Fear Us

by B. B. Reid

  When dinner was finished, I spooned her favorite meal of mac and cheese into a bowl with franks cut into small pieces.

  “Kennedy, I made your favorite!”

  I waited with a smile. In no time, she appeared at the gate and flashed a toothy grin. “Franks?” She shouted excitedly causing her r to sound like a w.

  My cell rang just as I opened the gate. I sat her in the chair and pushed the bowl of mac and franks in front of her before picking up.

  “Hey, Lake.”

  “Don’t hey me. How did it go?”

  I feigned irritation and sighed, “Do you know, the more you’re with him, the ruder you get?”

  I would never have imagined the woman Lake Monroe is today was the same timid, naive girl who was bullied mercilessly by her now boyfriend.

  Four years ago, no one knew the reason behind the deep hatred Keiran Masters felt for her. He had been the king of Bainbridge and had no problem using his power to ridicule and cripple her social life and self-esteem for ten years before it all changed for love.

  Even though love had softened his rough edges, he could still be a scary motherfucker. I used to worry for Lake because people didn’t just change overnight, but so far, I haven’t seen signs she might be unhappy.

  “Fess up and quit stalling. I can’t trust my future kids to some quack.” She began murmuring to someone in the background before I could respond. It must have been Keiran because I heard kissing followed by a loud slap and giggling.

  “Do you two need some time alone?

  “Huh? Oh, sorry. So did it go well?”

  “I won’t really know for sure for another week. You know this.”

  “But do you think you did well?”

  “Lake, what is this about?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, why are you suddenly so interested in my grades?”

  “Do I need a specific reason to be interested?”

  My eyes narrowed although she couldn’t see me. Something was up. “Put Keiran on the phone.”

  “I don’t understand why—”

  “Lake,” I growled.

  The next second a deep voice filtered through the phone. “What’s up?”

  “You tell me. Lake’s fishing. What’s going on?”

  I knew if there was anyone who wouldn’t insult my intelligence by beating around the bush or pretending, it would be Keiran.

  “I’m going after him.”

  Not even a few deep breaths could calm the turbulent storm in my head. I tried to tell myself it would be just like every other time. Keenan was never coming back. He promised me so the night he left.

  “Keiran, don’t you think it’s time to give that up?”

  “I found him, Sheldon.”

  My pulse quickened, and my heart skipped a beat.

  “You told me you would stop looking,” I snapped. Did he really find him? I had a million questions I wanted to ask, and yet I knew better than to give into the possibilities, but my heart had different ideas.

  “I told you this was the last time,” he defended.

  “And so you just happened to get lucky?” There must have been a million rocks Keenan had hidden under.

  “He’s my fucking brother, Sheldon.” His voice dropped threatening, but then almost at the same moment, he added softly, “I probably would have never given up.”

  “Why do you care so much? He hates you and don’t you remember what he tried to do to Lake?”

  “It’s not something I’ll forget anytime soon. What’s your point?”

  “He could be dangerous, Keiran. It’s been four years. We don’t know him anymore.”

  “I’m not turning my back on my brother.”

  “It’s funny because it’s exactly what he’s done to you.”

  “How long do you think your excuse for him would be enough for Kennedy? One day, she’s going to ask real questions.”

  “She’s doing just fine without him.”

  “That isn’t your decision to make. She needs her father.”

  “You’re wrong, Keiran. It is my decision to make, and she doesn’t need that coward.” I hung up without waiting for a response. Let him be on the receiving end of rude behavior for once.

  I double checked to make sure Kennedy was okay before heading for my bedroom. Once inside, I closed and locked the door, ran to my bed, and screamed my frustration into the pillow.

  How could he do this?

  No one knew what bringing Keenan back here would mean.

  CHAPTER THREE

  FOUR YEARS AGO

  PROM WAS EVERYTHING I thought it would be and nothing like I wanted. All night, I was surrounded by friends. There was laughter, music, dancing. The colorful lights and ornaments had lit up the gymnasium. Everything should have been perfect, but it all had felt so wrong.

  If it weren’t for Willow, I wouldn’t have even bothered, but according to her, I needed to make a statement. I had been fully prepared to play dress up and enjoy the night. I had even looked forward to witnessing Keiran slow dance. It was supposed to have been amusing, but when he gently led Lake to the dance floor and took her into his arms, it only served to remind me of all that I had lost from love. I could tell he was nervous, but the way he stared into her eyes and her at him—as if they were the only two people in the world, seemed to help him through it.

  They had been together for all of two minutes while Keenan and I had been together for two years yet, somehow, their bond seemed truer. I think it was at that moment I began to resent the idea of love.

  There was a saying that love doesn’t love anyone.

  Whoever said that was a fucking genius.

  I walked inside the house alone after being driven home from prom by Keiran and Lake. My parents were away on a business trip, so the house was quiet and dark. I didn’t want to be alone, but there was no one available to call. Willow unexpectedly had to leave prom early after a rather angry phone call from her mom. All she managed to say before leaving was that she had to get home right away. Dash surprisingly offered to take her, and even more surprisingly, she went without a fuss.

  I had high hopes that those two would quit fighting the inevitable. It was a hope I didn’t bother to keep secret.

  I made my way into the kitchen and snagged one of my dad’s beers. I preferred something much stronger, but eventually, my parents became smarter after catching us stealing the drinks for the fifth time. They now changed the combination to the cellar every week.

  Memories of a simpler time, when love was simple and new, invaded my conscience, and suddenly, I wished for those days again.

  I wasted no time shedding my dress and heels. My favorite pajamas were spread out on the bed so I grabbed them and headed for the en suite bathroom for a much-needed soak.

  My last thoughts, before I succumbed to sleep, were if I might have been better off never going to the prom.

  Some time later, cold air greeted my skin as my body was lifted from the even colder water. I was fighting the disorientation left over from sleep and the hands that were carrying me.

  “No,” I protested while not entirely sure what I was fighting.

  “I see you haven’t gotten over telling me no yet.”

  The deep voice registered at the same time as the shock of having him here. “Keenan?”

  He didn’t bother to answer as he carried me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, but I witnessed the hardening of his jaw. I also saw all the bruises.

  “What happened to you?” I shrieked and shivered from the cold. “Wait, I need a towel.”

  The impact of my body hitting my bedsheets was the only answer, and when I managed to turn over, I had to fight off an even colder chill.

  Keenan radiated anger, and I knew I played a huge part in it. He still wanted me to be someone I couldn’t anymore. It wasn’t the betrayal he accused me of—it was survival. He had my heart and always would, but if I continued to be with him, he would steal my very existence.


  “I’ve seen all you have to offer. You don’t need a towel.”

  “Yes, but I was wet, and now I am wet and cold.”

  A slow grin appeared and a quick rub of his chin followed by, “I promise to warm you up soon enough,” was all I needed to give in to fear.

  “And how do you plan to do that?” I asked unnecessarily. We both knew what he came for. The only question was whether or not I would give in. I met Keenan’s stare and had the strange feeling the choice wouldn’t be mine to make.

  “Later. We have things to discuss.”

  “Things?”

  He turned his back and walked silently to the window to place his hands on the glass. His head hung low, and when I peered through the dark, I could see his shoulders rise and fall with his deep breaths.

  “Why?” The single worded question spoken brokenly would be forever etched in my memory. There were so many answers to that single question, but there was only one I think he needed to know.

  “Because you hurt me… for the last time,” I added. This wasn’t like all the other times he’d hurt me, and I took him back.

  “So it’s that easy for you, huh?”

  “Easy?” I was off the bed in a flash, dragging the sheet with me to ward off the chill and preserve some modesty. “You think this is easy?”

  “I really don’t care if it is or not. Discussing our breakup is low on the list of things I want to do to you right now.”

  “Then why are you here, Keenan?”

  “I want to know why you don’t want me anymore.”

  I clenched my hands around the sheets to keep from reaching out to him. I wanted to touch and comfort him, but then I realized this was how he was always able to get me to go back before.

  “It’s not you I don’t want,” I whispered before allowing my voice to harden along with my resolve. “It’s the emotional baggage I have to carry by being with you, and the fact that you slept with my teacher along with every girl in Six Forks.”

  “Fine.” He whirled around to face me with frustration lining his features. “I fucked her. I fucked her and many other faceless girls. I can’t tell you why when I can’t even remember their names.”

  “You need to leave, Keenan. We’re over. Forever.”

  It was like a dark shadow clouded his eyes as he stalked closer. I was locked in his possession long before he touched me. My body lifted until I was on my toes as he tightened his hands around my arms. “I’m not going anywhere.” He took my lips in a brutal kiss that was painful in more ways than one. My sheet was ripped from my body and left to float to the floor. “And neither are you.”

  * * * * *

  PRESENT

  “Mama. Up.” I felt the blankets lift from my face and peeked with one eye to see a conspiratorial grin beaming brighter than the morning sun.

  “So what is it this morning?” I grumbled as I struggled to awaken fully. “My shoes? The wall?”

  “I made bubbles, Mama.”

  “What?” She jumped down and ran off into the master bathroom. It was the only door I didn’t keep gated having thought it was safe. “Kennedy Sophia Chambers. If you did what I think you did, you’re in big trouble, little girl.”

  When I heard the unmistakable sound of water splashing, I rushed into the bedroom. I tripped twice while attempting to untangle my feet from the sheets. My heart was racing for the few seconds it took me to make it into the bathroom.

  “Mama. Look!” Kennedy was standing safe, sound, and proud next to the large garden tub. Amidst the bubbles were various toys and dolls floating. Some had even sunk to the bottom. It wasn’t the toys, however causing the pounding near my temple. Nearly the entire bathroom floor was covered in sudsy water, among other things.

  “Kennedy, what did I tell you about the bathroom?”

  Her smile slowly faded as she tucked her hands behind her back. She may be young, but she was extremely adept at sensing moods and from the tone of my voice, there was no question that I wasn’t happy.

  “But mama, there wasn’t a gate.”

  “You know my rules, and you could have been hurt.”

  “How?” she placed her hands on her hips. “Bubbles are nice.”

  “Oh? Should we call your uncles and ask them?”

  Her eyes had widened before she yelled, “You wouldn’t!”

  “Oh, I would,” I whispered and winked for good measure. “Now, I want you to go to your room and think about what you did, and maybe I won’t call them.”

  She wasted no time stomping off with an attitude. It was pitiful how much better Keiran and Dash were at disciplining her yet she worshiped the ground they walked on.

  Dash, unfortunately, had just left for Germany and wasn’t scheduled to fly back for another couple of months. He was learning how to run the family business and so Keiran would pick up the slack in disciplining Kennedy.

  I may not have been lacking in the parenting department, but the extra help always came in handy, and Kennedy responded better to her uncles.

  Since I was done with school and only had graduation left, I mentally planned an entire day for us to pig out on snacks with a slew of Disney movies for company until I remembered Kennedy had an eye doctor appointment. My kid had been squinting enough times lately for me to worry that her eyesight was poor.

  “Hey, brat!” I called to her from my bedroom.

  “Yes, Mother?”

  “Oh, so now I’m mother?” I knew what her game was. When she was upset with me, she called me mother instead of mama.

  “We have somewhere to be. Can you get dressed for mama?” I stressed the word for emphasis.

  A stretch of silence greeted me before she begrudgingly answered with, “I suppose.” It came out more like ‘pose‘ but it made me laugh all the same. I shook my head and admitted to myself that sometimes I couldn’t believe she was really mine. She was a piece of work, which I fully blamed her sperm donor for it.

  Somewhere where my conscious lived, I knew it wasn’t entirely his fault he wasn’t here for her, but the scorned woman in me disagreed. He made the decision to run away whether or not he knew what that night had created.

  My parents had been away, and Dash never came home, so Keenan had been free and all too willing to bend me to his will repeatedly throughout the night. I couldn’t even remember ever using protection. He had taken me hard and unapologetically. It was brutal in more ways than one, and like a fool, I let him take out his frustrations and hatred between my thighs. But still, the only thing I regretted about that night was losing him forever after, but it had been my choice.

  “Mama, can I wear my new leggings?” Kennedy’s voice brought me back to the present and called attention to the heated flush spreading over my skin. Nothing about that night was right or even could be called sane, but it never failed to warm me in places that hadn’t been touched… or claimed… in four years.

  “That depends,” I teased as I pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, “will you need help putting them on?”

  “Mommy, Uncle Keke said I was a big girl so I can do it by myself,” she fussed.

  “I was just asking. Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” I muttered under my breath. I had to be careful of what I said around her. She paid attention and repeated almost everything she heard.

  Not wanting to leave her alone for too long, I cleaned up the bathroom and showered as quickly as possible and dressed even quicker. The days of lingering showers and meticulous outfit selections were long over. Besides being so young, she could have a seizure at any moment.

  Every second I was afraid for my daughter.

  I lived for her, yet she terrified me.

  I wondered if this was what true love really felt like.

  After Kennedy had been dressed and fed, we headed thirty minutes into town to the family optometrist belting out lyrics along with Katy Perry.

  Coming back to Six Forks always made me nervous. After finding out about Kennedy, my relationship with my parents had become s
trained for many reasons. My parents had never fully supported my dreams to become a fashion model, and until the day they found out I was pregnant, they held high hopes that they could talk me into a more respectable profession. One that required a four-year degree.

  In a way, my parents got their wish, but not in a way they’d ever imagined.

  Dash was disappointed in me and barely spoke to me throughout most of my pregnancy. He had helped Keiran search high and low for Keenan though I’m sure his motives were far more sinister. It was the first time in a long time Dash and I had been at odds with each other. Eventually, the fear and loss of love had begun to weigh on my emotions until I began to consider abortion.

  But my fears and my final decision changed the day I heard my baby’s heartbeat. Keiran had all but kidnapped me and dragged me to the doctor when I told him my decision. But it wasn’t to the nearest clinic. He had taken me to an OBGYN minus an appointment and intimidated the flustered, elderly doctor into giving me an ultrasound. Thankfully, he had the conscience to wait outside, but it didn’t matter anyway.

  The manipulative bastard had done the trick.

  I wanted my baby.

  I just didn’t realize how much until I found out how very much alive she was.

  After that, Keiran stuck by my side as much as possible along with Lake, who, thankfully, had a gentler touch when it came to persuasion. If it weren’t for her, Keiran would have driven me insane. I would never understand how she dealt with his controlling and bossy tendencies on a daily basis.

  Beyond his shortcomings, I had learned something about him during those nine months and the following years that a decade of school with him hadn’t shown me.

  Keiran had a heart.

  A heart with bleeding holes, but a heart nonetheless.

  My change in perspective mixed with unbalanced emotions might have had something to do with my pregnancy, but either way, I was grateful for him. One could even say we were friends… sort of.

  * * * * *

  The visit to the optometrist ended with Kennedy being fitted for a pair of eyeglasses. Her vision had suffered only a minor decrease, but she was in danger of becoming severely nearsighted. Of course, this wasn’t much of an issue for Ken once she was able to pick out purple eyeglasses with glitter.