by Jahquel J
“Damn, crackhead.” I heard the tail end of what the fuck she was over there venting about. Call me what the fuck you want, but I wasn’t no damn crackhead.
“The fuck you called me?”
“Yolani, stop acting like you’re so high and mighty. You fucking running around here with a damn problem. Bet Yoshon don’t know his sister is fucking around with the product too, huh?” My brain had communicated with my hand, and it formed a fist. Next thing I knew, I was on top of Cherry, and punching the shit out of her. The bitch was screaming and trying to claw at my face.
Hazel and her bullshit pissed me off, Cherry calling me a crack head added to that, and the fact that I was letting Yoshon down by having this little addiction. I could stop when I wanted, and I wasn’t ready to. I was having fun and chilling, right? My hand snagged on something and the pain made me jump back quickly. When I did, Cherry laid there in a pool of her blood and her face was unrecognizable.
“Cherry, stop playing… get up.” I kicked her leg. She didn’t move and appeared to be dead. Checking her pulse, she barely had life left in her. Grabbing my phone out the glass on the floor, I called Grape.
“Yo?”
“Come to the address I’m ‘bout to send to you,” that was all I said, and I ended the call. Grape was always in the hood, so I knew he was somewhere close. That nigga didn’t retire until the end of the day, and even then, he still never brought his ass to his crib.
Grape arrived twenty minutes later. He told me he was at his favorite Spanish spot that wasn’t too far from Cherry’s apartment. When he saw everything, his eyes jumped out his socket. Grape was a real reserved dude, not too much made him give a reaction. If he had a reaction, I knew the shit was all bad.
“The fuck happened, Yolani?” he asked as he stepped over the glass and headed over to Cherry. “She alive?”
“Yeah… I mean, when I last checked she was.”
He stared at me. “You high?”
“Yeah, I smoked me a L before you came.” It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know all of that right now. When he needed to know was how the fuck was we going to get her to a hospital?
“What the fuck you want me to do? Call an ambulance for her?”
“What the fuck you mean? I pay you good money to make shit like this disappear,” I barked and he stared at me unfazed.
“Your brother pays me, not you. Second, you need to handle this shit on your own. That coke on the floor?”
“Yeah, she was about to roll up her some blunts with some.” Why was this nigga focused on the wrong shit?
“Same blunt you were smoking?” He was skeptical.
“Nah, I roll my own blunts. Always will. We got into it because she was stealing shit from me.” Cherry wouldn’t steal from me. Still, I had to think of a reason why I would beat the shit out of her like this.
“Ight, pull her in the staircase, wipe all this shit down and lock her apartment and call the cops. I’m not getting blood on me, so call your flunkies,” he told me and dipped out the apartment. The way he stared at me didn’t sit right with me. Grape wasn’t going to speak on anything until he had proof. I was safe for now, yet that meant I had to stay on guard around his ass.
Instead of calling my dumb asses, I did all the work alone. I made sure no blood traced back to her apartment. Once I was done, I removed every trace of myself out of her apartment and dipped down the block. Calling the ambulance, I dropped the burner phone into the drain and headed to my crib. Hazel’s ass could stop bugging now that I’ll be spending a few days away from the streets. When I found out what’s good with Cherry, I didn’t need to be seen. We had people who could have just killed her and got rid of her body. The thought crossed my mind and it quickly diminished. I couldn’t do that shit to Cherry. She got on my nerves and nagged like Hazel, but she didn’t deserve to die. I hopped in my whip and headed home with the quickness. My wife was going to be hype to see my ass when I got there. She couldn’t stay mad at me, and I knew we would spend all night talking about communicating better. I had a million other ways I’d rather spend my night, but I was going to give her what she wanted.
“Where you at, babe?” I yelled when I walked through the door. The shoes and shit was scattered everywhere.
“Yolani, is that you?” I heard Pit Pat’s voice.
“Pit Pat? What you doing here?” She came down the stairs slowly and smiled when she laid eyes on me.
“Why do I have to come to your house to see you?” she embraced me and checked me over like she always did. “You okay, gurl?”
“Yes, Pit. I’m just chilling and getting this money.”
“Uh huh, your braids have seen better days,” she criticized. “Why your pants so baggy?” s=She nit-picked everything.
“Cause I’m barely eating. Hazel’s ass don’t never cook and I grab what I can. Where’s Hazel?”
“Not here.” She stirred something in the pot. I knew she would be the one to get to cooking soon as she stepped through the door of our home. “I was straightening up the bedrooms upstairs before I got down here. She at the shop?”
“Not at ten at night. Pit Pat, you don’t need to be up cooking and cleaning?”
“You’re right, I shouldn’t, but who is going to do it? You? Hazel? I think not.” She waved her wooden spoon at me. “Where’s your wife at dis time?”
Pulling my phone out, I dialed her number and it went straight to voicemail. Dialing it again, the same thing happened. “Pit, let me get your phone.”
Digging in her apron, she handed me her iphone. I dialed Hazel’s number and she answered. “Hey Pit Pat, what’s up?”
“Yo, where you at?”
“Oh, you’re finally spending time with your grandmother. Nice.”
“Kill all that attitude shit and bring your ass home,” I demanded and she giggled. The fuck was she giggling at?
“I’m funny now? Don’t make me come and drag you wherever the fuck you at!” I barked because I was getting mad. I’m home and she needed to be fucking here with me.
“Yolani, you sound like you need a nap. I’m taking some days for myself, and I’ll be home when I feel like it. I’ll either see you when I get there, or not. Choice is yours,” she snickered and ended the call.
Staring at the call, I was shocked that she fucking ended the call on me. Hazel ran when I said run. If I told her to jump, she was grabbing a ruler and asking me how high I wanted her to jump. The fact that she was out and didn’t tell me where she was pissed me off. I took my phone and dialed her best friend’s number. Mo answered just as I was about to hang up the phone.
“Yolani, is everything alright?”
“Where’s Hazel?”
“In her skin, why?”
“Where the fuck is she? I know you know, what bitch she got whispering in her ear?” This wasn’t Hazel. She didn’t pull shit like this so somebody had to be in her ear.
“Why does someone have to be in her ear? Maybe she just got tired of your bullshit, did you think of that?”
“I really don’t got time for your shit right now. Tell me where my wife is, Mo.”
“I don’t either. I have a class tomorrow morning and three babies to get bathed and ready for school. And, I already told you, she’s in her skin. Night, Yolani.” She ended the call.
Tonight, was play with Yolani night. The shit had me ready to tip this entire house upside down to find out where the fuck she was. Pit Pat held her hand out for her phone and shook her head.
“What now?”
“You do this to yourself. That woman loves you and you push her off as burden. Karma.”
“She knew what it was when we got together.”
“Hazel knew what it was because she was your best friend, not wife. You being busy as her friend is different than being busy as her wife. Think on that,” she told me and headed upstairs.
Sitting on the island, I received a call from Cherry’s sister. “Yo,” I tried to sound casual and relaxed.
“Oh my God, Yolani. Someone attached Cherry!” she screamed.
“What? How the fuck that happened?”
“The cops are saying someone robbed her for her purse. She didn’t have anything in her hands, and then her apartment was in a shamble.”
“The cops went into her apartment?”
“No, once the coke on the floor I locked it up and told them she stayed with me. Who could have done this?”
“She dead?”
“They’re working on her now. I feel like I can’t breathe, you think you can come and wait with me?”
“Nah, I’m out of town right now. I’m about to look for a flight to be there with you. I’m ‘bout to pain the town red to find out who did this shit. Stay strong, sis.”
“Yolani, she’s so lucky to have you. She was telling me she was going to end things with you, and I told her that you were good for her. Thank you!” she cried on the phone. Little did she know, she was crying to the same person who put her in that hospital.
“Don’t worry about all of that. Before anything, Cherry is my friend and I’m gonna make sure she’s straight. Hold tight and I’ll let you know when I can get a flight back home.”
“Okay,” she sighed and ended the call.
Sitting back, I rubbed my temples and thought about all the shit that had transpired through the day. I was better off staying my ass under the covers and not doing shit. I had my wife pissed at me and now my side bitch was in someone’s operating room, fighting for her life. Touching my pocket, I felt the little baggie I hadn’t touched since earlier. Grabbing some water, I went upstairs and locked myself in my master suite. If Hazel wasn’t coming home, I was about to be in another damn planet until her hardheaded ass decided to bring her ass on home.
12
Golden
Pit Pat had went over to spend a few days at Yoshon’s sister's house. I hadn’t met her yet and I didn’t want to. From the way Hazel described her wife, I was good not meeting her just yet. It was the weekend and Gyan was downstairs in the basement playing with the million games systems that Yoshon had stored down there. Yoshon had left this morning and told me where the car keys were in case I needed to go somewhere. Pit Pat hadn’t had a chance to go food shopping since she cooked, so I took it upon myself to use the cash he had left on the counter for take-out and went food shopping. How much food did he expect us to order? Me and Gyan loved to eat, yet we didn’t eat like a family of six, which is how much money he left to feed.
“Mom, I’m done playing the game… is dinner almost finished?” he questioned as he pulled himself up on the stool at the counter.
“I’m just waiting for the cheese and sauce to melt all over. Look at you, you’re sweating,” I ran my hand across his forehead. “You okay?”
“Yeah, that game had me upset.” He blew it off.
Shaking my head, I chuckled. “Had fun down there? You left me up here all alone.” I griped and he laughed at me.
“Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, baby.”
“Will Mr. Yoshon get tired us and kick us out like Cindy did?” It hurt my heart that my son had to worry about how long the roof over his head would last. It hurt that he had to witness people letting us down. It was one thing for me to deal with it, but for my son to see it too, hurt like a bitch.
“I’ll tell you this. If that ever does happen, mommy will have it set up where we will still have a roof over our heads, okay?”
“Okay,” he smiled at me. “Love you, Mom.”
“Hmm, I’m not sure how I feel about you calling me mom.”
“Mommmmmm,” he dragged his words out.
“Okay, okay, I know, you’re growing up. Still hurts though.”
I smiled as I went to pull out the stuffed shells I had made for dinner. Along with a salad and freshly baked garlic bread. Cooking had always been my favorite thing to do. Grand could say anything he wanted about me, but he came home every night to a home cooked meal made from scratch. The least I could do was cook and make sure Yoshon had something warm to eat when he made it home. Pit Pat had left me with instructions on how to care for him. I found it funny that she still treated her grandchildren like they needed her help. I guess it kept her busy, so she continued to care for them like she had when they were younger. Gyan licked his lips when he saw me pull the glass pan out of the stove. The cheese was bubbling, and the kitchen was filled with the aromas from the food.
“Go on and set the table so we can eat,” I called out to him and he jumped down to go do what I told him to.
Smiling, I stared down at the food because I couldn’t wait to eat some of it. I spent all day filling in Pit Pat’s house slippers. For the life of me, I didn’t know how that woman got around and did as much as she did. After cleaning and trying to settle down to cook, I was exhausted. Still, I would rather take this, than sleeping in my car. Not to mention, no one told me to clean, I just did it on my own. Yoshon wanted me to be his assistant but hadn’t provided me with any work yet. The only thing I did was grab a suit for him while taking Gyan to school. Oh, and his coffee. After that, he didn’t ask me to do anything else from him. This was my life when I lived with Grand. All I did was care for him and my son, so it was something that I was used to. It still felt strange because I wasn’t working two jobs or trying to figure out a way to feed myself and Gyan.
“Okay, it’s super-hot.” I smiled and placed the plate down in front of my son. The smile on his face was all I needed. He was satisfied and was ready to risk burning himself just to get a quick taste.
“Mama, this is good. I love when you cook,” He stuck his fork deeper into his plate.
“You just like to fill your stomach, greedy.”
“That too,” he chuckled.
We continued to eat and talk about school. He told me about his test he had coming up, and I told him about our plans for the summer. This summer I was going to take my son to Disney world. He had never been and each time I asked Grand, he told me he couldn’t get away for a week. I begged and pleaded for us to take a family vacation and it never happened. It bothered me that he could never take time for family. Then again, he was out there living wild and not being faithful to me. If I could go back, I would have followed everything my grandmother told me. She warned me about him and I chose not to listen to her. I chose to listen to this man telling me any and everything, instead of the only woman that was there for me. The woman who raised me when my mother just handed me up and went on about her life. For years I refused to pick up a phone and check on her because I was angry. She didn’t support my marriage, husband and didn’t want to be a part of her great-grandchild’s life. This whole time I thought I was punishing her, and now that I sit and think about it, I was punishing myself. I was the one who missed out on spending time with my grandmother and absorbing all the wisdom she loved to instill in me.
“Hey… oh, word? You cooked and couldn’t fix me a plate at the table?” Yoshon came into the kitchen. He came right on time because I was a few seconds from becoming emotional while thinking of my grandmother.
“Hey, how was your day?” I asked and pointed to the seat next to me. “I’ll fix you some right now.”
“Nah, I can fi—” he cut his sentence short when he saw the look on my face. He took my advice and sat down. “You gonna stop trying to check me and shit,” he laughed.
“Well, if you listened, you wouldn’t have to be checked. Now, how was your day?” He watched as I maneuvered around the counter.
“It was good. Had to go and check on a few things. Low-key, I’m happy that I didn’t come home to a empty house since Pit Pat’s gone,” he laughed.
“You lonely or something, Yoshon? To me, you can’t be that lonely with that huge hickey on the side of your neck,” I pointed out.
He tried to look away and I smiled, letting him know it was cool. It wasn’t like I didn’t know about his little friend. Pit Pat told me, and I let him know a few nights ago that I knew. He didn’t nee
d to hide when he was spending time with her.
“Why you all in my business?” he smirked.
“Not at all. I just see something that wasn’t there when you left. It’s cool, does she know that I’m here?”
“Why does that matter?”
“It matters because I don’t want her to feel like there’s something going on between us. I’m a woman and I know how we can get when another woman’s around our man.”
“Who said she was my woman or that I was her man?”
“That passion mark says otherwise.” I sat the plate in front of him and then sat down back in my seat. From his face, I could tell that he was about to demolish this food sitting in front of him.
“Mama, that was so good. Can I go wash up and watch TV in your bedroom?”
“Yes, you can… thank you, baby,” I smiled and went to put his plate in the sink. Gyan took off out the room and went to go get ready for bed. We’ve always slept together since living in Virginia. He didn’t like having a separate room from me and neither did I.
“Damn, this bread just melts in your mouth… Pause,” he added.
“Thanks. I made it from scratch. Haven’t baked bread in close to a year, and I still got it.” He nodded his head and tasted the shells.
“Shells is good as fuck too. Who taught you how to cook like this?”
“My grandmother was born in the south. They learned how to cook before walking, and she taught me. Every Sunday she would cook a big meal and it was just the two of us. A few cousins or aunts would always come by for a plate, and it was still too much for just us to eat.”
“We might need to make Pit Pat sit down for a few and let you take over the kitchen. Shit good as fuck, and I don’t eat everybody food.”
“Thanks.” I ate some of my salad.
Out the corner of my eye, I could see him staring a hole into my cheek. What was he looking at? Did I have food on my cheek? What the hell was this man staring at. Facing him, I expected him to turn back and act as if he wasn’t staring at me, but he didn’t. He continued to stare at me.
