The Weeping Masses: A Young Adult Dystopian Survival Saga (Juche - Part 3)

by Adria Carmichael

  “Good. And you saw him do it with your own eyes?” I looked at him without understanding. “In the story, you will tell my supervisor… did you see him stealing food with your own eyes?”

  “Yes, I saw him.”

  “Were you alone?”

  “Nari was there, but I was the only one who saw it. We were on the last water break of the day. Ki Ha drank first, then he went back inside, and thinking we were too preoccupied with the water, he put some corncobs under his clothes. But I saw him through the doorway.”

  “That’ll do,” Chul nodded. “Let’s go.”

  I sighed and nodded back. My heart was racing.

  We walked over to the road through the cornfield but waited a while to emerge into the road since we spotted Lucky walking by - an encounter neither of us had the energy for - then we rushed over to the guardhouse and entered without knocking. In the house, same as last time, sat the big-jawed Sergeant Park who had assigned us to Chul on our fifteenth birthday. That had been a cursed day… the day our Father - the Great General - had left this world behind.

  Sergeant Park looked like he had been expecting us.

  “Private Gang,” he greeted. “What do you have for me?”

  “This is prisoner Kim Areum… she has some information about a serious rule violation.”

  “I’m listening,” he joined his hands over the desk in front of him.

  “Yes… er… Sir… I did see something,” I stuttered. My throat suddenly felt thick and my head was dizzy. “Er… it was… the other week… in the watermill… it was…er…”

  “Please get to the point, Prisoner Kim… I’m a busy man,” Sergeant Park started thumbing his pencil impatiently.

  “Yes, o-of course… Sir,” I nervously tried to clear my throat, but the persistent thick lump remained in its place. “The other week… in the watermill… I saw prisoner Moon Ki Ha put some corncobs under his clothes when he thought no one was watching.”

  “I see,” Sergeant Park examined my face. “Did anyone else see this offense?”

  “Er… no… only me… Sir.”

  He leaned back in his chair, which creaked alarmingly, but he didn’t seem to notice.

  “So… prisoner Kim… if this happened several weeks ago… why are you reporting about it first now? Are you aware that by doing so, you are yourself breaking Sacred Rule number five? And if you’re not aware, then you’re by definition breaking Sacred Rule number ten - all prisoners must know these rules by heart.”

  Large sweat drops from my forehead dripped down and stung my eyes, making me blink frantically.

  “Because… because…” I stuttered.

  “Prisoner Kim was at that time in a highly vulnerable position,” Chul suddenly intervened. “She worked very closely with the perpetrator at the watermill, so retaliation was virtually unavoidable… it is also relevant to mention that he several times threatened to stage an accident for her and her sister, who also worked there, so they were justly afraid of him. Prisoner Kim was, despite this, aware of her duties according to camp rule number five, and she is deeply remorseful for this, and she will bring this personal failure as her main topic during the next Meeting of Ideological Struggle.”

  Sergeant Park looked at Chul, then at me.

  “Is that so, prisoner Kim?” he asked inquisitively. “Are you deeply remorseful?”

  “Yes, Sir… I’m very remorseful, Sir… I haven’t even been able to sleep since it happened… I have been so burdened by my guilty conscience… and I swear, it will never happen again… I have learned my lesson.”

  He pondered the information for a while, examining me with suspicious eyes.

  Chul cleared his throat.

  “I think we should also not forget that prisoner Kim was given the assignment to identify dissidence and transgressions among the prisoner population directly by General Roh, Sir,” Chul said in a tone that was uncharacteristically authoritative for him.

  Sergeant Park gave him a disapproving look but then nodded his head.

  “Okay, prisoner Kim, we’ll do it like this. You have provided us with useful information about a transgression of a fellow prisoner that you have witnessed. We thank you for this information, and we will make sure that prisoner Moon is punished for his crime and no longer will pose a threat to you or others. Usually, we would reward you for information like this. In this case, however, since you broke one of the Sacred Rules waiting so long to come forward with the information, your reward will be that we omit your punishment. Understood?”

  “Yes, Sir!” I sighed with relief. “Thank you very much, Sir! Next time I will report anything I see immediately, Sir. Thank you, Sir!”

  “Good,” Sergeant Park grunted. “And make sure that next time is no later than next week. You’re dismissed.”

  “Thank you, Sir,” Chul bowed and quickly led me outside.

  “Already next week?” I whispered in a panic after we had closed the door behind us. “Do I have to report on somebody every week? That’s not possible.”

  “Areum, that’s how this thing works. You did well just now, and you had to start with something significant… but in the future, you can probably report smaller offenses most of the time, but at least once a month or so, you need to bring something bigger… so they see that you’re a valuable asset.” He looked me sternly in the eyes. “You can do this, Areum. It’s not only about you… your family also depends on it.”

  Hearing my sister’s rapist saying I have to do it for my family, made my face flush with anger, but I knew he was right. No matter how much I hated it, right now, the safety of our entire family was depending on my work as an informant, and I needed Chul’s help to do it. Also… he was not the one who had made the rules.

  “Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll make it work.”

  “Good,” Chul was visibly relieved. “I will help you when you need it… but try to get into the habit yourself, okay?”

  “Thanks,” I said, but all of my instincts screamed at me that I was crossing a line by thanking him.

  Kill him instead! Just kill him… DO IT NOW!

  “Come on, I’ll walk you home,” Chul proposed.

  “That’s not necessary,” I took a determined step back. “Good night!”

  I turned around and started running back home before he had the chance to say another word.

  Juche Year 83

  -

  August

  CHAPTER 23

  It turned out we had already gotten used to the extra rations Chul had arranged for us, so the decrease in food became noticeable instantly. As the days passed, we became hungrier and hungrier, which affected our mood and energy. Mom was the exception. She seemed to be eating well with the other officer servants in the Chrysanthemum Garden. I knew we were all thinking it, but before we had a chance to say anything, mom apologized for not bringing any food back home.

  “I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of a way, but we are searched for contraband every night before we are allowed to leave for home,” she said. “And you know what would happen if I’m caught.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Sun Hee,” dad said placidly. “Just continue working hard… eventually the benefits will extend to the rest of us. We just have to be patient.”

  I didn’t share my father’s optimism. I also thought it was strange she had gotten a new work assignment so suddenly, especially since work in the Chrysanthemum Garden - from what I had heard - was only given as a reward to the most valued prisoners… which wasn’t the case with our family, now targeted by both General Roh and Colonel Wan. While pondering this, I remembered the picture of mom - if it was really her - on General Roh’s desk in his office and the way he had looked at her during orientation.

  Could all of this be more than a coincidence?

  The more I thought about it, however, the more far-fetched it all seemed, and my mind arrived at the conclusion that the picture on his desk couldn’t have been of mom… that it was of someone who just shared som
e resemblance to her when she was younger. After all, I only saw the picture for a split second, and that was the only explanation that made any sense. Still, I couldn’t shake my suspicion about her sudden transfer. I tried as discreetly as possible to ask her about it, and whether she worked directly for General Roh, but she just answered evasively that she hadn’t been informed about why they put her there and that she works in all the officer households, not just one. I wasn’t sure I believed her, and my suspicion grew stronger when I added the fact that General Roh had personally come to saved me from Colonel Wan’s clutches in the Center of Truth.

  What other reason could he have had for doing that? Surely it was not because he needed another informant. Did he do it… for her?

  Maybe it didn’t matter. Either way, it was difficult to think on an empty stomach, which felt even emptier since I still had to do most of Nari’s work on top of my own. I felt sorry for her, but there was a growing resentment inside me that I was back taking care of poor weak little Nari without even a thank you from our parents… just like before.

  Nari still vomited once in a while, but at least it didn’t happen every day. Since she still didn’t have any other symptoms, we assumed - and hoped - she was recovering and that it wasn’t a reversal of her heart condition. Mrs. Choy examined her almost every day and told us not to worry. She felt confident she was getting better. That relaxed us somewhat, but not completely. Now that it was warmer, Mrs. Choy could also more often sneak up into the mountains at night to gather herbs and plants to brew medicinal teas, something that seemed to lift Nari’s spirits… at least temporarily. So all in all, I started feeling convinced my little sister was no longer on the brink of death. Still, I couldn’t help being furious every time she vomited, thinking about all the food and water she was just letting go to waste… part of which was coming from my ration. My body also needed all the nourishment it could get since both my nose and finger were still healing from Colonel Wan’s treatment down in the dungeons.

  My family was, of course, not the only one suffering from the extra quotas imposed after the departure of our beloved Father - the Great General. Mina and her mother spent many evenings with us, and Mrs. Choy complained in an increasingly agitated manner about the hunger, and about getting weaker, and how it will be for Mina once she leaves school in a couple of months and has to work like an adult. All of us - especially Nari - felt for them, but since we were back on normal rations, and we could see our rice storage depleting at a fast pace, it was hard to empathize. As our hunger pains became constant, mom took the unpleasant task upon herself to ask the Choys to bring their own food the nights we ate together… even though she more often than not returned home long after dinner had finished. Regardless, they accepted my parents’ decision… but Mrs. Choy failed to hide her grave disappointment and desperation. I understood it was necessary, but I couldn’t deny I was somewhat surprised at the decision considering all they had done for Nari… and all they were still doing for her.

  What will we do if Mrs. Choy decides to stop treating Nari…? It’s not like we have another option…

  I had somehow gotten used to having Mina so close to my family. Maybe it was because it seemed like the truth of what I had done to her was once more safely buried deep underneath our daily problems. Mina also didn’t give any indication that she suspected anything. Still, I wasn’t able to fully relax whenever she was around.

  It had been two weeks now since I had done my first duty as an informant for the guards. Just as I had feared, Ki Ha disappeared overnight and hadn’t been seen since. I did my best not to think about what kind of gruesome fate he had met, but it was difficult. At least, there hadn’t been any public executions lately, so maybe he was still alive. Either way, I needed to continue being valuable to the guards and General Roh, so I had made a habit of observing the people around me for things I could report on… or at least use it as inspiration for my fabricated allegations. Since Chul told me it was enough to report on smaller things most times, last week I reported on Dong Suk - a grumpy looking middle-aged man from our work unit who had snuck away from work to go over to the river to drink without approval from the guards. They cut his rations for a week, and I felt better about myself knowing I had not put his life at risk… and that I for once didn’t have to tell a lie. It was also a bonus that he was close to our unit leader, Mr. Ma… yet another person I had grown to hate during my brief time here. I realized, however, I must also report on people outside my work unit, otherwise, they would eventually figure out what I’m up to… and I’d heard stories about what prisoners do to people they have uncovered to be informants. The mere thought of it made me shiver, so it was yet another area I tried to keep my mind away from. The good thing - if you can call it that - was that the hunger pains, as well as the loud rumbling of my stomach keeping me company at night, distracted me from those kinds of thoughts.

  It also distracted me from the otherwise overwhelming feeling of abandonment of my Father - the Great General. It was still there, but it felt more distant and veiled in the fog blocking my senses. I kept the Great General pin clenched in my fist over my heart at night, but all I felt was cold dead metal.

  We had hoped the unbearable heat would end together with the official end of summer, but as August progressed, we quickly realized we had been wrong. The heat and humidity felt, if possible, even more unbearable, and I spent every moment of every workday watching Nari, expecting her to pass out at any moment. Although she came close more than once, somehow she managed to stay on her feet. That didn’t mean she was doing much actual work… but at least she remained on her feet, and that meant the difference between life and death.

  At the end of the hottest and most excruciating day yet, after being under the blazing sun and the constant berating by Mr. Ma and his closest men, the last of our limited energy reserve had been depleted to the degree not even the magical water rations could help us. But by some kind of miracle, we still managed to fill the last of our quota. In my hazed state, as we waited for the final counting and confirmation that the workday was over, at first I didn’t notice Hana standing by the cornfield staring at me. I had to blink a couple of times to make sure she was real. In the end, her tall figure, razor-sharp bangs, and large penetrating eyes contrasting everything around her was unmistakable. I hadn’t seen her - or given her much thought for that matter - since the day she told me she had witnessed the attack on Nari and me up in the mountains… that she could have saved her… but didn’t. Meeting her abrasive eyes - even from a distance - all the feelings from that day flooded back through my body. The haze veiling my brain lifted. I wanted nothing to do with her, but I knew well enough she wasn’t a person who could easily be ignored, so I bit my lip and walked over to her through the fragrant piles of newly harvested corn.

  “What do you want?” I grunted, crossing my arms.

  “I see what you are doing,” Hana smirked without blinking. “You can’t go on like this forever.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Your sister’s weak… and you’re filling her quota. You can’t go on like that forever… and from what I hear, she’s getting weaker by the day. Is she still vomiting?”

  A heatwave flushed up through my body and my face.

  “So now you care about my sister all of a sudden?” I scoffed.

  “What I care about… is you,” Hana opened her large eyes even further. “I need you, Areum… I told you before. And as I see it… both you and your sister need me.”

  “We needed your help that night, but—”

  “Great General… enough about the past!” Hana rolled her eyes. “What’s done is done, so let’s move on. What matters is that we both have problems… and we can help each other… let’s not be stupid here… this will be good for both of us.”

  I examined her huge piercing eyes.

  “And how exactly can you help us?” I asked reluctantly.

  She smiled.

  “Well, as I
see it… as long as you’re out here doing this kind of slave work, you’ll be stuck filling your sister’s quota for her. So, your only chance to make it in the long run is to be reassigned to an easier work detail. I mean… it was pretty okay in the watermill, am I right?”

  I was not comfortable with how much Hana seemed to know about my sister and me.

  “So… if I help you, you’ll get us reassigned?” I asked.

  “I’ll pull some strings… it won’t be a problem. And then, we’ll have a look at your little revenge plan as well… if that is still something you’re considering.”

  I looked at her suspiciously.

  “That… doesn’t work for me,” I said through the lump in my throat. “After what you did to us, I just don’t trust you. And we need to be reassigned now… not later. As you said, Nari won’t make it that long. So here’s the deal… get us reassigned now, and I’ll help you with whatever you need.” I then lowered my voice to a whisper and leaned closer to her. “And yes… my sister’s rapist will still pay for his crime.”

  Hana scratched her neck uncomfortably.

  “Yeah… so the thing is… I can’t do that right now,” she said. “You see, that’s exactly the problem… Hyuk kicked me out of the Dragons, so I won’t have that kind of influence over the guards until I regain my rightful position as their leader… which is what I need your help with.”

  I scoffed.

  “Are you for real? In that case… why don’t I just go and ask Hyuk to help me?”

  “You’re welcome to try,” Hana smirked. ”But it won’t do you any good. Hyuk is a self-righteous bastard who has zero respect for women. In the best-case scenario, he will just laugh you in the face. The worst-case scenario I’ll leave up to your imagination.”

  With the adrenaline rushing through my body, it was difficult to think.

  “And what guarantees do I have that you actually will be able to do what you are saying?” I asked.

  “You just have to trust me,” Hana shrugged her shoulders. “The leader of the Dragons can get almost anything they want from the guards, so I assure you it won’t be a problem.”