Her Alaskan Cowboy

by Belle Calhoune

  When Jasper came up for air, he shouted out, “Everyone head outside for the fireworks in celebration of my sweetheart’s birthday.”

  “I love fireworks,” Honor gushed.

  “I’m not sure Violet will enjoy it,” Joshua said. “She doesn’t like loud noises. It might startle her.”

  Honor felt a stab of disappointment. It was nice to spend time with Joshua in a relaxed setting where they weren’t fussing about injunctions and the sale of Bud’s ranch. She’d forgotten how good it felt just to talk to him. For once her brothers weren’t glaring at Joshua and creating an uncomfortable vibe. Something told her she had Paige and Grace to thank for reining her brothers in.

  “That’s a good point. I always forget how kids and dogs react to fireworks,” Honor said, trying to hide her disappointment.

  “Go ahead and join the festivities, Honor. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine staying behind,” Joshua said.

  Grace, who was standing beside them, turned in their direction.

  “Joshua. Why don’t you let Violet stay with me back here at the café? Eva is way too young for fireworks and I’m watching Emma as well so Paige and Cameron can enjoy the fireworks.”

  “Are you sure it wouldn’t be too much for you?” Joshua asked. “Three little ones can be a handful.”

  “Of course I’m sure,” Grace said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I’ve got eyes in the back of my head.”

  “That’s nice of you, Grace,” Joshua said, grinning at her. “I’ll take you up on the offer.”

  “Sure thing,” Grace said, reaching out for Violet, who easily went into the crook of her arm. With a girl on each hip, Grace said, “Go on and enjoy the fireworks. I’ll set the kids up in the back room. Cameron keeps a playpen and toys and blankets in there. It’ll be a party for the baby and toddler set.”

  After grabbing their coats, Joshua and Honor walked outside to Jarvis Street and followed the other guests as they walked over to the town green. Honor and Joshua walked side by side down the street. A few of the townsfolk openly stared at them. Honor was past the point of caring. She wanted to be on civil terms with Joshua. It felt good to know that they’d managed to push past the drama and the conflict, if only for this moment in time.

  The sound of fireworks exploding in the sky above them rent the air. Honor let out a gasp as a myriad of colors lit up the onyx sky. Greens and reds. Purples and whites. Threads of silver and gold. She gazed up at the sky, marveling at the fiery beauty of the explosion of colors.

  “It’s spectacular, isn’t it?” Honor asked, turning toward Joshua. He wasn’t looking up at the fireworks. He was staring at her, his eyes full of an intensity that made her shiver.

  “I can’t argue with you on that,” he drawled. “You are spectacular, Honor Prescott. You always have been.”

  Honor let the compliment wash over her. It felt nice to hear it from Joshua’s lips. Back in the day he had used his silver tongue to court her, and she’d quickly fallen for his smooth delivery and boyish charm. She felt butterflies tumbling around in her belly. She should be guarding her heart against the threat Joshua represented, but all she wanted to do in this moment was revel in his company and bask in his sweet compliment. No other man had the ability to make her feel the way Joshua did.

  As fireworks continued to burst in the sky up above, they stood side by side with their arms touching, watching the brilliant pyrotechnic display. As it died down, folks began to meander away from the town green.

  “Let’s take the long way back,” Joshua suggested. “It’ll give me an opportunity to take a walk down memory lane and check out the new additions to this area. I really haven’t had an opportunity to explore.”

  “Okay,” Honor agreed, stuffing her mittened hands in her jacket pockets as they headed toward Jarvis Street. The temperature had dipped down, making it much colder than it had been this afternoon. “There are a few changes here in town you might not have seen yet.”

  “Looking forward to it,” Joshua said. “Bud used to talk my ear off about Hazel’s boot company and the cannery that never opened. He really loved this town.”

  “And we loved him back. I used to enjoy it when he would come sit with me for a cup of coffee at the Moose Café. He would just saunter over and sit with me at my table.” She let out a ragged sigh. “I miss his sly sense of humor and his knock-knock jokes. They were terrible, but I pretended to love each and every one of them.”

  “That was awfully sweet of you. Theo and I used to tell him not to give up his day job because he was never going to make it as a comedian.”

  They both laughed as the memories of Bud Ransom washed over them like a cool spring rain.

  “That was a pretty great speech Jasper made about Hazel. I have to admit, I didn’t think he had it in him. He always struck me as the curmudgeon type.”

  Honor smirked. “Jasper is full of surprises. And marriage to Hazel has truly enriched his life. It’s really been gratifying to watch their love story unfold.”

  “It reminds me of my grandparents. Bud lost a huge chunk of himself when my grandmother died. They were soul mates.”

  “Speaking of marriage, you never wanted to remarry and give Violet a mother?” she asked. She must be a glutton for punishment for even inquiring. It hurt to imagine Joshua with a wife and family.

  “Not really. Of course I’ve thought about it, but I want something that’s built to last,” he answered with a shrug. “Lauren and I didn’t make it very long. Our marriage was a train wreck. I would love for Violet to have a mother, but I certainly don’t want a second marriage to fail.”

  “I’m sorry. It must have been painful to go through that,” she said, her mind whirling with questions. Their marriage had been short-lived, yet they had clearly reunited years later and conceived Violet. Although she yearned to ask Joshua that very thing, Honor didn’t feel she had the right to probe.

  “You’re probably wondering about Violet, huh?” he asked.

  She let out a sigh of relief. “To be honest, I am. Bud said you got married not that long after you left Love. There are some gaps in the story I can’t quite figure out. The timing doesn’t add up.”

  “You’re right. I met Lauren in Singapore about four months after I left town. She was over there with her parents who were missionaries. We got married after a whirlwind courtship, then set up house as soon as we landed stateside.” He clenched his teeth. “It was foolish on both our parts. She was getting over someone who’d been killed in the army.” He locked gazes with Honor. “And I was still very much in love with you.”

  Her stomach tensed. Joshua was basically telling her he had married his ex-wife on the rebound. It made her heart ache to hear it. At the very same time, Honor had been struggling to get over him and mourning the loss of their child.

  Her throat felt dry. “Did you ever love her?”

  He shook his head. “I cared about Lauren and I thought I was in love with her, but I don’t think either of us truly loved each other. Not in the truest sense of the word. If we did, I think we would have fought harder to stay together. It didn’t even come close to the way I felt about you.”

  Something flickered between them. An electric pulse hummed and crackled in the air. Honor could almost feel her heart swelling inside her chest.

  Honor frowned. “But clearly you must have reunited with Lauren when Violet was conceived?”

  “There’s something I didn’t tell you about Violet,” Joshua said, a hint of strain in his voice. He hesitated for a moment. “It will probably answer all your questions. She’s not my biological child.”

  * * *

  Honor gasped. He could see the surprise on her lovely face. Her blue-gray eyes widened. Her lips parted. Joshua could see the questions emanating from her eyes.

  “Lauren and I stayed in touch after the divorce. Every now and again she would
drive from Tacoma to see me and we would go to church together or eat at a nice Italian restaurant. She even introduced me to her boyfriend once. I got the impression she was looking for my approval. I didn’t hesitate to give it to her, Honor. He seemed like a good enough guy and I wanted her to be happy. She wanted the same for me.

  “About a year ago, I got a call from her begging me to travel to Tacoma to see her. When I got there, I noticed two things. She was heavily pregnant and she looked really ill. She had dark shadows under her eyes and she was rail-thin despite her pregnancy. It was alarming.”

  Honor frowned. “What was wrong with her?”

  “She had breast cancer. And she suspended all treatment while she was carrying Violet. More than anything in the world, she wanted a healthy baby. The cancer was very aggressive though. Lauren knew she wasn’t going to make it. She was just holding on long enough to deliver her baby girl.” He swallowed past the huge lump sitting in his throat. “It turns out her boyfriend dumped her and bailed when he found out she was sick. He refused to step up as a father, so I agreed to assume that role. It gave her the peace she needed before she passed. I’ve never regretted it for a single second.”

  She raised a hand to her throat. “Oh, Joshua,” Honor said, wiping away stray tears. Sniffling noises emanated from her. “Of course you don’t regret it. How could you ever?”

  “Honor, she’s mine in every way that matters. It’s thicker than blood. I chose to be her father. I’ve been on my own with Violet since she was a few weeks old. I had no clue how to care for a baby or even change a diaper. But I knew I was her father. I loved her from the day she came into this world.”

  Watching Honor’s emotional reaction caused a fierce response inside him. It felt as if his heart was being squeezed inside his chest. He hated to see her cry. He reached out and wiped away a tear as it slid past her lower lid.

  Her lips trembled. “Joshua. What an unselfish act! You didn’t have any legal ties to Lauren, but you stepped in to raise her child. If you hadn’t done so, she might have ended up in foster care. She’s one fortunate little girl.”

  “To be honest, I think I’m the blessed one. Being Violet’s father is the most important role I’ve ever played. It gave me a shot at redemption for all the rotten things I did here in town. It made me a grown-up.”

  “I get it. God was watching out for Violet. And you as well. He put the two of you together and now you’re a family.”

  Joshua grinned. “Yes, indeed. Now we’re a family. She’s my entire world.”

  “I appreciate you sharing all of it with me. I know it’s quite personal.”

  “So, now that I’ve told you my story, I have a question for you. Why are you still single?”

  Honor bit her lip. “Hmm. That’s rather tricky to explain. After I refused to be a part of the Operation Love program, I think the local men gave up on me.” She twisted her mouth. “A lot of them are afraid of my brothers. Some folks think they’re intimidating.” She arched an eyebrow in his direction.

  “Hey! I wasn’t afraid of them!” Joshua protested, holding up his hands.

  Honor giggled and shook her head. “Whatever you say.”

  “Well, maybe I was a little bit afraid of Boone,” he conceded. “He was mean. And he walked around with that gold sheriff’s badge on his jacket pocket. From the first time he saw me, your brother didn’t like me.”

  “I don’t think that’s true, Joshua. To be fair, he only started to dislike you when we began dating.”

  The Prescott brothers had always been protective of their little sister. She had been the jewel in their crown. As the oldest, Boone had taken it upon himself to act as Honor’s guardian. It had driven her crazy to be treated like a child, which had led to many fights between Honor and Boone.

  Being a father provided Joshua with insight. He knew without a shadow of a doubt he would protect Violet’s heart the same way Boone had tried to safeguard Honor. And Lord help the young man if he acted as wild and foolish as he once had.

  “I sure gave him plenty of reasons to dislike me,” Joshua said, reflecting on his teenage antics. “It must have been hard to see your boyfriend go head-to-head with your brother so often. Sadly, I never really stopped to consider how my actions affected other people. I wonder sometimes how things might have been different if I had acted accordingly.”

  “It’s impossible to go back and change the past.” There was tension laced in Honor’s voice. He wondered if she was thinking about what might have been if the circumstances had been different.

  He reached for her chin and lifted it up so their gazes locked.

  “I’m sorry for every ounce of pain I inflicted on you,” he said in a tender voice. “And I hate that we’re on opposite sides regarding Bud’s estate.”

  Honor shrugged. “It can’t be helped, can it? It’s just the way it is.”

  “I suppose not,” he said, gently stroking the line of her jaw with his finger. “Honor Prescott, you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. For the record, any man would be fortunate to have you.” His own words served as a reminder of how blessed he’d once felt to have been loved by Honor. “And I know it’s been a long time since we’ve done this, but I’d like to kiss you.”

  Chapter Eleven

  I’d like to kiss you.

  It had been a long time since Honor had kissed a man. The last time she had kissed Joshua he’d been more boy than man. If she was being honest with herself, this kiss had been in the back of her mind since she’d first seen him at the ranch a few weeks ago. But with so much standing between them, a kiss had seemed impossible.

  Her mouth felt dry. All she could do was nod. He dipped his head down and placed his mouth over hers in a tender, romantic meeting of their lips. He tasted sweet like cinnamon. As his lips moved over hers, Honor wished it could go on forever and ever.

  Kissing Joshua felt like coming home. It was familiar and achingly gentle. It took her back to a more innocent time when she had believed in fairy-tale endings and enduring love. Her nostrils were filled with the rich, woodsy scent of him. She raised her hands up and trailed her fingers along the nape of his neck. Her fingers brushed against his hair.

  When the kiss ended, Joshua swept his lips against her temple. His touch was feather light. He threaded his hands through her hair and pulled her back toward him for another kiss. When they finally broke apart, Honor felt breathless.

  This is what had been missing from her life for all this time. Sparks. Not a single man had ever made her feel the way Joshua did. This feeling of being one with another person. A connection that withstood separation and pain and disappointment.

  Joshua ran his palm against the side of her face. “Honor. You’re making me feel like I’m sixteen all over again.”

  She looked up into his eyes. “I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Not since we were together,” she whispered.

  “I feel the same way,” he said, letting out a deep breath.

  Fear rose up inside her. Joshua felt something, too. It made it all the more real and frightening. She had been down this road before and gotten terribly hurt in the process. It was like playing with fire. This pull she felt toward Joshua could cause her heartbreak down the road. Sharing a kiss didn’t change a thing. There were still huge chasms between them.

  For so long Honor had stuffed her emotions down, fearful of cracking into little pieces. She had mourned the loss of Joshua so fiercely that her heart hadn’t been able to open itself up to anyone else ever since.

  Was she just getting carried away by the moment? She was a very sentimental person. Perhaps that’s all this was. Nostalgia over the past and her first love. An inability to close the door on something that had ended a long time ago.

  “I can tell your brain is racing with a hundred different thoughts.” He reached out and smoothed a spot on her forehead with hi
s fingers. “And this little frown needs to go away. Stop worrying so much.”

  Honor couldn’t think of a single thing to say. She had been worried ever since Joshua stepped foot back in town. It always felt as if raging rivers stood between them. On some level they both knew that this brief interlude would quickly fade away in the harsh light of day. When they each woke up tomorrow morning, nothing will have changed. If the injunction held out, there would be resentment simmering between them. And if the sale of the ranch was approved, Joshua would be leaving Love and returning to the life he’d built in Seattle.

  It was best to focus on lighter things. If only for tonight. When Joshua had told her about embracing Violet as his own despite the fact that she wasn’t his biological child, Honor had felt a strong urge to tell him about the child they’d lost. But what good would it have done? Much like the rest of their relationship, it was water under the bridge.

  “You said that you wanted to see any new additions to town. I have something to show you,” Honor said, tugging Joshua by the arm and leading him a few feet down the street.

  She stopped in her tracks and pointed at the building. “Look! It’s the Free Library of Love. Isn’t it magnificent?”

  “Wow. It’s fantastic,” Joshua said as he admired the building. “Love is patient. Love is kind. Corinthians.” He read the words imprinted on the front of the library.

  “Love never fails,” Honor said, wishing in her heart it was true. Love had failed both of them in the past. And here she stood with Joshua in the moonlight having just shared a fantastic embrace with him. She must be all kinds of crazy to have ventured down that road with him again.

  “A brand-new library is a great addition to Love,” Joshua said, admiring the structure. “I’m not sure if I would have spent a lot of time here as a teenager,” he said with a chuckle, “but it’s great for the town.”