Shades of Simon Gray

by Joyce McDonald

  Simon would have liked nothing better than to go to the police and tell them what he had done. But because Kyle had decided to follow through, to attend Harvard in the fall, Simon would carry his secret to the grave. He’d given his word to Kyle. Enough lives had been ruined lately. And there were Danny and Devin to consider.

  Danny had gone from a solid A in physics to a C in just two weeks and had more or less tossed in the towel. He knew his acceptance by Dartmouth was going down the tubes right along with his grades that marking period. In his own way, he seemed relieved. He told Simon he planned to go to California that summer, maybe apply to some schools out there.

  Devin, too, had chosen a different route.

  The day before, when the McCaffertys had come to take Devin’s grandmother home, Devin stopped in to see him. She sat at the foot of his bed, looking more beautiful than Simon could ever remember, her red hair shimmering in the sunlight from the window, and told him she was going to the community college in the fall. She was smiling, looking more relaxed and happy than he had seen her in a long time. She didn’t have to explain her decision. Simon understood exactly why she’d done it. Secretly, he was glad she wouldn’t be going away to school next year, especially since she’d told him she’d broken up with Kyle.

  Any chance he had with Devin was a long shot. But hadn’t he just beaten the odds? Hadn’t he returned from the dead? Maybe he had good reason to hope.

  He wondered if Devin would visit him as often as she had over the past few days, now that her grandmother was no longer in the hospital. He doubted it. But then, the very next afternoon, after school, there she was, standing in his doorway, holding one of the school’s laptops. She had talked Dr. Schroder into letting Simon use it while he was recovering. Simon chose to take Devin’s unexpected visit as a good sign.

  In a few days the tutor his father had hired would begin coming each morning. Simon would have assignments to complete, work to keep him busy. He looked forward to it. He had too much time on his hands right now. Too much time to think about the past.

  And there was something else, something that hovered on the edge of his consciousness, a dream he’d had while in the coma. The image of Jessup Wildemere continued to haunt him. It was so vivid and alive that at times Simon found it difficult to convince himself the time he’d spent with Jessup wasn’t real.

  The next day, when Liz showed up after school, she said, “You know that stupid paper I had to do for Mrs. Rosen?” She parked herself at the foot of Simon’s bed.

  “The one on Jessup Wildemere?” Simon wondered if maybe the whole Jessup experience had been nothing more than an illusion triggered by Liz. She’d spent half the marking period talking to him about her paper. It seemed like a reasonable enough explanation. So why was his heart pounding so loudly the sound almost blocked his ears?

  Liz nodded and pulled a book from her backpack. The cover was leather, worn and cracked in places. “Well, I blew it big-time. She gave me a D plus. She said it read as if I’d written it in my sleep. Which isn’t all that far from the truth. But I redeemed myself with my oral report. A plus. You would have enjoyed it. I had them spellbound. Nobody could believe what I’d found out.”

  Simon didn’t say a word; he just listened as Liz told him how she’d all but given up on her paper, when a week before it was due, she’d found a journal.

  Lucinda Alderman’s journal. Joseph Alderman’s wife. The man whose fence Jessup had helped to build. Simon was stunned. Joseph Alderman had actually existed.

  “I can’t believe I lucked out like this,” Liz said. She turned the pages of the journal to a place she had marked with a slip of paper. “You know how everybody thinks Jessup killed Cornelius Dobbler and after he was tried in the tavern, the residents of this fine town took him out and hanged him?”

  Simon barely nodded.

  “Well, all those tales are just that: tales. Actually, tall tales is more like it.” Liz bent over the book and began to read the passage about Jessup’s coming to work for Joseph. She read Lucinda’s account of Jessup’s appearance—a comely and well-educated young man—and how she suspected that Jessup was falling in love with Hannah Dobbler. She read how Joseph had buried him beneath the Liberty Tree on the outskirts of their land, and about the funeral for Cornelius Dobbler.

  The real account was even worse than Simon could have imagined. Hannah hadn’t just told the men where to find Jessup, she had accused him of murdering her father. If Liz hadn’t been there, Simon might have let himself cry. No one else, except perhaps Lucinda Alderman, as far as he knew, had shed tears for Jessup Wildemere.

  When Liz had read all the marked passages, she closed the journal. “Incredible, huh? They hanged him without a trial, like some wild-ass bunch of vigilantes.”

  “They murdered an innocent man,” Simon told her.

  “Well, not exactly,” Liz said, shifting her weight and slipping the journal into her backpack. “That’s only Lucinda’s take on it.”

  Simon wanted to tell Liz that Lucinda’s take was probably as close to the truth as anyone had gotten. He wanted to tell her about Jessup, about the time he had spent with him while he was in the coma. But in the end, all he said was “You need to let people know what really happened.”

  “I did, in my oral report. And it’s all in the paper I handed in to Rosen.”

  “No. I mean, write a story for the local paper or something. You have the evidence.” He pointed toward her backpack.

  Liz shrugged. “I guess I could make copies of the pages before I sneak the journal back where I found it.”

  “Show them.”

  “Who?”

  “The people at the historical society. Show them what you found.”

  “Oh, right, like anybody in this town is going to want to hear how the only hanging that ever took place in the entire county might have been a murder. That’s not the kind of dirty laundry people like to see airing on their clotheslines.”

  Simon knew all about keeping secrets, about hiding the truth. He had his own dirty laundry stashed away in a mental hamper.

  Liz stared down at her backpack. She let out a deep sigh. “Well … there was this reporter from The Star-Ledger here last week, covering the West Nile virus story. He mentioned the Wildemere legend in his article. He might be interested. I could send him the information I have.”

  “Do it, okay? Tell him what you discovered.”

  “Why? What’s the big deal?”

  “Just do it to make things right.”

  That night, Simon began to write a poem about Jessup Wildemere. When he thought about the night of the accident, the image of a shadowy figure standing in front of the Liberty Tree crept into his memory. He remembered how the form had taken the shape of a man in his headlights. Even before Simon’s foot had hit the gas, the dark shape had been there. Maybe the shadowy form had been Jessup’s spirit. Or maybe it was nothing more than a shadow created by the glare of the headlights. Only in this poem would Simon allow himself to give voice to what he could not quite bring himself to believe, that Jessup’s soul had been waiting there, beneath the oak tree, all along, waiting more than two hundred years to tell someone his story, waiting for someone to set the record straight.

  Then, one day at the end of May, just when the people of Bellehaven had begun to breathe a little easier, a story about Jessup Wildemere appeared in The Star-Ledger. The story had been written by a staff reporter and quoted pages from Lucinda Alderman’s journal.

  The residents of Bellehaven flew into an uproar all over again, insisting that Lucinda Alderman’s account was subjective and therefore flawed. They showed the brief account in the court records to prove their point. They claimed Jessup Wildemere was a murderer who was brought to justice. After all, they said, people did things differently in those days.

  No one knew whom to believe.

  As if that weren’t bad enough, a mysterious bronze plaque had appeared next to the Liberty Tree, a few feet from the original plaque. The
inscription sent the town into a frenzy of denial.

  In 1798 Jessup Wildemere, an innocent man falsely accused, was hanged from this tree without benefit of trial or counsel by the good people of Havenhill.

  No one knew who had put it there. But the people of Bellehaven were bound and determined it wouldn’t stay. Special meetings of the town council were held. Petitions were signed. Letters to the editor flooded the offices of the Bellehaven Press. The outrage continued for months. But for some reason, no one ever touched the sign. Perhaps they feared retribution from the ghost of Jessup Wildemere. Perhaps they thought some distant relative had placed the plaque there, and they did not want to cause bad feelings by removing it. Or maybe, just maybe, in their hearts, they suspected there might be a grain of truth to the inscription after all.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I am indebted to a number of people who gave generously of their time and experience to help me with the medical and technical details of this book. Any errors, however, are my own. My thanks to Catherine Belfiore; Mary Piso, RN; Barbara Reed, RN; and Lura Burrell, RN, whose son, at age seventeen, spent four days in a coma. Thank you, Lura, for sharing his experience with me. My thanks also to Arlene Olcheski of the New Jersey State Police, and to my teen advisors: Matt Schanbacher, Jaime Schanbacher, and Aaron Weiner.

  Special thanks to Laurie Halse Anderson for our daily e-mail exchange during those tense weeks before our deadlines and for being so supportive.

  I also wish to thank my agent, Tracey Adams, for reading and commenting on an earlier draft; Pearl Young; and especially my editor, Karen Wojtyla, who skillfully kept me on course without ever taking over the rudder.

  My deepest gratitude goes to my personal in-house computer consultant, my husband, Mac, whose support, as always, goes way beyond the technical.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Joyce McDonald earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees in English from the University of Iowa. After working in publishing for fourteen years, she returned to the academic life and earned a Ph.D. in English from Drew University; she taught at both Drew and East Stroudsburg University for several years. She is the author of five other books for children and young adults, including Shadow People and Swallowing Stones, an ALA Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults. Joyce McDonald lives in northwestern New Jersey with her husband and their cats.

  QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

  1. Joyce McDonald describes the town of Bellehaven as a beautiful, bucolic spot: “… Victorian homes nestled between ancient oaks and maples … the very sight of it could take your breath away especially in the spring when all of Edgewood Avenue was shimmering with crabapple blossoms.” Yet the town has a very dark history. What is its secret, and how is the town being punished for it now?

  2. The main characters in Shades of Simon Gray are Simon Gray, Devin McCafferty, Kyle Byrnes, Danny Giannetti, and Liz Shapiro. Discuss each of the characters and their relationships. Who among the people you know are like any of them?

  3. Danny Giannetti believes “You don’t have to play the game, you just have to know how to win it.” Kyle Byrnes lives by the creed “Do anything you want, the trick is make sure no one ever finds out and if they do … lie like hell.” Even Liz Shapiro, who believes she is an honest person, secretly removes an antique journal from the historical society to work on a report. She rationalizes: “They would never miss it. She would return it in a few days and no one would ever be the wiser.” What do you think influenced these kids to formulate philosophies that allow them to comfortably behave so dishonestly?

  4. A 2002 study of 4500 high school students across the country by Rutgers University’s Management Education Center found that 75 percent of the students surveyed engaged in serious cheating. Common student responses were: “I actually think cheating is good.” “A person who has an honest life can’t succeed.” How is this survey relevant to Shades of Simon Gray? How do you and your classmates feel about cheating? How does the larger world of politics, business, and media affect your attitudes? Be honest!

  5. Shades of Simon Gray raises questions of ethics and ethical behavior. What ethical dilemmas do you face outside school? Do your friends influence the choices you make? Would you do something unethical to please them?

  6. Of all the conspirators, Devin is the only one who rejects the rewards she receives as a result of “the project.” What is the turning point for her? Does your opinion of Devin change by the end of the novel?

  7. Before Simon’s accident, what clues indicate that he might have crashed the car on purpose?

  8. “The way Simon was beginning to see it was, there were two ways out of this place: you either pulled yourself up or you let them hang you.” Simon knows he has a choice. The visions or out-of-body experiences he has while in a coma help him come to a decision. How do his encounters with Jessup Wildemere help him make his choice?

  9. “He found himself outside his room, near the nurses’ station, where two doctors were talking. He tried waving his hands over his head to get their attention, but the doctors never so much as glanced his way. Within seconds Simon’s ears filled with a strange whooshing sound. He felt himself propelled like smoke through the stem of a pipe, right into his body.” The belief that critically ill patients can have out-of-body experiences is a very controversial one. Where do you stand on the issue? Do you believe Simon’s experiences are real? Propose an alternative explanation.

  10. Shades of Simon Gray demonstrates that normally honest, law-abiding citizens can be manipulated and corrupted into committing illegal acts, whether in 1798 or in the present. What was it about the people of Havenhill that allowed them to hang a man without a trial and then lie about it? Does it make any difference that they were ignorant of the truth? Simon knew he was being manipulated by Kyle, Devin, and Danny, yet he still chose to get involved in “the project.” What was Simon’s sin?

  11. When they need quiet time and a place for serious thinking, the characters in Shades of Simon Gray find their way down to the river. What is it about a river that makes it conducive to thinking? Talk about where you go to be alone to think.

  12. Joyce McDonald often takes advantage of the multiple meanings of words she uses—for example, the expression a murder of crows and the words shades of gray in the title. Talk about the author’s use of language and how it helps to set a tone and to give richness to the novel.

  This guide was prepared by Clifford Wohl, educational consultant.

  A CONVERSATION WITH JOYCE MCDONALD

  Q. You have had careers in publishing, academia, and writing. Which is the most fulfilling?

  A. Writing fiction has been an important part of my life since I was six years old, and the most fulfilling of my careers. All of my careers, however, have been connected to or have contributed to my writing, whether I was teaching the works of other writers in a literature class, teaching students how to write short stories, or editing someone else’s work. Having experienced all aspects of the field: writing, editing, production, promotion, teaching, and, of course, the pleasure of reading, I’m able to look at my work from many different perspectives. Teaching literature gave me a critical eye with which to evaluate my own work. Teaching also gave me the opportunity to be around older teens. They kept me in tune with current trends and attitudes.

  Q. Who are the young adult authors you enjoy reading?

  A. There are many whose work I admire. David Almond, Laurie Halse Anderson, Robert Cormier, Annette Curtis Klause, Han Nolan, and Ellen Wittlinger, to name a few. Alice Hoffman, although primarily a writer of adult fiction, has created several memorable teens in her work.

  Q. Tell us about the title. When and how did you develop it?

  A. The phrase shades of gray crept into my head one night just as I was falling asleep. For some reason, I felt the need to add a person’s name. The name that came to me almost immediately was Simon. A few weeks earlier I had read a newspaper article about a group of teens who had stolen a teacher’s password to download a
test. I sensed that somehow the phrase shades of gray was connected in my mind to what I’d read in an article. (Newspaper articles are often the impetus for my books.)

  This particular news story was also about a local teen, a boy with a reputation for being a great kid, an Eagle Scout, top student, college bound, respected in his community, who had gone out to the woods behind his house and shot himself. The suicide appeared to be linked to the computer incident at school. He and the other boys had been suspended, with hearings pending. This boy’s story haunted me. I wondered why he chose such a drastic way out of his situation. To all outward appearances, he was the perfect student, son, brother, and friend.

  I wrote the book to answer the questions that arose both from the article and from the phrase shades of gray that had come to me in the night. When I was done, I understood that the phrase worked on several levels. It captured the main theme of the book—the elusiveness of truth and the way individual perceptions blur the borders of reality—in all its shades of gray. Simon, too, is connected to the phrase. Like all of us, he is many things to many people. Almost all the characters, with the exception of Devin, choose to see him in one-dimensional terms. But there are many shades to his personality. I also liked the other implications behind the word shades. It suggests those things that haunt Simon—literally and figuratively.

  Q. Shades of Simon Gray is told in a nonlinear fashion. How did you keep track of all the elements? Did you write the stories about the individual characters and then integrate them or did the story flow continuously?