Cross your heart and hope to die (Emma Frost #4)

by Willow Rose

  I put the empty bottle down and suddenly another urgent need appeared. I tried to ignore it, but many hours of holding it in made it impossible to keep ignoring it. I looked at Jesper and handed him the flashlight.

  "I need to go to the bathroom. I won't be long, I promise. All I need from you is for you to keep a close eye on everyone here. Make sure no one leaves the lobby. It's very important. If anyone tries anything, you come and get me. Knock on the bathroom door, okay?"

  "Got it," Jesper said.

  "Be right back."

  50

  December 2013

  I RAN TO THE BATHROOM. Literally. It annoyed me immensely that I had to go, but I knew I couldn't go all night without going, so now was as good a time as any.

  I opened the door to the restroom, sat down and did what I had to do. Barely had I put back on my pants and washed my fingers before there was an eager knock on the door.

  "Crap," I said and hurried to wipe my fingers on the towel. It had to be Jesper. Someone had tried something. "Be right there," I yelled and ran to the door. I grabbed the handle and swung the door open.

  Then I gasped.

  A mask stared back at me. A wooden African mask. The person wearing it was holding a flashlight in their hand that lit up the mask from underneath.

  I backed up. "Wh … Who are you?"

  The masked person lifted their other arm and I spotted the long needle in their hand. Fear struck me. I screamed, then reached out both of my hands and just as the person struck the needle towards my eye, I pushed him in the stomach. The needle slid past my eye, but hit my nose instead and went straight through the skin.

  I screamed as it pierced my nose. Then I reached down in my pocket and pulled out the icepick that I was still carrying around. The masked person was coming at me with fists clenched and took a swing at my face. With a roar, I swung the icepick and managed to hit their shoulder. The masked person screamed and fell backwards. I grabbed the handle of the icepick and pulled it out. The sound it made coming out of the shoulder was unbearable. With a grunt, I lifted the icepick again and stood bent over the masked person while holding it in the air. The masked person kicked me hard on the knee and I fell to the ground with a whimper. The person tried to get away, but I grabbed their leg with one hand, lifted the icepick with the other and hammered it through their thigh. The person screamed and whimpered. Once again I grabbed the handle of the icepick and pulled it out even though the sound almost made me throw up. I wasn't going to let go of my weapon and be completely defenseless. Like a crazy woman, I roared and stood with the blood smeared icepick above this mysterious person. Then, I reached down and grabbed the mask and pulled it off. A set of blue eyes looked back at me. I recognized them from somewhere, but couldn't quite figure out from where. They belonged to a woman about my age, with short blond hair. She growled, grabbed my hand and tried to bite me when I swung my fist through the air and hit her jaw. She was knocked back, but still awake as I grabbed her leg and started dragging her back towards the lobby. She screamed and tried to get loose, but I held her tight and she was in too much pain to succeed. I kicked open the door leading into the lobby and dragged her after me. A flashlight was pointed at me as I entered the room.

  "Emma?" Soren said.

  I grunted and pulled the woman across the tiles closer to the flock, then threw her on the floor. I took my belt and tied her hands behind her back.

  "What on earth happened to your nose?" Soren asked.

  I realized I still had the needle stuck in it and that it hurt like crazy. I lifted the mask into the air. Jesper lit it with his flashlight. A few people gasped. Preben yelled.

  "That's it! That's the one!"

  "I know," I said and looked down at the woman.

  Jesper shone the flashlight on her face. Preben gasped. "I know you!"

  "Chef?" Jesper exclaimed.

  "No," said Preben.

  "Yes," Line said. "That's the woman who gave me foie gras in the kitchen before I was attacked."

  "But …" Preben stopped.

  "Maria?"

  The voice was Jacob's. Jesper shone the flashlight on his face.

  "Jacob?" I said surprised. I looked at him. He was sitting up but still looked sick, almost greenish in the face. He blinked and hid his eyes from the bright light.

  "He woke up while you were gone," Soren said.

  "You know this woman?" I asked Jacob.

  Jacob opened his mouth but was interrupted before he could speak even a word.

  "She is my wife." The sound of Erik's computer made me turn my head.

  Jesper shone the light on him as he rolled his wheelchair through the door. "Sorry, couldn't help hearing the turmoil."

  "Erik? She's your wife?" I asked.

  "Was," he corrected me with the help of the computer. "We were divorced in 2009."

  51

  December 2013

  I STARED AT ERIK IN disbelief. I felt confused beyond imagining.

  "I have no idea what she is doing here," the computer said. "We split up four years ago and I haven't seen her or our children since. The mask I recognize, though. Maria traveled a lot before we met each other and was in Kenya in 1999 a few months before we met. It used to hang in our living room."

  "Split up?" Maria hissed. "You threw me out. You threw all of us out, you heartless bastard. You turned your back on your own children."

  "Yes, I threw you out. I didn't want to have you in my life anymore. Every time I looked at your face it reminded me of what had happened to me, of what I had lost. When I looked at you and the girls I remembered what I used to have and who I used to be. I didn't want to remember anymore. I wanted to forget, because I knew I could never be that person again or have that life anymore. Besides things had gotten out of hand in our marriage. I finally had enough, Maria. I wrote an e-mail to the police telling them you were keeping me hostage in my own house and that I wanted you out. Then I had my lawyer draw up the papers and soon the police came to remove you. You kept me locked up for years, Maria, while you partied and had sex with men near my door to make sure I could hear it."

  "You were the one who pushed me away. With all the yelling and the cursing and calling me names. It was unbearable. Then you divorced me and left me with nothing. No money. A single mom with two kids and no job," she said. "I hadn't worked for years since I sacrificed everything, my entire career, so you could pursue yours, remember? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a job when you've been out of the workforce for ten years? I used to be the head chef at Nimb, goddammit. At one of Denmark's finest restaurants. It has taken me the last four years to work my way back up again. I had to live with my parents for the entire first year. Do you have any idea how much of a torture that was?"

  "Well boohoo for you," Erik's computer said. "At least you can still work. You can walk, you can talk to the girls and tell them how much you love them without having to have this mechanical voice speak for you. You can live like a normal person."

  "Well tell that to the court that declared me to be an unfit mother and took the girls away from me, just because I had to spend six months in a mental institution."

  "You tried to strangle your own mother, Maria."

  "So you think it's better for the girls to be with that foster family that they're living with now, huh?"

  "As a matter of fact, I do. Especially when I look at you now and what you've done. You have completely lost it, haven't you? You've gone mad."

  "STOP!"

  Jesper turned the flashlight towards Preben who was the one who had yelled. Still holding an icepack to his face, Preben had now gotten up from the mattress and was looking at Maria and Erik.

  "Stop, stop, stop," he said. "I don't want to hear any more of your little quarrels. I want answers and I want them now. Why the HELL did I have to have a needle stuck in my eye, can you please answer that, huh, dear Maria?"

  The flashlight was now on Maria's face. She grinned.

  "Because you deserve it, you ba
stard. All of you. You ruined my life. You destroyed it with that little experiment of yours, or game or whatever you call it. This was my way of getting back at you. If it hadn't been for you and what you did on your graduation night, I would still have my husband; I would still have my life."

  "That's it," I said and stepped forward so Jesper could shine the light on me. "I want to know what she is talking about. Can someone please explain to me what she is talking about?"

  There was silence for a long time.

  "I think I deserve to know."

  Then there was laughter. It was Maria who was laughing. "That's priceless. None of you have come clean yet, huh? Poor little Emma who doesn't know a thing."

  "Don't tell her anything," Preben hissed.

  "Why not?" Line suddenly asked.

  "Because we all made a promise, remember? Emma could never know. You made an oath on your life," Preben answered.

  "Yeah, but it kind of doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Soren asked. "

  "What is that supposed to mean?" Preben asked.

  "Erik already told us he will reveal everything to her in the morning if none of us kills him first."

  "So what?" Preben said. "We just kill him, right? Jacob?"

  "I don't know anymore, Preben. It has all gotten a little out of hand if you ask me. I mean, look at you and Line."

  "I'll be glad to tell her," Maria said. "And, frankly, it doesn't matter if you want me to or not. I don't give a shit about any of you."

  "Thank you," I said. I was still holding the icepick tight in my hand in case any of them tried anything. I wasn't so sure I could trust this Maria-person, she was grinning like a madman and had clearly lost it a long time ago.

  52

  December 2013

  "IT ALL HAPPENED AT THE graduation party," Maria said. "How much do you remember of that night?"

  I thought for a few seconds. "Not much. Me, Line and three other girls had rented a limo to get to the party and drank loads of champagne on our way there. I was pretty drunk. I remember eating dinner in the big hall at the school and then dancing Les Lanciers as it is tradition. But that is pretty much it."

  Maria smiled and tilted her head. "Well isn't that just fantastic?" She laughed. "So you don't remember Preben asking you to go to the dance with him?"

  "Goddammit, Maria I'm gonna kill you," Preben yelled. "Did you tell her all this, Erik? Did you?"

  "Yes," Erik said.

  I blushed. "I don't remember that, no."

  Maria laughed again. "Well then let me tell you everything. They made a race. All four of them were in on it."

  "What kind of race?"

  "A race to determine a bet they had made earlier in the evening. It was Erik, Preben, Jacob and Soren. In biology class, they had been discussing sperm with the teacher Hans Frandsen. Some new research that Jacob had come across suggested that female sperm traveled slower than male sperm. You know sperm can either be male or female, that is how the sex of the baby is determined. So the theory was that the male sperm was faster but didn't live as long and in their drunkenness that night the four boys decided to verify it. It started as just a joke while they were meeting at Jacob's house and having a few drinks before the party. After having smoked a joint and hit some speed, they started joking about it and suddenly one of them, Jacob again, I believe, told the others that they should make a bet. So they did. Jacob and Preben both put their money on the male sperm. They thought it was stronger and more durable than female, and that if you put those two up against each other, the male sperm would win; it would be a boy. Soren and Erik bet against them. They said the female could survive longer and endure more, so therefore, the female would win. At this point they were extremely drunk and arguing wildly. They were pretty out of it, so it never occurred to them that one or the other would always win … that’s how we end up with both boys and girls in this world. They were too drunk to realize that, of course, or this whole thing could have been avoided. They bet a lot of money and prepared the race. They decided they needed as much different sperm as possible to enhance the chances of having both female and male sperm in the sample and so they all masturbated into a cup and it was mixed into a needleless syringe. They brought Line into it, by asking for her help once they arrived at the party at the school. They told her they wanted to use you, Emma, and she had to lure you into the biology lab. Actually it was Preben's idea to use you, since he was so angry with you for refusing to go to the party with him, but anyway Jacob gave Line a Roofie, you know … the drug and she slipped it to you in your drink at some point during the party at the school. Preben talked to you and hit on you until you passed out and he grabbed you in his arms. He carried you to the biology lab where they inseminated you with the semen from all four of them. They thought they were so clever and had so much fun with it. They made sure you got home alright and then went back to the school to party on like the animals they were. It wasn't until they sobered up the next day they all realized what they had done. But by then it was too late. You became pregnant, but they realized they could never tell you or anyone since they would end up in jail. So they swore each other to secrecy or death. Cross our hearts and hope to die, they said. So they kept this from you for all these years. There you go. That's the big secret that they're all willing to kill to keep, the one that destroyed my entire life. Jacob was so stupid and high that he took pictures of the entire thing with a camera that belonged to the biology lab. Hans Frandsen, the biology teacher saw the pictures and threatened to tell on them. Later, they had Soren kill him."

  Maria stopped talking. An odd silence spread in the lobby. I stared at her not knowing what to say. I felt so many things that I had no words. It took me a long time to realize what this meant.

  "Did … is … Excuse me … what?" I stuttered.

  In those minutes I was on a rollercoaster of emotions, but eventually the anger took over and make me clearheaded. My voice was quivering with anger as I spoke.

  "So what you're saying is that one of these four bastards is the father of my oldest child? Is that what you're telling me here?"

  Maria grinned. "I guess so. Big surprise, huh?"

  "But … but … Is this some freaking joke? Preben? Soren? Erik? What is the meaning of all this? Line?"

  "I … I have no excuse, Emma," Line said. "You know I used to have a thing for Jacob … I guess I thought if I helped them I'd …"

  "I don't want to hear it," I said. "I can't deal with your explanations right now. I need some time to think this …"

  I stopped myself. It suddenly all came together for me. It was true, my pregnancy with Maya had always been a mystery to me. I had become pregnant shortly after graduation, but I had always thought it was Michael who was the father. I had met him that summer only two weeks after graduation, and, by accident, I became pregnant. At least that was what I had thought, but the doctors kept telling me I was further along in my pregnancy than I thought. I never told Michael that since I thought it didn't matter. He was the only one I had slept with that summer, so it had to be him. We had Maya then split up for a couple of years when I dated someone else, until we finally got back together again and had Victor.

  I fumbled backwards and found a chair. I sat down and held a hand to my face. It was like the entire foundation of my adult life had been pulled away from beneath me. How on Earth was I ever going to explain this to Maya?

  53

  December 2013

  "OKAY, SO I BUY THE fact that you wanted to punish me and the boys for having destroyed your life," Line said to Maria. "But why did the bell-boy have to be hurt? Why did the clerk have to get killed?"

  "The clerk was in my way," Maria said. "He was going up to get Erik and I had to prevent him from doing that. He saw me. He saw my face. So I strangled him. But he was expendable. The rest of you, I wanted to suffer like I had, not give you the pleasure of dying. I wanted you to look at yourselves in the mirror every day and be reminded of what you had done. The bell-boy was an accident
. It was dark and I thought he was Soren. We can call it wastage, right?"

  I felt sick from her cynicism.

  "Why try and hurt me?" I asked, feeling the needle in my nose. It still hurt but I didn't dare pull it out. The mere thought of doing so made me feel even sicker. "I had nothing to do with any of it."

  "Well, we're just the innocent little one, aren't we? To be honest, you're the one I'm mostly mad at. You deciding to have that baby ruined everything for me. Erik never stopped thinking about her and whether she could be his. That's why I had to stop him when he went to see you and tell you the truth in 2005. He was about to ruin everything. I couldn't have a husband in jail and a bastard running around demanding child support. It was humiliating. I had to prevent him from destroying my life."

  "Even if it meant killing him?" I asked.

  I looked at Erik who went pale. He typed on his computer. I saw tears roll across his face when Jesper lit up his face with the flashlight.

  "You're sick, Maria. My God, how I hate you," the computer said. He hid his face in his hands and cried.

  "That was why you called?" I asked him. "I remember you asked to meet me somewhere in Copenhagen at a park in 2005, but you never showed up."

  Erik nodded and looked at me. He typed on his computer. "It had been torturing me for years. I wanted to tell you everything. I hated myself for what we had done. I still hate myself for it."

  "But you never made it because …" I paused and looked at Maria. She didn't even seem sorry for what she had done. "And all this time you thought Preben, Jacob and Soren did this to you to shut you up."

  Erik nodded again. I could tell he wanted to say something, and it frustrated him like crazy that he couldn't. All these regrets, all this anger built up inside of him and he couldn't let it out properly. Instead, he cried. Hid his face and cried.