We laughed. We laughed so much once we got out. In the hospital, we stayed up long nights just cracking each other up any way we could. He did a killer impression of Slade that left me gasping for air.
But now? He hadn’t cracked a smile since I’d arrived.
When he first showed up at the studio, I’d stupidly thought maybe he was there to ask me if we could try again. But no. He was only doing his job.
I’d become a job to him now.
And yet, he still looked at me with those smoldering eyes that shot electricity straight to my center. Maybe I’m a fool for thinking he might still have feelings for me, despite the fact that I’d clearly been the one to push him away.
I had good reasons.
Or so I thought at the time.
Honestly, watching Julia soak up the attention of the other Gods left me wondering if we were all really all that different in the end.
Maybe I’d been wrong all along.
Maybe I’d pushed him away too soon, before I’d really given us time to sort things out.
Maybe, just maybe, I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.
Being around him, feeling the heat rolling off of him, sensing the chemistry between us, remembering the sensuality that flowed between us when we’d made love, it all just brought everything rushing back.
Everything I’d spent months trying to convince myself wasn’t real.
And now here I was, reality smacking me right in the heart.
Shadow and Wolfe led me down a dark trail through the woods, and the sounds of the forest sang out around us in stereo.
“Is it safe to be out here at night?” I asked. Neither of them had a flashlight, and yet they walked as confidently as if they had night vision. Both of them laughed at my question, which only served to annoy me.
“Maybe we should head back,” I said.
“We’re fine,” Wolfe said, with a dismissive wave.
A loud shriek pierced the darkness and I jumped like I’d been shot, right into Shadow’s arms. He wrapped his huge pythons around me, all while still laughing. Tears sprang to my eyes and I pushed him away, embarrassed.
“What the hell was that?” I asked, my voice shaking.
“Who knows?” he replied, winking at me. “But I sure hope they do it again.”
I rolled my eyes and turned back the way we came.
“I’m going back,” I said. “This is freaking me out too much.”
Leaving them behind, I hurried down the trail, my skin crawling with each noise that sounded out around me. I might have grown up in Oregon, but I was a true city girl. I didn’t mind camping or hiking, but as soon as night fell, I wanted to be tucked away safely in my tent, away from any wildlife that might decide I’d make a delicious meal.
The woods surrounding the clubhouse were as thick as it got here on the coast and I knew without a doubt they were filled with all kinds of hungry critters. I didn’t intend to provide them with nourishment.
Shadow and Wolfe’s footsteps fell behind me, which was comforting, despite the fact that I couldn’t wait to get away from them. We reached the edge of the woods and as soon as my feet hit the gravel of the winding driveway that led back to the clubhouse, I let out a huge sigh of relief.
“Sorry about that, Libby,” Wolfe said as they caught up. He looked genuinely regretful and my heart softened. “We didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m just a little on edge, I guess.”
“Of course, you are,” Shadow said. “Let’s get you back to Bullet. He’s probably crawling out of his skin by now.”
“What?” I asked. “Why do you say that?”
“Um, have you seen the way he looks at you?”
“Well, I mean, yeah, we had a little something, but that was months ago. I think he’s over it.”
Wolfe scoffed and shook his head, “Hardly.”
“Yeah, he’s constantly looking at your Facebook pictures on his phone.”
“He is?” I asked, my heart skipping a beat.
“Oh, yeah, he’s been pining for you,” Wolfe said. “Don’t tell him we said that or he’ll kick our asses.”
“My lips are sealed,” I said.
“Why’d you blow him off?” Shadow asked.
“I didn’t, I —.”
I stopped. Yes, I did.
“I just thought we were a little too different, I guess,” I admitted.
“Yeah,” Shadow said. “I can see that. Lots of people have successful relationships with people they are completely different than, though. God, look at Slade and Diana. You can’t get more different than that. You just never know.”
Wise words coming from a big, beautiful, biker, I thought.
I nodded, drinking them in. Maybe they weren’t so bad after all?
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.
“You should,” Shadow said. “He’s been a mess lately.”
We walked the rest of the way back to the clubhouse in silence.
They’d certainly given me a lot to think about.
Perhaps I was wrong about Bullet, after all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
BULLET
When I saw Libby come back after just a few minutes alone with Shadow and Wolfe, I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I caught Shadow’s eye and he winked at me, then glanced at Libby and looked back at me again.
He knew how I felt about her. We’d talked about it at length.
I knew what his look meant. He was telling me to get off my ass and do something before I lose the best thing that ever happened to me. I knew this because I’d been telling myself that same thing for quite a while.
“Back so soon?” I asked, trying to sound as unaffected as possible.
“It’s really dark once you get deep in there,” she said.
I nodded, seeing my chance. “It’s actually amazing if you have a flashlight,” I said. I picked one up from the table on the porch, and smiled at her. “Come on, let’s give it another try. There’s something I want to show you anyway.”
She looked at me skeptically, but I just smiled wider, trying to make up for my awkwardness from earlier. I felt Shadow and Wolfe watching from the sidelines, and I ignored the smirks that I knew would be plastered to their mugs.
“You’ll love it,” I said. “I wanted to show you…before.”
Before you left me.
Before you decided I wasn’t right for you.
Before…when everything was easy and right.
“Okay,” she murmured, falling in step with me. I clicked on the flashlight and a powerful stream of light lit up everything around us.
“Better?”
“Much!” she said, smiling slightly.
“We aren’t going far, but it’s really special,” I said.
“Okay,” she said. “Do you spend a lot of time in the woods at night?”
I laughed. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
We disappeared through the tree line and were immediately transported to another dimension. Surrounded by the tall, swaying pines, the muffled sounds of the party at the clubhouse fell away and it was just us.
And about a million unseen critters, but who’s counting?
I reached out and silently took her hand, smiling at the eagerness with which she wrapped her fingers around mine. Leaves and twigs crunched under our feet, breaking through the forest’s night song as we made our way down the trail. The tops of the trees blocked out the moonlight, the light from the flashlight the only source of illumination.
After a few minutes, the trail broke through a small clearing into a tiny little circular meadow, with my favorite creek rushing along the curve of one side of it. I turned off the flashlight and we walked into the meadow.
Moonlight washed over us, bathing us in its warm light. I watched with a swelling heart as Libby rushed into the center of the grass, spinning around in a circle, her head thrown back in ecstasy as a huge smile spread across her face.
“T
his is glorious, Bullet!” she cried.
I nodded, a lump in my throat.
She was glorious! I watched her dance around, an angelic vision I knew I’d never forget.
In fact, if death struck me now, I’d die a happy man.
“Come over here,” I said, my voice thick with rapidly growing desire. I led her over to the rushing creek. “Look at the water.”
She cried out, her eyes widening. “It’s beautiful!”
Shimmering in the moonlight, the shallow water rushed over the rocks dramatically. It looked completely different than it did during the day, the darkness that surrounded it lending an eerie beauty to the water, making it appear black and sparkling, all at the same time. The contrast of the white foam that the rushing water formed around the rocks was mesmerizing.
“I’m so glad you brought me here,” Libby said, her gaze turning up to me.
“I love it here,” I said. “It’s my favorite place on the entire property. Especially at night. It looks like the water is made from the moonlight itself.”
Her eyes dilated and I stared down at her beauty, my heart bursting with love for her. I longed to pull her into my arms, to hold her close and never let her go. I’d missed her for months and now that she was in front of me, smiling up at me with such loving, joyful eyes, I’d never wanted to kiss her more than this moment.
I smiled down at her and the pull was just too strong.
I bent my head, bringing my lips inches from hers.
“Bullet,” she whispered, placing her hand on my chest, “we need to talk.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
LIBBY
He was going to kiss me, I knew it.
Of course, I ruined it.
With words. And not just any words, but the words every man hates to hear: “We need to talk.”
He blinked, took a step back, and respectfully nodded.
“Alright,” he said, his voice cracking.
“I feel terrible,” I said, the words rushing out. “I owe you an explanation for my behavior, for not returning your calls.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Libby.”
His eyes smoldered, sprinkled with moonlight, searching mine.
“But I do,” I said, sighing heavily. “I guess…I guess, I just thought we were both so different. When we were at Mona’s, and then the hospital, it was just us, you know? But once you came back here, I saw that this is where you fit. This is your tribe, your people. You belong here, Bullet. You’re a God!”
“And you’re an angel,” he whispered. “And from what I understand, Gods and angels go together like the moon and the stars.”
My heart broke as I smiled at him.
“Oh, Bullet, don’t you see? I don’t quite fit in here,” I continued. "My family, my friends — well, Julia — my job, the studio, my art. That’s me. I just grew to realize how different we are. I’m sorry I couldn’t communicate that to you sooner. It’s been really difficult these last few months.”
I looked away, but I know he saw the flash of pain in my eyes.
“I know, Libby. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all of this. If I could go back and keep it all from happening, I would. Even if it meant we’d never meet each other. You didn’t deserve anything that happened to you, I hope you know that.”
I sighed. I didn’t know what I deserved. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore, so how was I to know what I deserved?
Mona created me, and then she destroyed me.
And Bullet? Staring at me like his heart was about to burst if he didn’t kiss me soon? Did I deserve that?
He deserved someone whole. Someone who wasn’t broken. Someone who’s heart was open and ready for love, not the dysfunctional hot mess that I’d become.
“Libby,” he whispered, reaching down and placing a gentle finger under my chin to lift it up. Our eyes met, a collision that I didn’t have the strength for. He was so good, so beautiful, so real and solid and now that he was standing in front of me, instead of just a phone call I could decline, I had no idea how I was going to keep refusing him.
Every cell in my body wanted to rub up against his.
“Libby?”
“Yes?” I replied, the word ripping through my throat like a razor blade.
“I understand everything you’re saying, but you’re wrong about me. Someday, maybe you’ll give me a chance to show you that. But that has to happen in your own time. In your own way. All you have to do is give me the word, and I’ll be there.”
“Bullet, you’re so kind and gentle,” I said. “You always have been.”
“That’s the best way for me to get through life,” he replied. “And the best way to show you how much I care about you. I have another side, but nobody really wants to see that.”
I smiled up at him, my heart swelling with love for this patient man. Despite everything that had happened, he’d remained a calm, solid rock through it all. And here he was — steady and sure, offering me nothing and everything all at once.
And what had I given him in return?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
He was so good, so pure…he deserved so much more than that.
I raised up on my tiptoes, pressing my lips against his, the heat of his lips searing mine deliciously. He froze for half a second before his arms wrapped around me, pulling me close as his mouth searched mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
BULLET
Her lips brushed against mine, as soft as velvet.
All restraint melted away as I pulled her close, needing her body against mine. My hands trailed over her curves, my lips ravishing hers with an unleashed passion that threatened to overwhelm me.
Forcing myself to breathe, I slowed down, breathing into her.
She was everything.
For months, I’d spent every night going over every detail I could remember about her. The feel of her kiss, the taste of her mouth, the weight of her breast in my palm, the way she moaned when I sank inside of her; desperately afraid I’d forget some small detail with the passing of time, convinced any opportunity to refresh my memory was an impossibility, I was determined to remember every single detail.
And yet, here she was, in my arms again, every inch of her skin just as silky as I remembered, only silkier, softer.
It was all better, more intense.
Was it the intimacy the dark forest provided? Was it the time we’d spent apart, the yearning for her that had grown so strong inside of em?
Was it the simple fact that we were meant to be together?
I kissed her deeper, harder, the passion I’d suppressed for so long bubbling up and overwhelming me with its strength.
I wanted to tell her I loved her.
I wanted to beg her to never leave my side again.
But everything was way too tender for that right now.
This was just a kiss.
A deep, lingering, passionate kiss that I never wanted to end.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
LIBBY
I was on fire.
Desire ripped through me like a fast-moving storm, leaving me quivering and quaking in Bullet’s arms.
It was everything I remembered and all I could think was that I wanted more. So much more.
I wanted it all.
I wanted all of him, right here, right now — I longed for him to lay me down on the forest floor, take me right there by the creek, with only the moon to witness the passion flowing between us.
Everything I’d believed before, about how different we were, it all melted away. Because the moment our lips met, we became one.
There was no awkward nose bumping.
There were no accidental teeth crashes.
We melted into each other, completely in sync, like a dance that we made up together as we went.
I stepped back to tell him that, pulling away to stare into his eyes, to see if he felt the exact same thing, but as soon as our eyes crashed into each other, the breath left my lungs.
A thick lock of blonde hair hung over one eye, the moonlight throwing shadows over his face that danced around like a silent song.
I’d never wanted anything so badly as much as I wanted this man right now.
“Bullet,” I moaned, breaking through the silence of the darkness. A slow smile spread across my face as I licked my lips, tasting the lingering heat of his kiss. His hands were heavy on my hips, his thumbs caressing my hipbones seductively.
“I’d almost forgotten how good that felt,” he growled, his eyes ablaze with lust.
“Me, too,” I whispered. “But I need —.”
A sudden whoosh broke through the air overhead and we both looked up and ducked just in time to avoid getting hit by the sharp claws of Oliver, who landed on a nearby branch.
“Oh, my God!” I cried, stepping back from Bullet like two teenagers who’d been caught my a parent.
“Dammit,” Bullet said, shaking his head and laughing. “Hello, Oliver.”
A second set of wings whooshed down out of the darkness, landing next to Oliver on the branch.
“And there’s Olivia!” I said. I’d met the two owls the last time I’d visited the clubhouse and yet, somehow, never imagined they’d interrupt this moment.
“Hello, lovebirds,” Bullet said, waving at them.
They blinked at us, all innocent and wide-eyed, their big yellow eyes piercing through the darkness like they’d hadn’t just interrupted one of the best moments of my life.
“I missed them,” I said, walking over to them very slowly. They stood still, perched solidly on the low hanging branch. I reached out a hand to them one at a time, and they sniffed it approvingly.
“They want food,” Bullet said. “They always do.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t have anything,” I said to them. Bullet was watching me, and I looked over, shooting him an apologetic glance.
“We weren’t exactly expecting company, were we?”
GODS & ANGELS: GODS OF CHAOS MC: BOOK ELEVEN Page 6
