by Anna Edwards
I gather my books up and stand, ready to move on to physical education. Several of the other students do the same.
“Before you all go,” Miss Bell stops us all in our tracks, and I slump back down into my chair. “There’s no point in you coming to the classroom tomorrow. I’ll give you your partnerships and what spells you need to learn, now. Let me see, where did I put my list? Oh, here it is.” She finds it amongst a great big pile of papers and starts to read out the pairings and the spells they need to research.
“Jacobi Ashdown, you’ll be working on levitation and transposition with Juniper Ambrose,” Miss Bell pauses, possibly remembering Juniper giving me the finger earlier. My heart sinks. I can’t work with Juniper. I hate her but the spells we’ve been given are two of my favourites, so I don’t want to argue against the partnership. Some of the other couples have pretty dismal things to study. “Is there going to be a problem with that?” Miss Bell looks directly at us both. I shake my head to signify I’ve no concerns.
“Is it possible to swap, Miss Bell,” Juniper tentatively asks. “I love the spells, but I’d rather work with someone different-”
“I’m not losing those spells,” I interrupt, making it clear what I’ll be doing.
She can work with someone else; in fact, that would be for the best, but I’m not going to change the spells I’m doing.
Miss Bell looks down her list. “Emmie could swap with you? She’ll be good at levitation and transposition. Let me just check what spells she has…” Miss Bell scans farther down the list. “Dissection and… oh… spider projection.”
Juniper slumps down in her chair. Those are two of the worst spells, boring and mundane in the extreme. I snort a laugh out of my nose but instantly silence it when Miss Bell looks at me. I bow my head but say nothing to indicate an apology.
“Keep your spells. They’re the best ones. I’m sure he can’t be that much of a dick to work with.” I hear Emmie whisper quietly to Juniper.
Emmie’s not the best at spells so she would be a hindrance to me. I’m not sure which one’s the lesser of the two evils: the person I hate, or someone who’s useless.
“I wouldn’t count on that,” Juniper huffs before addressing Miss Bell, who’s standing expectantly at the front of the classroom. “It’s okay. I’ll stay in the partnership you gave me.”
Miss Bell’s expression breaks into a triumphant smile, and I wonder if she’s planned this since she saw Juniper flip me off. I might have underestimated this teacher. She’ll be on my watch list from now on.
“Good. Excellent news. You all have your assignments. I’ll see you the day after next.”
The bell rings, and we all start to file out of the room. I grab Juniper by the arm and hiss at her, “I won’t fail this project because of you. Be at my room at ten am tomorrow and be prepared to work.”
I storm off to my next lesson and spend the entire hour running my frustrations away around the track.
Ten am rolls around, and I glance at the clock, determined not to do anything, not move, not worry about the schoolwork I’m missing, and definitely not follow his damn orders. The sooner Jacobi Ashdown realises I’m not one of his stupid minions the better. He wants me gone, which only makes me more determined to stay.
Do I want to be here? I don’t know anymore. I’ve been desperate to leave the academy ever since I returned because of my mum’s condition, and her worsening health was the reason I left in the first place. But now she’s been miraculously cured by this ‘Guardian’, or whoever she believes it was, so the purpose of me wanting to leave is now redundant. And then there’s Emmie. I love having her back in my life. The combination makes me feel…free. Even though there’s still the issue of Jacobi.
Ugh, I groan internally, glancing at the clock again. Ten o’five. I feel wrong being here when I know I’m expected somewhere else. I stride the length of my room and back again; I follow the same pattern a few more times. Ten o’eight.
“Ahh!” I screech, and unable to stop myself, I grab my backpack and storm out of my building.
When I arrive at Jacobi’s place I’m sweaty and irritated. I ran, something I hate doing, and I’m still thirty minutes late.
The house brings back unwanted memories of a time when we were actually friends. A time when I thought there might be a chance at more with him. It’s a cottage situated within a large plot of land. It feels like the countryside, but we’re still in London. The house sits separate but still close enough to other houses to make it part of the community. His mum wanted to remain close to non-magic folk. I touch my lips as a smile forms when I remember snippets of our past, but then I shake my head to push them away. I heard his parents moved to the country about six months ago and left the house to Jacobi. They probably wanted to get away from him too.
I hold my hand up, knuckles ready, to knock on the bright red door, but Jacobi swings it open before I can make a sound.
“Finally arrived, I see. You know I hate it when people can’t be on time for things,” he states, opening his door wider for me to enter.
“I’ll make a mental note of that,” I snap.
“Write it down in your notebook, and that way you might actually remember.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “God, I can’t believe I got stuck with you.”
“I know. Sucks to be you,” I say smiling up at him.
He stares at me, something soft moving through his eyes before he shakes his head. “The smart-arse vibe doesn’t work for you. Stop it,” he commands.
I sigh. “Where do you want me?” I ask moving into an open plan living area.
“Preferably not anywhere near me and definitely not at my school, but it seems luck is not on my side, and I’m stuck with you. For now.”
“Looks like this is going to be fun,” I reply sarcastically.
“I never promised fun, Juni.”
I decide to ignore him. He nods towards a round table with four chairs in the corner of the room. I wander over and drop my bag onto one of the seats.
“I hate having to work with you-“ he starts, but I quickly interrupt him.
“Why do you hate me, Jacobi? Seriously, what did I do to you?” I can’t help my words or the sharpness behind them.
So many people in the school are afraid of him. None of the students will argue back or call him out the way I do, but I don’t care. Having faced my father, there’s no one else to fear. I’m angry that we were once friends, I’m angry that I don’t know what I did, and I’m angry that he kissed me…more than once.
“This was a bad idea,” he says, standing and shaking his arms out like a runner preparing for a sprint.
I shake my head at my own thoughts. Heaven knows why I assumed I could just ask him straight out, and he’d tell me. I should have known he was as bad as the fake people he hangs around with.
“Forget it. Let’s just get this assignment done, and hopefully, we’ll not have to work together again,” I mutter, defeated.
He sinks back into his chair. “That’s acceptable.” He nods. “A truce, only for this assignment, but at school, all bets are off.”
I wave my hand dismissively, and he looks at it, confused, as though he can’t quite work out what I’m doing and why I’m not flustered by him.
I snort out a laugh. “Let’s start with transposition and leave levitation until next time.”
He shrugs as if it’s all the same to him. Lounging with one arm hanging over the back of his chair, he brings up his other arm, holds out his hand and flicks his wrist while whispering something under his breath. My notebook, which was spilling out of my bag, disappears and is replaced by a spell book. I frown until he picks up my notebook from the chair next to him and chucks it back to me.
“Guess you don’t need this,” I state, returning the spell book to him.
He doesn’t answer. His magic is strong. Most of our classmates would’ve had to use an incantation and concentrate really hard to cast that transposition spell. The fact that
he can flick his wrist and breathe only a single word demonstrates why he’s in the position he is at school.
I’m tempted to show him what I’m really capable of, but I’m not ready for anyone else to know, because that would mean my father would find out.
“Equitable transaction,” I announce, loudly.
My hands hover over the table, and I move them so they cross over one another at the wrist. The books swap again, and Jacobi looks vaguely impressed.
“It seems we don’t need much practice. What else did Miss Bell want us to do other than learn the two spells?”
I shrug. “She didn’t mention anything else.”
“So this farce can be done with.” It’s a statement, but as I rise from my chair, he adds, “Until next time.”
Grabbing my things, I start walking away, but I have to ask him something before I leave. Spinning around, I squeak out my surprise when I find him standing right behind me. We’re so close, too close. My breathing speeds up, and I fist my hands annoyed with myself. Being so near him, Jacobi can see my reaction, but strangely, he says nothing. He just stares into my eyes like he’s captivated by something, and I can’t tear my gaze away from him. A muscle in his cheek moves as his jaw works, then slowly he steps back and the spell is broken.
“I wanted to make sure you actually left.” His voice is gruff.
“You can see your front door from there.” I whisper, looking back over at the table.
“Stay away from Lucas.” The conversation has taken an odd turn and confusion must be clear on my face because he continues, “He thinks he likes you, but he doesn’t know you, not like I-”
“What? He doesn’t know me like you do?” I hiss, leaning towards him. “You don’t know me. You used to know me,” I grind out. “But, Jacobi,” I say, spitting out his name, “I’m nothing like the girl you used to know, and if I want to be friends or anything else with Lucas, I damn well will be.”
I make to turn, but he grabs my arm and pulls me closer. Our lips don’t touch, but our breathing combines, and we’re both panting as though we’ve just run a marathon. Our gazes locked, his fingers spasm on my arm, and for a second, I think he’s going to kiss me again, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
A sudden bang on the door jolts us both, and Jacobi forcefully pushes me away as the door opens without him inviting the person in. I stare as Taya waltzes into the house.
“What the hell is she doing here?” Taya complains, her hand perched on her hip.
“She was just leaving, baby,” Jacobi answers, looking at me like I’m dirt.
“Oh good, time for us to have some fun,” she giggles, and her voice goes right through me.
I don’t understand what happened between us. I truly believed Jacobi had feelings for me when we were younger. It’s amazing how drastically things have changed.
Flinging the door open, I storm out, not waiting to listen to anything else he has to say. Done with his demands, done with his orders, done with his kisses, done with him.
I’m not listening to a word Taya is saying. She could be telling me we’re all about to die, but all I can see is Juniper walking away from me again. I hate this. I want her gone, but equally, I want her in my life. It’s like I’m two people, and they are warring against each other for superiority. I can’t continue this way. It’s going to send me insane. I’m already afraid of who I really am. Am I a murderer or a life giver? Why don’t they tell me? I still feel each of her kisses on my lips, burning their mark. Why Juniper? Why is she the key?
“Go home, Taya,” I order and she stops in the middle of whatever story she’s telling and looks at me indignantly.
“What? I thought we were going to have some fun?” She places her hands on her curvy hips and gives me the raised eyebrow treatment.
“I’m not in the mood,” I sigh, dropping my head into my hands.
“Did that bitch do something to you?” Taya snakes herself around my body, and I freeze. “Come on, let me help you unwind.” She presses her lips to mine, and I go cold. I feel nothing, not like the burning when I touch Juniper.
Standing bolt upright, I unhook Taya from me and lightly push her away. “I said go home.”
She huffs out a deep breath and turns on her heels, clip clopping across the room to the door. “You used to be so much fun to be with, Jacobi, but since that bitch has returned, you’ve been obsessed with her. If I were you, I’d get your priorities straight. We’re the king and queen of this school. We rule it, and if you don’t get your head out of your arse and stop whatever obsession you have with little Miss Perfect, then you’re going to lose that position. I won’t, though. I’ll be queen until the end of school, just with a different king.”
Without looking back, Taya leaves the house with a dismissive wave over her shoulder. I should go after her and grovel, but I don’t. I sit back down in my lounge and stare at the spell book Juniper and I were transposing. I flick my wrist, and the book levitates into the air. These spells are so easy. Why did I even ask her to come here?
I let the book fall to the floor with a thud.
The house is silent, too big for just me, but my mother prefers the countryside these days. Anything to be away from her son. She’s never been maternal. Even when I was young, it was the nanny who looked after me more often than not. I didn’t just have one, though. My mother wasn’t stupid; no, as soon as I became close to one, she’d fire them, and I’d have to start the whole process again with a new nanny. I had to dote on my mother and no one else, even if she barely came near me. And don’t even get me started on my father. He was never at home. His job as a lead advisor on King Ambrose’s council kept him away all the time and still does. I think Christmas is the only time we’re ever together as a family, and then all of us, including me, spend it drunk so we don’t have to interact. We’re a dysfunctional family in the extreme, but I have this cottage. It’s all I need, even if the silence is deafening sometimes.
“Argh,” I scream into the air just to make some noise, even the ghosts have fallen silent recently. “Argh.” I do it again.
“What the hell is happening to me?” I ask on my third shout, flicking my wrists quickly in all different directions.
Books jump from where they’re stored in bookcases on the wall and float high before dropping to the floor in a hail of thuds which sound like hailstones. I welcome the noise with a mischievous chuckle. No one else lives here, so I’ll have to tidy it up later, but I’m not thinking that far ahead. I’m enjoying myself and letting go.
When all the books are off the shelves, I walk carefully between them, looking down at all the titles. So many different spells and theories on the magical world are written in these volumes. They’ve been collected by my family for generations. I can’t help but wonder if any of my ancestors have ever treated these books so roughly as I have today.
I find a gap in the middle of them, and sitting down, my legs crossed over each other, I pick the books up in front of me, one by one. I read each title out loud, then place it back on the shelf in a completely different order to the arrangement before. It’s now in an order I understand, alphabetically by title, rather than by author, which my father decided he liked a few years ago and rearranged all the books accordingly. If they were fiction books, it would be better to file them by author, but these are non-fiction and by title makes more sense to me. Jesus, I am losing it. I’m sitting in the middle of my lounge, reordering spell books when I could be having fun with Taya. I’m a loser, not a king, but at this precise moment, I don’t care. I flick my wrist quicker, and the books flash in front of my eyes, but I halt all movement when I notice a book I’ve never noticed before.
‘Guardian Angels or Death Reapers’
I bring the book closer to me and drop it into my lap. Using my magic, I start to flick through the pages, skim reading what’s written. It perfectly describes what happens to me. I slam the book shut, not wanting to read any more. I don’t want to know if I collect soul
s or heal them.
The woman’s face slams into my mind. I leave the book in my lap but reach up to tug on the ends of my hair. I pull harder and harder, my scalp burning and tendrils coming out in my hands.
“Get out of my head,” I scream. “Go away.”
Her eyes flash with fear in the knowledge she’s dying, and I’m there to take her away to heaven.
“No,” I cry out louder. “Get out.”
I can’t do this anymore. A part of me has been dying since the first time I kissed Juniper. I hate her, but I want her. She started this, and whether she wants to or not, she’s going to help me put an end to it.
Grabbing the book about angels or reapers, I stride purposefully through the cottage. I grab my car keys from by the front door and storm out to the car. With tyres spinning and gravel kicking up behind me, I speed off to the academy to find the woman who started all this.
My driving is crazy…I’m crazy…it explains everything. The book rests on the seat next to me, and every now and then, I look down at it while dodging through traffic. After what seems like an eternity, Caspian Academy looms large in front of me, and when I see Juniper’s friend Emmie, I slam my car to a halt. I retrieve the book from the front seat and hold it close to my chest as I make my way across the car park to her, and grabbing her by the shoulder, I swing her around to face me.
“Where is Juniper?” I snarl.
“Go to hell, Jacobi. Even if I knew where she was, I wouldn’t tell you. You’re nothing but a bully. Leave her alone and go play with your harem of cling-ons.”
“Where is she?” I repeat again through gritted teeth. I ignore everything she’s just insulted me with.
“Idiot.” She pushes me hard and the book falls to the floor. I pick it up quickly and cradle it like a newborn baby to my torso. My face must be full of fury because Emmie’s eyes open wide and she steps back. “Leave me alone, Jacobi,” she shouts and runs into the building before I have a chance to confront her further.
“Damn it,” I curse, trying to calm my mind which is currently falling apart.
