I kept repeating the same thing over and over in my head, but I still didn’t want to believe it.
I have lost my Father! I have lost my Father… my Father is dead… all is lost…
General Roh raised his right hand again and wiped his tears with the other.
“Go home,” he said, his voice still thick and unusual, but no longer trembling. “Go home… go home and mourn our departed Father… today it doesn’t matter what crimes you have committed… how you, his sons and daughters, have betrayed him… he was your Father as well… and now he’s gone. Go home and mourn… and we will do the same.” Before breaking into tears again, the Demon of Yodok yelled, “DISMISSED!” and rushed through the parting crowd back to the Oversight, closely followed by the other officers, who were also sobbing like little children.
As soon as the officers were gone, complete chaos broke out. But it was a different chaos from before. Crying guards from all sides started shooting up in the air. Others pushed and kicked any prisoner they could lay their hands on while screaming at them like rabid dogs.
“DIDN’T YOU HEAR THE GENERAL? GO HOME! GO! ALL OF YOU WORTHLESS VERMIN, GO HOME… BEFORE WE KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU… MOVE IT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU TRAITOR SCUM… YOU KILLED HIM…! YOU’RE THE REASON HE’S DEAD…! MOVE IT!”
Panic struck the crowd instantly. Everybody started running and screaming. This time out of fear. To the left and right, people got knocked down and trampled. There were more gunshots fired. I prayed they were still aimed at the clouds. I grabbed Nari’s hand and ran. We ran as fast as we could… or rather as fast as was possible amid this stampeding horde of the Strayed.
Before we knew it, we had reached the main road. The panic extended all the way down to the Village of the Strayed. Rampant guards ran around beating up anyone they could get their hands on, so I dragged Nari out from the stampeding crowd and sprinted down the road by the School of Juche.
“It’s not safe there,” I panted. “I know another way.”
She didn’t protest, just followed me.
We went through the thorny bushes and leftover barbed wire in the narrow passages at the end of the long barracks in the Rose Garden. My clothes got torn, and so did my skin. I felt blood running down my leg, but there was no time to stop, or even to slow down. I heard Nari scream behind me - she must have cut herself too - but we continued running… relentlessly.
When we finally emerged on our mud-crusted street in the Orchid Garden, we were met by full-blown chaos there as well. But at least I didn’t see any guards, and the gunshots being fired seemed distant. We sprinted against the fierce current of people and managed to reach our house safely without being trampled down. Once inside, we closed the door behind us and immediately collapsed to the ground. Young Il and Sun Hee were not here yet.
Are they still out there in that madness? I hope they haven’t gotten hurt…
Half-lying against the wall with my lungs painfully gasping for air, the news General Roh had conveyed to us hit me once more with full impact.
Could it really be true? Or… was it all just a cruel joke… some new way for them to torture us? It must be that! My whole life I have known for a fact that the Great General is immortal… that he would watch over and protect Choson from all of its enemies forever… I have felt it… it was even in our textbooks at school… I mean, isn’t that why we call him our ‘eternal’ Father… how can someone who is eternal die? And if he is gone… does it mean it was all a lie? Then… what other truths are lies they have told us? No… it can’t be like that…
Suddenly, all thoughts disappeared from my head. All that was left was a void. A big, terrifying, and painful void. The next moment, the dam burst again and I broke down crying on my quilt. My whole body was once more shaking and convulsing. I could hardly breathe. With trembling hands, I grabbed the Great General pin from under my rag pillow and clinched it hard in my white fist. It cut deep into my flesh, but the only thing I felt was the pain as the pin became smeared with my warm sticky blood. I felt somebody embracing me from behind. It must have been Nari, but I was barely conscious enough to reflect on it.
In a flash, Su Mi appeared before my eyes… how I wanted to be with her now… to be comforted in her arms… to drink pomegranate liquor with her…
Then all went black.
When I woke up, my whole family was there. They were eating in silence next to the somber fire. And it wasn’t only the fire that was somber… it was like the whole world had been veiled in a somber gloom.
“Mom? Dad?” I said. Tears once again streamed down my cheeks.
Mom rushed over to hug me.
“There, there,” she said. “It’s all over now.”
Dad also came over and cautiously put his arms around me. Nari joined in as well. I still cried, but it felt better being in their arms. I couldn’t see them, but I knew they were crying too. We had all lost our Father today.
“I can’t believe it,” I sobbed. “I just… I just can’t believe it.”
“I know, honey,” mom stroked my hair. Her voice was stable and calm like I remembered it from long before.
“We’re all gonna die here, aren’t we?” I sobbed.
“Shhhh,” mom comforted me.
CHAPTER 12
The next morning, I woke up, still holding the Great General pin firm in my hand. Its metal surface felt warm and strangely rugged. When I tried to put it down I noticed it was stuck to my skin, glued in place by dry clotted blood. It seemed fitting in a way.
I prepared breakfast together with Nari, using the extra portions we were still receiving. Our parents sat on the side of the room leaning against the wall. None of us spoke. We were all processing the immense grief in our hearts, although in all honesty, mom and dad looked more worried than sad.
To my surprise, Nari shed some tears while we were eating. I guessed I had been too busy resenting her these past years to see her latent love for our Father - the Great General. Seeing her tears behind her crooked glasses made my eyes well up as well. I still couldn’t seem to bring myself to fully grasp he was gone. Of course, all men die - that’s a fact of life. But the Great General was more than a man. He was our eternal Father. It just didn’t make any sense.
And if the eternal protector of Choson is dead… who will take care of us now? How could anyone ever replace him?
As those thoughts swirled around in my head, the door suddenly opened with a bang, scaring me half to death.
“Hurry, everybody must gather in the courtyard… right now,” a completely red-faced Chul panted heavily at us. “GO! You can’t be late!”
He then disappeared just as suddenly as he had appeared.
As usual, the hatred flooded my body at the mere thought of Chul - let alone the sight of him - but I knew I had to push it down… for now. I was surprised by how easy it was. Maybe it was the loss of our Father taking too much of my energy and attention. But it wasn’t only that. Now that I had the plan in my head that started taking shape since we were assigned to work at the watermill, I somehow found it easier to manage my anger. I knew he would soon pay for what he had done. The day of reckoning would come and there would be no escape.
Mom and dad exchanged worried looks from the other side of the fire. There was not a trace of anger on their faces - only fear and concern - and I suddenly remembered that they still didn’t know who the monster was that had violated their favorite daughter.
Should I tell them? They deserve to know… but what if they do something stupid, like assaulting Chul, and end up in the Center of Truth… and maybe even up on Cemetery Hill?
In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to risk making Nari an orphan on top of everything else. We gulped down the soup in our bowls and the last few grains of rice - which was sweet enough to counteract the vile aftertaste - and rushed out to the crowded street.
The sky was dark and gray, and I felt tiny drops of rain drizzling down on my face. The main road was completely packed with peop
le. All had the same faces filled with distress and panic. All were running in the direction of the Oversight complex.
We started running as well, but I had to pace myself not to leave Nari behind. Mom and dad did the same. I had the feeling Nari had become even weaker than usual these past few days. It was understandable considering the circumstances, but I couldn’t help worrying that it was her heart condition acting up again.
No… she had the surgery… her heart must be fine now…
We were among the last people to arrive at the Bloodyard, so we took place far in the back of the crowd. I could just barely see over the mass of people when I stood on my toes, but for Nari, there was no point to even try.
I let my gaze sweep over the crowd. There was something off. Something different from yesterday. It was something warm and reassuring breaking through the vile stench of the dirty traitors surrounding us, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Then I saw it.
It was right in the middle of the Bloodyard, and it took my breath away.
At first, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, but after blinking several times, it was still there. The large concrete wall behind the execution poles had been painted, covering its entire surface, with breath-taking realism and stunning colors. Like a warm ray of sunshine, the infinitely kind face of our now-departed Father - the Great General beamed at the dirt-gray mass of worthless traitors before him. He beamed at the lowlife scum who had betrayed him and who had strayed from the righteous path. And he beamed at me… his most devoted and loyal subject.
Father!
Tears streamed from my eyes as pain pulsated from my heart. Nari pulled my sleeve and asked me what was going on, but my mouth had lost its ability to form words.
Same as yesterday, General Roh and Colonel Wan stood in front of the stage with the wooden execution poles. Behind them was the usual group of indistinguishable officers. Rows of guards flanked them on both sides. Chul and Chang Min were among them also today. They stood very close to each other. If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn they were holding hands. I couldn’t see if they were crying or not from where I stood, but I assumed they were.
The Demon of Yodok raised his hand and the crowd fell into a suspenseful silence. He waited yet another moment before he spoke.
“The horrendous tragedy that struck the world two days ago was nothing short of a cataclysm.” His voice was deep and distraught and full of unspeakable sorrow.
Two days ago?
I hadn’t reflected on it before, but it was true…
Our Father - the Great General died… on mine and Nari’s birthday!
I felt an icy chill flushing through my spine as General Roh continued his heartfelt speech.
“This cataclysm has created an imbalance in the world… an imbalance in the very fabric of nature… of our entire existence.” He gazed at us with his silvery ghost eye. “Last night, there were reports from eyewitnesses that all the cranes on Mount Paektu, the sacred birthplace of our Father - the Great General, have been crying unceasingly since the moment life left his body… and where their tears landed on the ground, a new strain of the hibiscus rose - the flower of Choson - immediately sprouted from the soil… it is a flower so beautiful that you will be blinded if you try to look straight at it.” He made a pause because his voice started to break. “This cataclysm was felt in the whole universe, and leaders from all over the world - even our sworn enemies who seek our destruction - are sending us their condolences for the loss of the greatest leader ever to set foot on this earth.” The soft wailing that had started to emerge from the crowd grew in volume and intensity. “This cataclysm caused earthquakes, tsunamis, storms, and floods to sweep over the country, destroying most of the crops that were about to be harvested… like the sky is cleansing the soil from all the traitors who are polluting this great nation that our Father created for us. The message from the Great General is clear… in this new world, only the purest and most righteous people will have a place, and all the traitors and sinners will perish.”
The pain of loss in my heart suddenly mixed with another feeling.
All traitors will perish? Am I considered such a traitor?
“In this new world, everybody… especially us here at Penal Labor Camp No. 15, need to work harder than ever before… we need to work harder to prove our worth… to prove our sincere desire for penance… to prove our gratitude to our passed beloved Father. Therefore, starting today… the daily quota that must be filled by each of you, who have strayed from the righteous path, will be increased by thirty percent.”
A loud gasp swept through the crowd.
Thirty percent? That’s impossible! We’re barely making it as it is…
Then, another fear struck me like a lightning bolt.
How will Nari manage?
The guards took a menacing step forward with firm grips on their machine guns, and the crowd immediately went silent again.
“Now that our Father no longer is with us,” General Roh continued in the same solemn voice, “we… his sons and daughters… need to ensure his legacy lives on forever. We must realize his dream and continue perfecting the Juche paradise in his image… we must continue building the greatest nation on earth. You, who have strayed from the righteous path, have betrayed him in his life, but you still have a chance to redeem yourselves in his death. I am certain all those who are worthy of redemption… all those who truly want to atone for your treason… will be filled with the Great General’s spirit, and you will have the strength and perseverance to fill your new quotas with the greatest of ease.” People started whispering in the crowd so he again raised his hand to call for silence. “In addition to paying your respects to our beloved departed Father through your labor, I also ask you to gather here, in front of this mural we made in his honor, the coming ten nights after your shifts have ended. Together, we will mourn the passing of the greatest man who has ever lived.” He let his gaze scan the grieving masses before him. “Tonight, you will gather here after your Meetings of Ideological Struggle, where I urge each of you to look hard and deep inside at how you have betrayed our Father. That is all. Go to work! You have a long day ahead of you. May the spirit of our Father fill those who are worthy with the energy needed to atone for your sins.”
The guards took a step forward with their machine guns in their hands.
This time, everybody reacted instantly, and the Bloodyard was cleared within a minute.
No gunshots were fired.
No one was trampled on the ground by the stampede of the Strayed.
No one was attacked and beaten to a pulp by the guards.
This time, we were all as one… mourning the passing of our beloved Father.
CHAPTER 13
“Work hard girls! Don’t give them any reason to punish you,” mom told us before she and dad disappeared in opposite directions. Nari and I diverted from the slow-flowing river of the Strayed and walked hand in hand along the narrow dirt road leading to the watermill. The sky had cleared up and the sun had retaken its dominant position on its light-blue canvas.
“Areum… I don’t know if I will manage—”
“You will,” I cut Nari short. “Don’t even think that! We will manage… together.”
I avoided looking at her face because I didn’t want to see the lack of effect my words were sure to have had.
Inside the watermill, we found Do Hun crying on a chair while Ki Ha emptied the barrel of corn cobs we had cleaned yesterday into the grinder.
“What took you so long?” Ki Ha growled as he noticed us. “Get to work! If we miss our quota because of you… by the Great General, I will put you both in the grinder and eat you myself.”
As Do Hun found the strength to leave, Nari and I started working. At first, we had no problem keeping up with the faster pace. But the deliveries of corn and tree bark started arriving more frequently - everybody out there must have been working in a panic - and the barrels started piling up. We al
most missed replacing the corn mixture barrel before it overflowed several times during the day. We were under ceaseless scolding by Ki Ha and had to be on constant alert for flying corncobs.
The temperature and humidity inside the squealing, creaking, and hammering room rose rapidly as the rising sun bathed the rooftop in its merciless rays. Both Nari and I were sweating like pigs. Unfortunately, so was Ki Ha, who spread his vile and nauseating body odor throughout the entire room. Nari didn’t look good. She reminded me of how she used to look during her bad periods when she had to stay for several weeks in the hospital. She continued working, but a few hours in, I noticed her breathing had become strained.
No, no, no… Nari is worthy… please, Father, fill her with your spirit and give her the strength to persevere… please, don’t let her heart fail her!
Nari noticed I was staring at her and gave me an angry look. Nothing made her more uncomfortable than being observed and evaluated.
Around noon, Ki Ha disconnected the cogwheel for the grinder and went outside.
“You get ten minutes break… eat quickly!” he grunted.
We gulped down the disgusting corn mixture that the prisoners on lunch distribution duty brought us and went back to work. With the faster working pace, the lunch ration was not nearly enough, and soon I again felt a stab of intense hunger, stronger than anything I had experienced since we arrived in the camp. And I was thirsty. Extremely thirsty. The water was right there… just a few steps away, but it might as well have been on the other side of the mountains.
The Weeping Masses: A Young Adult Dystopian Survival Saga (Juche - Part 3) Page 10
