Fear Us

by B. B. Reid

  “Sheldon and I need to have a private conversation. Take Kennedy and we’ll follow you.”

  “Dash, don’t!”

  I expected that if anyone helped, it would be Dash, but when he shook his head, I felt my confidence waver and panic rear its ugly head. “I can’t help you anymore if you’re going to keep giving in. You need to work it out,” he said before driving off.

  “How could you just take my daughter?” My rant was cut short when Keenan tossed me over his shoulder. “Stop!” He walked the short distance back to the car, but when he bypassed the passenger and rear door, confusion took the place of my anger.

  He quickly popped the trunk, and the next second, I landed inside. The hard impact jarred me and before I could recover, the door slammed shut.

  * * * * *

  After an hour of riding in the trunk, I suffered from motion sickness. If I didn’t know any better, I would think he purposely weaved in and out of traffic to taunt me. Another hour passed, and I had just begun to drift to sleep when the car came to a hard stop. Before I could brace, I rolled and hit the wall of the trunk, and with a grunt of pain, I settled back into place just in time for the trunk to open.

  It took a moment for my eyes to adjust. Keenan’s face was a blank mask of indifference that was far more chilling than anger. At least, when he was angry, I could tell what he was thinking and even predict his next move.

  “Are you waiting for an invitation?”

  I allowed for my contempt for him to show and then slowly climbed from the trunk. My muscles screamed in protest so I took a moment to stretch and breathe in the fresh air.

  “Feeling better?”

  “Why did you do that to me?”

  “Because you needed it.”

  “I needed it? You think I needed to be locked in your trunk like a bag of groceries?”

  “I meant you needed time alone to think. You were acting like a child so I treated you like one. Think of it as a timeout.”

  “You son of a—”

  “Finish that sentence, and I promise you’ll make the rest of the trip feeling worse than a bag of groceries.”

  “I hate you.” Surprisingly, saying it out loud didn’t make it feel real—as I would have hoped.

  “You don’t hate me yet, but you will. I’ll make sure of it.”

  I stared at him incredulously. “Why would you want me to hate you?” And why did I care?

  “Because it will make being with me that much harder on you, and then you’ll feel what it was like to be without you.”

  “After four years, you still don’t get it, do you?”

  “What am I supposed to get, Shelly?”

  A part of me couldn’t believe that I would do this on the side of a barren highway, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

  “I didn’t leave you because I didn’t want you. I left you because I realized how much better and stronger I was without you. You, who were cocky, arrogant, spoiled, and unfaithful, you actually believed you deserved—no, you believed you were entitled to me. You weren’t, and you never will be. It doesn’t matter how much pain you cause me or how much control you have. I’ll never truly be yours again.”

  A whirlwind of rage clouded his dark eyes making them appear almost black. I could no longer make out the irises until what was left of them resembled a soulless window. “You don’t have to be mine, but you’ll never belong to anyone else.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  KEENAN

  AFTER THE CONFRONTATION with Shelly, the beach was the last place I wanted to be. If I followed my instincts to be a bastard, I would have taken her somewhere private where I could enact just how she would stay mine. But Kennedy called to me. After only just meeting her, I couldn’t stay away.

  How could someone so innocent possess that kind of control with little effort?

  “What took you guys so long?” Lake questioned with suspicion in her tone. She glanced over at Sheldon before turning narrowed eyes toward me.

  Sheldon chose to remain silent so I spoke up. “We got confused about the direction we were going, but we straightened it out.” It was a hidden meaning that only Sheldon seemed to catch judging by the look she sent me.

  “Mommy!” Kennedy ran full speed through the lobby of the resort while the rest followed. For the first time since unlocking Sheldon from the trunk, a smile graced her lips as she stooped just in time to catch Kennedy. “We go to the beach now?”

  “Mommy just needs to put on her bathing suit, and then we can go, okay?”

  Kennedy got a disgruntled look on her face and then peered down at her empty wrist as if checking the time. Her little head popped up and a flash of mischief appeared just before she said, “Mama come naked like the shower!”

  Now there’s an idea.

  I couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up inside, spilling out until it filled the lobby. Everyone, including Sheldon followed while Kennedy looked on in confusion before joining. Once I was back in control, I scooped down next to Sheldon.

  “I think that’s a great idea, Kennedy, but your mother may not be allowed on the beach if she isn’t dressed properly. What do you say your aunt and uncles take you, and we come find you when we’re done?”

  “Can Uncle Keke come, too?”

  “Who?” I looked to Sheldon for help.

  “Keiran. She can’t say his name well, so Lake got her to call him that. I think he is still making her pay for it.”

  “Of course he can. In fact, he’s going to hold your hand all the way there. Sound good?”

  She nodded enthusiastically, but somehow, I knew she wasn’t satisfied when she didn’t immediately take off. Keiran came forth and picked her up, but before he could walk away, she asked, “Are you coming, too?”

  The worried look on her face as if she were afraid to lose me gave me pause. At that moment, I wanted to promise her the entire world with none of the bad if she wished for it.

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” I promised.

  Once everyone cleared the lobby, I placed my hand at Sheldon’s back and led her to the front desk. “I have a reservation for three.”

  After giving the clerk my information, he handed me a set of keys. I clamped a hand around Sheldon’s arm and steered her toward the elevators.

  “Please tell me those are keys for two rooms.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Because Kennedy and I need our own room.”

  “You both are staying with me.” The elevator doors opened, and thankfully, no one was around to enter with us. I could feel my temper spiking.

  “I’m not putting my daughter in a room to sleep with a stranger.”

  I’d lost the fight. My hand was around her throat, and I’d forced her back until she was trapped in the corner. I could only hope there weren’t cameras.

  “I’m not a stranger to her anymore. I’m her father. A fact she will be told tonight.” The pressure I applied prevented her from responding, which was the safest route.

  Only when the doors opened, did I release her. I struggled internally with myself. The old me may have lived a forged lie, but I never would have touched her that way, and even now, I felt sick with myself.

  Once again, I placed my hand on the small of her back with an ease that belied the brute force a few moments ago.

  “The only way to survive is to hurt those against you before they can hurt you, and if they succeed, you welcome the pain and make them pay.”

  Back then, Keiran’s advice had only made me afraid, but now it gave me purpose. I hardened my resolve by reminding myself that this wasn’t a fairytale. This was just the beginning of her imprisonment to me.

  * * * * *

  Sheldon had not breathed a word and still looked a little shell-shocked since the incident in the elevator, but I was determined not to feel guilt.

  When we made it to the beach, Keiran and Lake were nowhere to be found. Dash was laid out in the sun reading a book while every girl on the beach watche
d on with sultry fascination. I looked around for Kennedy and found her splashing in the water with Q and Jesse. Q was attempting to teach her to surf, in shallow water no less, while Jesse watched. Amusement poured through my senses erasing all the tension from the past few hours.

  “Three-year-olds don’t surf, dude.” Jesse deadpanned.

  “This isn’t just any three-year-old. Isn’t that right, rugrat?” A spark of jealousy flowed through me at the realization that everyone seemed to have a relationship with Kennedy except for me.

  “Mama… Keenan, look!” Kennedy struggled to stand even with Q’s hands holding her, but when she finally succeeded, the brightest smile appeared. Sheldon wasted no time running into the water, creating a splash while I ogled her lush frame in the two-piece. Motherhood had done her body well.

  For a few hours of beach fun and the happiness of my daughter, I let go of the past and my plans for the future. I taught Kennedy the basics of swimming and used it as an opportunity to bond. I was amazed at her passion for the water at such a young age.

  Keiran and Lake materialized after we had exhausted ourselves in the water. The guilty blush that heated her cheeks and his smug smirk provided a detailed description of what they had been doing for the past few hours.

  “Nice of you two to join us finally, but I’m hungry,” Dash announced.

  “Why didn’t you get one of the women who can’t stop staring at your crotch to get you some food?”

  “Because then they would expect me to put out, and my mother taught me that what’s inside my cookie jar is precious.”

  “That was me, idiot.” Sheldon rolled her eyes as she toweled off Kennedy.

  “Since Keenan abandoned us to live out here, why doesn’t he pick a place?”

  I sent Dash a look to fuck off and packed up the bag that Sheldon had packed for Kennedy. “I don’t live around here so I wouldn’t know.”

  I turned to Sheldon just in time to see the play of emotions on her face before she covered it up with a blank expression. Could it have been the reminder that I left or that I’d created another life? When we began our trek back up to the resort, I shrugged it off. Whatever we were before now no longer mattered.

  Back at the resort, we agreed to meet in an hour for dinner before going our separate ways. “Are the three of you in the same room together?” Lake asked after the rest had left. Her expression turned down into disapproval.

  “Yes, we are.”

  “But you haven’t told Kennedy,” she continued while looking between the two of us. “Won’t that confuse her?”

  “Believe me, I’ve tried to tell him,” Sheldon griped.

  Kennedy was already half asleep on my shoulder and wasn’t likely to notice anything, but I saw Lake’s point even though the last thing I wanted was to agree with her. I struggled to gain leverage and looked toward Keiran for help, silently communicating with him.

  “We’ll take Kennedy since we’re already showered.” He lifted her from my arms and took a hold of Lake’s elbow, steering her down the hall.

  Sheldon watched them walk the short distance to their room before angrily jamming the keycard into the lock. After about three unsuccessful attempts, I brushed her aside and opened the door.

  “I’ll shower first so I can get Kennedy ready,” was all she said before disappearing into the large bathroom and slamming the door. The walls vibrated from the force of her anger causing the gold framed artwork to rattle on the walls.

  I waited until I heard the shower run before I stripped away my swimming trunks and followed after her. It had been torture watching her glisten as she played in the sun and water and not be able to touch her. I figured since she was mine, I may as well indulge.

  When I stepped inside the bathroom, steam was already beginning to form, but I could still make out her silhouette in the large shower stall made for two. I took a moment to admire her naked frame through the glass door before opening it.

  She jumped and let out a low gasp before her amber eyes turned dark with anger. “Get out.”

  “No.”

  It was all I could muster before I gave in to the lust pounding through my veins straight down to my dick. I sealed any further protests by sticking my tongue as far down her throat as I could get, and surprisingly, she took me.

  I soon learned, however, that the pleasure of her surrender didn’t come without a little pain. She raked her nails down my chest. I flinched at the same moment my cock surged to life, becoming harder than before.

  When I finally let my lips drift down to her neck, she whispered, “I can’t seem to deny you and more terrifying is that I don’t want to, even though this is all we’ll ever have. I hope it’s enough for you.”

  “Shelly, I’ll never get enough.” I lifted my head to meet her eyes. “So I guess I’ll have to keep fucking you.” I lifted her leg and hooked it around my hip so I could enter her slowly. I couldn’t stop until I was seated inside her fully, and I loved the flash of pain in her eyes just before she surrendered to the pleasure.

  “Keenan, you fill me so full,” she moaned just before her eyes fluttered closed.

  “And you still own me, baby. Fuck you.” My hips slammed into her until it became frenzied fucking. Her gasps and moans were so guttural that I could feel them travel up my own spine until it eventually came out through my throat with a grunt. “It’s never been like this,” I growled against her neck before biting down onto it. I wanted to hurt her more than I wanted to breathe, so I bit down harder until she cried out for mercy.

  It was too bad I had none to give.

  Blood rushed through my body heightening my need. I found myself yanking her up higher around my waist, but when that wasn’t enough, I anchored her against the shower for my cock to have its tortured way with her.

  Her pussy sucked me even deeper even when her little whimpers begged me to slow down.

  “Keenan!”

  Her scream made my cock twitch inside her. I fucking loved my name on her lips, and I’d give anything to keep it there.

  “Don’t ask me to stop, baby. I can’t.” I tightened my arms around her and gave her the friction she needed to propel her over the edge and straight into orgasmic bliss. Just as she started to come down, I pushed deeper inside her body for my release.

  “You can’t come… inside me… again,” she panted. I released her and turned away.

  “Aren’t you on birth control?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  I took the time to grab soap and lather before responding. “We’ll schedule an appointment when we get back.”

  “That’s all you have to say?” she snapped and snatched the soap from my hand. “What if I get pregnant again?”

  “Then I’ll be here for you.” Even to my own ears, it sounded more like a threat than a supportive gesture.

  “That won’t happen. You ruined my life once. I won’t let you do it again.”

  “Are you saying my daughter ruined your life?”

  “Yes—no. I’m saying you ruined my life. Kennedy is the best thing that ever happened to me. I just wish you weren’t a part of her.”

  The ferocity at which her statement hit me caused my self-control to explode. I ripped open the shower door and dragged her out behind me—soapy skin and all. She didn’t attempt to get away, and so I was able to easily sit her on the marble vanity.

  “Spread your legs.”

  I don’t know if it was the tone of my voice, the scowl on my face, or the possibility of another mind-blowing orgasm, but she spread her legs without argument, and I quickly gave her every inch of me inside her pussy while swallowing her cries.

  “I’m going to make you regret that.”

  * * * * *

  An hour had passed a long time ago I realized when I checked my phone and saw a message from Keiran stating that they took Kennedy out to eat along with an address to the restaurant.

  “Are we done fighting for the day?” she asked. Her voice was hoarse and weak from hard sex
and sleep. I didn’t notice when she began to trace my chest with her fingers. Over four years, I collected tattoos on my chest as a way to forget the night my entire life became a lie, and I started living in the nightmare instead. Each tattoo, all of them meaningless except for one, covered the six bullet wounds I carried from that night. I would always hear how I was lucky to be alive though I felt far from lucky.

  “They’re gone,” I stated harsher than I meant, but I constantly found myself in a state of frustration when it came to her.

  “No. It’s here…” She kissed the spot near my lungs before moving on and making her way up my chest. “And here…” She pressed another lingering kiss over the spot where my heart lay. I felt a drop of moisture and looked down to see another tear escape. “They will never be gone. Tattoos won’t fix the pain. It’s so much deeper than your skin.”

  She looked up and met my gaze once more, but this time she held it. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re searching for something.”

  “Because I am.”

  “And what are you searching for?”

  “Him.”

  “Him?”

  “The boy I fell in love with.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Because I’ve wanted to tell him for a long time now that I still love him.”

  My ears rang with the force of my heart pounding in my chest. I searched for sincerity or for a sign that it could still be a lie.

  She still loved me?

  No... Not me.

  Him.

  “What?”

  “I want him to come back. If not for me, then for Kennedy.”

  “He was cocky, arrogant, spoiled, and unfaithful, remember?” Her opinion of me would forever remain in my memory. I didn’t have the right to feel hurt over it. I’d more than earned it.

  “Yes, but he also followed his conscience and loved with his heart on his sleeve. He would have given his life for me rather than threaten to take mine in more ways than one. He left because deep down he couldn’t let me go any other way, so he did what he could to set me free.”