Bearly Breathing (Alpha Werebear Shifter Paranormal Romance)

by Lynn Red

  “Harder,” he groaned. “Just like that... perfect.”

  The sound of his voice coaxed me back to that same relaxed, vulnerable, hypnotized space where he’d taken me with his hands. I closed my eyes, letting my mouth and my hands do the talking. For what seemed like a blissed eternity, my world became Orion’s skin, his thickness, his long, salty taste.

  “Perfect,” he moaned softly, running his hand through my hair and balling his fist. “Perfect just... like the rest of you.”

  The sex flush on my chest burned hotter, and I pulled him further into my mouth until I couldn’t fit anymore. I squeezed him harder, exploring the lines and shape of his cock with the tip of my tongue. He thickened, his tip taking up my whole mouth, and then before I knew it, he grabbed my hair a little harder, pulling me back.

  “Not yet,” he whispered, breathing hard. Sweat ran down the sides of his face, soaking into the tee shirt stretched around his muscled chest. “There’s something...”

  Orion grabbed my hand, lifting me first to my feet and then dragging me down on top of him. “Your scent is making me crazy,” he whispered in a lusty voice just dripping with raw sex. “I can’t help myself. I have to taste, have to experience all of you. And I have to have it right. This. Second.”

  His halting words made my whole body ache with desire. “You’re not the only one who can’t wait,” I breathed. I slid my hand down his body, cupping his erection and imagining what it’d feel like to have him – all of him – just the way I wanted. “Please don’t make me wait,” I said. I pulled my knees up and angled my hips to let him in.

  “Not like that,” he said, grabbing one of my hands, brushing a bra-covered breast with the other and then sucking at me, through the fabric. “I want to taste you, need to taste you, but I need you to...”

  “At the same time?” I asked, blushing furiously for some idiot reason, although the second he said it I was undoing my jeans. Kicking them off unceremoniously and stripping off my panties, I grinned crookedly at Orion. He grabbed my hand, pulled me down, and I sat on him, with my sex warmed by his burning hot flesh.

  His cock lay against my back, warming where it touched. “I’ve never...” I began, but he interrupted me by dragging my face down to meet his. I lifted my hips and he grabbed himself, flattening his erection against his belly.

  When I relaxed my weight onto him, the most sensitive part of his underside was wedged against my clit. Slowly, moaning and having to try really hard not to drool, I moved down, then up, in a raw, achingly beautiful massage.

  “I can’t,” he groaned, smiling. “You’re gonna finish me off if you keep doing that.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” I asked, a little more eager than I meant to be, then bit my lip to hide my smirk. “Big strong guy like you? Going off once shouldn’t be the end of the world. Or of...”

  “It’s not,” he smiled, grabbing my hair and forcing my head back so he could kiss my neck. “But with me that close to you? I know better than to pretend I can keep from going in.”

  “And what’s so wrong with that?” I asked, not bothering to hide my grin that time.

  Orion shook his head, those sparkling eyes disarming me. “Not yet,” he said. “We don’t have enough time right now for all the things I’m gonna do to you.”

  “Don’t promise what you can’t deliver,” I said, pushing my hips hard against him so that Orion grimaced, obviously straining to keep himself under control.

  “Oh, I’m not,” he said, grabbing my hand and turning me just enough to grab my ankle. He spun me around and then the next instant, two fingers slid easily into me, and his tongue danced a circle around my button.

  “Oh... Oh my God!” I whimpered, trying my best not to come right then and there. “Second runs for the fence usually take more than like eight seconds for me,” I said.

  He moaned softly, vibrating his mouth against me, and sending a muscle-clenching shock all the way up my back. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck first stood out and then grew. Longer, thicker and harder, as he swirled his tongue and pulsed his fingers, my lynx hair was turning into a lynx coat.

  “I love that I can do this to you,” Orion said, his hot breath prickling the skin between my legs and then cooling the wetness.

  In response, I grabbed him and slid that huge tip back into my mouth, biting down gently. He shivered, so I must’ve been doing something right, and then a few seconds later, I felt the hair on his legs and belly grow. “I love that I can do it to you,” I said with a giggle.

  I inhaled him, took him as far as I could, all the while my hands trembling, my lips quaking as he brought me closer to the edge. And this cliff? This is one I really, really didn’t mind taking a dive off. But I wasn’t gonna plunge into the drink alone.

  Harder and harder I pumped my hands, sliding my tongue wherever it could go. Both our hair was turning to fur, and then he gripped me, holding me tight.

  I felt the pulses start in my core and work their way out and up and down me. Orion, thickening in my mouth, must’ve felt the same thing. “Suck... me,” he groaned, pushing his hips upward, and massaging me harder with his tongue.

  He swelled, I surged, and in a brilliant flash of white, the world exploded. Instead of lines and colors and shapes there were only sounds, smells, caresses and sucks. My pulse raced, my heart pounded. I felt every spark of electric energy running down my spine and through the hair on my back and my legs that just seemed to grow, endlessly, from my body. I purred and mewled and rolled back and forth with my eyes closed tight and the waves or pleasure just pounding against me.

  With my eyes still closed, I slid my arms up and down against each other, and finally my hands found Orion’s.

  “Where are your towels?” he whispered, sliding out from under me.

  “Down the hall, turn left, first cabinet. Why?”

  He was already gone though. “Keep your eyes closed,” he called from the bathroom. I heard running water, and a little grumbling. “They still closed?” he asked, as his heavy footsteps preceded the smell of his sweat, his manliness.

  “I do what I’m told,” I cooed, giggling a little.

  “Yeah, I’m sure you do,” he said, sarcasm evident with his chuckle. “Hush,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to do this, too, for a while.”

  The warmth of a steaming towel with a hint of lavender hit my nose. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” I asked, relishing the comforting heat. Up and down my legs, the pleasure ran, cleansing my skin and taking me away.

  “Where did you come from?” I asked. “And why did it take me so long to find you?”

  At that, he chuckled again. “I could ask you the same thing. I’ve never felt like I belonged before. Not like you and your friends make me feel. Welcomed, safe, like I don’t have to watch over my shoulder every day. But, why worry about that? Why worry about what came before? However long it took for you to find me, or me to find you, everything led to this. All our pain, the things we’ve been through? It all led to you and me being here, right now.”

  I sat there with my mouth open, watching the rise and fall of Orion’s chest. The towel between my legs cooled slightly, giving me just the tiniest bit of a chill. “I thought you were supposed to be some kinda street thug,” I said with a smile. “Not a poet.”

  “I’m no poet,” Orion said, pulling me to my feet and kissing me again. “None of that even rhymed. Come on,” he bent over, giving me a full-on view of his muscled, gorgeous ass before tossing my shamelessly soaked panties my direction. “We’ve got a date with two coyotes and some mini-golf. And if you think I’m good at talking sexy, just wait until you see me put one of my balls in the hole behind a windmill.”

  He knew what he’d said even as the words came out of his mouth. He laughed, I laughed, and Orion wrapped one of his massive arms around my shoulders. Whatever home was, whatever security meant, I got the feeling, right then, that if I didn’t stop overanalyzing, questioning and fighting my own happiness, t
his incredible moment would be over.

  And I didn’t want that.

  I didn’t want to turn my back on someone who made me feel like this. I didn’t want to sabotage my own happiness. Again.

  Straddling the motorcycle, I was lost in thought. When Orion handed me the helmet and told me to hold on tight, I nestled down against him, turning my head to the side and watching the world whiz by at what seemed like the speed of light.

  It all seems like it’s going at the speed of light, I thought. But for once? This is a flight I don’t want to stop, this is a ride I don’t want to get off of. And I might be scared, I might be worried about ‘too good to be true’ and ‘you can’t ever have it this good’ and all the other things that keep me from being happy; keep me from being me. But right now? Right now it doesn’t matter. I’ve found my bear. I’ve found my peace.

  I took a deep breath, inhaling the mixture of fir, cool pre-rain summer night, and the intoxicating leather scent wafting off Orion’s jacket. As I exhaled, I turned my head the other direction.

  Whatever was going on, right now I had something I never thought I would.

  And that? That was good enough.

  A hand on my leg unconsciously calmed my racing heart. I loved him, I realized in that one, fleeting second. I loved him... and I’d never actually loved anyone before.

  Not like this.

  Never, ever like this.

  *

  “What took you guys so long?” Malia asked from a booth in the gross pizza part of the Fun Plex as we walked in the front door. They were sitting with a couple that I’d seen before, but never met. “Actually, never mind. I think I’ve got an idea.”

  The sly grin that spread across her face was just about the smuggest, most obnoxious thing I’d ever seen. Of course she was perfectly right, though.

  “Leave the lovebirds alone, lovebird,” Dean said, flicking Malia’s ear with a thump and then kissing her playfully. “No reason to get all personal as soon as they walk in the door. Oh hey, this is Henry and Eustace – we just ran into them. Do you guys know each other?”

  “Eustace isn’t actually my name,” the small guy sitting behind no less than four empty water glasses said. “But I’ve quit trying to correct it.”

  The girl he was with gave him a side-eyed glance from behind her spectacles. “Good to meet you. Clea, right?” Her voice was slow and careful, the total opposite of her boyfriend’s quick, flitting speech.

  I nodded. “Yeah, The Cubby Hole. Oh, this is my boyfriend Orion,” I said without thinking about what I was saying. Afterward I felt like slapping myself in the forehead, but it’s hard to do that in public without coming off as at least a little bit of a loon. And in a town with real, actual loons? Yeah, bad news.

  “Hey Orion,” Henry said. “Bears have the coolest names. And the coolest tats. My friend got hitched to Ash Morgan. It was a whole big thing. Anyway, totally jelly of that name. Turtles? Yeah we get stuff like Henrietta. Kangaroo rats get Eustace. Who’s winning the cool name contest here?”

  “Thanks,” Orion said in a very flat, almost confused voice. “I like your name too.”

  Luckily, the two of them had somewhere to be. Not because I didn’t like them, but because I felt just about bad enough for Orion that I wanted to dig a hole for him to crawl into. Socializing wasn’t really the strongest part of his personality, and throw in a curveball like that? I can’t even imagine.

  But, he was taking it in stride. Even had a little grin on his face. I think maybe he was finally getting used to not having to panic every time anyone said his name or looked at him for more than fifteen seconds.

  “Boyfriend?” he asked, curling his lip in a smile as we followed Dean and Malia to the golf club dispensary. The only answer I had was a smile and a little shrug. I picked orange, Orion took red, and nothing in the world has ever looked sillier than a tiny rubber putter in the hands of a bear.

  All night we played, we held hands, and he snuck a couple fingers into my back pocket once or twice. It felt amazing. Honestly, it felt like I was back in college and swooning over Liam. Except this time, Liam wasn’t an asshole that could have won an asshole award.

  It was... it was right.

  Between all the touching and flirting and hand holding, he even did that thing where you help someone putt by getting behind them and kinda stand-spooning. All that made me want, of course, was real spooning.

  It was past midnight by the time we said our goodbyes to Dean and Malia, and about twelve fifteen by the time we were home.

  But this guy stole my heart between seven and eight. I’d been in love for four hours and forty-eight minutes, by my count.

  And those four hours and forty-eight minutes? They made the whole rest of the time leading up to them perfectly fine.

  Orion’s gentle snoring lulled me from wide awake to super drowsy in a few seconds. And I’m not exactly the world’s best sleeper. In fact, I’m kind of a horrible insomniac. But with him? I felt so safe, so warm, so... home... that the hurting in the back of my chest was calm. The pain Liam put there, the doubt and the confusion, they were just gone.

  I closed my eyes as his snoring grew a little louder, and the hairs on his arms got softer and longer.

  “My bear,” I whispered, curling up in his arms and using one of them for a pillow. “God, I love you. How did I do this to myself?”

  I thought I felt him shuffle his weight, like he was about to toss or turn. But then he just fell silent again, holding me a little tighter.

  -18-

  “The only difference between me and them is that I only hurt people who deserve it. Or, I guess, ones who really, really piss me off.”

  -Orion

  I love you too, Orion wanted to say, when he heard his beautiful lynx whispering as she fell asleep.

  Instead, he just pretended to go right on snoozing. The prickly hairs coming out of Clea’s neck and back and arms as she relaxed fully made Orion feel like he, too, was just as safe and secure as she obviously felt.

  He wanted to hold her, to flip her over and kiss her up and down and in and out all over again, but at the same time, he was really tired. An accidental yawn made Clea shift her weight, but she immediately fell silent again.

  Orion nestled into her hair, taking a nose full of her scent. Not able to completely resist the temptation, he stroked her cheek with his lips, and kissed her softly. She started again, but seconds later she was snoring away, happily oblivious to anything going on.

  A glance out the window reminded Orion that he had no idea to tell what time it was by looking outside. He scanned the room for a clock, but didn’t find one. More than a little irritated, he let his head fall heavily against the pillow, closed his eyes just long enough to tease himself with sleep, and then opened them again, wide.

  There, on the ceiling, surrounded by what appeared to be an animated sheep dancing, was what he’d been looking for.

  Almost one.

  Good. Orion thought. Let’s get this shit over with.

  He rolled out of bed and then realized his arm was pinned.

  With stealth belying his size, Orion gently rolled Clea to one side, then pulled his arm free, and rolled her back. Immediately, she grabbed one of her eight body pillows, curled around it, wadded up into a furry ball, and was snoring again.

  There was something he had to do.

  Orion crossed the room and fished his backpack out from behind the chair where he’d hung it, and then it had fallen. A pen and his notebook in hand, he sat down, the chair underneath him creaking at his massive weight.

  “Dear Clea,” he wrote. “I’m saying thank you and I’m saying that I’ll see you soon. There’s something I have to take care of tonight before it comes back to haunt me again. I know we’re supposed to tell each other everything, but I don’t want you to know my father. I don’t want you to know my family, not now that mom is gone. She was the only good in the Samuelssons, and now,” he set his pen on the table, pinching the bridge of his
nose to fight the tears.

  It worked, but not before his throat felt thick, and the breath hitched in his nose. A slow, trembling breath eased his mind slightly, but another glance at Clea calmed Orion’s troubled heart.

  “I know I told you I’d come for you once before, and didn’t manage for longer than I would have liked. But now, there’s no question. There’s no chance I won’t. I’m yours and you’re mine, and before long I’m going to claim you forever. But, but, but,” he lifted the pen and tapped his finger on the paper for a second. “There’s always a but, isn’t there? But I’m afraid you’re going to be in danger unless I do what I’m planning – what I have been planning – ever since I left the Devils. Left my father. And found,” he paused for a moment, not sure exactly of the words. “Peace,” he finally wrote and sat back.

  Folding the paper, he creased it sharply, and placed the letter beside his sleeping love, situated like an a-frame tent.

  Watching her for a moment, Orion didn’t bother denying the alien mixture of longing, love, and peace welling up in him.

  He grabbed his backpack and opened the zipper, being careful not to make much noise. Sliding his hand over the cover of the first book inside, he rotated the stud, and plucked it free. Turning it around in his fingers, he smiled, watching the light dance in the little diamond.

  She’d want it back.

  He set the stud under the tented letter, smiling for a moment. But then there was something else behind it.

  Rage. Purpose.

  The words as cold as his heart when it was time to act.

  Rage. Hate.

  Two things he didn’t want, but couldn’t deny were part of him, part of his very essence. They were part of him because they were part of his rotten-to-the-goddamn-core father, and his father. He hated what they’d made him.

  As he watched Clea’s peaceful slumber, Orion’s heart felt lighter. It felt like the rage and the hate and the anger weren’t him anymore, they were just emotions. They were just things he felt, things that made his vision go red and made him clench his fists and punch walls. That’s all they are, he told himself. Mitch doesn’t control me. The Devils don’t control me, not anymore.