Christmas with the Single Dad (The Single Dads of Seattle Book 5)

by Whitley Cox

  Once she knew they were alone in the kitchen, Aurora slowly turned around.

  His angry gaze sliced her face, made her knees buckle and her heart shatter. “So you have a boyfriend? Is he who’s been texting you all weekend? Your irritation spurred by his interruption into your little tryst.” His mouth turned up into a furious sneer. “Am I other man? What else have you been lying about?” he asked, his tone hard, his words clipped. “Are you even a lawyer? Or are you a legal secretary or a paralegal? Maybe just the janitor at Wallace, Dixon and Travers?”

  “I’m a lawyer,” she whispered, tears burning the back of her eyes, her throat aching as she fought back the emotions that struggled to ransack her. “I’m a first-year associate at Wallace, Dixon and Travers.”

  “You’re a first-year?” Zak asked, exasperation in his tone, his fingers threading their way into his hair as he spun on his heel and paced away from her. “A first-year! Man, it’s just one lie after the next with you, isn’t it?”

  “To be fair, I never lied about being a first-year. I just never corrected you when you assumed that I was a fourth-year.”

  A lie of omission is still a lie, counselor. You know that!

  But her words seemed to strike a chord with him, and he reared back, his eyes going wide.

  Yes, she had lied, but in the grand scheme of things, her lies had been small, and he was treating her as though she’d just told him she was the party planner for all of his ex-wife’s orgies and had convinced Loni to leave Zak.

  He regained his composure, and his eyes squeezed into thin slits. “Are you even from New Hampshire? Are your parents busy throwing Christmas parties? Or is there some big secret there too? You’re actually from Milwaukee and your parents are flying out tomorrow. Is your brother even dead?”

  She drew in a quick, pained breath. “Watch it, Zak. Yes, I lied but I’ve never been cruel. I never went out of my way to hurt you, to hurt any of you. But right now, you’re being cruel. You’re deliberately being mean and hurtful and I don’t deserve it.”

  His expression remained blank, but the slight jump in his jaw muscle said he wasn’t immune to her standing up for herself.

  Good. She was tired of being treated like a doormat by men. Pressley, Zak and all the boyfriends before them. She was tired of being dumped, tossed aside like yesterday’s trash.

  No more.

  She fixed him with the best eye contact she could, even though deep down it hurt her heart to look at him. “I’m from New Hampshire, yes. And, yes, my brother is dead. He killed himself last summer. My parents are struggling to stay in their house after my father’s heart attack and all of his medical bills. Any extra money I make goes to them. That’s why I can’t afford a new car. I do not have a boyfriend … anymore. He dumped me the day after our company Christmas party a few weeks ago. Right before my birthday, right before Christmas. Because they all dump me. He’s been texting because he wants to talk. He wants his stuff back … a jacket and couple of books or something. I’ve never cheated on anything or anyone in my life.”

  A tear dripped down her cheek, and she reached out to the edge of the island to keep herself standing. Emotions warred inside her. She needed to remain strong. Show him her strength and let him see that she was more than the white lies she’d told. But at the same time, she also wanted to crumple to her knees and beg him to give her another chance. A chance to explain her lies, to explain why she didn’t want him to know all her shortcomings, all her tragedies. That there was more to her than all her glaringly enormous flaws—though most days she struggled to see anything but those flaws when she looked in the mirror.

  Her past boyfriends saw those flaws though. Saw them all.

  She was always the dumpee. She’d only had four boyfriends in her life, but they’d all ended things with her. And Pressley was no different. Only, unlike the other three, Pressley had said being with Aurora reminded him of how much he missed his ex-girlfriend. So after attending Aurora’s law firm Christmas party with her as his date, inviting her back to his place to spend the night and sleeping with her, he dumped her the next morning. Kicked her out of his apartment and didn’t even offer to drive her home.

  She had to take the bus.

  Pressley went and proposed to his ex-girlfriend two days later. Their engagement announcement flooded her newsfeed because she stupidly forgot to unfriend him.

  She was embarrassed for how things had played out. Didn’t want anybody to know she’d been dumped—again. She didn’t need the reminder that being with her only reminded men of what they could have elsewhere. There was obviously something wrong with her if she kept getting dumped, if she couldn’t keep a man.

  He was a ways away from her in the kitchen now. She hated the gulf between them. Missed his warmth and the strength she drew from his presence. But she needed to find a way to draw strength without him, to draw on her own strength, no one else’s. Stand tall and strong alone and on her own two feet. It seemed impossible though.

  He rounded on her. “Let me get this straight. You lied about where you work, saying that you worked closer to the gym than you do. That’s lie one.” He began counting on his fingers. “You lied about what year associate you are. That’s two. You lied about who was messaging you all weekend, telling me it was work, when it was actually your boyfriend. That’s three.” He wiggled the two remaining fingers. “Am I missing any?” His blue eyes were wide, nostrils flaring, his talented mouth set in an angry, hateful scowl.

  She shook her head, determined to look him in the eye no matter how much it killed her. “No, I don’t think so.” Her bottom lip quivered. “I’m really sorry for the lies, Zak. I just wanted to forget about my shitty life for a couple days and have a nice Christmas with a man I’ve been attracted to for such a long time. I didn’t think I was hurting anybody with my omissions.” A small part of her wanted to roll her eyes at how angry he was about such piddly little lies. He was blowing this all out of proportion. And yet, her love for him and how furious he was with her made all that so confusing and all the more painful. The way he was looking at her was gut-wrenching.

  “Pfft.” He shook his head, glancing down at the floor. He obviously couldn’t stand to look at her any longer. “Omission? Is that what you lawyers call them? Well, I call them fucking lies.” His chin jutted forward. “I told you what I think of liars. Big or small, a lie is a lie. It’s a betrayal. Loni’s lies, your lies, they’re no different. A lie is disrespectful to the person you’re lying to. It says you don’t value them enough to tell them the truth. Is that how you feel about me? I wasn’t worthy of the truth?”

  She shook her head again, and she chomped down hard on the inside of her cheek. “That wasn’t it at all.” Her pulse began to thunder in her ears, and her breathing grew shallow, creating an awful, painful ache right where her heart had been, before he’d ripped it out just now, stomping on it with his hurtful words. “I think I should go. I’m going to call myself a cab and leave.” The ache inside her chest was near fatal as she dropped her head and stared at her feet, unable to look at the disappointment and anger on his face any longer.

  “I think that’s a good idea,” he said, not bothering to look at her. “The roads are clear. You shouldn’t have any problem getting a cab now.” His head jerked, which caused her to lift her eyes from the floor, regretting it instantly when he fixed her with one final glare, a glare that made everything inside her crumple and wither. It made the remaining fragments of her heart, of her soul disintegrate, leaving nothing but a vast hollow she knew could never be filled. Then, just to twist the knife in her gut one more time, he turned around and showed her his back, preferring to stare out the kitchen window into the empty darkness of the backyard than at her for another second.

  “Dad, no!” Tia burst into the kitchen, and she wrapped her arms around Aurora’s waist. “Aurora, you can’t leave.” She turned back to face Zak. “Dad, she didn’t mean it. Don’t let her leave. It’s Christmas!”

  Zak sti
ll hadn’t bothered to turn around, but she did notice his shoulders lift closer to his ears and his fingers clench white-knuckled fists at his sides.

  “Dad?” Aiden whispered, having followed his sister into the kitchen, coming to stand on the other side of Aurora. “She’s got nobody to go home to. This isn’t fair.”

  Aurora shook her head again and swallowed past the painful lump in her throat, blinked back the tears and willed the throb in her now empty, heartless chest to ebb. She rested a hand on Aiden’s shoulder. “It’s okay, kids. I’ll be okay. Thank you though.” She put her head down, pulled out of Tia’s embrace and turned to go, but she stopped herself and lifted her head to face him. “I’m sorry, Zak. I really am. I didn’t think my lies were hurting anybody, they were just protecting my pride, protecting my heart. But I understand how you feel about liars, and I’m sorry. A lie is a lie, no matter how big or how small. Thank you for welcoming me into your home.” Her eyes fell to the two teary-eyed children standing in the kitchen. “I’m sorry, guys. I’m sorry I ruined Christmas.” Then she headed upstairs and packed her bag, tears streaming down her face as she fought to keep herself standing and not buckle to the ground in a heap of sobs.

  She swung her bag over her shoulder and drew her phone out of her purse only to find Emmett standing on the threshold of Zak’s bedroom door. “I’ll drive you home,” he said, then he turned and headed down the stairs, leaving her standing there with a hole where her heart should be and more tears in her eyes.

  15

  Aurora stared blankly out the window of Emmett’s SUV as they made their way across town. The streets were fairly quiet and the roads plowed, the harsh orange glare from all the streetlights only intensified as it bounced off the big snow drifts.

  “Wanna talk?” Emmett asked, pulling up to a red light.

  Aurora’s gaze slid to his. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

  His lips twisted. “Because I was a dick to Tori when I first met her, and I feel really bad about that. I let issues from my divorce cloud my judgment about Mark’s relationship, and I projected shit.” His mouth crooked up into a half smile. “Or at least that’s what my therapist says. I’m trying to make amends with the universe. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. Tia and Aiden really like you. Zak really likes you. Liam really likes you. So I’m guessing you’re not the devil and in fact a pretty great person.”

  “I doubt Zak thinks so anymore,” she murmured, focusing on her gloved hands in her lap. “I lied to him. He hates liars.”

  “And rightfully so. I’m assuming he filled you in on Loni?”

  “Yes.”

  “You get where his anger is coming from, then?”

  “I do. And I knew not telling the truth was wrong … I’m a lawyer, for Christ’s sakes. It’s just … ”

  “Your pride?”

  She lifted her gaze to his. “Yeah. I’ve been through a lot these last couple years, and I just wanted a few days to forget about it all. To not be that person with all that baggage. I didn’t want him to look at me with pity in his eyes or as a charity case.”

  The light turned green, and he continued on. “What do you mean, with pity and as a charity case?”

  Aurora let out a long, slow exhale. Greenwood was at least another twenty minutes. They had time.

  “Well,” she started, “it all started a year and a half ago when I was summering at a legal clinic here in Seattle … ”

  Twenty minutes later, Emmett pulled up in front of her apartment building, his jaw slack, his eyes wide. He put the SUV in park and turned to face her. “I’m really sorry, Aurora. For all of it.”

  She clenched her jaw tight, desperate to wait until she got inside before she let more tears fall. “Yeah, well … you win some, you lose some, right?”

  He shook his head, his amber eyes showing signs of that thing she hated—pity. “No. You don’t deserve to lose anymore. You just deserve wins from here on out.”

  She choked out a half laugh, half sob. “From your mouth to the ears of the universe.”

  “And you didn’t think you could share this with Zak? Seems like he shared his pain and past with you.”

  She shook her head and glanced out the window at her little two-story cube-shaped apartment building. “I know he did, but I don’t work like that. I don’t just spill my guts to a complete stranger.”

  The snort though his nose caused her to glance his way. He lifted one dark, bushy eyebrow.

  She couldn’t stop the laugh that broke free. “Okay, well, I don’t normally spill my guts. I wanted him to see me for me. You know, the chick who’s been stalking him for the past six months.” She rolled her eyes.

  His grin was wide and genuine. “I wouldn’t go so far as to call you a stalker. Just an admirer. A fangirl. And I know Zak has quite the fan club.”

  She cringed. “I’m not sure that’s any better.”

  His light chuckle eased a bit of the tension that had been caught up in her shoulders. He turned off the ignition of the vehicle just enough to stop it from running, but not so much as the heated seats stopped warming her butt into melted butter. “If your relationship had progressed further, into weeks, months or more, would you have told him the truth?”

  She lifted one shoulder. “He’d have found out a lot on his own eventually, but yeah, probably. I hated lying to him. Even my lies of omission. I get serious stomach pains whenever I lie. I’ve never liked it. Never been good at it. But for some reason, they came out of me before I could stop them. I’m ashamed of how I treated my brother, of how I handled his death, letting it affect my last year of law school. I also hate that I can’t help my parents more, that they’re struggling and the insurance company is doing everything they can to deny my father coverage. I found them a lawyer in New Hampshire that was supposed to help them fight the insurance company, but he’s a joke. Has done nothing to help them.”

  His smile slid into more of a thin line. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Aurora. Nothing. You’re an incredible daughter, and you were the best sister you could be. Your brother wouldn’t blame you, and I don’t think your parents do either.”

  She knew he was trying to comfort her, but his words didn’t mean much at the moment. She was hurting too much. Her therapist—at Dina’s insistence—had said as much to her as well, but no matter what, she couldn’t stop blaming herself for Brecken’s death.

  “Zak’s marriage ended rough,” Emmett went on. “I empathize with him because so did mine. I understand where you are both coming from, him from a betrayal standpoint and you from a place of self-preservation and pride. Liam and I will try to talk some sense into him, help him see where you were coming from and that even though, yes, you did lie, they weren’t like Loni’s lies. Just because he spilled his guts to you doesn’t mean it’s quid pro quo.”

  She shook her head and put her hand on the door handle. “Thank you, but I don’t need you guys to fight my battles for me. I messed up, and I need to own my mistakes. Maybe in a few days once he cools off, he will be willing to talk to me.” She snorted and shook her head at her reckless behavior and how out of character she’d behaved these past few days. “I don’t even have his number.”

  “Easily fixable,” he said calmly. “I can give you that.”

  She shook her head again. “Maybe it’s for the best that I don’t have it. I don’t think we were meant to be.” She pulled on the door handle, the frosty air from outside hitting her cheek and tossing her hair against her face. “A Christmas fling was all we were ever meant to have. No more. I was deluding myself thinking I could have more with him, be enough for him. Guys always get bored with me, find a reason to end it.” She shrugged her tight shoulders. “It just is what it is. We’re from different worlds. It could never work.”

  “This isn’t West Side Story,” Emmett said dryly. “You’re not from different sides of the tracks. Stop romanticizing it, counselor, and admit that you’ve fallen for him, he’s fallen for you and you want to be w
ith him.”

  “Now who’s romanticizing things?” she said, her fingers tightening around the door handle.

  He shook his head, his dark amber eyes holding what she could only discern as a warning. “I’m not romanticizing, I’m stating fact. Liam and I will talk to him. Just hold tight, Aurora, and in the meantime, take care and call your parents.” He turned the key in the ignition again and the engine roared to life. She took that as her cue to get out.

  “Thank you for the ride, Emmett. I really appreciate it.” Blowing out a breath, she dropped her gaze to the seat where she’d just been sitting. “Lord knows I couldn’t have afforded the cab.”

  He smiled. “My pleasure, Rory. I’m sorry for how things played out, but take heart that it’ll all work out.”

  She tried to smile, but her mouth just wouldn’t work that way. The weight in her chest held too strong a pull to let any joy break through.

  “Merry Christmas, Aurora, and Happy New Year. I promise next year will be better.”

  A sarcastic laugh burst forth from her lungs through her nose. “Can’t get any worse than this year, can it?”

  His smile was grim. “Good night.”

  “Good night, Emmett.” Then she shut the door and headed toward her lobby, her tears once again falling freely as she thought of the warm welcome her dead cactus would give her when she turned the key and stepped inside.

  It was Saturday night once again, and the guys were back at poker.

  Aurora’s car hadn’t moved from the gym parking lot all week. Probably because she couldn’t afford a tow truck—or to get it fixed. How was she getting to work? The bus?

  “How was everyone’s Christmas?” Mason asked, settling down into his seat with his beer.

  Smiles and nods drifted around the table. Along with a few grumbles.

  Zak could feel Liam and Emmett’s eyes on him.