Chihuahua Confidential

by Waverly Curtis

  I set Princess on the floor backstage, and she went running down the stairs, across the stage, and straight for Caprice, who was sitting in the judge’s box. I heard Caprice’s cry of joy as Princess leaped into her arms, whimpering and covering her face with kisses. Caprice held her close, even though the tar still matted on the dog’s fur was rubbing off on her white dress.

  Siren Song did not head for Rebecca. She stayed with me and Pepe as we went into the costume area. Kooky came along, too. Perhaps the two dogs had become attached while they were in captivity.

  I shrugged off the silver dress, and Robyn helped me into my red tango dress. It was wicked—with a deep slit up the front and an asymmetrical hemline that fluttered when I moved. Pepe was buttoned into a little double-breasted jacket.

  We could hear the music of the tango. Luis must be onstage with the fake Siren Song. Felix caught up with us as we hurried over to the backstage area, with Siren Song following. Kooky had stayed behind in the costume area. Robyn was enchanted with the ugly little dog and was fawning over her.

  “Where have you been?” Felix asked. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

  “We had important business to take care of,” I said. “I’ll tell you all about it later.”

  We could see the dancers onstage. Luis was wearing a double-breasted coat, similar to Pepe’s, while the fake Siren Song wore a red dress that fluttered around her fluffy tail.

  “Hey,” Pepe told the real Siren Song, who stood next to him. “There is the dog who has taken your place! We cannot let her—”

  Pepe didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because Siren Song let out a furious growl and dashed onstage, barking and biting. The next thing we knew, the fake Siren Song went running past us, all of her red ruffles trembling, with Siren Song in close pursuit.

  Luis stopped and stood in the middle of the stage, stunned.

  Then Siren Song came running back and circled around Luis, her tail twitching seductively. She backed him up, step by step, until he was on the edge of the stage. Then, with a quick flick of her tail, she turned her back on him.

  Pepe went running forward to meet her in the center of the stage.

  Luis seemed even more confused.

  “What’s happening?” said Rebecca, taking a couple steps forward.

  “You want me to cut?” the main cameraman asked.

  Any inclination Rebecca may have had to stop the cameras was cut short when the dogs began dancing with each other, and the audience roared its approval.

  “No,” Rebecca yelled at the cameraman. “Keep rolling! This is really good stuff.” She waved her hand at Luis. “Get out of the way!” He stepped off the stage.

  Both Pepe and Siren Song stood on their hind feet, faced each other, dipped slightly as if bowing, and then began to circle each other. They mirrored each other’s movements, turning in a wide circle but always keeping their eyes on each other. The music swelled and became more complex, with numerous little runs and syncopations. Their little feet flew and flashed as they stepped into each other. Siren Song flung her head back. Pepe swaggered around her. And then as the violins played a final melodic flourish, they rested their heads on each other’s shoulders and stood, poised in embrace, as the music died away.

  The audience came to its feet, all the judges included, clapping, hooting, whistling, cheering. In the wings, Felix hugged me and I kissed him.

  Pepe and Siren Song dropped to all fours and walked to the lip of the stage to take their bows.

  Rebecca bounded up the steps, beaming. She turned to the judges. “Judges,” she said. “We’ve obviously had an impromptu change to the program. What do you—”

  “I give them both a perfect ten!” said Caprice, clutching Princess in her arms. “That was the most magnificent and heartfelt dance I’ve ever seen!”

  “Ten to both dogs!” echoed Miranda. “They expressed the true essence of the tango: desire, passion, two hearts beating as one.”

  “I have to concur,” said Beverly. “It seemed totally spontaneous. And they did it all without the benefit of any signals or supervision. They both deserve a ten!”

  The audience went wild.

  “Well,” said Rebecca, “we’ve heard the decision of our judges. It’s time to add up the total points for both of our finalists and award the grand prize. Remember the winner gets a hundred thousand dollars, an all-expense-paid trip to the Westminster Dog Show, and an opportunity to star in their own reality TV show.”

  “Hold on,” said Caprice. Then she motioned to her fellow judges to sit down and confer with her. After a brief consultation, Caprice stood and said, “We judges are all agreed. There should be no single grand-prize winner. The grand prize for Dancing with Dogs should go to both Siren Song the Pomeranian and Pepe the Chihuahua!”

  The audience erupted with applause so loud and with such terrific cheers that it almost drowned out Rebecca’s formal announcement. Pepe and Siren Song took bow after bow.

  I was so happy for them, especially for my dear Pepe. I stood with Felix, his arm around my waist. I glanced across the audience and saw that Caprice was smiling just as warmly as I was. She obviously loved Pepe very much, and it made me feel a tad better regarding the news I still had to break about Pepe being her long-lost dog.

  I wiped away a tear, knowing I would remember this moment forever.

  Chapter 35

  After the audience left, we all gathered backstage. The catering crew brought in trays of appetizers and handed each of us a flute of champagne. Everyone was there: Robyn and her costume ladies, who had dressed Kooky up in a little turquoise tutu and tiara; Reynaldo the groomer (although he disappeared with Princess to try to remove the tar from her fur); Zack, my hairstylist; and Alice, the vet, standing by Ted; I guess he had been released from jail. All the other choreographers were there as well, along with the other contestants and their dogs and the three judges.

  When all our glasses were filled with bubbly, Rebecca proposed a toast.

  “I want to thank everyone who made this show possible,” she said. “Thanks to your talent and hard work, my dream of making Dancing with Dogs a hit show is now a reality. You persevered despite all of the difficulties. I salute you, one and all!”

  We raised our glasses high, then took a sip. It was good champagne.

  “Nada for me?” asked Pepe, who stood beside me with his ladylove, Siren Song.

  “Dogs can’t drink champagne,” I told him. “It wouldn’t agree with you.”

  “So you say.” He was offended. “I have had tequila once and it was fine. Although I did not like the lime.”

  “One more thing,” said Rebecca. “A special toast to all of our fine contestants and their partners. Learning new dances every day couldn’t have been easy, but you performed with great style and poise. Especially our grand-prize winners, Pepe and Siren Song. Your final dance was more than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams!”

  We all took another swig of champagne.

  “Now you must give me a taste of your champagne,” Pepe told me. “After all, she is toasting me!”

  “Oh, all right.” I knelt down and let him slurp some from my mostly empty glass.

  “Yuck!” he said, sneezing and shaking his head. “The bubbles go right to my nose.”

  “And last but not least,” Rebecca went on. “Don Hillman just informed me that the network wants to sign us to a three-season contract. And they want to begin the first season with this pilot. So, soon all of you who participated will be famous! Plus, of course, you’ll earn residuals every time the show is aired.”

  This brought quite a roar of approval from the contestants present who had been eliminated during the competition. (The cheering came from the dogs’ dance partners, of course, as they themselves acted, well, like dogs, most of them eager for any canapé or tidbit of cheese that might fall to the floor.)

  “OK, everybody,” Rebecca said. “That wraps it up. Enjoy yourselves, but don’t forget—we stil
l have to break everything down, clean up, and vacate the soundstage by midnight at the latest.”

  We gave Rebecca a big round of applause when she finished. She took a bow, then made a beeline directly for me.

  “I guess I have you to thank for finding Siren Song,” she said. “How did you do it?”

  “We were looking for Caprice’s dog. The same people had kidnapped Siren Song.”

  “Well, I’m so glad she’s safe,” said Rebecca, picking her up and holding her close. “Ugh!” She held her out at arm’s length. “She smells awful.”

  “She does not!” said Pepe. “She smells delightful. As good as liverwurst!”

  “Look what they did to her,” said Rebecca. “She’s filthy! What sort of people were they?”

  “The sort of people who had no trouble killing people for money,” I said.

  “Oh, my poor darling!” said Rebecca, showering Siren Song with kisses. “At least they didn’t harm the dogs.”

  “Yes!” One could be grateful for that.

  “I have to say I was really angry with you when I heard that you had taken off just before the final performance.”

  “We figured it was more important to rescue the dogs even if we missed performing in Dancing with Dogs.”

  “Well, I don’t agree with your priorities,” said Rebecca, “but it all worked out in the end.” She buried her face in Siren Song’s fur, then crinkled her nose.

  “Siren Song, you’re going straight to the groomer for a shampoo!” She turned to me. “Don’t forget. We’re flying out tomorrow at two p.m. You and Pepe are going with us, right?”

  “About that . . . ,” I said, but then I looked around for Felix and saw he was on the other side of the room talking to Alice. Maybe I wouldn’t be staying an extra day to go meet his parents. And certainly Pepe wouldn’t be with me.

  “Let’s meet for lunch just after checkout time. Then we’ll take the limo to the airport,” Rebecca said.

  “Sure,” I said with a sigh.

  Rebecca took off with Siren Song, who whimpered as she was carried away.

  Poor Pepe. He looked so sad. He would miss Siren Song once he was back with Caprice and Rebecca took Siren Song back to Seattle. Or maybe Rebecca would relocate to Los Angeles to oversee the production of her show. The thought made me sad. They would all be together, but I would be alone in Seattle.

  I looked again for Felix and saw that he and Ted were shaking hands. I guess they had settled their differences. Then Ted put his arm around Alice and drew her close. She smiled up at him like a woman in love. Felix saw me watching them and motioned me over. Pepe came trotting behind me, keeping his eyes on the floor for any snacks that had dropped.

  Ted gave me a big hug. “I’m so grateful to you for catching the real murderers,” he said. “Now I’m off the hook.”

  “How do you know that already?” I asked. “Weren’t you in jail?”

  “No, I was out on bail. But my lawyer called me. He said the police were dropping all the charges. They got a confession.”

  “That’s great!” I said.

  “I really have to give you credit for not blowing my cover,” Ted said. “I don’t know why you trusted me. I needed to be on the set to see that the animals were OK. And after watching that last performance, I get it. Some dogs just like to perform.”

  “It’s true. Dogs like to dance!” Pepe said.

  “And thanks to being on the set, I met Alice. She’s going to join PETA and help me make sure that the animals we rescue are healthy. And I’m going to work with her, taking care of abused animals.”

  “I love a happy ending,” said Pepe. “This is as good as Paraiso perdido.”

  Chapter 36

  Caprice came rushing up. She was carrying Princess, who had been completely shaved by the groomer to remove all of the tar. Without her fluffy coat, her sturdy little white body made her look almost like Pepe. Even her ears were bare, but unlike Pepe’s pointed ears, they were round like those of a mouse, and she still had two little tufts of brown fur that stuck up on the top of her head.

  “Geri,” said Caprice. “I don’t know if I can ever really thank you enough for saving my Princess, but this is for you.”

  She handed me an envelope containing a check. I pulled it out and looked at it. It was made out in the amount of $10,000.

  “Oh, Caprice!” I said. “You don’t—”

  “Of course I do,” she said. She favored me with a glowing smile. “I gave the same amount to your boss, Jimmy G.”

  At the sound of his name, Jimmy G came strolling over with a paper plate loaded with food.

  “Small reward for what you did,” Caprice told me, taking my hand in hers.

  “Well—”

  “By the way,” Caprice asked, “how did you figure it all out? Your boss told me that the murders and the kidnapping of the dogs were connected—and something about a package delivery and an independent film. But I still don’t understand.”

  “It’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain it as best I can,” I told Caprice.

  “Start with Nigel St. Nigel’s murder,” Pepe told me.

  “All the murders were committed by the kidnappers,” I said. “Nigel St. Nigel was the first.”

  “But why?” Caprice asked. “Why would they kill him? Did he have a dog?”

  “Actually, yes,” I said. “They had kidnapped his dog, too. Rodney Klamp said Nigel didn’t have a dog, but he did. Evidently this Nacho character came to the soundstage on Sunday to pick up the ransom from Nigel. But Nigel refused to pay. They got into a fight and Nacho killed him.”

  “But how did he get onto the studio lot?” Caprice asked. “You have to have business here to get into the studio.”

  “Hollywood Parcel Service,” said Pepe.

  “They created a fake delivery service,” I explained. “Said they had a package that had to be delivered and signed for, and got onto the lot that way. The packages weren’t really important. They were just an excuse to get into the lot. They used the same ruse two other times—on Wednesday when they delivered a package for me and on Thursday when Jake was killed.”

  “Why would they kill him?”

  “I don’t think they meant to. I think Jake saw Nacho taking off with Siren Song, and he tried to stop him.”

  “But Siren Song was never missing. She danced in every performance.”

  “That was a look-alike.”

  “But not a smell-alike,” said Pepe.

  “So when Rebecca refused to pay the ransom, they needed to kidnap another dog. That’s when they took Princess,” I told Caprice. “Jennifer probably just handed her over to them.”

  “Unlike the first time,” said Pepe.

  “What?” I asked.

  “My own Jennifer!” said Caprice. “How could she do that to me? How did she ever get mixed up with those horrible people?”

  “They were working on a movie together,” said Jimmy G. “Nacho was the director. He had just graduated from film school. Rodney wrote the script. And Jennifer had the leading role.”

  “What does that have to do with kidnapping dogs?”

  “They ran out of dough. It was their big dream, and they weren’t going to let anything stand in the way of them finishing it. So they started kidnapping dogs—important dogs belonging to important people, like you,” Jimmy G said.

  “I was the first,” said Pepe.

  “They figured they’d get the loot to finish their film that way. Almost worked. The dirty rats just didn’t count on Jimmy G.”

  “Or me!” said Pepe. “Or you either, Geri,” he added.

  “Well, I’m ever so grateful!” said Caprice, turning to go.

  “What do you mean you were the first?” I asked Pepe.

  “I remember now. It happened to me! I was walking with Jennifer when a big van came by and they threw me inside. I hit my head and all of it has been a big blank until now.”

  “Are you talking to your dog, Geri?” Felix asked.

/>   “Yes, he’s telling me he was kidnapped, too.”

  “Oh, poor little guy,” said Caprice, stopping in her tracks.

  “They put me in a little box. They left me all alone.” Pepe was shivering. “But I got out. I broke free.” His voice got stronger. “I was making my way home. Step by step. I stopped to get a bite to eat and visit with a pretty senorita. And the dog police grabbed me.”

  “When was that?” Caprice asked.

  Felix looked at me. I looked at Pepe. Pepe looked at Caprice.

  “I think it was when he lived with you,” I told her.

  “What?”

  “I think this is your dog.”

  “Um, Geri . . . ,” said Alice.

  “Actually,” I said, hardly hearing my own voice, “I’m sure he’s your dog.”

  “What?” Caprice looked back and forth between Pepe and me.

  “What?” echoed Pepe.

  “Yes,” I said. “It’s true.” I took a deep breath. “Pepe has an identification chip. Alice scanned it and the results conclusively proved that he belongs to you.”

  “Nobody told me,” said Pepe.

  “Really?” Caprice stood, frozen in place as she gazed at Pepe. “How could that be?”

  “I don’t know how,” I said. “Jennifer probably had something to do with it. But it doesn’t matter. All that matters is, he’s yours and you should have him.”

  Felix grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.

  “Just a momentito,” said Pepe. “Geri!” He looked up at me, his big brown eyes growing as moist as my own. “I do not wish to leave you.”

  I couldn’t help it. My eyes flooded with tears. “You have to,” I told him. “You belong to Caprice.” I pointed at her. “But I’ll always love you. Go.”

  Pepe locked his eyes on mine. He remained silent, which he never was, and just kept looking into my eyes. I couldn’t stand it. I had to look down. When I finally looked up, he was ever so slowly walking toward Caprice, head down and tail between his legs.

  I turned away, fearing I would collapse or cry out. Felix gathered me into his arms.