by L. L. Ash
Holy shit she almost died.
If Ivy died, then so did I. Everything about me that was alive and flourishing, would have died with her and been buried in her casket.
I closed my eyes and prayed to God in thanks that I had gotten there just in time. I’d saved her, just like she’d saved me so many years ago when we’d become friends. Just like every single time she’d put her head on my shoulder and let me breathe her in when life felt too overwhelming and hopeless.
Even though she broke my heart and I was so fucking mad at her, I loved her. I always had, and I always would.
I didn't know what to do with that, but I didn't much care, either. I closed my heavy eyes and let myself drift off into dreamland where she hadn’t pulverised my very being, and maybe we’d still have been together.
- 16 -
Ivory
Three Years Ago
“You son of a fucking bitch!” I screamed after him while he tried to slip out of the closet.
I wouldn’t let him go so easily.
There had always been a push and pull between us, and after so many years of the weird hate-lust between us, I’d thought he was finally willing to get over whatever his issue was and be with me.
I was so fucking wrong.
Hillary was there, giving me the ‘I know what you’ve been doing’ look, but she saw the smirk on Hunter’s face and the rage filling mine, and I thought that maybe she put two and two together without me having to say a word.
“What?” Hunter asked, throwing the word over his shoulder like we’d just shared a handshake, and not dirty, lust-filled sex in a fucking closet.
I still had a sore spot where I’d been laying on that high heel, but it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as my heart did at the moment.
“What was that?” I asked, shoving his shoulder.
He paused while ascending the stairs to the first floor and glanced at me over his shoulder again.
“Most people call that fucking.”
No, that was lovemaking, pure and simple.
“Where are you going, Hunt? We have to talk about this!”
“No, we really don’t,” he said, the humor draining from his face.
“You just took my virg—”
He froze there on the steps, his hand gripping the rail so hard his knuckles turned white.
Dammit… Why did I have to admit that to him?
“What happened to you?” I breathed. “We used to be best friends—”
“I grew up,” he whispered harshly back, whirling on me with fire in his eyes. “You didn’t want me any more than I wanted you. We were hormone filled kids with no knowledge of the world besides each other. You moved on pretty damn fast, and so did I. Just because you missed the convenience of sneaking away from your mom while you were throwing a tantrum, doesn’t mean that anything is my fault. I’m not the one who used anybody.”
What the hell was he talking about?
“You want to talk about using somebody? What was that? Just now? You just had your tongue up my vag!”
“You’re welcome,” was his response before he turned and continued back up the stairs.
I’d experienced anger in my life, mostly directed at Mom, but nothing could ever compare to how I felt just then. My entire body felt hot and shaky and I thought I just might physically explode with rage.
Once we got to the top of the stairs, I grabbed his arm and whirled him around. He looked bored of me already, which sent another spike of hurt through my already battered and bruised heart.
“I hate you,” I hissed, then I threw my hand and slapped him square across the cheek.
He stared down at me with violent eyes, and for a second, I worried that maybe he would hit me back. But he didn’t. No, instead he turned around and grabbed the nearest girl by the back of her skirt and pulled her after him out the front door.
It was Barb, one of the annoying cheerleaders who always gave me nasty looks when we passed each other in the hall at school. She saw who the hand belonged to and her face lit up in excitement as she bustled to follow, leaving her conversation half-finished and with her friend still rumbling around awkward words in their mouth.
I’d just given my virginity to the only boy I ever loved, who was a fucking horndog and a true blue bastard to every level. It obviously meant nothing to him to have taken something so valuable to me, and he was about to erase my scent with hers.
Hot tears started down my face and I didn’t even try to stop them. My battered heart broke just then, shattering into a thousand bloody pieces that bled down my cheeks in salty tears before plunging down to the pretty hardwood floors.
God, I hated him. With every bone in my body, I hated him.
And loved him.
- 17 -
Ivory
“Ivory?”
“Hunter?”
The voices were in tandem, and they wrenched me out of my black, exhausted dream with the sharp panic in the words.
Something next to me stirred, and I cracked open my sore eyes and looked beside me.
Blond, ruffled hair met my eyes, then amber eyes flicked to mine.
“You ok?” he asked, voice nothing but grated gravel against his throat.
“What the hell is going on here?” a male voice shrieked.
My eyes shot to the door where Dad and Penelope were standing there, shock written all over their eyes at what they were looking at.
I turned my vision down and saw that I was topless. Strike that, I was naked. Nothing but damp panties clinging to my ass cheeks were covering me up underneath the blanket, and I felt a whole lot of hot skin touching mine, which meant Hunter was in the same condition.
He didn’t look so horrified by our parents finding us naked in bed together. He just rubbed his sleepy eyes and yawned.
“Ivy drowned,” he said, still yawning. “We got back but we were dead on our feet. Chill out.”
Penelope just blinked rapidly for a minute, processing her son’s words, but Dad was bounding forward and throwing his arms around me.
“You what?” he demanded, panic etched in his voice.
Hunter slipped out from underneath the sheets and he still had his underwear on too, though his were damp and clingy just as bad as mine. He pulled on some sweats and gave me and Dad some space.
“I’m ok,” I said. “Hunter saved me.”
“Might want to sue the lifeguard though. Dude did nothing to help.”
Penelope was rushing forward now, throwing her arms around her son briefly before wrapping her matronly grasp around me.
“Are you ok, honey?” she asked, looking into my eyes with her hands framing my cheeks.
“I’m ok. I didn’t drown. I just swallowed a lot of salt water. I’m still damp, though.”
Looking down, there was a towel where my head had been, and I noticed my hair was mostly dry. Hunter had undressed me and dried me off as much as he could before passing out himself.
“Let’s get you to your room,” Penelope said, helping me wrap the sheets tighter around me before helping me up.
Dad pulled on my arm to get me on my feet, but I didn’t feel so weak anymore. I guess the effects of almost dying were temporary.
Behind me, Dad started demanding the story out of Hunter, who casually explained why he’d woken up mostly naked with me in bed. And while I was grateful it was innocent, I was also the slightest bit disappointed. Three years ago I never could have imagined wanting to be in his bed again, but now, I craved it from the bottom of my stomach.
Penelope led me right into the bathroom where she started running a hot bath.
“Here you go,” she said, pouring some of the complimentary body wash into the water to act as bubble bath. “This will help warm you up.”
I’d been perfectly cozy with my skin plastered to Hunter’s, but I wasn’t about to tell her that.
“Thank you,” I murmured, wondering exactly if this was what it was like to have a mom that cared about me.
; Dad had always taken care of me when I was sick, when I couldn’t care for myself. But, I had to admit, it felt nice to not have to do it all for myself, even though I wasn't a kid anymore.
Penelope left the room, and I dropped the sheet before crawling into the steaming bath. I didn’t even want to think about how many dead little swimmers were still clinging to the side of the shower/tub combo. Nope, I wasn’t going to think about it.
“Feeling better?” came that low, raspy voice that made goosebumps erupt all over my skin.
Or maybe it was the hot water.
“Better,” I agreed, folding my arms over my chest even though there were bubbles practically up to my chin.
Hunter leaned heavily against the door frame and sighed.
“Try not to die on me again, ok?” he asked, still looking tired.
A wide yawn made his mouth gape, and for some reason my brain flicked back to three years ago when that mouth had changed my entire world.
“I’ll try not to,” I chirped back.
He relaxed again and gave me a lazy smile just before Dad came storming into the bathroom.
“You almost died?” he demanded. “Since when can you not surf?”
My easy, calm feelings started evaporating at the annoyance coating his words of worry.
“I’m fine, Dad.”
It was just then that Dad seemed to realize Hunter was in the room. He looked him up and down, then shoved his shoulder until Hunter was out of the bathroom.
It made me grin.
“Hunter saved me, so maybe you should be a little nicer,” I said.
The words seemed to surprise him, but he wasn’t unpleasantly surprised.
“So all it took was a life or death experience and you two are back to being besties?” he clipped, which made Penelope laugh as she slipped around him with some clothes in her hand.
“Well, better friend than foe,” she told him, then shooed all the guys out of the bathroom before closing the door behind her, only leaving an inch to speak through. “You need anything, honey?”
“I’m alright,” I promised. “Thanks, Penelope.”
She hummed her acknowledgement before closing the door with a soft click.
I sank back into the tub with a long sigh of relief, soaking up the heat that sank deep into my bones.
The events of the afternoon hadn’t really hit me yet, but as I sat there in the water, I kept flashing back to the hot burn in my lungs as I tried to yank the ankle chain from the crevice of coral it’d gotten stuck in. Velcro. I almost drowned because I forgot that my ankle was wrapped in a tiny strap of easy to remove fabric band.
Thank God for Hunter and his quick thinking.
Suddenly, the water was too hot and I felt like I was suffocating again, so I stumbled out of the tub and dried off before slipping into the clothes Penelope had brought me.
Dad was waiting for me outside the bathroom door when I got out, and stood up straight when the door swung open.
“You sure you’re ok?” Dad asked, worry sketched in his eyes as he put his arms around me so gently, like I would crumble right in front of him.
“I’m fine, dad,” I told him, looking into his eyes so he could see the truth there.
I was ok. Shaken up, but I was alive, and that was all I could ask for.
He looked relieved and squeezed me again before pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“Alright. Get some sleep and we’ll do something together in the morning. I love you, kiddo.”
“Love you too, dad,” I told him, snuggling up into his chest.
An odd feminine scent clung to his shirt, and it was so weird since he’d never smelled like that before. It made my heart hurt that there was someone else in his life besides me, but I was also so excited for him to have found something good for himself. I was on to a new adventure in life, and that meant that Dad was on a new one, too. And now he was going to be able to share that next part of his life with Penelope, who I already knew was an incredible woman. I would just mourn how it had always been, him and I. Us against the world, especially when Hunter had abandoned me.
Dad smiled at me and said goodnight, leaving me at my door. He padded over to his room and went in, shutting himself away with the new love of his life. Even his baby girl had to make room for his new wife.
I smiled to myself, only feeling the slightest bit salty about it, and gripped my doorknob.
Hunter’s door was just a couple feet away, his door closed and it was dark and quiet. I didn't even know what time of night it was, but I didn’t feel that tired after my nap. I wondered briefly if Hunter was asleep.
Taking a couple stealthy steps toward his room, I twisted and pushed on the handle, peeking in to listen for the sound of deep, restful breathing.
“Don’t be a creep,” came his gritty voice through the silent space.
Opening the door more, I slipped inside and closed it behind me.
“You ok? You usually avoid me for all you’re worth. Sure you didn’t hit your head or something?”
I huffed and pressed my back against the door.
“There’s no way I can sleep right now,” I admitted.
“Yeah, me either,” he said. “You got my bed soaking wet.”
So that was why he was laying on top of the comforter in nothing but his sweats.
“Sorry, not sorry.” I shrugged.
His lips tilted in a tiny smile, shadowed and highlighted by the light coming through where his curtains should have been drawn to block out the night's light.
“Just get your ass in here, or get out,” he told me, scooching just the tiniest bit so there was room for me beside him.
Without hesitation, I moved toward the bed and crawled in, soaking in the hot feel of his arms around me and the familiar curve of his shoulder where I'd always rested my head when I felt bad.
“How do you feel about this marriage?” I asked him, whispering against his skin as I breathed in his salty, musky scent.
“What am I supposed to feel?” he asked. “Don’t think we have much say in it.”
“No, but I want to know your feelings. You have to feel something. I mean, she sold your house. Your house is my house now.”
He let out a short, annoyed breath.
“Don’t get me wrong. I know your dad is a good guy. I worry about her though. Mom’s a people pleaser, and even though she’s taken amazing strides to get stronger over the past few years, I’m afraid she’ll lose herself in a man again.”
“Dad will never let her do that,” I promised.
“I hope you’re right,” he whispered into my hair, puffing warmth against the strands.
I turned further into him and slipped my leg over his. He didn’t seem to mind.
“What does that mean for us?” I breathed, barely a sound at all.
“I dunno,” he gritted back just as quietly.
The fan above us twirled in endless circles as we laid there in sweats, legs and arms tangled around each other. It almost felt like one of those nights so long ago when I would climb in through his window and crawl into his bed. It was innocent back then. We were innocent. But not anymore. I could still remember with terrifying detail what he felt like inside me, and what his lips and tongue could do to me.
I’d slept with two other guys since then, and neither compared to that night. As heartbreaking and tragic as it was, it was still one of the best nights of my life, directly following the first time he kissed me on the beach when I was twelve and he was thirteen. That had been the pinnacle for me, the moment in my life where I was the happiest I could ever remember. But just days later, that moment was spoiled and everything between us had fallen apart.
Hunter’s chest slowed with deep breathing, and I could tell by the long draws of his lungs that he was asleep.
Nuzzling my nose further into his chest, I closed my eyes as I felt hot, salty tears squeeze through. I pressed a kiss to his solid chest and breathed in the quietest voice I could manage, �
�I love you, Hunter Hayes.”
He had broken my heart, but he’d also saved my life.
Even if I hated him, I knew as I laid there with him, breathing his scent and tasting the bitterness of my own tears on my lips, that I would always belong to him. Hunter was my forever. I just had to figure out a way for that to be a possibility.
Maybe.
Well, possibly.
If we somehow managed to get over the whole hate part.
- 18 -
Ivory
“I’m really sorry,” I told Jamie the next morning.
I’d slipped out of Hunter’s room before dawn and dove into a new romance book on my phone. It was almost nine o’clock when I remembered that I was supposed to meet Jamie.
Within a minute, I’d slipped some sandals on and hurried down to the main lobby and found him sitting there in a chair near the door.
“I’m still not feeling well. I almost drowned yesterday. My ankle got caught in the rocks after I fell off my surfboard. I took in a lot of water and—”
Jamie looked down at me and lifted compassionate eyebrows.
“Holy shit, are you ok? Are you injured?”
I shook my head.
“Not injured, but I’m still recovering. I’m exhausted from, kind of, almost dying.”
He let out a low whistle.
“Of course. Don’t even feel bad. I get it. Maybe when you’re feeling better, you can find me in the spa. I'm there every day but Friday and Sunday.”
“Maybe I’ll take you up on that,” I told him. “You do have those magic hands, after all.”
A slow smile tilted the corners of his mouth as he looked down at his hiking boots.
“You have no idea how magical,” he mumbled before turning his eyes back up to me and winking seductively.
That sounded like an invitation if I ever heard one. Too bad I was so mixed up about Hunter, because Jamie would be an interesting person to have a fling with.
