Razzamatazz

by Sandra Scoppettone

  When the meeting was adjourned Colin and Annie approached Hallock, who immediately shook Annie's hand and thanked her for her support.

  Colin said, "Sorry, Waldo. You don't deserve this."

  "Maybe I do," he answered softly. "Maybe I do."

  "The hell with that," Colin said. "You've done your best. That asshole Schufeldt isn't going to solve this thing."

  "That's what really bothers me."

  "Maybe you can still work on it," Annie suggested.

  "Think so?"

  "Why not? Who can stop a private citizen from doing a little investigating?"

  "You might be right," he acknowledged, a dim light in his eyes.

  "Let's talk, soon," Colin said.

  Annie hugged Hallock.

  He tried to smile and failed.

  Colin saw Mark near the door. He hated board meetings, and Colin wondered what he was doing here.

  "Don't look so surprised, pal. This is the biggest story of my career in Seaville. I don't want to miss anything. Hi, Annie."

  "Sarah was looking for you this morning," she said.

  "Yeah, I know. We got it straightened away." He turned to Colin, "So what do you think of the verdict, your guy being pushed out?"

  Colin was irritated at the almost gleeful sound in Mark's voice. He didn't like Hallock being called his guy, either. "I think it sucks. Not to mention stupid. The only way I can see Schufeldt catching this guy is if he happens to stumble over him in the act."

  "It doesn't seem like Hallock was doing much, screwing around with a lot of names, calling half the people on the Fork. What an asshole thing to get into. Did you know about it before today?"

  He was not going to tell Mark he'd helped Hallock, but he couldn't totally lie. "I knew."

  Mark shook his head as if to say that Colin was an asshole too.

  It was an exceptionally warm day for early June. Colin took off his khaki sport jacket and threw it over his shoulder. He turned to Annie. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

  She nodded and said good-bye to them both.

  "What's going on, pal?"

  "With Annie? I'm taking her out tomorrow night."

  "Great. I'm glad, Colin, no kidding."

  "Let's not make too big a deal out of it, okay?"

  "Hey, listen, I don't want to make you uptight. But I think it's good. Healthy."

  "My car's down there. Where's yours?"

  "Over there," he said, pointing in the opposite direction from Colin's. "See you back at the shop."

  "Right." Walking toward his car, Colin thought he was really looking forward to seeing Annie the next night. He opened the door of the car, tossed his jacket to the passenger side, and climbed in. "Jesus!" he said, "What are you doing here?"

  "Waiting for you," Babe said. She was slumped down in the seat, Colin's jacket slung across her.

  "What do you want?" he asked, sounding harsher than he felt.

  She sat up in the seat, threw his jacket in back. "I want to talk to you. Need to." She smiled, cocking her head to one side, trying to look cute.

  "What about?"

  "Had lunch?"

  He hadn't. "What do you want to talk to me about, Babe?"

  "I'm just longing for some moo shu pork. Let's go to the Peking Palace."

  "They have lousy food," he said.

  "I know but what choice do we have? Confucius say: Lousy moo shu pork is better than no moo shu pork. Come on, let's go."

  "Get out of the car, Babe."

  "I do believe he's cross." She batted her green eyes at him in mock fear.

  "Out."

  Suddenly her eyes lost their playful gleam, turning hard like two pieces of jade. "I think you'd better talk to me, Colin. I'm not kidding."

  "Out," he said again, but with less conviction. He sensed danger.

  She got out, then leaned back in. "I know you can't drive with me in the car, so meet me at the Peking. I want to talk to you about something very important. A murder. In fact, three murders. They happened in Chicago about three years ago."

  She slammed the door.

  LOOKING BACK-75 YEARS AGO

  Last week the Rev. Dr. John L. Scudder of Seaville stated that he was thinking of starting an Anti-Kissing Society. Then, with great seriousness, the progressive clergyman amplified his views on the pernicious habit of kissing. "Kissing is a pretty custom, but there is such a thing as kissing a person to death," said he. "If the kisser has tuberculosis or diphtheria, there is great danger that the disease will be communicated to the kissee. It is time to start Anti-Kissing leagues throughout America."

  TWENTY-TWO

  Perfection. That's what he strived for, always. Never managed it before. This time he was succeeding. Better than he'd imagined. Making them all crazy. What a touch of genius to put the undertaker on his own slab. Wished he could've seen the father find the son. Hearing about it was pretty good but not the same. They were saying Ted Carroll could be heard clear down to Bay View, screaming his lungs out. And the mother, later. Had to give her a shot, they said. Felt sorry for the girl, Debbie, though. Not her fault, nothing connected there. She'll find another guy.

  It's merely justice that I seek. Is that so terrible? I get no justice any other way. You can't rely on the police, God knows. Not then, not now. Not ever. If you want results you must be aggressive. Assertive. Plan your plan. Make your move. Make a sad song better. But not anyone could do it. It takes insight, imagination, power. These three things have been my legacy. Three is the lucky number. If you have three you have a bonus. Bonus. Bonus is the whole bunch of them, the whole lousy town's scared. Who's next? they wonder. Who's next? So dumb. All they'd have to do is think. Put it together. Put their heads together. Think back. Look back. Yes, it's true. Simple is best. If you complicate things you get nowhere. Alphabets. Initials. What shit. What will they think of next? They cannot see the forest for the trees. They are simply-spellbound!

  LOOKING BACK -25 YEARS AGO

  Whitey's Dockside Restaurant has received national recognition in the new edition of "Duncan Hines' Adventures in Good Eating" just off the press. It is the only restaurant in Seaville included among the 3,500 selected restaurants "Recommended by Duncan Hines," out of a total one-third million eating places in North America.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Hallock sat in the parking lot of the Seaville Nursing Home. The two most important women in his life for the last thirty years or so had been Fran and his mother. Three years before his mother had had a stroke that paralyzed her on one side. She couldn't be there for him anymore. In the last months she seemed to be slipping away, in a world of her own, talking a lot about her mother. It was painful and hard to watch. Still, he needed to see her today as he always did when things went wrong. Usually he went to her after Fran. But not today. Maybe not ever again. He didn't want to think about Fran now.

  Looking down at his hat and gun on the seat beside him, he couldn't believe he'd never wear them again. Goddamn Schufeldt. Goddamn town. Who the hell was he kidding? You can't stay at the top if you're sliding toward the bottom. The fact was, he didn't have a clue to who this killer was. Maybe he'd been going at it wrong. Maybe? That was a laugh. He must've been nuts to try that scheme with the initials. But he couldn't believe he'd been publicly humiliated by that snot, Julia Dorman. The trouble with her was she'd had a husband who didn't love her, married her for her money, and everybody knew it. Including her. But Fran? Fran had a husband who adored her. So how could she have sat there like a lump and listened to that bitch pull him down? Ah, hell.

  He took his gun out of the holster, rested it on his leg. How many cops had taken their.38s and just left all their troubles behind? One of the first things he'd heard as a rookie were the stories about cops "eating their guns." Mostly big-city cops, but occasionally a country cop would stick the barrel in his mouth and pull the trigger. Hallock shut his eyes. The image was terrible. No matter how bad things got he couldn't imagine doing that. He returned the gun to its holster.


  Lifting his butt, he pulled his Sam Browne around his waist and buckled it in front. Technically he wasn't supposed to wear the gun any longer, but he didn't want his mother to know what had happened. More than likely she wouldn't even notice, but sometimes she was surprisingly lucid. He picked up his cap, set it on his head, checked his rearview and caught a good look at his face. Christ almighty, he thought, who the hell is that? Quickly he got out of the car.

  As always when he first entered the nursing home, his sense of smell was assaulted, but by the time he left he had become used to it. As nursing homes went this one was pretty good, he was told. Still, there was no way to avoid the institutional feeling of the place, light green walls, tile floors, the hollow sound as you walked to your destination.

  "Hi, Chief," June Lynch, the head nurse, called.

  He hadn't the heart to tell her he was no longer the chief. "Hey there, June. How you doing?"

  From under her cap yellow curls, like dandelions, framed her face. "Okay. You?"

  What was she going to think when she heard? That he was a damn liar, that's what. "Doing fine. How's my mom?"

  June came out from behind the desk, stuck a skinny arm through his and walked down the hall with him. "Well, Chief, she's in and out today, know what I mean?"

  "Uh-huh."

  "But she's been a good girl. Ate all her lunch."

  "That's good."

  Marion Hallock was tied in her wheel chair, staring straight ahead.

  June shouted, "Look who's here, Mrs. Hallock!"

  Hallock knew his mother wasn't deaf, guessed June was just in the habit of shouting at her patients.

  "Your best beau," June added.

  The left side of Marion's face drooped. When she spoke she looked like she was sneering. "Not my beau," she said with contempt, "he's my son. My beau's dead."

  June knew Marion's husband was very much alive. "Isn't she something?" she said to Hallock, trying to make a joke out of it. "She's our Peck's bad girl sometimes."

  Marion looked disgusted and turned away.

  "Well, have a nice visit. See you later."

  Hallock kissed his mother on the forehead. She looked up at him, pale blue eyes like bleached denim. "Woman's a horse's ass."

  Hallock smiled. "Ah, Mom, she's just trying to be friendly."

  "What for? Got all the friends I need. Saying you're my beau. Stupid. My beau's dead."

  "Why are you saying that, Mom? Dad's not dead." He sat on the edge of the bed.

  "Oh, him," she said contemptuously.

  "Who else?"

  The right side of her face smiled. "Never mind. Just forget it."

  Hallock remembered some garbled story about his mother and Ben Davis, the Chrysler dealer in Bay View, about forty years ago. He couldn't recall the details now, the whole thing had been hazy then. "You talking about Ben Davis, Mom?" He took her good hand in his.

  "He's dead," she said, not looking at him. "Died in that fire."

  "What fire?"

  "That damn club."

  "Oh, yeah." Hallock remembered that most people had gotten out but ten or twelve had died. He'd forgotten Ben Davis was one of them. Who else? It was twenty, twenty-five years ago, he couldn't remember. "Was Ben Davis your beau?"

  Marion Hallock touched a wisp of white hair that had fallen loose from her bun, then tucked it back in place. "Don't go playing chief of police with me, Waldo. I don't go for it."

  "I'll never do it again," he said. "I promise." And he never would, not with her, not with anyone. Suddenly the reality of his dismissal was shattering. He wished he were small enough to sit in his mother's lap, have her stroke his hair, kiss his cheeks, tell him not to worry, it would all work out.

  Marion broke through his thoughts. "Who are you?" she asked, pulling her hand from his. "Just who the hell are you?"

  "Mom," he whispered.

  "I'm going to ring for the nurse if you don't get yourself out of here. Policeman or no policeman."

  "No policeman," he said.

  "What's that?"

  He bent to kiss her. She pulled back.

  "Get," she commanded.

  "So long, Mom. See you tomorrow."

  "Don't come back here, I'll get the real police." Hallock said, "Yeah, you do that." He hurried down the hall, ducked past the front desk and got outside before anyone could see the tears streaking his face.

  – -

  Colin stared at the hill of fried rice on his plate, the moo shu pork, its pancake slowly unwrapping. He'd been stunned by Babe's parting shot, and dutifully followed her to the Peking Palace.

  "You're not eating," Babe said.

  "I told you I wasn't hungry. What do you want, Babe?" He pushed the plate to one side, lit a cigarette.

  "Are you going to smoke while I eat?"

  "Yes."

  "That's rude, Colin."

  "Tough. What do you want?" She'd been playing a game, refusing to talk until the food came. Now it was here, and she still wasn't talking. "Either you tell me what you have up your sleeve or I'm leaving."

  "I don't think so," she said, a piece of rice stuck on her lower lip.

  She was right, of course, she had him by the short hairs. Colin stared at the grain of rice clinging to her mouth. "I came to this goddamn place with you, so what are you waiting for? Tell me what you want, for Christ's sake."

  She picked up her roll of moo shu pork. Colin grabbed her wrist, squeezed. "You're hurting me," she said.

  "That's the idea." He tightened his grip and her hand opened, the filling dropping from the unfurled pancake.

  "Stop it," she hissed, looking frantically around the room, fearful they'd be seen.

  "Then tell me what you want."

  "All right, let go."

  He did. The pancake clung to her palm for a moment, then dropped with a splat onto the plate.

  "You're a bastard," she said, rubbing her wrist. "You could have broken it."

  "I'm waiting," he said.

  "It's simple. I know about your wife and children."

  "Know what?"

  "I know they were murdered."

  "So?"

  "I know you were a suspect."

  "So?"

  "I know they never found the killer."

  "So?"

  "It's an unsolved case."

  "I'm not getting your drift, Babe."

  "No? That's funny, I thought you were kind of bright. I guess you can't ever tell by appearances, can you?" She sat back in her chair, continuing to rub her wrist.

  "You're not telling me anything I don't know."

  "Well, how about this then: Other people in this town who don't know about it might find it very interesting, like your boss maybe?"

  Colin smiled, blew a plume of smoke toward the ceiling. "He already knows."

  Her face fell like a bad soufflé. "I don't believe it."

  "Ask him."

  She leaned toward him, her hands clutching the edge of the table. "Do the police know, too?"

  "No, the police don't know. I take it you mean Schufeldt."

  "Any police."

  "So what's your point, Babe? Are you blackmailing me?"

  She laughed like the sound of squealing tires. "Oh, I love it. I just love it. Blackmail!" she snorted.

  "What then?"

  She lit a cigarette, let the smoke curl out from her mouth and drift upwards while she looked at Colin from under heavy lids. And then she began to blink, eyes watering.

  Colin laughed. "You don't make a good Mata Hari, Babe."

  "Fuck you," she said.

  "Oh, is that what this is about?"

  She dropped the cigarette in the metal ashtray and wiped her eyes with her napkin. A trail of mascara streaked one cheek. "What this is all about," she snarled, "is that for the first time in its history, the North Fork has had a rash of unexplained killings and among its citizens is a man who, in his past, was involved in three murders. Coincidence? Maybe."

  Rage worked its way up from Colin's gut
to his chest. "Are you implying that I not only killed my family but I've killed the four people here as well?"

  She picked up the chopsticks, caught some moo shu pork between them, popped it into her mouth, and began to chew, a slight smile playing around her lips.

  "Babe, answer my question," he demanded.

  "Let's put it this way, Colin: it makes a damn good story."

  He was grateful that they were in a public place. He'd never felt this kind of rage before. The anger he'd experienced over his family being murdered was different. That was laced with abandonment, helplessness, the fury free-floating. But this anger was clear and pointed. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, Babe."

  "Really? Why?"

  Colin breathed deeply, trying to ward off the beginning of a panic attack. "A good story for whom?" he asked softly.

  "Well, I was thinking about the Seaville Gazette, but since Mark knows who he's got working for him I guess that's out. But I'd bet Newsline wouldn't be above using it."

  Under the table he could feel his legs shaking. "So why have you told me, if that's what you plan to do?"

  "I thought maybe we could make a deal?"

  "Like what?"

  "I want your job, Colin. And I deserve your job. I've worked for Mark since the beginning. We had a tacit agreement that I'd be the next managing editor, at least I thought we had. Then you got the job. It wasn't fair."

  "What is?" he interjected.

  "So how about it?"

  Colin's breathing was accelerating; he was beginning to feel lightheaded. "How about what?"

  "Your job. Aren't you listening?"

  "You expect me to hand over my job to you? Don't be stupid. Even if I were to leave, what makes you think Mark would give my job to you?"

  "He would. He'd have to."

  Colin laughed. "You have stuff on Mark, too?"

  Her eyes were cold. "The reason Mark gave you my job was because he was an old friend, and you were having some kind of breakdown in New Jersey. He thought a job on a country paper might help you. That wasn't hard to find out. But if you left there's no doubt the job would be mine."