About Tomorrow...

by Abbi Glines

  He grinned and handed me the clothing. “If I undress you, I won’t be interested in putting clothing back on you and you’re tired. Better let you dress yourself.”

  I almost told him I wasn’t too tired for sex but I didn’t. Something about Creed being in the other room made me feel strange. Creed had been my first and my only other sexual partner. I didn’t want to think about why it made me feel wrong. I just wanted to forget Creed and go back to sleep.

  October 26, 2019

  Boston Massachusetts

  I hadn’t expected to wake to an empty bed this morning. It was Saturday and Griff didn’t have any classes. After stretching and giving myself adequate time to get fully awake, I made the sprint from the bed to the chair to get the robe and fuzzy socks. Today would be a good day to buy him that area rug for this room. The floors were already freezing.

  The living room was quiet but it wasn’t empty. Griff was sitting on the sofa with a large book in his lap, his glasses on, and a highlighter in his right hand. He was so engrossed in what he was doing, he didn’t look up when I opened the bedroom door. Chet was sitting in the chair also reading from a large medical book with a notebook and a pen beside him. They were studying. Griff had said he was already sick of all the memorizing and reading he had to do. This was supposed to be the hardest year of medical school and for his sake I hoped it was.

  I didn’t speak for fear of interrupting something important. Instead I went to the kitchen to make coffee. While I was busy doing that, I heard another door open and I knew without looking who had joined us. Creed’s presence here made this uncomfortable. As much as I had missed Griff, I was looking forward to moving into Gran’s tomorrow. Staying here was difficult. Surely in time it would get easier.

  “Must be fascinating shit they’re reading,” Creed’s deep voice said as he entered the kitchen.

  I forced a smile and took my cup of coffee to move out of his way. I went to the table and sat down, wishing I could get closer to the fire but afraid to disturb them. I didn’t watch Creed but I was aware of his every move. That needed to stop. My body was reacting as if I was seventeen again.

  Ignoring it and him wasn’t going to change things. I had to rewire my brain where he was concerned. I turned to look at him then and he was standing in front of the refrigerator with it open. I already knew there wasn’t much food in there. Griff and Chet ordered out often. There was a list of their favorites with menus and phone numbers in the first drawer to the left of the fridge.

  “I don’t think they buy food. Just coffee supplies,” I whispered.

  He glanced at me then back at them. “Appears so,” he replied, not whispering as he closed the door. “Guess I’ll go find food. Want to come?”

  I hadn’t been expecting that question. It was polite. If I was rewiring my brain to stop remembering who Creed once was to me and seeing him only as Griff’s roommate then I should go. It seemed normal enough. No big deal that I’d had sex with Creed before or that I loved him once. Shouldn’t matter that it took me until Griff to get over the pain of losing him.

  I shook my head. “No, that’s okay. I’d have to get dressed and I’m not awake enough for that or the freezing temps out there.”

  He shrugged. “Fine but you’re going to need to toughen up. Portsmouth is fucking cold in the winter.”

  Words felt lodged in my throat. Me remembering was one thing. My quietly acknowledging our past was easier than hearing him speak of Portsmouth. The place where all our history together existed. The sooner I left this apartment and moved north the better.

  Creed seemed oblivious to my inner turmoil. He walked over to the coat rack and grabbed his coat then slipped on some boots.

  “Can I get anyone something to eat or does everyone just require ketchup and cheese to survive?” Creed asked.

  Griff glanced up then from his book. His gaze went to me. “Hey, babe, you’re awake.”

  I smiled at him. He could completely zone out when he was studying.

  “Where are you going?” Chet asked. “The Bagel Hut two blocks over has wicked avocado stuffed bagels.”

  “Anyone else?” Creed asked.

  “Sailor? You want something? There’s a menu for The Bagel Hut in the drawer,” Griff said. “I’d like BCT bagel,” he then told Creed.

  Creed looked back at me. “I want some decent coffee. Can you go with me and help me carry all this shit?” He didn’t mind spending time with me. It was so easy for him. I didn’t affect him at all and that was good…but it hurt. I hated that it hurt. I didn’t need to affect him. He lived with my boyfriend who I loved. It was best that he was unaffected.

  I couldn’t say no. I stood up. “Give me a sec to change and grab my coat,” I replied.

  Creed nodded and I hurried to put on my jeans, sweater, coat, gloves and scarf. While doing so, I gave myself a pep talk. I could do this. No big deal. Getting used to being around Creed was required. Six years, Sailor. It’s been six years. You’re different now. Taking a deep breath, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I could do this.

  Griff looked up from his book again when I walked out of the bedroom. “My cash is in the top drawer in there,” he told me.

  “I have my debit card in my pocket. I’ll get it,” I replied then walked over to him and bent down to kiss him. His hand touched my face gently.

  “I promise this afternoon we will go do touristy things,” he said as I stood back up.

  “Okay,” I said with a smile. Then made my way over to the door where Creed stood waiting. Watching me. His expression was one I couldn’t decipher.

  “Are you warm enough?” he asked me then and an amused smile touched his lips.

  “Hopefully,” I replied.

  He opened the door then and motioned for me to go first. We walked in silence for a few minutes. It was starting to get awkward but maybe just for me.

  “How long have you been with Griff?” he asked.

  “We met second semester our freshman year at Vanderbilt,” I told him.

  “How did you meet?” he asked me then.

  Smiling at the memory, I replied, “I walked into the wrong dorm room on my way to a study group. Griff was on the phone lying on his bed. I had been so embarrassed but he’d ended his call and we had ended up going out for coffee. I never made it to my study group.”

  “Sounds like you,” he said simply.

  I stopped smiling. His comment wasn’t meant to upset me. I knew that. But it did. If he didn’t want to remember and he wanted to keep things in the past then he needed to not reply as if he had that kind of knowledge. He didn’t know me. Not really. Not anymore. That girl was no longer.

  The Bagel Hut had a line out the door. “Figures,” he muttered.

  Most of the good places to eat had lines. I glanced around and saw no other option with a shorter line. Maybe it would move quickly.

  “Will you freeze?” he asked me.

  “Possibly,” I replied.

  He chuckled and one of the girls in front of us glanced over her shoulder, got a good look at Creed then nudged her friend, whispered in her ear and the other girl glanced back at him. Creed, however, wasn’t paying attention. He had crossed his arms over his chest and was leaning back against the building watching the activity on the street with a bored expression.

  I understood why they were looking at him. I looked away. Appreciating the view was off-limits for me. He wasn’t a stranger on the street. The past made me feel guilty for looking.

  “Is your mother still crazy?” he asked me then.

  I nodded. Creed knew more about my mother than Griff. I’d wanted to start over when I went to college. When I’d met Griff, I kept most of my sordid family life from him. I wanted to forget it, so I never spoke of it.

  “Sorry to hear about your Gran,” he said. His mother had come to the funeral. I’d mentally
prepared myself to face him again but he’d not come. The blow hadn’t been as hard because Griff had been by my side. Part of me was relieved he hadn’t come to the funeral.

  “It was sudden. As hard as that was I’m thankful she didn’t suffer,” I told him. That had been how I had dealt with losing her. Reminding myself that although I hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye at least she didn’t suffer from a terrible disease that killed her slowly. “She was asleep. It was peaceful.”

  He studied me a moment and I felt self-conscious having his focus on me. The line moved and we moved up with it. One of the girls did another glance back at Creed then me before turning around. I was sure she was trying to figure us out. We didn’t look like a couple. There was too much space between us for starters. If he were Griff, I’d be snuggled up to his side.

  “When was the last time you were there?” he asked.

  “To see Gran or in Portsmouth?”

  “Both,” he clarified.

  “I saw Gran three months before she passed away. She came to Nashville for Christmas. The last time I was in Portsmouth was for the funeral.”

  “I was there last month. My mom decided to move back. She and her husband, Chet’s uncle, bought a house on Dearborn,” he told me even though I hadn’t asked. The line moved again.

  His parents had divorced and moved from their home beside Gran about six months after Cora’s death. Although I hadn’t come back to Portsmouth that next summer, I knew they’d moved that winter. Gran had told me. Before Cora’s death, our plan for that summer had been for the three of us to hike the Appalachian trail. Not the entire thing but start in Maine and go as far as we could before we all went to college that fall. I’d forgotten that until now.

  “Where did y’all move after…” I couldn’t finish the question. I glanced up at him, wishing I hadn’t asked that or mentioned it.

  “My dad moved to Simsbury, Connecticut. Mom moved to Burlington, Vermont, to live near her mother,” he replied but said nothing more. There were so many things I could ask him but I didn’t. I didn’t need to know about his life. He was no longer a part of mine. We would rarely see each other after I left tomorrow. I didn’t need to know which parent he lived with after the divorce.

  When the line moved again, we were finally inside the warmth of the Bagel Hut. I sighed from the pleasure of it. A small grin lifted the corners of Creed’s mouth. The girls in front of us both turned around this time. The blonde was smiling at Creed, but the other girl’s focus was on me. They must have listened to us enough to know we weren’t a couple and were ready to make their move on Creed.

  “Excuse me but I need to know,” the brunette asked, looking directly at me. “Are you Sailor Copeland?” she asked. The other girl was looking at me now too.

  This wasn’t new. I was used to this, in Nashville. It had never happened in New England. I’d loved that about coming here in the summers. I opened my mouth to respond, but Creed spoke first.

  “Who?” he asked.

  The brunette looked more unsure now than she had before. She studied me again then glanced at him. “Sailor Copeland. Denver Copeland’s daughter,” she said, and I saw a couple people turn to look at us. Crap.

  “Whose Denver Copeland?” Creed asked.

  The girl looked at him like he was crazy. “The country singer, CMA entertainer of the year, several times over,” she said the words like he should know this.

  He laughed loudly then and nudged my arm. “Does your pops sing, Nyx?” he asked me.

  I wasn’t used to denying who I was. Not because I wanted attention but because I was a terrible liar. However, a few of the other people who had turned to look at us had turned away now. Creed was a much better liar than me.

  I shook my head but didn’t say anything for fear I’d mess up this ruse.

  “Last I checked her pops sat at a desk all day balancing books,” he told the girl then flashed a smile that I was sure could melt any female in a hundred-mile radius. She turned her attention to him then and gave him a seductive smile.

  “I’m Sierra,” she told him.

  “Dan,” he replied with a nod. The line moved then and it was their turn. “Better order up,” he told her then winked.

  He had her so flustered she forgot her order and her friend kept giggling. I shot him a grateful smile and waited for them to get their order in so we could finally make ours. Before they moved out of the way the blonde turned around and handed “Dan” a napkin. “Call me,” she said then licked her lips before walking over to the pickup window. The extra sway to her hips as she walked was slightly over the top.

  Creed ordered for everyone but me and I added my request for an avocado with over easy egg bagel. He pulled out a card to pay and I handed him my debit card. He shook his head. “I got this.”

  Frowning, I put my card away but didn’t like him paying for everyone’s meal. “I’ll pay you back for ours at the apartment. I don’t have cash on me right now.”

  He didn’t respond and when we moved over to the pickup window, the girls had already gotten their food and had to move out of the cramped area. Creed took his cup and went to get some of their coffee. I doubted theirs was any better than the coffee at the apartment. I didn’t say anything though. Standing in line at a coffee house was the last thing I wanted to do.

  On our walk back to the apartment, Creed was quiet. He didn’t mention the girls or his covering up my identity. The silence no longer felt awkward. It was comfortable. I welcomed it. We had talked enough. When we arrived at the house their apartment was in, he opened the door for me to go inside.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “Here, take these,” he replied, handing me the bag.

  I took the bag and he reached inside to take out his bagel. Once he had his, he said “Later.” Then let the door close before he walked away. That was odd.

  I took the food up to the hungry med students and tried to think about anything other than my conversation with Creed.

  Four

  The movers had called right before lunch to tell me that the moving van had mechanical issues. They were going to unload it and move everything to another moving van. This was going to put them two days behind schedule. Once Griff knew he had more time with me in Boston, he spent three more hours on his studying.

  Instead of staying in the apartment, I went and bought groceries, made lunch for both Griff and Chet then went shopping for a rug. After finding the perfect area rug for Griff’s bedroom, I went back to the apartment to find Griff was in the bathroom. Chet had said he was getting a shower and we were all going to Red’s tonight to hear Creed play.

  Creed was trying out with a band tonight that played at several of the local college bars. He hadn’t come back to the apartment all day, at least while I was there. Going to see him play wasn’t what I wanted to do. However, it was rude to tell Griff I didn’t want to go. I thought about faking a headache.

  “Thanks for the food,” Chet called out from the kitchen.

  “You’re welcome. Thanks for letting me stay a couple extra days,” I replied.

  “Hell, if you want to stay and buy the groceries and cook I am good with that,” he said.

  Griff walked back into the apartment then with damp hair and a freshly shaven face. I sighed in appreciation. He was so nice to look at and he was mine. He gave me a wicked grin. “Keep looking at me like that and we won’t get real far,” he teased.

  Chet laughed and walked out of the kitchen with a sandwich and a bag of chips in his hands. “At least let me get to my bedroom first.”

  Griff saw the food in his hands. “She has us set up I see,” he said then smiled back at me.

  “Hold on tight to her pretty boy because I’m in love,” Chet replied.

  “You’re going to need to get over it. She’s taken,” Griff said.

  Chet made an exaggerated pout
. “How will I go on?”

  A knock at the door interrupted his teasing. Griff turned around and opened it. A scantily dressed blonde beamed at him. “Hiya, I’m looking for Creed. Tell him Jazz is here,” she said.

  Jazz? Was she serious? Who had a name like Jazz?

  “Uh, he’s not here,” Griff replied then looked back at Chet.

  Chet walked over to the door and Griff moved away then turned and came toward me.

  “He expecting you?” Chet asked then finished chewing the large bite of sandwich in his mouth.

  “Yes. We are going to the gig together,” she said then added, “I’m the lead singer in Kranx.”

  “Ah, okay, well come in and he should be here soon I guess. You might want to text him. Haven’t heard from him in a while,” Chet told her.

  “Thanks but I can’t. I’ve got to get going. I’ll call him,” she said then spun around on her red heels and walked away.

  Chet closed the door and then turned back toward us. “Jazz seems high maintenance,” he said and rolled his eyes.

  Griff chuckled and kissed my head. “I’m going to go get changed.”

  I probably needed to change too.

  “You might want to eat something before we go tonight. Red’s isn’t known for their menu. It has colon cancer stamped all over it,” Chet told me then took a bite of the banana in his hand.

  “Colon cancer?” I asked confused.

  He shrugged. “You know fried greasy shit.”

  “Oh!” I replied.

  He grinned. “I sound like a doc already,” he replied looking smug.

  The door to the apartment opened then and Creed came walking inside. Fighting not to look his way was difficult. He was hard to ignore.

  “Jazz came by, you weren’t here, she left,” Chet told him then sank down onto the sofa.

  Creed nodded but his attention was on the banana Chet was eating. “Where did you get a banana?” he asked.