by L. L. Ash
With an embarrassed little bite of his lower lip, he grinned, then let it melt into a friendly smile.
“I’m glad you’re feeling alright. The ocean can be a bitch, huh?”
I snorted, the most unladylike sound ever that made me blush down to my chest.
“You could say that,” I choked out.
A low, rumbling chuckle erupted from him, but then he lifted a hand and gave the most awkward wave.
“Hopefully you can see me before you go heading home to Cali,” he said.
“Me too,” I agreed, then realized I was making zero sense, and that made me blush even harder.
A breeze whipped past me and I turned to see Hunter, striding away from me in just his board shorts and flip flops, his whole body set in determination.
What crawled up his ass?
“Well, I gotta go meet up with my friends. They’re waiting for me,” Jamie said, glancing at his phone before taking a step toward the front doors.
“Sorry again, Jamie,” I said.
“No worries, Ivory. Bye.”
I watched him leave right after Hunter and frowned.
My stomach was all kinds of messed up as I watched him and thought about having something with him. But then I thought about Hunter.
With a groan rattling in my sore throat, I turned on my heel and went back up to the suite.
I needed a shower and some makeup, and maybe that would give me the time I needed to sort my shit out.
Inside, I saw Dad and Penelope having breakfast together, giggling over feeding each other fruit that they must have ordered via room service.
“Hey kiddo,” Dad called when he saw me come in. “How are you feeling this morning?”
I wandered over, feeling like a third wheel. That’s why I didn’t sit and join them.
“Sit down, there’s plenty,” Penelope said with a warm, happy smile.
“No, that’s ok,” I told her, smiling back. “I’m actually just going to clean up. I’m feeling a lot better today. Just a sore throat, and my chest is a little heavy, but I’m fine.”
Dad frowned.
“That could be the beginnings of pneumonia. We need to take you to a doctor.”
He was already getting up and patting his pockets to make sure he had his wallet and keys.
I just smiled, my heart full and warm at Dad’s worry. He’d always worried too much.
“I’ll keep an eye on it, ok? If it gets worse, I’ll tell you, and we can go to the hospital.”
His frown deepened, but he eventually nodded reluctantly and sat back down to finish his breakfast.
With a little wave, I went back to my room to gather some clothes for my shower.
Maybe baths weren’t in my future for a while, but showers? They were still the shit.
“Are you sure you won’t come to the theater with us?” Penelope asked, her large bag already filled with snacks for the movie her and dad were going to watch.
Yeah, we were those kinds of people. The ones who brought their own snacks and kept tote bags around specifically to sneak them into the theater.
I shook my head.
“We only have a couple more days, so I really want to spend some more time on the beach.”
Dad deadpanned.
“Not in the water,” I promised.
It would be a minor miracle to get me back in the water for the rest of the trip.
With that reassurance, they left and I gathered my coverup to slip on top of my bikini and stuck my raunchy airport book under my arm. It still reminded me of Hunter, but I wanted to finish the story before moving on with the book on my phone.
Yes, I was the kind of monster that would read more than one book at a time.
The moist heat hit me first, and it felt amazing on my skin after the heavily air conditioned suite. Sunlight was exactly what I needed.
I absolutely wasn’t out there to catch a glimpse of Hunter.
Nope.
Not at all.
I found a large enough spot to lounge at, spreading out my towel before laying flat on my stomach. The wide-brimmed sun hat on my head helped to block the sun from my pages, so I was able to dig in and the pages turned one after the other as the story soaked into me.
Lust, desire, pain and heartache. Three men were just too Goddamn much, but I supposed not for the MC of that story. She seemed to like a man in every orifice just fine.
It was more than an hour later that I saw that familiar blond hair, now darkened with sea water and slicked back ala James Dean style. Even without his leather jacket and motorcycle boots, the guy bled ‘bad boy’ through every pore, and the ladies came running.
Kinda like the skanky skank that was pawing at him near the shaved ice stand.
I frowned as he got one, then started eating it in front of the girl, not dismissing her, but not paying her much mind, either.
He shrugged once, then said something that made her laugh before he winked at her.
Son of a bitch he was flirting with her.
My blood started to boil as I watched them walk off companionably together between a couple shops across the road. And, like a total masochist, I followed.
Bundling up my towel and book, both covered in sand, I made my way to the shaved ice stand and got in line.
But I couldn’t wait.
After a couple pointless minutes, I ducked out of line and made a beeline down the alley between shops and down the street again.
Damn… I lost th—
A faint moan hit my ears, and my throat swelled. I forced myself to swallow my spit and took a hesitant step forward, then another until I was peeking down another alley. This one was a little more private since it ended in a dead end of dumpsters on the opposite side.
Hunter stood there, naked chest pressing the skanky skank against the weathered, wood siding with her legs wrapped around his waist. He was sucking on her neck like a vampire and she was howling her pleasure somewhat quietly as her hips gyrated into his.
That wasn’t the worst part though.
No, the worst part was the fact that he was dry humping her back. His ass clenched in those damp shorts and he ground into her just as she would rotate her hips, and it was like watching the PG13 version of fucking.
My Hunter, was fake-fucking another woman.
My eyes filled up with tears as I realized that he wasn’t mine. Not really. We’d bonded, and he’d saved my life, but he’d never made any attempt to go any further than the brother/sister thing that we’d been forced into.
So, he wasn’t mine. Hunter Hayes wasn’t interested in me like that, obviously. Hunter didn’t love me like I loved him. He felt...something, for me. I knew that. But it wasn’t romantic, as my eyes were confirming.
My love was unrequited, obviously, just like it had been when we were kids, and again in my junior year of high school. I was the entertainment, not the person he went home with.
Feeling my mouth water and my nose start to run with my emotions, I quickly slunk away and made my way back to the hotel where I could have a dirty little cry and get over him.
Again.
Laying face down in my bed, crying for the millionth time that he didn’t really love me back, I promised myself one simple thing.
I wouldn’t love Hunter anymore. He would be my brother, and it would be platonic. Somehow I’d have to convince my heart and my vag of that, but over time, it would happen.
Meanwhile, if Hunter didn’t give a shit about me and what I thought when it came to guys, I had a couple on retainer that seemed mighty interested in me. I had two days, and that meant time for two flings, if I could gain the courage, anyway.
Wiping away my tears, I pulled out my phone and typed in a simple text to Kai.
Me: I’m free tonight, wanna go out?
It was bold of me to invite him, but his return text made me grin with relief.
Kai: Not sure if this is a booty call or a date, but the answer is yes.
Me: Eight. Beach. Where you
guys surfed last time. I’ll bring the food, you bring the wine.
Kai: Done.
There.
I had plans, and they would come sooner than I was ready for. I wiped at my face again, then looked toward the shower.
After a little rinse to get the sweat off and help my puffy, red eyes, I’d get all made up and go on my date/booty call with one of the nicest guys I’d gone on an ‘almost’ date with.
Wasting no more time on Hunter and his own booty call, I flung open my bag and started digging for a sexy, light dress to wear to the beach in just a few hours.
- 19 -
Ivory
Eight Years Ago
“I can’t believe I let you ruin my boobs,” Mom said when I slipped into the house.
Normally her comment would bother me, but I was way too hyped up on the fact that Hunter Hayes just kissed me.
And it wasn’t just a peck, either. It was a full, open mouth, fucking with your mouth sort of thing that I heard some of the older girls talk about doing with their boyfriends.
Oh my God… Did that make Hunter my boyfriend?
I hoped so.
I hoped to God that it did.
I’d loved him for so long that my stomach ached every time we were around each other. My mouth felt dry, my hands shaky. The ease we’d always had was now tainted with anxiety that he might not like me the same way.
All that melted away, because he would not have kissed me like that if he didn’t like me back.
The kiss had been so...desperate. So hungry. Like, if we didn’t inhale each other, we just might die of deprivation.
There was a little bit of spit crusted around my mouth, but I didn’t want to wipe it away. It was a physical reminder that he was there, that his lips had danced against mine. Well, that and the strawberry chapstick that was smeared all around my mouth and chin.
I could literally die right in that moment, and I would die happy.
Well, maybe I’d like to have another kiss like that before I biffed it. That would be nice.
I locked myself into my room, ignoring Mom’s annoyance at my very existence and dug into my stash of granola bars that Hunter kept supplying me with. Dad had just filled the fridge the day before, but I didn’t want to chance more comments from Mom while she was conscious. I was in too good of a mood to have her killing it for me.
I snacked on the granola while the sun went down, coloring my white blinds with purples, pinks, and golds while I relived that moment with Hunter, over and over.
His hands in my hair.
His tongue on my tongue.
His teeth clinking against mine in eagerness.
My whole self wanted to go find another spot where we could go make out and hide away, but I needed a little space to process my happiness and excitement. When I’d said goodbye, Hunter didn’t look too excited to see me go, but he let me. I ran home and locked myself away, but now all I wanted was to find him and see if it still felt as good as I remembered.
I did my homework, struggling with my wandering brain, then started on a new book from the library since I’d just finished my last one. Gary Paulson’s, ‘The Island’ was weathered, but it remained one of my favorite books of all time.
Still, I couldn’t get Hunter off my brain, so I ended up putting the book down and just laying on my bed in the darkened room.
Dad got home just before nine and Mom laid into him the moment he opened the door. I only knew he was home because she called him her favorite slur, shouting ‘four eyes’ as the front door shut with a bang.
Normally I would arrange my pillow under my blanket and sneak off to Hunter’s house, but I didn’t want to today. Everything felt so...different, and we couldn’t just go back to how it had always been.
Dad got away from Mom quickly enough and he must have settled her down in front of the TV because it didn’t take long for him to peek my door open to see if I was still awake.
“Hey Dad,” I said, which gave him the go-ahead to come in.
“Hey kiddo,” he said, weariness wrinkling his eyes. “Missed you today.”
“Missed you too, Daddy. I’m sorry Mom’s such a cunt.”
Dad choked for a second, his eyebrows going up in shock.
“Where did you hear that word?” he asked.
“School,” I said quickly.
‘Hunter’ would have been the more honest answer, but I didn’t want to get him in trouble. That was his favorite word for Mom, and bastard was his own dad’s new name. He’d started cussing a couple years ago, and it settled in pretty well. He’d had a wicked mouth ever since.
Speaking of wicked mouths… His kisses—
“That’s not a nice word,” Dad said gently, stroking his fingers down my cheek before nudging my chin. “Let’s not call Mom that anymore, ok?”
I just nodded.
“You hungry?” he asked, moving on quickly. “I can whip you up something.”
“No thanks, I ate already.”
I could have gone for some more food, but he looked so dang tired that I couldn’t make him go deal with her again just to make me some food.
“Ok. Well, it’s late, so you go to bed. Love you baby.”
He put his arms out and I accepted his hug eagerly.
“Love you too, Daddy,” I told him, pressing a kiss on his cheek. “You should get sleep, too.”
“That’s a deal,” he agreed, then moved out of my room, closing my door with a soft click.
- 20 -
Hunter
Goddamnit.
Little dicky was up and rearing to go, but I just couldn’t get my fucking head into the game.
Chastity, (yeah, I know, such an ironic name,) was all down for a hump in the shadows of the little Hawaiin cafe we were pressed against, but I couldn’t do more than shove my dick into her clit in a lame attempt to get her off.
Only a couple hours ago, I was secretly watching Ivy wake up in my bed, her face in my shoulder and my heart beating out of my Goddamn chest because of it. I wanted her so bad. But I didn’t let myself have her. There was so much history between us, and a lot of it was bad. I’d totally messed things up, and honestly, I still hadn’t forgiven her for what went down years ago. Still, I needed my own forgiveness for the asshole I’d been to her during high school.
The biggest problem was, Ivy had left my bed, and I followed her downstairs to the lobby where she met Mr. Meathead Masseuse. She talked with him, and they flirted. God, it hurt to watch her smile at him like that.
I’d saved her life, and I’d comforted her all night, but it wasn’t enough.
I was never e-fucking-nough for her.
So, I went surfing for a while to ease my mind, then I went trolling for someone to ease my night-old blue balls with.
So she could fuck some stranger? Well, I could, too.
Meanwhile, I was trying my damnedest, and my brain was getting in the way, of all things.
While one pussy was like any other, what it was connected to really made the difference. And all my head wanted was Ivy.
But she wasn’t mine, and she never would be. We would somehow have to figure out how to endure each other now that Mom was married to her dad. Not to mention the fact that Mom had sold her house and I was stuck without a place to go until the end of summer when my sublease was up.
My buddies were home, but was that any better? I didn’t want to be stuck on their couches. Not when I could siphon off Ivy’s presence without seeming like a perv. I could stand it ’til the end of summer, then next year, maybe I wouldn’t sublet so I had a place to go when my heart finally gave out from being around Ivy too long.
That was a better plan.
I smashed my lips to the hottie’s mouth as she wriggled in my arms, but I couldn’t get my tattered and broken heart into it.
“What's wrong” she asked, panting before pulling the bikini strap behind her neck.
The thing flopped open, but, eh, her tits weren’t as nice as Ivy’s.
Goddamnit.
I growled and forced my mouth down on a nipple, sucking it into my mouth as we started riding each other again, and she seemed to forget entirely about her question.
Nope.
I couldn’t do it.
Her skin tasted like sweat and salt water, not like strawberries, and her voice was too high and breathy.
“Sorry, I gotta go,” I told her.
She looked so fucking affronted, but it didn’t matter.
She was too busy tying up her bikini top to follow after me, so I lost myself in the crowd of tourists and tried to settle my brain down. And little dickie, he was fucking furious at me.
It was hours that I was out. I didn’t want to go back and face Ivy.
Hell, it took until almost ten before I got enough balls to go back. By then the suite was empty, and there was a text waiting on my phone, lying on the counter.
Mom: gone to dinner and a show. Back around midnight. Ivy’s out on a date. Go ahead and get some room service.
A date. Ivy was on a date.
I growled and smashed my palm against the stone countertop before forcing myself to breathe easier.
She wasn't mine, and I had to face the fact that she never would be.
Ivy was too good for me, and she would never want me for more than a fast, dirty fuck.
It broke my Goddamn heart all over again.
- 21 -
Ivory
“I was kind of surprised to hear from you,” Kai said, approaching with a bottle of wine in each hand and holding them up like a peace offering.
“How come?” I asked.
He gave a little shrug and sat down on the deserted stretch of beach.
The sun was down, but the moon was almost full, so there was still plenty of light around us to see well enough.
“I don’t know. You just didn’t seem very interested, I guess.”
I looked over his dark, carmel skin and the sparkling brown eyes that stared back at me.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I inquired, wondering why the hell it took so long to send him that text.
