Dead to Me

by Lesley Pearse

  ‘I remembered stuff you’d told me when we first met, and so I just did it. Only the one house, I didn’t take much, just a silver jug, and I found some cash in a box. That paid for the bathroom to be put in.’ She paused then, because the waitress was coming with their tea.

  ‘I didn’t feel bad about it, Ruby, at least not then,’ she said once the waitress was out of earshot. ‘I kind of justified it to myself. I told Miller it was some money Aunt Hazel had left, and we did the tiling in the bathroom ourselves. Later that summer, when it was obvious war was going to come any time, and Miller got sent to Scotland, Cooks of St Paul’s – where I was working – moved out of London. So I applied to the Post Office and got myself trained up to fix telephone cables. I still work there.’

  ‘So you did this burglary before the war. Never again?’

  ‘That’s right. I came to be really ashamed of doing it. Then Amy became my lodger. I worked with her at the Post Office.’

  ‘The buxom brunette girl I saw you with?’

  Verity looked askance at her. ‘You saw me again? And didn’t speak.’

  ‘That was the first time I called. I waited in the cafe on the main road and you got off the bus with Amy. Maybe if you’d been alone I’d have been brave enough to speak. Then the second time was when I saw Archie pulling you into the station. How could I approach you then?’

  ‘It’s a good job you didn’t.’ Verity shook her head, as if bewildered by the evil he was capable of. ‘You see, he turned up when Amy was there and he’d obviously fallen on hard times, so I let him sleep in Amy’s bed and she came in with me. Then one day she just left, both my house and her job, with not a word of farewell, nothing. Archie said she was afraid of me.’

  Ruby snorted with laughter. ‘Afraid of you? Who could be afraid of you?’

  ‘That’s what I thought. But he said I’d changed because of Mother and Aunt Hazel dying, and also he maintained that Amy was intimidated by me because I was clever, reading and knowing about world news and stuff. I suppose I felt a bit flattered, really, it stopped me thinking he’d got rid of her for his own ends.’

  ‘So just to interrupt, have you heard from or seen Miller since he went to Scotland? That’s a strange name, by the way. What was he like?’

  ‘He was kind, funny, easy-going. And he made my garden so pretty,’ Verity said, and her eyes filled with tears. ‘He wrote to me every week. He didn’t actually say he was in love with me, but there was a kind of understanding that we had something special. I hear women say all the time how the war altered everything, and that’s just how it was. I couldn’t rush off to Scotland to be with him, and he couldn’t come down here, either. Then Archie turned up and Amy went. The Blitz started, and suddenly I get a letter from Miller saying he’s sorry but he’s met someone, and it wouldn’t be fair to her to keep writing to me.’

  ‘Oh no!’ Ruby exclaimed.

  Their fried spam sandwiches arrived, and for a few moments neither girl spoke while they took their first bites.

  ‘This is seriously good,’ Ruby said with her mouth full. ‘I shall have to train Wilby to make it like this. Though she’ll probably say so much fat isn’t good for you. But to get back to Miller, at least he told you the truth, so few men do that.’

  ‘I know,’ Verity agreed. ‘I just wish we could’ve had a bit more time together before he wrote me off. I really thought he could be “the one”.’

  ‘Look how many times I thought I’d found “the one”,’ Ruby smirked. ‘But we’ve got sidetracked. Now let’s get back to Archie. Did he go to prison? Or is he still on the run?’

  ‘I don’t know anything about him, at least I don’t know the truth. When he turned up, I told him to go or I’d call the police and turn him in. But he said they weren’t looking for him any more, because he’d sorted it all out with them. He implied he’d paid back the money he took.’

  Ruby raised both eyebrows.

  ‘I know,’ Verity sighed. ‘Only a fool would believe that. But if he is still a wanted man, he doesn’t hide himself away. Okay, he told the neighbours he’s my uncle, Gerald Wood, but the police have never been back to ask if I’ve seen him. Maybe he did wriggle out of it. Anyway, to get back to the point, one day I got a bit tough with him, because I needed a lodger who paid their way, and that’s when he blackmailed me. Seems he got into conversation with the jeweller I sold Mum’s stuff to, because he still had the silver pheasant that came from Archie’s family in his shop window. The jeweller described me, and told Archie I’d also brought in a silver cream jug which sounded like it was taken from a house in Blackheath.’ Verity paused, hanging her head in shame. ‘I don’t need to go into all of that, but the gist of it is that Archie realized what I’d done and saw he could use it to make me do anything he wanted.’

  ‘Just a minute. Does the jeweller know who you are or where you live?’

  ‘No. If he did, the police would have been round by now. I expect he thinks I came to him from miles away.’

  Ruby just sat back in her chair for a moment looking at Verity, then she shook her head in dismay.

  ‘It was a bit daft selling the stuff from the house you robbed more or less on their doorstep!’ she said. ‘I should’ve given you my expert advice on how to burgle efficiently!’

  Verity knew that was supposed to be a joke, but she couldn’t laugh. Instead she looked rueful. ‘I know it was daft, I should’ve thought it through. But in my defence at least that proves I’m not a habitual criminal.’

  ‘So is Archie making you rob more houses?’

  Verity nodded. ‘He hand picks the right ones. I get him the addresses of people who’ve cancelled their telephone connection. He checks the houses out. But I’m the one who goes in, while he stays outside and keeps watch. It isn’t every week – he staggers the jobs, and in different areas – but I’m a bag of nerves with it.’

  She couldn’t even begin to tell Ruby how terrifying she found it. She couldn’t eat or sleep for days before, and she never really trusted Archie to warn her if someone was coming. He was far more likely to run for it. It was so wrong to be going through people’s things looking for valuables and cash, but she knew if she came out with nothing he’d only make her do another house on her next day off.

  The nightmare didn’t end with the completed job, either. When she closed her eyes at night she imagined being caught red-handed, handcuffed and taken to the police station cells. She had terrible pictures in her head about what prison was like, and she felt so sorry for the people she robbed. Archie said it served them right for leaving their homes, but she didn’t agree with that. Then Archie often hit her for not getting enough valuables, and it wasn’t as if she benefitted from any of it; he took the goods to fence them, and spent the money on gambling and drinking.

  ‘The absolute bastard,’ Ruby hissed, sounding much as she did when Verity first met her. ‘He needs stringing up. Look, Verity, come home with me now. Don’t go back there. I can fix you up with clothes and things.’

  For a brief moment Verity felt her nightmare was finally over. Nothing could be better than being back in Babbacombe and free of Archie. But she’d barely begun to imagine sharing that lovely bedroom with Ruby again before reality set in.

  ‘I can’t come,’ she said sadly. ‘There’s my ration book, my job, all those little bits and pieces that I need.’

  ‘They aren’t important,’ Ruby said. ‘Well, I suppose your ration book might be, you don’t want to leave a trail he can follow down to Babbacombe. So okay, not today, but soon. You can give in your notice at work; tell them you are going to Scotland to see Miller. Gradually sort out the stuff you need to bring, maybe pack it in a case or bag when he’s out and put it in a left luggage office. There’s one at Charing Cross Station. Then act like you are off to work one day and just get on the train and come to me. I can get you a job at the Palace, where I work. It was a hotel, but now it’s a hospital for wounded RAF officers.’

  ‘If he gets wind of anything,
there’s no knowing what he’ll do to me,’ Verity said fearfully. ‘And what if he goes to the police and tells them about the robberies?’

  ‘If he does, he will only incriminate himself,’ Ruby said. ‘Does he know anything about me? Like where I live, or that you used to come down and stay with me?’

  ‘I don’t think so. I’ve never talked about you to anyone, because I felt so sad about it. But he’s a snoop, Ruby. Once he’d found out I’d taken silver to sell at that jeweller’s he searched the house and found the receipt for getting the bathroom put in. He could’ve found a letter from you. I thought I destroyed them all when we fell out, but I can’t be sure. But Ruby, what about Wilby? How can I face her? She’ll be so shocked, if she finds out about any of this.’

  ‘She’s the least of your worries,’ Ruby said. ‘I’ve never seen her fazed by anything, and she’s fond of you, always begging me to write and apologize to you. If the worst came to the worst and you did get found out, she’d fight your corner. As I would too. Leave that vile man, start a new life.’

  ‘But it’s Aunt Hazel’s house and once I’m twenty-one, if her solicitor hasn’t found a closer relative, it will be mine.’

  Ruby sat back in her chair and just looked at Verity.

  ‘A bomb could drop on it tonight,’ she said after a bit. ‘It’s bricks and mortar, that’s all. Your life, safety and happiness are worth far more. Walk away; leave all the sadness you’ve had while living there behind you. You and I together can make new, happy memories and a good life.’

  Verity thought that sounded so wonderful. But she’d been under Archie’s thumb for so long, she didn’t really believe she could get out from under it. Ruby would never understand just how devious and manipulative Archie was. He could disappear again and inform the police anonymously about her doing the burglaries. It would be an open and shut case. She had access to the addresses from the Post Office, and all the houses were entered through small windows, too small for an average-sized man. Even the neatness of the jobs suggested it was the work of a woman.

  If she tried to tell them Archie Wood forced her to do it, they’d ask why she didn’t call the police. Somehow, she didn’t think being afraid of him was likely to stand up as a good reason.

  ‘Oh, Ruby, you make it sound so tempting. I’ll think it over. But I haven’t asked you anything! Is there a boyfriend? What adventures have you had?’

  ‘No adventures. I’ve just worked and turned myself into Miss Boring of Babbacombe. But if you come back, maybe I can change that.’

  The girls chatted on, having several more cups of tea and a slice of apple pie each. Once started, there was so much to say, on both sides. But finally Ruby glanced at her watch and reluctantly said she must go and catch her train.

  Once outside the cafe, they embraced, and for Verity it was hard not to burst into tears, as she knew planning her escape and going through with it was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done. If Archie suspected anything, he would make her pay. She’d had so many beatings from him, been burned with cigarettes, he’d even held her head down in a bath full of water, nearly drowning her.

  ‘If you write anything down – like my phone number, or address – change one of the numbers or the words, so he’ll never know the right one,’ Ruby insisted. ‘Get everything sorted slowly and calmly, don’t strip everything out of drawers and wardrobes. That way he won’t suspect. On the day you leave for good, make it look like you are just going to work. But if in a month’s time you aren’t down in Babbacombe with me, I’m coming back for you. And I’ll bring some muscle with me to teach him a lesson.’

  ‘Could you really do that?’ Verity asked.

  ‘For you I can do anything,’ Ruby said with a smile. ‘But I’m serious. You must get out of that house, as quickly as possible. I hate the thought of you having to go back there now.’

  Verity hated the thought too. She’d spared Ruby the details about the injuries he’d given her. He’d broken her wrist, ribs, dislocated her shoulder, and there was barely an inch of her body he hadn’t punched. But he was always careful to avoid her face – once he even pointed that out to her, as if she should be grateful for it.

  If he got wind that she hadn’t gone into work today – and, even worse, had met an old friend – she would be punished. Last week she accidentally burned one of his shirts while ironing it, which resulted in him taking away all her bedclothes. It was below freezing and she could only huddle under her coat, unable to sleep because she was so cold. But burning a shirt was a minor misdemeanour to him. Planning to run out on him would warrant life-threatening injuries.

  Verity put on a brave smile, promised Ruby she’d be with her soon, and wished her a safe and quick journey home. Train journeys were a trial of endurance now in wartime, stopping and starting all the time, with no heating in the carriages. And with the windows covered over with blackout material, you couldn’t see out, either.

  ‘I hope the journey home isn’t too bad,’ she said.

  Ruby laughed. ‘I’ll close my eyes and dream of the summer and us going swimming, and going to dances together. That will keep me warm.’

  Verity stayed until Ruby had gone into the station and then reluctantly turned towards home. She doubted Archie would have gone out; he stayed in most days and then went out at night, all dressed up in his best suit and often a bow tie. He played cards. Where, he never said, but when he had a big win, sometimes he would come back the next morning in a good mood. Once or twice he’d even bought her flowers, but she knew now that was more for the benefit of nosy neighbours, who would then think he was her doting uncle.

  She had to assume gambling was how he’d made a living ever since he ran away from Daleham Gardens. She seemed to remember her mother making remarks about him throwing money away before that too. Verity often wondered why her mother had never revealed anything really bad about her husband, even after the embezzlement business. But perhaps he kept her quiet by violence and cruelty too.

  While it was possible that it was going on the run and mixing with other crooks and villains that had made him so evil, Verity was sure now he had been born that way. He could be very charming when he chose; her mother must have fallen for this side of him, and when she found out about his other side, she put up with it because of the lovely house and the money. That could explain why she had always seemed so jittery and distant.

  Verity felt jittery as she walked home. She knew in her heart that Ruby was right and she must leave as quickly as possible, but Archie always seemed to sense when she was lying or hiding something, and if he couldn’t get it out of her by trickery he used his fists. She would need to be very strong for as long as it took to arrange her departure.

  ‘They didn’t need you for a full shift, then?’ he called out from the kitchen as she hung her coat up in the hall. He was sitting in the easy chair by the fire, his feet up on a stool, wearing a shabby, dark red dressing gown over his underwear.

  This was something which made her hackles rise, a man sitting around all day not dressed properly, she felt it was indecent. He hadn’t done it back when Amy was here, and she was fairly certain he only did it now to try and rile her.

  ‘No, someone had made a mistake on the shift rota. It got straightened out when the right girls came in later than expected. I wasn’t needed any more.’

  He got out of his seat just as she was about to go upstairs and change.

  ‘Since when do you wear a dress and high heels to climb telegraph poles?’ he said, standing in the kitchen doorway, looking at her.

  She had been wearing slacks to work for the last couple of years, because it was mostly maintenance and repair work. The only time she wore a dress or skirt was when she was going to be working inside.

  ‘I only had to stand in on the switchboard,’ she said, as casually as possible, her heart fluttering with fear that he suspected something.

  ‘You’re lying,’ he said in a low, even voice. ‘You haven’t been to work at
all. I know, because I rang the Post Office.’

  She was certain he hadn’t, because he’d have got dressed to go to the phone box.

  ‘Whoever answered your call probably just looked at the rota and saw it was my day off,’ she said. ‘There’s an awful lot of girls there, and in different rooms. Some of the newer ones don’t even know me, as I work outside mostly.’

  ‘Liar!’ he said and swiftly moved forward to punch her in the stomach. ‘Now tell me who called here earlier and where you met up with them. Was it that Miller bloke?’

  His punch had winded her, and she remained bending over holding her stomach.

  ‘No, of course not, you know he ended it with me. It was just Beryl, like I told you.’

  From her bent-over position she lifted her head to look at him. His face was darkening, the way it always did when he was in a violent rage, and he was clenching his fists.

  ‘Archie, please! Don’t be like this,’ she pleaded.

  ‘Like what?’ he snarled as he kicked her side, knocking her over on to the floor. ‘You think you can lie to me and I’ll do nothing about it?’

  Even though he was wearing long underwear under the dressing gown, she noticed as he kicked her again that he was wearing proper shoes. What sort of man would put them on purposely before she got home, just to kick the life out of her?

  He kicked her twice more, then dragged her up to her knees.

  ‘Now for the thing you hate most,’ he said, grinning at the pain she was in. ‘You, my dear, are going to suck my cock.’

  She gagged involuntarily as he released it from his long pants. It was already hard, as if beating her excited him. It wasn’t as big as she remembered from the previous time, but as he brought it close to her mouth it smelled of mouldy cheese.

  It was no good trying to move back to escape him, as he had moved his hand from her shoulder to the back of her head, and holding her hair he forced her head forward so she had no choice but to obey him.