Cross your heart and hope to die (Emma Frost #4)

by Willow Rose

  "When she saw that I had all the answers written on my arm, she pulled me out of the classroom and yelled at me in the hallway," Line said. "It was so hard not to laugh since her voice became so shrill it sounded almost like a whistle. I swear I heard dogs howl in the distance."

  Everyone laughed and Jacob joined in. "She was quite the character," he stated.

  They all nodded and smiled at the memory.

  "Does anyone else remember how Preben used to have this huge crush on Emma?" Soren suddenly asked.

  Preben almost dropped his coffee cup.

  "What?" Emma asked and looked at him while wrinkling her nose. "I never knew that."

  "Well he did," Soren said with a huge grin. He emptied his brandy before he continued. "He even stole your red scarf once."

  "Was that you?" Emma asked. "I loved that scarf." She smiled and put her hand on Preben's shoulder. "Well, you're forgiven." Then she laughed.

  Jacob looked at Preben whose cheeks were turning red. Not because he was shy or even embarrassed, no Jacob had known him long enough to know that this was something else and something far more dangerous. It was anger.

  18

  July 2005

  ERIK DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING to his wife. He stormed out of the apartment with the box under his arm, took the Audi, and drove off without a word. Kelly Clarkson sang Since You've Been Gone on the radio as he drove through town, but he hardly noticed. His anger made him forget everything around him.

  "This is … this is NOT acceptable," he mumbled and slammed his fist into the steering wheel of the car.

  Erik was not and had never been one to lose his temper. He was a quiet and calm man who hardly even raised his voice. Being angry was unnatural to him, but for the first time in his life he had a hard time keeping his voice down. He was known as someone who would always turn the other cheek, who wouldn't even hold a grudge, but when it came to his family, he wouldn't tolerate anything.

  And especially not this.

  Erik parked the car in front of the apartment building in Norrebro where his partner and old friend since elementary school lived. He stormed up the stairs and rang the doorbell. He closed his eyes trying to count backwards from ten to calm himself down, then opened them as the door was opened and Jacob's eyes stared back at him.

  Erik lifted the box with the ripped up teddy bear inside of it.

  "Really?" he asked as he pushed his way into the apartment, knowing this wasn't something they should discuss in the hallway where all the curious neighbors would hear them.

  "I give you millions, I make you a freaking millionaire and this is how you repay me?" he continued, feeling his face turn red in anger.

  Jacob stared at him, then shook his head. "I need to know you'll keep your word," he said.

  "So you burned my car? You took my daughter's favorite toy and destroyed it? You threaten us? Is that how we do things now, huh? What if Bella had opened the box? It would have traumatized her severely. Are you freaking kidding me? I thought we were friends, Jacob. I thought we stuck together?"

  "That's what I thought too, but then you got all mushy on me and started talking about being able to live with yourself and all that shit. How do you think that makes me feel, huh? It scared the crap out of me, that's what it did, Erik. I'm sorry, but I need to know that I can trust you."

  Erik gesticulated, resigned. "Whatever happened to just talking? Couldn't you just have asked me?"

  "We're way past that now, Erik. I tried. I asked you again and again. But all I got were vague answers. That's not good enough for me, Erik. That right there is a language you and I understand," he said, pointing at the box.

  "So now you're saying you'll kill me if I ever tell anything? Is that how it goes?" Erik said. "Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?"

  "I'll do what I have to. I won't have you ruin everything. Not now when we've come this far, Erik. I'm not letting you do this. And I know you too well. I know you're about to break. I know you won't be able to keep it to yourself unless I make you do it. That's just how it is. You're soft Erik. You're weaker than me. Once you start thinking about telling, you won't let it go, you won't stop. So I decided to help you out a little. I did it for your own sake too. You don't want to ruin your future now. It's not just your life, it's your wife's and your kids’. I know you goddammit. I know what you're thinking even before you do."

  Erik drew in a breath wanting to say something, but hesitated. Jacob was right. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. And there was a reason for that. It was just so wrong what they had done. So terribly wrong. It hurt him to even think about it.

  "So what are you saying here, Jacob? That you'll kill me or someone in my family if I ever tell? Is that it?"

  "Yes."

  Erik lifted his finger in the air. "This is … This is so … not ACCEPTABLE!" he yelled.

  "It is what it is. I'll protect our secret with what it takes even if it means losing your friendship."

  Erik snorted. "I will not have you threaten my family, do you hear me?"

  "Loud and clear. Just make sure the secret stays with you and I won't."

  "You always have been an asshole."

  "That might be," Jacob said. "Whatever makes it easier for you. Just remember what I said. You spill as much as a single word and you'll see what I'm capable of."

  Erik threw the box on the floor and the remains of Buddy scattered all over the wooden planks. As he was about to walk out the door, he turned his head and looked at Jacob, making sure he was looking straight into his eyes.

  "You have no idea what I'm capable of," he said, just before he slammed the door.

  19

  December 2013

  SO PREBEN USED TO HAVE a crush on me, I thought to myself and tried hard not to laugh while the rest of the flock shared what they knew about the other classmates who weren't present, what they ended up doing, who they married and so on. I hadn't kept in contact with any of them since back then, so I didn't have any stories to share. All I knew was what I had seen on Facebook going through my old classmates' profiles and looking at their pictures, but everybody had probably done that.

  "I heard Louise became a police officer and married some police guy," Line said. "They have two children."

  "I heard he left her," Preben said. "Apparently she fell in love with her therapist and came out of the closet as lesbian."

  The flock giggled. "I always thought there was something about her," Line said laughing.

  "Probably turned gay after I screwed her," Jacob said with a grin and leaned back in the chair. "I ruined her. It was so good no man would ever be able to top it."

  "I think you're right," Line said. "After being with you she figured there was no way she could ever be with a man again."

  That comment made me laugh.

  Jacob smiled ironically, then drank his brandy. Line grinned. I sensed Preben's eyes were on me constantly, even if he tried to hide it and look away every time I turned my head in his direction. I kept thinking about our time in high school. Now that I knew the truth, it suddenly all made sense. But back then I had no idea he had a thing for me. I had always seen him as this pompous bastard who hung out with Jacob Lomholdt and his gang. I don't think I even thought he was capable of having feelings for anyone, let alone me. It was quite funny. I couldn't help wondering if he still felt something?

  Nah, that was silly. Why would he after all these years? He had married some girl from his clinic, he had told us during lunch. It was probably just a high school thing.

  "Whatever happened to your friend Erik?" I asked Jacob. "You two used to be so close."

  Jacob Lomholdt paused. He cleared his throat before he answered. "To be frank, I have no idea. I haven't seen him in years."

  "Didn't you start up that company together?" I asked. "The one that was sold for millions? I remember seeing his picture in the paper back then."

  "Yes. We did. We started it up and sold it and then we never saw each other again."

>   I stared at Jacob who seemed to be sweating slightly.

  "He is dead too," Soren Hedelund said.

  "Excuse me?" I asked.

  "Erik died in 2005. I read his obituary in the paper."

  I stared at Soren wondering what the heck was going on here. "Is this true?" I asked and looked at Jacob.

  He shrugged. "Beats me. Like I said I haven't seen him in years. We didn't end as the best of friends."

  The atmosphere in The Green Room was getting more and more tense, I sensed. Almost strangely tense. It was like there was so much unsaid in the room, so much spoken between the lines, that I didn't understand.

  "So Emma you have two children, huh?" Soren Hedelund suddenly said.

  I smiled. I loved talking about my children. "Yes, Maya and Victor."

  "And how old is Maya exactly?" he asked.

  "Fourteen. She is turning fifteen in March, why?"

  "Wow that is old. You must have gotten pregnant right after we graduated, then huh?"

  I blushed. "Well, yes. Not that it is any of your business, but yes," I said, feeling suddenly a little uncomfortable. Why was he suddenly sticking his nose in my affairs? Was he trying to make us all feel uncomfortable? Or was he just so drunk he didn't care what he said to people? Did he have an agenda?

  Maya's story wasn't something I wanted anyone to know about. I had been pregnant early in life and I never regretted keeping the child, even if my mother had encouraged me to terminate the pregnancy in order to not ruin my life. It had been a hard time in my life, probably the hardest I could recall. Only my dad had been supportive of me and told me to do what I felt was the right thing for me. I knew he wanted me to have the child, even if he never told me. Like me, he knew I would be able to handle it, even though I was very young myself. Even Maya's father, Michael, whom I later married hadn't wanted me to have the child at the time. He told me he wasn't ready to be a parent at the age of nineteen. But I never doubted that I wanted her and I never cared what anyone else had to say about it. To this day, I was so grateful that I had the guts to stand up to all of them. I couldn't imagine a life without Maya.

  "That's very interesting," Soren said, grinning from ear to ear. "So great that you ended up having a GIRL, isn't it?" he said looking at Jacob and Preben. Something was going on between them, some sort of power struggle that I didn't want any part of.

  The three others were staring at him like he had completely lost it. I found his comments a little weird and his questions a little more personal than what I wanted to share with them. Luckily, at that moment the waiter entered The Green Room and looked at all of us.

  "Dinner will be served in The Red Room at half past six," he said. "Anyone who wishes to take a stroll on the beach before it gets dark outside is welcome to do so. But do it now. We're expecting a storm tonight."

  I looked at him. "Say, do you know who is paying for all of this?" I asked while he took our cups and placed them on a silver tray.

  "I do not, Miss Frost. All I know is that your host will be joining you for dinner later on."

  20

  December 2013

  "IT'S ALWAYS THE MOST beautiful right before a storm, huh?"

  Preben walked up to Emma who was standing by the window looking out at the beach. After debating for a little while who the mysterious host could be, everyone else had left the room and Preben had spotted Emma walking to the window.

  "It looks so quiet out there," she said and smiled. Just as Preben had thought, she had perfect teeth. No cavities, no dead brown teeth. Probably took good care of them too.

  "I was thinking about taking a walk before it gets dark," she continued.

  Preben nodded and looked down at his shoes like he used to as a teenager when he got embarrassed. He felt strange, weird even. It was like all the emotions and behaviors of his teenage years, all the ones he thought he had put behind him long ago, suddenly bloomed up again inside of him. It was something he couldn't control. It made him angry that he could yet again feel like this and be out of control. He had spent so many years trying to regain control of himself and his life and never let anyone or anything hold him back.

  "Sounds great," he said with a shivering voice.

  You fool. You're acting like an idiot! Stop it. Walk away before you say something stupid like you always do.

  "I'm sorry about all that earlier," he said. "I have no idea what came over Soren. Why he had to say all those things."

  Emma chuckled. "He was drunk, I guess."

  Preben chuckled too. "I guess."

  Emma turned her head and looked at Preben. He felt a pinch in his stomach. Her soft eyes stared at him and he remembered how he had longed for her all those years, how badly he had wanted her back then, and how badly he still did.

  "Well, I think I'll get going," she said. "Better get my jacket and probably my scarf, huh?"

  Preben blushed when she mentioned the scarf. It was true he had stolen it, but not for the reason they thought. It wasn't just so he could look at it or even sniff it like some pervert. No he had used it to wrap around the girls he had sex with, pretending, imagining that they were her.

  "It's cold out so you'll need it," he said, thinking again about the scarf that he always brought with him and that was waiting in his suitcase upstairs to be used again. This time for a very special occasion. This time it would be used by the very person who had always been supposed to wear it. Preben smiled while imagining himself wrapping it around her throat and tightening it till she gasped for air. He still remembered how badly it had hurt back in high school when she had turned him down. It hurt him even more now that he realized she didn't even remember. When they told her about his crush, she had said she had no idea.

  How could she not know? He had asked her if he could be her date to the graduation dance. After weeks of preparing what to say. And what had her answer been? She had told him she wasn't going with anyone. She wanted to go with her girlfriends instead. How could she not remember that terrifying day, when he remembered it every day of his life since?

  Now he imagined how she would fight for her life while he had his way with her. He pictured the frightened look in her eyes, the look of utter deep fear that he loved so much. That he craved like nothing else in this world. It had been a while since he had done it last. What was it? Five years? Yes, he had kept a low profile for a long time now, long enough. Ever since the police had been on to him with that girl they found in the dumpster who was a patient of his. He had gotten too careless, thought he was safe, but suddenly they had showed up at his doorstep asking all kinds of questions. They never did suspect him, but it had gotten too close. So he had needed to stop for a long time. It almost drove him nuts and made him angry and impatient with his surroundings, but it had been necessary. Now he felt that deep urge, that hunger to feel the sensation again, and doing it to Emma would be absolute perfection. It was too big of a temptation.

  It was exactly what he had always fantasized about.

  "Well, I'll go get my things, then," Emma said and smiled.

  "Enjoy your walk," Preben said with a grin.

  "Thank you."

  Preben closed his eyes and smelled her as Emma walked past him and left the room. He felt a set of eyes upon him after she left and turned to look into the eyes of Jacob Lomholdt, who was standing in a dark corner of the room, lurking. He approached him with a smirk.

  "You can have your fun with her later," he said. "First you and I have some unfinished business to attend to."

  21

  December 2013

  LINE WAS WALKING AROUND IN her room feeling anxious. Something about this whole arrangement was simply off. Line bit her nails and stared out the window at the quiet ocean. Preben had told her he thought she had been the one to tell, but she wasn't. She had kept quiet all these years even though it was eating her up inside.

  That horrific, terrible dark secret.

  She had kept her mouth shut and now she feared that they didn't believe her. She wa
s perfectly aware of what was going to happen to her if they thought she told anyone. They had made that perfectly clear on that day in July 1998, two weeks after graduation.

  There was only one person Line really loved in this world and that was her younger brother Arthur. But Arthur wasn't like most little boys. Mentally, he was never going to be older than a one-year old. But no matter what, Line loved him like crazy and took care of him ever since their parents had placed him in a home, not wanting to have to take care of him themselves. Line visited him very day and brought cookies for him even though she wasn't allowed to. She made sure he was happy and never lonely in that awful place.

  But on that day, two weeks after graduation, he hadn't been in his room when she arrived with the cookies in her pocket. She had asked all of the personnel and looked for him outside in the park, even though she knew they never allowed the kids out there; she thought he might have gone out on his own somehow. But no. He was nowhere to be found. Anxious, she had alarmed the personnel of the home and, along with the police, they had started a search. They found him three days later tied to a tree by the lake ten miles from the home. He was thoroughly dehydrated and traumatized so badly they had to strap him down at night from then on so he wouldn't hurt himself. When they washed his clothes, they found a note in his pocket that said:

  IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE, KEEP QUIET ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW.

  The police had asked her numerous times if she knew what the note meant and who had written it, but she had told them she didn't. That was, naturally, a lie. She knew perfectly well and she also knew that she had to obey.

  Now, Line found her cell-phone and called the home.

  "Can I speak to Arthur, please?"

  Arthur came to the phone. "Hi sweetie. It's Line. How are you holding up?"