by Jamie Summer
I didn’t even try to deny his words. Part of me was glad he didn’t ask if Trevor was someone else’s kid. I loved Gavin. He knew there had been no one else.
“How could you? How could you leave without telling me why? Did I not show you how much I loved you? How much I wanted to be with you?” The pain in his voice almost broke me, and I felt tears well in the corner of my eyes.
“We were young. You had a career ahead of you. I didn’t want anything holding you back.” While it was the truth, seeing the broken expression on Gavin’s face made me think there should have been another option.
He fisted his hands at his sides. “Holding me back? I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I knew no words would change anything I did.
“Does he know?” Gavin asked. I shook my head. “God, Betty. I…I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.” He turned to leave.
“You promised,” I reminded him. He stopped, his back to me. I wasn’t sure if he knew what I referred to, but when he walked over to the door leading to the outside, I knew he did.
The moment Gavin stepped outside, Trevor instantly went over to him. Though I expected Gavin’s behavior toward Trevor to have changed, they had an animated, happy conversation before Gavin said his goodbyes. He acknowledged my mom with a nod, then walked past me without so much as a glance in my direction.
I didn’t deserve anything more.
“Mom, Gavin said he’d see about me trying out for the youth team and also about getting us back in here for a game,” Trevor said as he stormed back into the lounge. I was surprised, having expected Gavin to be glad to be rid of us.
“That’s great,” I told him with a small smile, trying not to let my broken heart show, then gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. “Now, let’s go, okay? It was a long day.”
Trevor nodded, then walked around to collect all the memorabilia he had gotten. When he was done, his hands and pockets full, he ran out the door.
“You should have told me he was going to be here,” my mom said. “Are you okay?”
I had no idea how to answer that question, so I shrugged.
“Let’s go home.”
It was the best idea my mom ever had.
Gavin
I woke up to the sound of something ringing way too close. My head pounded as I pulled my pillow over my head in the hopes of drowning out the disturbing noise.
It didn’t work.
I cursed and flung the pillow off the bed, turning toward the nightstand. The movement made my head hurt even more, my stomach roiling.
“Jesus,” I whispered.
“Not quite, but thank you,” Tyler said. I didn’t even remember picking up my phone.
“What do you want?” I asked, my throat dry. My eyes were still closed as I fought against the nausea, a fight I felt I was quickly going to lose.
“Where are you? It’s past nine. Training started already.”
Training? Today? What day is it?
“Gavin, are you there? Are you okay?”
“Screw off,” I growled, more mad at my body than my friend.
“What happened to you? We haven’t heard from you since Saturday.”
I tried to think of why that was, but forming even the easiest thought seemed like a hardship.
“Gavin, talk to me. Do you need me or Devon to come over?”
I shook my head, groaning at the movement.. “No, I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine at all. You’ve been MIA for two days.”
Two days. Does that mean it’s Monday? Or Tuesday?
God, my head hurt like a bitch. I didn’t even try to sit up again, though I knew I should get some water and aspirin.
“Okay, that’s it. I’ll be there in twenty.”
I didn’t even have the chance to protest before Tyler hung up. Great. Company. Just what I needed right now.
I tried to dial him back, but couldn’t even make out the buttons. I eventually gave up.
I must have fallen asleep again, because I woke to the sound of footsteps stomping across my floor, Tyler swearing softly as he nudged what sounded like glass bottles out of his way.
Damn him and his spare key.
“What the heck happened?” I heard my friend ask, but I didn’t answer. “Gavin... What did you throw yourself here? A party?”
I pried my eyes open a bit, barely able to make out the empty bottles on the floor. “None of your business,” I told him, cranky at the interruption. All I wanted to do was sleep. And have the nausea go away.
“The way you look, it is my business. You are missing practice because you got drunk. Alone. Why?”
I wracked my brain for an answer, but the fog in my mind was still too thick to make out anything at all.
I faintly saw Tyler throw up his hands. “Perfect. You don’t even remember. Not only did I just lie to Coach for you, but you can’t even tell me why you got trashed in the first place.”
“Go away.” It wasn’t the most sophisticated response, but was all I could come up with. I wanted him to leave me alone so I could wallow in self-pity. Not that I remembered why.
“Okay, this is pathetic.”
I agreed. I thought I heard Tyler leave the room and come back, but I couldn’t be sure. Did I drift off to sleep in between again?
“Take this,” Tyler ordered, pushing a couple pills into my hand, along with a glass of water. “Now.” I slowly complied, praying he wasn’t poisoning me. “Finish the whole glass.”
I did.
“Good. Now, let’s get you up. I already put on the coffee. That should chase away whatever drunken ghosts you’re still carrying around.”
Ghosts?
Betty.
Betty is real.
Trevor.
Trevor was my son.
I have a son.
I sat up so quickly, Tyler took a step back in surprise. My body recoiled at the sudden movement. Before I knew it, I made a mad dash for the bathroom.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”
“Screw you,” I groaned.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me something new.“
I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet...several times.
“Are you done?” Tyler asked.
Instead of answering, I slowly got up and turned toward the sink. The cold water felt good against my heated skin, and I spent a few minutes letting it drip down my face.
“Maybe a shower would be better,” Tyler suggested.
“You’re not my mother,” I replied, but the idea was tempting.
“No, thank God. But right now, you seem to need someone to tell you what to do. So shower. Now. Then you’ll come out, get dressed and we’ll sit down so you can tell me what has gotten into you.”
I didn’t like the prospect, but knew telling Tyler as much would just fall on deaf ears. After he closed the bathroom door behind him, I got undressed and stepped into the shower. The water did help slightly in making me feel a little more human, and my stomach—now empty—also didn’t rebel at every movement anymore.
Ten minutes later, I stepped out, dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants I found in the pile of dirty laundry on the bathroom floor. I didn’t think Tyler cared about my outfit at this point.
“Well, I have to say, the look has definitely improved.”
I showed him my middle finger as I walked toward the table.
“Maybe not. Coffee?” he asked. I nodded. Surprisingly, the thought of drinking the dark liquid didn’t make me want to throw up. Quite the contrary. I craved it.
I sat down heavily, then Tyler joined me, steaming cups in hand. He sat, his piercing glare on me. “You know I’m not gonna leave until you tell me what is going on, right?”
“One can hope.” I felt my voice gaining strength.
“True enough, but you look too shitty for me to let this one go. You’ve barely managed to convince the manage
ment you belong on the team, but now you’re skipping practice because you drank yourself stupid. Not very classic and not very you. So what happened? Devon and I called you Saturday and Sunday, but you didn’t answer.”
“I needed a break.”
“A break? Seriously? That’s the most bullshit excuse I have ever heard.” Tyler sighed. “I talked to Linda.”
Great.
“She told me about your special guest in one of our private lounges. The small boy you saw at the signing.”
“What about him?” I asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as I felt. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about the mess I currently found myself in.
“Not him.” He paused. “His mom. I saw her, remember? I was right next to you when she stepped up to him.”
I sighed as I got up and walked over to the window. I pulled it open with a little more force than necessary, welcoming the rather chilly breeze.
“Gavin, did you go up and talk to Betty after the game?” The way his voice sounded almost bored made it clear it was more a rhetorical question than anything else.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Don’t ask what happened after the game that made you get drunk and not get up for a day and a half? Fat chance. Plus, I have my own little theory. Wanna hear it?”
We heard a key being inserted into the doorknob, the door opening three seconds later.
“Am I late to the party?” Devon sauntered in like he owned the place. There was a lazy smile on his face, which was the last thing I wanted to see at this point.
“Jesus.”
“Nah, but close enough,” Devon replied, sitting next to Tyler and looking at him. “So, how far did you get in your inquisition?”
Tyler shrugged. “He wants to pretend the past two days didn’t happen.”
“Makes sense. Did you tell him we know all about it anyway?” Tyler nodded.
“I’m still here, you know? You don’t have to talk as if I’m not,” I growled.
“Well, you’re not telling us what we want to know, so we need to make conversation on our own.”
“What do you want to hear? That I have a son I didn’t know anything about? That Betty lied to me about why she left me all those years ago? That she thought I would leave her the moment she told me she was pregnant?” I stared at them, eyes narrowed, daring them to say anything. My blood boiled, having gotten there within a few seconds.
“Gavin, man, we’re sorry.” Tyler’s voice was subdued.
“Sorry won't make this any better.”
Both had the decency to look away sheepishly. It didn’t matter. They’d opened Pandora’s box now.
“It sucks. There’s no better way to say it. But... Do you think you would’ve given up everything for her back then?” Devon asked, his voice cautious. He knew me well enough to know a wrong word might end with a fist in his face. I wasn’t a violent person most days, but certain things drove me over the edge.
This was one of them.
“I never had the option, did I?” I hissed, then turned back toward the window. I didn’t want to look at either one of them.
The silence hung in the air. I wished they would just leave. My pounding headache was a constant reminder of the moment I had tried to forget what Betty did. What she hid from me.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work.
“You need to talk to her. I mean, I have no idea how you guys parted, but given the way I found you today, I would say this issue is still unresolved.”
“How do you expect me to resolve it? Just forgive her for lying to me about having my child?” I glared at Tyler. To his credit, he didn’t back down.
“No. I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t do that. At least not right away. But you had your moment, your pity party. You need to face reality now. So, the true question is what are you going to do?”
I wished he would just stay quiet. Frankly, I had no idea what I wanted or needed to do.
“You need to talk to her. You need to let her tell you everything. I have a feeling you walked off before she could.”
“She betrayed me,” I whispered, the anger having given way to the hurt and pain this revelation had brought.
“And I’m not trying to belittle that.”
“Then what are you trying to do?” I asked Devon.
“I’m trying to get you to move your ass. You missed practice, something I don’t think management will overlook, and you are still hungover. Sleep it off a little more, but by tonight, I expect you to have settled your shit, okay? Whichever way that may be.”
I stared at him. “Who are you? My mom?”
“You clearly need someone to be tough with you, and since Tyler is way too chicken for it, it’s my turn.” I saw Tyler look slightly taken aback, but then he shrugged, as if agreeing.
“You’re crazy. Both of you.”
“And you have issues to deal with. Lots of issues. So go back to bed, sleep a bit longer, then start the day anew and deal with all those issues. Otherwise, your focus will be shot and you can kiss your spot on the team goodbye.”
I hated him for speaking the truth. Missing practice was bad. Really bad. While Coach may overlook that, I didn’t think management would take this as lightly as I wished they would, especially after everything they expected of me.
“All right. Nice talking to you. We’ll be leaving now. After all, we need to get back to practice.”
Before I could ask them how they were able to leave practice in the first place, the door closed behind them.
Leaving me all alone with my mistakes and decisions, not even having the slightest idea where to start.
Betty
I spent the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday in hiding. I told Trevor I wasn’t feeling well, but my mom didn’t believe it. She wasn’t as easily convinced of the overwhelming headache I pretended to have.
She also saw my red, puffy eyes. By Monday, she couldn’t hold in the questions anymore.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” she asked as we sat in the kitchen, looking out at the garden through the small window. Trevor and a few of the neighborhood kids played in the yard.
“And then what?”
“Betty, I am your mother. Back then, I didn’t ask any questions. I never believed you when you said it was some random stranger. That wasn’t you. But I never called you out on it. It seemed so important to you for me to believe the lie. But why? Why not tell me it was Gavin?”
“Would you have left me alone and not forced me to tell him?” She stayed quiet. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. You would’ve told me I needed to tell him. That it was his right to know. He had his whole career ahead of him. A career I would’ve destroyed. I regret the decision every day, but I still wouldn’t change a thing about it. I love Trevor and the person he has become, despite not having a father in his life.”
“I never said you did anything wrong with Trevor. I just think you should’ve given his father a choice. Gavin never struck me as the kind of guy to leave a woman hanging in a situation like this.”
“And that’s exactly the problem. He would’ve given up everything for me. His life, his career... All those plans he made would’ve gone down the drain. I didn’t want that.”
“You still love him.”
I had no idea where the statement came from and it took me a moment to recover from it. Before I could comment, my mom continued.
“It wasn’t hard to tell when he called you out on Saturday. Something also tells me it wasn’t the first time you saw him since you moved here. The chemistry you had back then is still there.”
“You concluded that from him cursing at me? When he told me it was my fault? I know you heard us.”
“He was hurt. You don’t get hurt the way Gavin seemed to be by someone who doesn’t mean anything and whom you haven’t seen or spoken to in six years. It was like watching you guys all those years ago. As if the time in between didn’t happen and you still love each other with the same in
tensity.”
I was too shocked by her explanation to form an answer.
“You need to talk to him again. Explain why you did what you did. Tell him everything you weren’t able to all those years ago. People rarely get a second chance at love. Don’t let it go to waste.”
“It’s not that easy. I have Trevor to think of.”
“And you don’t think Trevor would be okay? He’s five now, a complete soccer nerd. I get why you want to keep him safe, but he finally has the chance to get to know his father. Don’t deny him that if it’s what he—and Gavin—want.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that easy. He—”
When I heard Trevor yelling, I jumped up, every motherly instinct kicking in, and glanced out of the window.
I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped my lips. Gavin stood next to Trevor, both of them smiling. He held a soccer ball in his hand and handed it to Trevor. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I saw enough to know the pure joy he felt at seeing Gavin.
“There’s no time like the present,” my mom said, then got up and walked outside. I watched her greet Gavin, this time with a kiss on his cheek. He let it happen, even gave her a smile. As if sensing me at the window, his gaze found mine.
I expected anger, frustration, anything, but I saw only softness around the edges of his eyes. With a deep breath, I followed my mom outside. She had managed to get Trevor away from Gavin—probably with a fight—and I watched my son talk excitedly with the other kids about the gift he just received. My mom watched from the sidelines, giving us whatever privacy we needed.
“Hey,” I said to Gavin as I approached him still standing near the street. He hadn’t made a move to get closer to our house.
“Hi.”
I swallowed. “Would you like to come inside?”
