Deviant King: Royal Elite Book One
Page 21
My cheeks heat and I wish I could hide in a hole. “Here I thought you’d forgotten about that.”
“Hell no.” She chuckles, nudging me. “I was waiting for you to fess up.”
“I’m just…” I hang my head against the wall. “I don’t know. He’s so intense and I feel like if I give in to him, I’ll never find a way out. Not to mention that he’s distracting me. Cambridge is just around the corner and there’s no way in hell I’m letting anything take it away from me, especially not some boy drama, but…”
“But?”
“But I feel a sick type of relief whenever he comes to find me, corners me, and takes away the decision. Isn’t that crazy?”
“All the best things usually are.” She grins.
I jab her shoulders playfully. “You’re not helping.”
“Ellie, you’re my best friend and I love you, but you’re too… safe.” Kim’s voice shifts to the grownup tone she uses with her little brother. “You’ve been living your life so much by the rules, it’s like you’re a thirty year-old woman wrapped in an eighteen year-old body.”
I should be offended, but I’m not.
“That’s not true,” I tell her.
“Not true?” She gives me an ‘Are you shitting me’ look. “You didn’t touch the ice cream even though your aunt isn’t here. I’m sure a bite or two won’t kill you, but you don’t even want to consider going against your aunt’s wishes.”
“Those types of food rot the body.”
“Do you hear yourself? You sound just like your aunt — and that’s not a compliment.”
“Kim!”
“I mean, look at your interests.”
“What about them?”
“You picked up yoga because of your aunt. You like football because of your uncle. Hell, you’re going to Cambridge because they’re alumni. ”
I cross my arms. “Aunt and Uncle saved me from the alternative of foster homes. They gave me a safe, healthy upbringing. If it weren’t for the heart surgery they paid for, I would’ve died. There’s nothing wrong with wanting them to be happy.”
“Sure. You’re totally right.” Kim leans against the wall. “But have you thought that maybe you’re living your aunt and uncle’s lives, not yours? Maybe that’s why you’re so inexplicably drawn to King.”
“What? How?”
“You’ve always lived by the rules. He doesn’t. He’s free in ways you aren’t. Maybe that’s why you’re attracted to him.”
Kim’s words strike so deeply, I visibly flinch.
“You know, in the summer camp, this Buddha priest chap told us an interesting tidbit,” she continues.
“What?”
“Souls are attracted to each other.”
After saying goodbye, I stand rooted at the entrance, her last words playing like an echo in my head.
Souls are attracted to each other.
Aiden’s soul is black, so what does that make mine?
I’m about to head inside when I catch movement. A black car is parked across from the house right under the streetlamp. The windows are tinted so I can’t see inside.
The car has been there for the entire day before I went to school and after I returned.
An ominous feeling creeps down my spine. It’s like I’ve seen that car before.
Where?
I bolt the door and activate the alarm system.
The house feels so calm, eery and… cold.
I sit down for dinner, but I’m not really hungry. I eat anyway so Aunt won’t feel upset if she finds the boxes as she left them.
Have you thought that maybe you’re living your aunt and uncle’s lives, not yours? Kim’s words return and I shoo them away.
I need to eat, because unlike no one knows, my heart is acting up again. I know I should visit Dr Albert soon, but I need to participate in the track competition first.
The other time, Dr Albert mentioned another surgery. Not only will I kiss track running goodbye, but I might lose precious months that I should use to prepare for college.
I intend to live this year to the fullest, and then when it’s time for the surgery, I will have it.
While I’m eating, I play chess against myself, knocking the black king a few times.
See, I love playing chess. Kim was wrong, not all my interests are linked to Aunt and Uncle. Even if Uncle Jaxon first taught me chess.
After a few rounds, I push the board away and retrieve my phone to check the school’s website.
Then I recall it’s the weekend.
My finger hovers over Instagram. I don’t even pretend to scroll in the feeds, I go straight to Aiden’s profile.
He hasn’t posted anything after that picture of us kissing. It’s so unlike him considering that he posts at least once a day.
When I first saw the picture, I was too mortified to study it properly.
Now, I’m calmer.
Almost.
I zoom in and see how entangled we really are. The look of utter possessiveness and rogue claiming on his face. The look of abandonment on mine.
Some screw was loose at that time.
I scroll down to the comments. No girls gush all over him on this picture. Most are friendly teases from the football team.
Ronan wrote, You better be sorry for stealing my show that night, King.
I blush, remembering how he caught us.
My pulse spikes when I make out the last comment. It’s only minutes ago and it’s from Silver.
Side dish until the actual menu comes.
I stab my fork at the empty plate. What in the ever living hell is her problem? First, I’m a peasant then I’m a side dish?
And the bastard didn’t even delete her comment.
I hit home and throw the phone on the table. With a few calming breaths, I take my plates and do the dishes as calmly as I can manage, not bothering with the washer. I almost break the utensils.
With the water still running, I grip the sink’s edge with both hands as I breathe heavily. I always thought jealousy was for weak, insecure people, but apparently, I’m turning into one, too.
It’s blinding and downright scary how much I want to hurt her for messing with what’s mine.
But then again, Aiden isn’t mine.
Not really.
So I’m being all pissed off about nothing. And that pisses me off more.
I finish the dishes and retreat to my room to study. It’s the only logical thing in my life at the moment.
An hour or so later, I crawl into bed, trying not to think about how Aiden has been bringing my special food every day. How he made sure we’re seen in the halls together so no one bullies me anymore. How he brings me water after practice. How he watches me with that concern when I’m running as if he knows my heart isn’t doing so well.
I shouldn’t appreciate the thoughtful gestures, but I do, and they’re tumbling my defences worse than anything else.
Unable to resist, I check Instagram again. I scroll down to Silver’s comment, but it isn’t there anymore. Not sure if she deleted it or if he did.
My phone vibrates with a text.
Aiden.
I sit up in bed, my heart somersaulting inside its cavity.
Aiden: Can’t sleep. I’m thinking about you.
I should pretend to be asleep, but I just can’t. I’m feeling so off tonight and I’m afraid that if I close my eyes, nightmares will barge in.
I type back.
Elsa: I can’t sleep either.
Aiden: Why?
Elsa: I’m scared of going to sleep sometimes.
I regret that as soon as I hit send. He doesn’t need to know that.
The three dots appear and disappear as if he’s thinking about what to say.
Aiden: I don’t like to sleep either.
I sit up straighter.
Elsa: Why?
Aiden: It’s boring.
Elsa: *eye roll emoji* Really?
Aiden: Remember that ghost I told you about? It visits me often when
I sleep.
Is the ghost his mother?
Before I can reply, he sends another text.
Aiden: How about we distract each other?
Elsa: I don’t like the sound of that.
Aiden: Trust me. You will like it. Eventually.
Aiden: What are you wearing?
Elsa: Seriously? *facepalm emoji* we’re playing this game?
Aiden: Tell me.
Elsa: Fine. PJs with little rabbits on them. Not sexy at all.
Aiden: Let me be the judge of that *wink emoji*
Aiden: Besides, everything is sexy on you.
I try not to blush, but I freaking do.
Aiden: Give me more. What are you wearing under the PJs?
I bite my lower lip as I type.
Elsa: Nothing.
Aiden: Fuck. Now, I want to be the rabbit PJs.
Elsa: And what will you do?
Aiden: Aside from rubbing against you until you come? I have to think of other options PJs have.
Heat blooms between my thighs, and my fingers tremble when I type.
Elsa: What if you were here with me? What would you do with the PJs?
Aiden: Is this a trick question?
Elsa: I want to know...
Aiden: First of all, I’ll rip the thing off you, then I’ll bite your nipple and suck on it until you beg me to stop. I’ll finger fuck you until you come all over my hand, but I won’t stop.
My hand slips under the waistband of my shorts and plunge into my slick folds.
Elsa: No?
Aiden: No. While you’re coming down from the wave, I’ll eat your pussy until you scream all over again. Then I’ll release your hair and hold you with it while I fuck you until both of us pass out.
I rub up and down harder with every word in his texts. It’s not my hand, it’s Aiden’s mouth that’s driving me insane. His fingers inside me, his cock down my throat…
I come with a cry and muffle the sound into my pillow.
My cheeks are so hot, I think they’ll explode.
I can’t believe I just brought myself to orgasm thinking it was Aiden.
My phone vibrates one more time.
Aiden: Don’t sleep.
Ashamed of what I just did — or what he made me do, I groan and stand up, abandoning my phone on the nightstand.
Opening the balcony’s window, I let the chilling air fill my senses. The first droplets of rain hit my nose, and I close my eyes, tipping my head back to let it rinse me.
Cleanse me.
My nostrils fill with the scent of the earth after the rain and I inhale it in.
When I open my eyes, the black car is still there.
My lips tremble as I abandon the rain and crawl back into my bed.
* * *
Whimpers come from the basement.
My little feet follow the sound. I’m whimpering myself, but them whimpers from the basement are louder and more in pain.
Mmmmm.
Mmmm…
Mmmm —
I dart my eyes back expecting the boogieman to follow me down here. Ma says I should never be here because them monsters hide in places like these.
Ma looks like a monster sometimes when she’s talking about him. The one who shall not be named.
Her eyes look black like them Da’s friends.
Sometimes, she hugs and squeezes me till I think I’m joining the one who shall not be named.
“Elsa?”
Oh. No.
If Ma finds me, she’ll squeeze me to death again. I don’t like them monsters in her eyes because Da won’t stop hitting her when she has them monsters.
Then his monsters and her monsters become the same.
Them whimpers turn into moans. I stop at the basement’s door and peek through the opening of the key.
Them monsters took another person like the one who shall not be named.
This time, I have to help them. I have to stop them monsters in Ma and Da’s eyes.
“Elsa!!” A blow smacks my back.
My head hits the door and something warm and red trickles down my temple.
I look back and see them monsters.
They’re black.
They’re murky.
They have hole eyes.
My lips tremble as I’m struck again.
Blow.
Blow.
Blow.
“You’ll pay for that, Elsa.”
* * *
I wake up with a start. Sweat trickles down my spine, sticking my PJ’s to my back. I dart my eyes to the side and shriek.
A shadow looms over my bed.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The monster from my childhood stands over my bed like a shadow.
A boogieman.
He’s finally coming for me.
Blood roars in my ears and my heartbeat catches on an irregular, sick rhythm.
Thump.
Th-thump…
Thump...
I screw my lids shut and cover my ears with both my hands. This is a dream. It’s all in my head. The boogieman isn’t real. The monster isn’t real.
No matter how much I chant that, it doesn’t stop the voices from filtering through my high-built fortress.
Murmurs.
Haunted moans.
Pained whimpers.
Heavy footsteps come closer and closer, suffocating me like a vice.
“Hush little baby, don’t you cry...”
No. I place both hands on my ears, trying to suffocate the haunting sound.
I hate that song. I hate the way she sings it with that manic humming and them monsters in her eyes.
“...everything is going to be alright…”
NO!
“Mama’s gonna buy you a little toy… and if that toy doesn’t work, Mama will bring you another one...”
No, no, no...
“You’ll never escape me, Elsa.”
“You’re my masterpiece, Elsa.”
“Elsa.”
“Elsa…”
“Elsa!”
They won’t have me.
Not again.
Never again.
I hit at his chest with both fists. His arms surround me, making me nauseous. I swore I’d never let him put his hands on me anymore.
Not again.
Not this time.
“Maaa!” I screech.
She can help me. She has to help me. That’s what mothers do, right? They save their children from them monsters.
“Ma, help —”
My voice and my breathing cut off.
I’m thrown into water. Dark, murky, bottomless water.
I gasp, but only water fills my throat, my lungs… all of me.
Thrashing, I try to surface, to find refuge from them monsters.
A hand holds my head underwater. It’s suffocating. It fills my nostrils, my mouth, and my frantic eyes.
I can’t breathe.
Please, Ma.
Please, Da.
P-please, help me.
Cold shocks my skin and my limbs turn numb.
I’m floating, drifting…
It’s useless to fight it.
Maybe the one who shall not be named fought it, too. Maybe that’s why his name isn’t spoken anymore.
Maybe I’ll be like him.
Through the foggy haze, someone calls my name with an edge to their voice.
He’s calling my name.
I won’t be like the one who shall not be named.
He knows my name.
“Can you see me behind them monsters?” I ask in my head.
“I do.”
I don’t think he does, but I hold on to that glimmer of a voice.
It’s soothing.
So soothing.
Maybe them monsters are invisible to him.
He sees me like no one did before.
He sees ME.
* * *
“Elsa!”
Like being hauled from the depth of an ocean, I gasp and my e
yes pop open.
My vision is blurry and all I see are dark shadows. My heartbeat doesn’t calm, thinking I’m at that place again.
However, the arms surrounding me aren’t scary. If anything, they’re soothing. It’s like an escape I couldn’t find back then.
I blink the tears from my blurry vision. Furrowed dark features greet me. Strands of his dark hair fall on his forehead.
I blink once. Twice. He doesn’t disappear.
“A-Aiden?” My voice is so hoarse, I barely manage to get the words out.
“It’s okay.” He strokes my back in tiny circles. “You’re not alone. I’m here.”
I don’t know if it’s because of his words or because of the nightmares I just had.
I don’t care either.
My fingers curl into his T-shirt, my forehead falls against the hardness of his chest, and I let the tears loose.
Sobs wreck my chest, and I let it all out. I don’t even know what I’m crying about.
They were only nightmares. They aren’t real.
They can’t be real.
I curl further into Aiden’s lap and hold tighter onto him. He’s real. His warmth and the strange sense of security I feel in his arms is real.
The nightmares aren’t.
Aiden puts a hand under my bottom and pulls me onto him so I’m sitting on his lap. I wrap my legs around his waist, strangling him.
He doesn’t complain.
He remains silent, stroking my back, my hair and the side of my arm.
I couldn’t be more thankful for his calm, anchor-like presence. He’s here, but he’s not talking. He’s letting me deal with it on my own.
The last time I had an episode like this, strangely, two years ago right after my first day in RES, Aunt and Uncle freaked.
And I mean, they literally freaked.
I thought Aunt was with the monster and I hit her. I screamed and cursed at her. I didn’t stop until Uncle locked her out of the room.
When I regained my consciousness, Aunt wouldn’t stop asking me what I saw. She had a horrified sick look on her face like she was going to throw up. In the morning, they took me to Dr Khan and I had therapy sessions for almost six months.
Since then, I’ve been avoiding nightmares, or at least, the strong crippling ones that seem so… real.
For two years, I never bothered Aunt and Uncle with my nightmares even when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Even when what I saw — what I felt — scared the hell out of me.