by Jahquel J
“Hazel, we won’t be doing the birth control today because you’re currently pregnant.” All the air had been sucked out my lungs when he turned around and told me that. His expression didn’t seem like he was shocked at all. Too bad I was paying attention to his facial expression instead of his body language. The man was gripping the counter like he found out that he was fucking pregnant.
“What the fiuck do you mean I’m pregnant?”
“The pregnancy test we took came back as positive. You’re pregnant, Hazel. I don’t mean to pry in your business, however, I need to know. Does your wife know?”
With a blank expression, I rolled my eyes at him. “Do you think she fucking knows?” Getting down from the table, I grabbed my purse. My exam wasn’t over, and I still needed to stick around to find more out, and I would in due time. Today, I was past pissed, scared and worried and didn’t have time to sit here. Denim was who I needed to see, and I needed to see him – now.
“Hazel, come back, we’re not done.”
“We’re done today. I’ll make another appointment.” With that, I walked out the exam room and then the office with my phone to my ear. Denim’s stupid phone kept going to voicemail, and it was pissing me the hell off. “Listen, I need to talk to you, so stop playing these dumb games and answer the phone.” After leaving the voicemail, I went to his sneaker store.
One night after fucking the entire night, he had mentioned he had a lot coming up with his store. It was the afternoon, so I knew he wasn’t going to be at his condo unless he was taking the day off. Knowing Denim, taking the day off was like a slow torture to him.
His sneaker store was in Harlem, which wasn’t too far from where I was at. Pregnant? How could I be fucking pregnant? I was so careful; we were so careful. Even when we fucked, he pulled out. Yes, I knew that method didn’t always work, but he had a condom on, so it should have worked. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to act like Yolani’s strap on got me pregnant in Miami? How did I show up to my wife with a baby inside my stomach, knowing she didn’t have the equipment to get me pregnant? We wiped our slate clean in Miami, so I couldn’t bring up old shit to justify the fact that I went out, cheated and came back pregnant. The only person I thought to call was Golden. She had given me her number when I was over at the house a few weeks ago. We sent text messages back and forth, but nothing more. The reason I thought to call her was because she wasn’t close to the situation. She didn’t know Yolani or Denim. Shit, she barely knew me, so she couldn’t judge. Not to mention, she was sleeping in a car not too long ago with a kid, so her room for judgment was out the window.
“Hey Hazel!” her perky voice beamed through the phone.
“Hey Golden, you busy? Is Yoshon near you?”
“Yoshon?” she giggled his name like a silly school girl. Usually, I would pry and try to be nosey and I would eventually. Right now, it was about me and this crisis that I was having.
“Yes, is he around you?”
“Oh, no. I’m actually heading to his tanning salon to interview some potential employees. What’s going on?”
“I’m pregnant!” I blurted.
“Um, congrats, right? Pit Pat didn’t mention that you both were trying. I’m happy for you and I can’t wait to meet Yolani.”
“Because we weren’t. I’m cheating on Yolani.”
“Oh, so this is bad. What are you going to do? Was it a one-night stand? Did you do it on purpose because she wasn’t paying you any attention?”
“Golden, stop speaking so fast and asking so many questions. He’s my ex and kind of. Denim gave me attention when Yolani wasn’t. I got caught up and now I fucked up.”
“Let me ask you this, how do you feel?”
“Scared.”
“Well, duh. Besides scared. Do you think you can be a mother?”
“I do, but not like this. Yolani would never accept this baby and will divorce me. I can’t have his baby; it’s out the question.”
“Well, it sounds like you made up your choice. Why did you call me?”
“I needed someone who wasn’t so close to the situation to vent to.”
“Hazel, I don’t know much about you and Yolani’s situation, and I don’t care to know. One thing I do know, this baby isn’t a mistake, and it’s a blessing. No matter the outcome of your marriage, you need to focus on that child first. I’m not judging if you get an abortion, but get one for the right reasons, not because your wife won’t accept it.”
What Golden said to me was true. Then, I thought about Yolani’s face and my opinion switched. “Thanks, I need to go handle something.”
“Okay. Good luck.” She ended the call.
Parking in front of his sneaker store was thick, so I double parked. Rushing inside, I found Denim talking to two other men. When he saw me and my face, he knew I was about to start shit. Before he could fully make it over to me, I started talking.
“You can ignore my calls, but be up in here smiling and laughing with these niggas?”
“They’re my business partners, so you need to chill. Fuck with my heart, fine. But, when you fuck with my money, I’m not about to tolerate it. Go your ass to my office and wait for me to come.”
Just like he said, my ass was walking to his office and I plopped down. I always wanted kids and I had brought it up to Yolani plenty of times. She didn’t want children and voiced her opinion about it. She told me that she didn’t want a mini her looking up to her and possibly failing them. Her whole look on parenting was warped and I never tried to change it because I knew all she been through. Being a mother is something that I wanted to be, just not like this. It couldn’t be like this.
“The fuck was that about?” he came into the office and closed the door behind him. “Don’t fuck with my money, Hazel. You’ll meet another Denim if you do that shit.” He was serious and the vein in his neck was bulging out.
“I’m pregnant.” There was no other way that I could say it or soften the blow. At this point, it was what it was.
His expression softened. “Seriously?”
“Yes. I literally came straight from the doctor’s office.”
“You keeping it?”
“No.” My lips moved without me thinking. My brain had already made up a decision and it was one I needed to roll with. Bringing a baby into this mess wasn’t going to be smart.
“What the fuck you mean, no?”
“How do you really think I can come and tell Yolani that I’m pregnant? I’m not going to deliver a plastic baby, Denim.”
“Look, I don’t give a fuck about her. I care about my child you’re carrying. Why the fuck do you think you can make decisions like it won’t affect me?”
“It’s my body, Dem. Things are going right in my marriage and I can’t chance this.” He leaned on the wall and chuckled like I had just said the most funniest shit he had heard.
“What the hell is so funny?”
“How you running around claiming that you’re her wife, and you’re not even legally married?” he continued to laugh.
“Yes, we are. I was fucking there and we got married.” The day we got married, it was small, and we had one of Yoshon’s judge friends do the wedding. He married us, and Yolani told me she got the papers from him and all I needed to do was to sign, and everything would be done.
“Nah, you filed for a marriage license, but the shit was never filed. You’re not legally married, and I looked that shit up.” He went behind his desk and pulled some papers out and handed it to me.
Right in my face, staring me was our information and Yoshon’s friend never filed the certificate after he married us. This entire time I thought I was married and I wasn’t legally married. Did Yolani know about this? Was this the reason that my name wasn’t on the house or any of her bank accounts. Or why she kept putting off opening our joint account?
“W…why did you look this up?”
“You’re fucking life is a lie, but you so busy trying to run from the one thing t
rue in your life, Hazel. Ask wifey why she never had the documents filed. I’m sure she knows all about it.”
“Fuck you, Denim!” I screamed and left his office and store. Today was a day that I would never forget. If I chose to have this baby, I would tell him all about the day I found out about him. He came and stirred chaos into my life today. Getting into the car, I headed straight home. All the way home, I did eighty to ninety miles on the freeway. I needed to get home; I just needed to reach there quick.
You could tell something was wrong from the way I pulled into the driveway. Yoshon’s car was in the driveway. Great, this is just what the fuck I needed. When I walked through the door, I could smell pine sol and bleach. Pit Pat was doing her last bit of cleaning before she headed back home. It was nice having her here, not for the cooking or cleaning. Having someone to come home to was nice for a change. Usually, I came home to an empty house, and it got lonely at times.
“What’s good, Hazel?” Yoshon nodded as he ate a sandwich.
“Hey,” my reply was dry and I knew it was. His would be dry too if he found out all that I found out.
“Hazel, come upstairs, I need to show you something in your closet.”
“Ready for her to come home, nasty?”
“What you talking about?”
“One word; Golden,” was all I said and headed upstairs. This nigga stood there with a silly grin on his face.
When I got upstairs, Pit Pat was waiting in my bedroom. “Hazel, I don’t want to say this in front of Yoshon. He doesn’t need to know this,” she started. I could see the worry in her face from how she was speaking to me.
“Pit Pat, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t get into y’alls business, but Yolani a damn crack head,” she whispered to me. “I found this in her jeans while doing laundry.”
“Pit, you know she works around that stuff too.”
“It was empty, Hazel. I know my granddaughter, and she hasn’t been herself lately, and I knew something was up, I just didn’t know it was this bad.” Tears fell down her cheeks.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. She works around it and probably had it in her pocket or something.” Here I was downplaying it and Pit Pat took it upon herself.
“This is downplaying it, Hazel? She has a box under her side of the bed with empty baggies. They’re used.” She showed me the box and reality hit me. Here I thought Yolani was cheating on me and she was actually using coke. As if today couldn’t get any worse. Plopping on the bed, I put my head in my hands. Was this my karma for cheating on my fake marriage? Lord, please give me a sign because I was completely lost and confused on what step I should make next.
18
Yoshon
“Ma, you gotta get up,” I kissed Golden on the cheek to wake her. She groaned and pushed me away. “Gyan about to get up and he can’t see you leaving my room. Your rule, remember? I mean, if you want him to know, I don’t have no problem with it.”
“No, no, no, I’m not even sure what we’re doing so I’m not about to confuse him.” She sat up in the bed.
“I know what we’re doing and what we’ve been doing,” I smirked and she hit me.
“Pit Pat doesn’t even know about us, and she’s about to get up in a bit.” She pulled the covers off her body and slipped her feet into her slippers.
“They all could know about us.”
“No, Yoshon. You promised me,” she brought up the bullshit promise I made her.
After we spent the night fucking, she made me promise that I wouldn’t involve my family and she wouldn’t involve Gyan. What we were doing would stay between the both of us until we both said otherwise. How does she expect me to agree to something like that when I just climbed out some good ass pussy? Golden had me ready to call Grape and tell him that I found the one. This feeling I felt around her, it had been a while since I had felt that way about someone. She made me laugh, and I don’t mean a regular laugh. Shorty had me laughing all goofy in front of her. I made it home every night, but she had me coming home earlier because I couldn’t wait to sit across from her and Gyan while eating dinner. Pussy was just an added bonus to all of it.
“Ight, I promised. Give me a kiss and get out my room.”
She bent down and kissed me. “Don’t be shady now. Get some sleep because you need to head to the city today.”
“Yeah, I hear you,” I mumbled as she left my room quietly, like she did every night. Some nights I would sleep in her room, but after Gyan walked in her room in the middle of the night, she came to my room instead.
Golden was scared and hesitant to move quick, where I was ready to move like yesterday. I had to respect her wishes because she had a son to think about. At the end of the day, what she chose to do had to involve her son, and I respected it. As I laid back down, I stared up at the ceiling and thought about how that fat ass looked when I hit it from the back. The way she moaned my name and then sucked on my bottom lip when she was fucking the shit out of me. Lil’ mama was a fucking freak and she liked to play like she didn’t know how to fuck the soul out of a nigga. Golden wanted to keep shit quiet between us and I was going along with it. Knowing Pit Pat, she was going to figure shit out way before we decided to tell them. She didn’t miss anything and wouldn’t hesitate to tell us that she knew. The plus was that she actually liked Golden and Gyan.
Looking at my clock, it was five in the morning. After spending last night together, my ass wasn’t going back to sleep. Sitting up in the bed, I scrolled my missed messages and sighed when I saw Eva’s name with seven messages attached to it. I told her I needed time and it was true, I did. She was getting too fucking clingy and assuming shit that I told her would never be. The way she showed her ass when Golden let her in the crib, I knew I needed to step back from her. Grape’s number had stood out to me.
Yo, we coming through for some of Pit Pat’s breakfast in the morning. Fear is in town.
Word? Come through.
Me and my nigga, Fear went way back. That nigga and me broke so much bread together that we were both rich. If I would have known he was coming into town, I would have arranged for him to come stay with me at the crib. This nigga was the most loyal nigga I knew. Last we spoke, he was trying to find a wife and settle the fuck down. I told his ass he needed to move to New York and get him a chick. It wasn’t nothing like a woman from New York. Yeah, they gave headaches because they take shit, but in the end, you knew you had a real and trill ass woman.
Sayless. I checked my phone and then turned over, so I could get some sleep. When I heard Pit Pat’s slippers slide across the floors, I knew she was about to make breakfast for a damn army. Since my grandmother been back home, something had been on her mind. I couldn’t place my finger on it, but she was going through something and didn’t want to talk about it. Me and Yolani had been like two ships in the night and kept missing each other. It had been a minute since she came through and we had a talk. It was long due, and I made sure to make a mental note to speak to her about it later on today.
I slept for a good three hours before Grape called me and told me they were on their way. I showered and got ready for the day. After having lunch with them, I knew I had to check on a few things. Golden was still doing interviews at the tanning salon, so she would be busy with that for the day. As I came downstairs, Pit Pat was already talking and laughing with Gyan. Their morning routine consisted of corny knock knock jokes and other jokes they could find on the internet. I was about to join in on their corny morning jokes when the doorbell rang. I went to the door and Grape, and Fear was standing there.
“My niggaaaaa,” I dapped him and pulled him into a brotherly hug.
“Look at this place… nigga living large. Selling all those damn guns got you living like this? Shit, I may need to switch businesses,” he joked and dapped me back.
“I try, I try. Can’t live in the hood forever, right?”
“Not at all, but we can buy it up, flip it and make the hood better. Gotta give back to what r
aised us, feel me?”
“I hear you, I hear you,” I laughed and showed them into the kitchen. “Pit Pat, Grape and Fear is going to be joining us for breakfast.”
She had her back turned making the eggs. “It’s more than enough to go around. I know your friend got a damn name… I deal with Grape’s nickname, but Fear, I need a real name.”
“Grand!” I heard Golden’s voice from behind me.
Gyan turned around in his seat. “Dad?”
*TO BE CONTINUED*
Should Golden give Yoshon a chance? Was Golden wrong for lying to Yoshon about her past? Is Hazel wrong for playing with Denim’s feelings? Should Hazel give Yolani another chance because she’s trying to be better as a wife? Should Hazel get rid of her baby, or should she keep her baby?
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