by Anna Edwards
She nods and purses her lips. “Yeah, I saw him.” She folds her arms. “He saved you,” she whisper hisses, looking around as though someone may appear any minute and drag her away for knowing such a big secret.
“How…” I can’t speak. My throat is dry and scratchy.
“I walked into your hospital room, and he was saving you. I mean, at first I thought he was trying to kill you. You know, finishing Taya’s handy work,” she growls. “But then his hand was here,” she says, placing her palm against her own heart, “and he was giving you something, like a magic elixir.” She shrugs. “Anyway, I asked him what he was doing. He told me he was saving you, and then he left, but Juni…he was…he was blue, and he had wings,” she whispers, like it’s a secret and someone might be listening.
I laugh. “I know, and yes, he did save me.” My laughter slips away, along with my smile when I remember he’s gone again.
I know he was there, and I know he saved me. There’s no question in my gut that he was the one. I even vaguely remember him being there in his beautiful angelic form, but I also know he left, and I don’t understand why.
He kissed me again. He must have done to initiate the change, and I’m sure he mumbled some words, but my mind can’t quite access that information. It’s like the whole episode is blurry and muffled.
“What the hell is he?” Emmie asks, her eyes wide as she lowers herself onto the sofa next to me.
“So, no movies?” I tease.
“Ugh!” she shouts, flapping her arms about.
I laugh again and steal myself, knowing I have to tell her. Jacobi allowed her to see him. I know he can make himself invisible, but he allowed her to see him, so I’m not going to lie to her.
I take a deep breath in then let it out in a rush. “Okay, he’s called a Guardian.”
“A Guardian,” she breathes out.
“He can save people or kill them,” I continue.
“Kill them?” Her eyes widen as she slams a hand over her mouth.
“I seem to be the catalyst.”
“The catalyst?” she repeats.
“Are you going to sit there all night copying me?” I huff out.
“Copying me,” she reiterates then breaks into a fit of laugher which is wholly inappropriate right now, but I can’t help laughing along with her before hitting her around the back of the head.
“This is serious.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” she retorts. “I thought he was an arse. Yet all this time, he’s been saving people.”
“Or killing them,” I remind her. It’s something I try to remember.
“So, he’s a good guy?” she questions quietly.
“I…I…” I shrug. “He is to me.”
Her mouth drops open. “You like him.” She points at me and jumps up on the sofa, bouncing around like an idiot.
Snorting out a chuckle, I let my head drop back onto the sofa and look up at her. “I’ve loved him since we were fifteen,” I finally admit to my best friend.
She jumps down and sits next to me. “No wonder you never got with Sebastian.”
I shrug. “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel the same way about me, though.”
“Who? Sebastian?” she asks, her eyebrows pulled in tight.
“No, Jacobi,” I reply, exasperated.
“Oh, yeah. He’s kind of busy being the king of the school with Taya… although, didn’t they break up?”
I shrug. “Who knows?” I look at Emmie seriously. “I bet nothing happens to her. You’ve all avoided talking about the fact she ran me over. That tells me all I need to know.”
Emmie looks down at her lap. “Her dad.” Her eyes meet mine again. “I guess he spoke to your dad.” She shrugs. Emmie, like most of us, has no idea how Taya can get away with the stuff she does.
“Great! I could have died, and she’ll be prancing the halls of Caspian tomorrow without a care in the world.”
Emmie doesn’t respond, because we both know it’s the truth.
“Come on, let’s watch some films and veg,” I encourage, and Emmie smiles sadly at me, a glisten of tears in her eyes.
“I’m just going to call James and let him know what’s going on, okay?” she murmurs.
“Sure, I’ll pop out to my balcony. I could use some sunshine and fresh air. I’ll give you a minute,” I tell her, shuffling outside.
Sitting in the sun, I turn my phone over and over in my hands, wishing there was a message, just something to tell me Jacobi was thinking of me.
I pull up the string of texts I sent him before I ended up in hospital and type out a new one.
Me – You saved me. Thank you.
I wait, like I always do, staring at my phone and pleading with all the magic in me he’ll reply. But he doesn’t. He never does. I put the phone face down, and staring out across the road, I wonder if anyone’s out there. If anyone cares about me.
“You ready for today?” Emmie asks as we walk into school.
I shrug. “Just another day,” I murmur back.
“You wanna head to the common room and grab some food?”she asks.
“You already ate breakfast at my place, and you’re hungry again?” I mutter. “Where do you put all your food?” I shake my head.
Emmie’s slim and can eat whatever she wants. I only have to look at a muffin and the weight piles on. My size fourteen jeans aren’t tight, and I have the boobs and butt to match, but as seventeen year old girls go, I’m not the norm of skinny or svelte.
“I’m still hungry,” she whines.
“Fine, come on.”
My gaze lands on Jacobi the moment we enter the common room. His eyes widen, and I stumble over my feet. I didn’t expect him to be here, not after going missing for a week and ignoring my texts. I especially didn’t expect to see him with Taya sitting in his lap.
I tear my eyes away immediately. It hurts, way, way more than it should. It’s not because I love him. He doesn’t know how I feel, and I know he doesn’t love me. But it kills me that he’s acting this way with her when he knows… he knows she tried to kill me. I will myself not to cry, biting down on my tongue until the copper taste of blood infuses my senses.
“Hey, look who’s crawled into school this morning,” Taya calls out across the room.
“Ignore her,” Emmie orders, looking over to the group of about eight people and giving them all dirty looks.
“What’s wrong?” Taya asks, standing up from Jacobi’s lap, and I can’t help my gaze shifting towards the two of them. “Worried that when your light is eventually snuffed out, no one will care?”
Jacobi grabs the back of Taya’s skirt and pulls her back into his lap.
“Aww, did you miss me, baby?” she coos, turning and kissing him.
His gaze is locked with mine as he takes her mouth and kisses her with everything he’s got.
“Come on.” I hear the words whispered near me as an arm goes around my neck and tugs me back towards the exit of the common room. It’s only when we get outside I realise it’s Sebastian.
“So, Jacobi Ashdown, that’s who you’re in love with?” he asks softly.
Emmie looks at me, clearly worried about my current emotional state while James frowns, looking from his friend to me.
“Yeah, stupid, stupid me, huh?” I reply as my heart is finally ripped from my chest.
To be honest, I’m wondering why Jacobi saved me. I’m wondering if it would have been better if he’d left me to die.
My nostrils flare as I watch Sebastian help Juniper from the common room. Taya sits on my lap, and I’m repulsed rather than excited. I want to wrap my hands around her neck and squeeze the life from her for what she did to Juniper. I can’t, though, no matter how much I want to. She’s too protected in this world with her family being so close to King Ambrose.
The bell sounds for lessons, and I push Taya from my lap. She turns around and glares at me,
“Just keep behaving, and everything will be all right,” she taunts me.
I don’t even honour her with a reply, I simply grab my bag and stomp across the common room towards the exit. Taya runs after me, obviously not finished with her little display announcing our relationship’s back on. She knows full well I despise her and am only doing this to keep Juniper safe. However, Taya is only concerned for her own ambitions, and having me as her boyfriend furthers her prominence in the school, so despite the fact I hate her guts, she’s happy to fall all over me like a loving girlfriend, just to prove a point.
She won. I lost.
“Were you really going to leave without escorting me to my lesson and giving me a goodbye kiss?” She pouts before turning to her friends. “He’s so conscientious when it comes to his lessons. It’s what will make him one of the most powerful wizards when we graduate. I tell you now, we’ll be running the council together before anyone knows it.”
She can go to hell if she thinks this will continue after school. I’d rather kill myself. As soon as I make sure Juniper is safe, then Taya won’t see me for dust.
For now, though, I’ll play my part and just scrub my body with sandpaper tonight to rid myself of her touch.
“I’m sorry, darling.” I pull her close to me and press a kiss to her lips, resisting the urge to bite down on her tongue when she shoves it in my mouth.
“Let’s go now,” I suggest, pulling away from her.
Taya smiles across at one of the hangers-on, who instantly gets to his feet and brings her bag over. He tries to hand it to her, but she looks up at me, and I take the bag from him instead, flinging it over my shoulder while not being overly careful about the contents inside. Taya threads her hand through mine, and we leave the common room, the picture of a loving couple. If only those around us knew the truth.
Taya, thankfully, has a different class to me for the first lesson, so I deposit her at her biology studies first. She makes a massive display of pushing her tongue into my throat once again. I try not to throw up, especially when I feel the heat of a specific pair of eyes I know in detail, watching us. They burn with hatred and sorrow.
I wish the lips attached to mine were Juniper’s, but it can never be. The world hates us and has conspired against us to make sure we can’t be together. The pain burns in my chest as I pull back from Taya and see the flash of grey hair retreating quickly down the corridor.
“See you later, handsome.” Taya licks my taste from her lips and makes her way into class with a seductive sway of her hips. I look away, more mesmerised by the flash of grey as it disappears. “I’ll wait here for you to meet me after class. I thought we could go and eat in the park behind the school. It’s been a while since we had any time alone,” she adds.
“Of course,” I smile at Taya like I’m a loving boyfriend before storming off to my class.
Maths isn’t my favourite subject, but it’s a necessity of course. Even though most of our lessons are magic based, we do have core subjects as well. We need to exist in the human world and not just the magical one. I stare at the board as the teacher writes a variety of equations on it. I could easily solve them if I concentrated, but I can’t be bothered. My head is already a muddle of emotions, and until I deal with them, nothing else is going to fit in.
I’m lucky, I suppose, I remember everything about saving Juniper’s life, including the emotion of it all and telling her I loved her. However, I don’t even know if she’s aware I was there. Emmie saw me and recognised me, so I hope she told her. Maybe that will somehow help to patch up the hurt she’s feeling at me being back with Taya. I want to tell her everything, but I can’t risk it. It’s best I keep my head down and stay away from her until the end of school…maybe even forever.
I thought at the start of term this would be the best year ever, but it’s become something of a whirlwind of hatred, pain and suffering. I never thought I’d say this, but I’ll be glad to see the back of Caspian Academy.
The bell rings for us to go to another lesson. I collect all my belongings and ready myself for having Taya draped all over me again as I escort her to her next lesson. Unfortunately, we have the same one, so I’m pretty certain her limpet act will continue until lunchtime.
I’m not looking where I’m going as I walk straight out of the classroom and into someone.
“Get out of the way,” I order before looking up to see who it is.
Juniper stares back at me, confusion and hurt written across her face.
“Don’t worry, I’m moving,” she spits at me before turning on her heels.
I grab her arm and pull her closer, taking in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. I’m so focused on her smell I don’t register she’s slapped me across the face until the sting starts to echo around my body.
“Ouch,” I say, somewhat in stupid shock.
“I’ll give you ouch. Let me go.” She tries to tug her arm free from my grip, but I make a split second decision and pull her into the now empty classroom. “Jacobi, let me go.”
“No,” I reply with so much dominance that she stills. I open my mouth to tell her a load of lies, to keep her safe, but I can’t. I can’t lie to her. I feel her everywhere in my body. I recall the injuries she had, and how I healed them. I swallow deeply. “How are you?” .
“I’m fine, Jacobi.” I’m still holding Juniper’s arm tightly, and she starts struggling again to get free. “Thank you for saving me, but it would have been better if you hadn’t.”
“What?” I question in confusion.
“It would have been better if you hadn’t saved me. I wouldn’t have to watch you sucking face with Taya then. Great work, Jacobi. You were the great hero. Now run along and be a bully with your bimbo girlfriend who, ironically, is the one that put me in the hospital bed in the first place and got away with it completely. Yes, it would have been better if you’d just let me die.”
I pull Juniper closer to me. I should tell her I hate her, but I can’t. I can’t lie anymore, not when the pain she’s feeling exists inside me too.
“Don’t you ever say that again, Juniper. You are the most important thing in the world to me. I would save your life every time because without you I don’t exist.”
Juniper pulls hard and manages to get away from me. “The only reason you need me in your life is to figure out why you turn into a Guardian. I’m not a toy for you to play with, Jacobi. I won’t sit and watch while you act like a complete jerk.” She roots through her bag and pulls out a printed copy of the document I painstakingly typed up for her. “Go to hell, Jacobi. Find out what you are yourself and stay away from me.”
She throws the book down on the table and makes her way towards the door. My heart goes into a blind panic. I can’t lose her. I love her.
“I can’t stay away, because I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I saw you.”
Juniper stops. Her shoulders slump and slowly she turns around to face me. “You don’t know how often I’ve wanted to hear those words from your lips. I love you too, Jacobi. I always have, but it doesn’t change anything. Taya’s still between us. You're kissing her, you're playing her games, and I can’t watch.”
“I have to. She’s going to kill you if I don’t.” I quickly cross the room, and scooping Juniper into my arms, I hold her tight. “I can’t see you so broken and hurt again. Her family’s got too much power in the council.”
Juniper reaches up and strokes her hand down my cheek. “We need to put a stop to Taya’s games, and we need to find out how to control your powers. It’s all too much. Everything is against us, Jacobi, and I don’t know if I have the strength to fight anymore. I just want to make it through the rest of my time here at Caspian Academy and get out in one piece, and I worry if I admit my feelings for you publicly, that will never happen. Maybe when school’s over we can do this, be together. But for now, I just want to graduate. I can’t cope with anymore heartache. I’m too fragile.”
I lean forwards and press a kiss to Juniper's forehead. I know it’s only kissing her lips which changes me,
so there’s no risk.
“You don’t have to worry about your heart. I fixed that as well.” I think of the surgical apparatus holding her heart together which disintegrated into nothing when it wasn’t needed anymore.
“What?” Juniper looks at me confused.
“Your heart. You’ve had an operation on it. I don’t know what it was for, I just know you had medical intrusions which weren’t natural. I got rid of them and fixed your heart.”
“I’ve never had an operation on my heart,” Juniper protests.
“Maybe you were a baby, but I can assure you, you have,” I insist, this time with a little more force in my tone.
Juniper looks at me and opens her mouth to say something, but the words never come when she collapses unconscious in my arms.
“Wha…” the half a word I manage to get out hurts my head.
“Shhh, I’ve got you.” His voice travels over me and warms my body which is cold to my bones.
I grab my head. It’s thumping, making it hard to open my eyes. But even with my eyes closed, I can feel Jacobi’s arms around me and imagine the worried look on his face.
“I’m gonna take you to the nurse. This has to be connected to the accident.”
His words cause me to remember everything that’s happened. I push his arm away.
“No, you can’t be spotted with me. Taya wouldn’t like it,” I say, spitting out her name.
Carefully, I open my eyes and see the concern in his. He stares so hard at the floor I think it might burst into flames from his intensity.
Feeling guilty, I slip my palm onto his cheek. “It’s okay,” I whisper, a tear slipping from my eye.
A muscle in his cheek jumps, proving he knows I’m right; he can’t be seen with me. “Stay here, I’ll get someone to help you,” he orders.
I nod, letting another tear escape. His eyes hold a sheen of their own as he gently places me in a chair and tenderly kisses my head. “I do love you. Not because of our connection, but because you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, inside and out,” he tells me, then turning, he walks out the room before I can reply, before I can tell him I think he’s beautiful too. Another wave of tears run free.
