serious.

  'What about your work, Pippa? Won't you miss it? Miss being independent? Miss the challenge of running your own business?'

  She eased herself out of his embrace and thought for a moment before replying. 'I don't know, Damon,' she said. 'Right now I'm too full of happiness to answer you. But I do love my work. I find cooking so… creative. I shall miss that.'

  He reached for her hands and held them in his strong ones. 'I'd go into mourning if you never cooked again, my love!' he told her. 'Don't forget I'm your biggest fan. But if you're unhappy without your work we'll work something out, I promise. I'd never insist you give up something important to you, Pippa. Just remember that you have a challenging role to play in my life, dearest. I need you as my hostess, as my partner, and I want you for my companion. I want you to be free to travel with me. And when the children come…'

  'Ah yes—the children.' Philippa caught her breath with delight.

  'Then we'll both travel less,' he promised.

  Philippa was reminded of Athena back in Athens babbling happily about future 'brothers and sisters'.

  'Damon,' she asked, 'if she wanted to, could Athena come and live with us in London?'

  'Would you like that, Pippa? To have Athena with us?'

  'Yes, I would,' she said. 'I've grown to love her dearly.'

  His eyes glittered suspiciously. He lifted her hands to his lips and tenderly kissed them. 'My dearest love,' he murmured hoarsely, 'my dearest love.'

  He enfolded her in his arms again, and they stood silently for a long while; then with one of his mercurial changes of mood he thrust her away and looked at his watch.

  'Pippa! We've just got time,' he exclaimed.

  'Time?' she queried.

  'To catch the boat to Roumeli. Let's go back now, darling, let's wipe out that black memory for ever.'

  She nodded happily. She would follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked her.

  Late that night Philippa lay beside her husband in the taverna in Roumeli. Moonlight flooded the whitewashed room, illuminating the simple furnishings.

  Damon leaned over her, stroking her honey-blonde hair which streamed over the pillow.

  'My lovely, passionate wife,' he murmured, kissing the tender hollow beneath her collar bone.

  'Damon,' she gave a throaty chuckle, 'when we get back… let's tear up the contract.'

  He pulled her into his arms, and with a happy sigh she arched against him, responding to him joyfully, knowing the time for pretence was over, and she need never hide her love from him again.

 

 

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