About Tomorrow...

by Abbi Glines

  “Let me make some coffee and get the stove burning then we can talk,” Creed said, as if he could read my mind.

  I managed to nod my head.

  “Sailor,” Creed said, as he closed the distance between us.

  I slowly raised my eyes from the floor to meet his.

  He reached out and cupped my face with his hand. “Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking. Go get clothes on because if you don’t I’m going to bend you over the sofa and fuck you so that I can see your sexy ass bounce.”

  I gasped and my face heated then the space between my legs tingled. Oh, god I was a horny cheating slut.

  “When you’re clothed, we will talk,” he said then bent down and kissed the tip of my nose. “Please go get clothes on. I’m only so strong.”

  I don’t know if I was more worried about him doing what he threatened or the fact I was excited about what he had threatened to do that sent me hurrying up the stairs.

  Once I was safely in my room, I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine then headed to my closet for leggings with the warm lining and a sweatshirt. Feeling safely dressed and trying hard not to think about being bent over the sofa by Creed, I took several deep steadying breaths.

  Creed was in the kitchen when I returned, and I refused to even look in the living room. The damn sofa was in there. The place of my treachery.

  I walked into the kitchen and Creed handed me a cup of coffee. I muttered a thank you, unable to make eye contact with images of him bending me over the sofa still fresh in my head.

  “I’m not going to say I’m sorry. Nothing about last night do I regret,” he said, walking over to sit down at the table, leaving me the spot closest to the fire.

  I took a drink of my coffee and paused realizing it was exactly the way I drank it. I looked up at him then and he shrugged. “I told you I know you. I pay attention to you. I always have.”

  Not always. I caught myself from blurting that out. There had to be a better way to talk about this other than me shouting all the wrongs he’d done to me. He had shut me out after Cora’s death. I just didn’t know how to say it. How did I bring up the worst day of our lives?

  I sat down and put my cup on the table. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. It needed to happen, but right now, there was Griff.

  “I’m a cheater,” I said simply. That was the biggest issue I was dealing with currently.

  He didn’t respond right away. I wasn’t sure he was going to. What was he supposed to say anyway “yeah you are” or “shit happens”?

  “I love him,” I added for my benefit because I did. I needed reminding.

  “He was there for you when you needed someone. Of course, you love him. But are you in love with him?”

  I opened my mouth to say “YES” but it didn’t come out. Was I in love with him? Could I have so willingly had wild hot sex with another man if I was in love with him? Or was I just lonely and Creed was here to fill the need. I looked at Creed and the emotion in my chest that always came with him was there. It was more than needing sex. Could I love two men at once?

  “You’ll tell him. You won’t be able to live with yourself if you don’t. Just be sure what you want from him when you do.”

  What did that mean? “I want him not to hate me,” I said, already knowing what I wanted.

  He nodded once. “And that’s your answer.”

  Frowning, I slammed my fist on the table a little too dramatically. “What is my answer? You’re just confusing me.”

  “You want him not to hate you. If you were in love, you would want him to forgive you.”

  “Of course I want him to forgive me! That’s what I meant,” I shot back frustrated.

  Creed raised an eyebrow. “Is it?”

  “Stop,” I said forcefully, standing up and walking away from the table. I needed space because I was close to hitting him.

  I heard the legs of his chair scrap across the floor and his footsteps as he walked toward me. I stood at the kitchen sink staring straight out the window. I didn’t want to believe that I wasn’t in love with Griff. I hated the idea.

  Creed’s hands rested on either side of the sink caging me in. His chest was against my back and he was warm. My body wanted to melt against him, but my brain was currently calling the shots.

  “I didn’t want to want you. When I saw you in that apartment, I didn’t want to feel anything. It was easier to forget the past because with it was the memory of Cora,” he said her name with obvious pain. “But seeing you again only proved what I already knew. I could run from you, but you owned me and there was not a fucking thing I could do to make that go away.”

  I closed my eyes and wished his words didn’t affect me. Right now, I was supposed to be thinking of my feelings for Griff. How to tell him and not lose him.

  Creed ran the back of his hand down my arm then slid his arm around the front of my thigh until his fingers brushed the spot just between my legs. “I will never get enough of you, Sailor. Ever.”

  He began rubbing me then just hard enough for me to tremble with need. His erection pressed against my lower back and I let my head fall back on his chest. Creed slid his other hand under my sweatshirt until he was cupping my bare breast. I made a sound and I felt his breathing grow heavier. “I was wrong,” he said in a thick voice. “Clothes didn’t help. I need to fuck you now.”

  My leggings were pulled down with a hard tug and my panties went with them.

  “Put your hands on the sink.” It sounded like a command and that only ignited my hunger for him.

  I heard his jeans unzip then his hands grabbed my waist. “Spread your legs and stick that ass out.”

  I did as told and he slammed into me so hard my knees gave way, but I held onto the sink for support.

  “You make me crazy, Sailor,” he said as he pumped into me. “I already fucking love you. I didn’t need to see your tits jiggling braless under your shirt or have you bent over in front of me so your perfect ass was displayed. All I could think about was getting inside you.” He was panting as he spoke. His breathing as ragged as mine.

  His hand landed hard on my left butt cheek and I cried out.

  “That’s for making me want you so bad,” he said, then began to caress the spot he had slapped. Much like he had licked where he bit me last night.

  Being spanked was more exciting that I had imagined, and I wiggled in hopes he’d do it again. He did and this time, he squeezed the spot he slapped. “Keep that up and I’m going to bury my face in that ass.”

  That was not a threat, but I think he knew that. My orgasm began to build, and I wanted it. I wanted it so badly that nothing else mattered. Creed was inside me, giving me immense pleasure. He was all I cared about, or was I all I cared about? Was I completely selfish? Yes, I was.

  His hand slid down and began to play with my clit as he pressed harder into me. “I love this pussy,” he said in my ear then bit the lobe.

  The sharp bite to the soft flesh combined with his finger rubbing me sent me over the edge of the cliff. I screamed his name and gripped the sink hard.

  “FUCK!” Creed shouted, and his body went rigid behind me.

  I felt another tremor race through me and my knees almost completely gave out when his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me against him. We stood there like that as our breathing returned to normal.

  I stared outside and accepted the fact I wasn’t going to be able to stop this. Creed Sullivan was worse than any drug. Twice and I was addicted.

  twenty

  November 14, 2019

  Griff hadn’t responded to my text or the two voice messages I had left him. I needed to see him. We had to talk, and it wasn’t a conversation that should be done on the phone. However, he was making it difficult to see him. I stared down at my phone in frustration then sent one more text telling him I wanted to
come see him this weekend. Maybe then he’d get back to me.

  I put the phone on the small table by the tub and laid my head back to relax. I’d decided a hot bubble bath would warm me up better than a fire when I got home from work. It was doing the trick, but the fact was I would have a cold house when I got out of the tub. I shivered thinking about it.

  Creed had soaped me up in the shower this morning then thoroughly screwed me before leaving for work. He’d texted me twice today to tell me he missed me. I felt the smile on my lips as I thought about just how good this morning had been. If my body wasn’t so obsessed with the way Creed made it feel, this would be harder. The looming fact that this was going to hurt Griff was clouding everything. Well, not in the moment I was screaming Creed’s name but when I wasn’t being sexually satisfied.

  I was accepting the fact I was in love with two men. Loving Griff hadn’t made me stop loving Creed. It had made it easier to live without Creed.

  I heard the door downstairs open and close. I waited listening for steps on the stairs and then watched the doorway for Creed. He filled the entryway and his arms were full of wood.

  “I’ll get a fire going in your room,” he told me then let his gaze fall to my naked breasts just above the water. “Let me dry you off,” he added, then turned to go light the fire.

  How did he do that? One look and my vagina was tingling. I would get frustrated with myself if it weren’t for the fact I knew how good he was about to make me feel. I touched the area between my legs and winced at how tender it was. This morning in the shower had been the most intense hard sex we have had so far.

  Creed walked into the bathroom again and picked up a towel. “Come here,” he said.

  When he was like this, I always obeyed. I couldn’t stop myself. Standing up, I let the bubbles and water slide down my body while he watched before stepping out.

  “You’re about to get fucked wet,” he threatened.

  Smiling, I held up my hands and he wrapped the towel around me. “How was your day?” he asked as he pulled me against him.

  “Great. I had three visitors that asked questions about the exhibit. Then I got to peek at the new stuff that arrived.”

  He held me in his arms keeping me warm. “Are you sore?” he asked me, sliding a hand between my legs.

  I winced when he touched me and he grinned. “I’ll kiss it and make it better,” he told me and immediately went down on his knees in front of me. “Open.”

  I stared down at him, my mouth slightly open in a mix of awe and anticipation. His eyes lifted to meet mine then he pressed a kiss to my inner thigh, before placing his hands on both my thighs and leaning in to begin teasing me with such erotic pleasure I struggled to keep standing.

  Sometime after eleven, the text alert on my phone woke me up and I opened my eyes. I was naked and pressed up against Creed’s naked body with his arm around me. Trying not to wake him, I reached for my phone already knowing who it was. Guilt and dread filled me as I read the text from Griff.

  “Sorry long two days. Turned in my paper and aced an important exam. Not sure if you coming this weekend is a good idea. I will be swamped with memorizing shit for Gross Anatomy. Let’s plan for the middle of the week next week. Either I will come there or you come here. I will make it work. Love you. Talk soon.”

  I didn’t feel sad this time. Normally when he put me off or said he couldn’t come, I was sad. That emotion was gone. Sleeping with Creed wasn’t justified and I knew that, but it was time to end it with Griff. He was never getting here and he was never going to let me come there. It would be Christmas before we saw each other.

  This wasn’t fair to Griff. I had only been in New England for three weeks and maybe if I’d given Griff more time, he would have figured a way to come see me. But if I was being honest with myself, Griff had been too busy for me since his classes had started. When I was in Nashville, he had called more at first but with each week he got deeper into this semester, I heard less from him. If we were meant to be, wouldn’t he miss me as much as I had missed him?

  I put my phone back and turned to look at Creed. His lashes fanned his cheekbones and his lips reminded me of all the wonderful things they could do. I wanted to kiss them until he woke up and rolled me on my back and entered me again. I didn’t though. He needed sleep. Snuggling back into the bed, I closed my eyes and tried not to think about anything more than the man holding me.

  November 15, 2019

  When I woke the next morning, I was alone but a fire was blazing in the bedroom fireplace. I glanced at the time on my phone and it was after eight. Creed had a meeting at eight this morning in town on decisions about the lighthouse. The fire was going to need me to poke it soon, so I stretched and got out of bed to go tend to it and head downstairs to check on the other fires.

  Stopping at the fireplace, my eyes went to the pictures I’d put there. The one with me and Griff smiling on our ski trip to Colorado last winter stared at me. I walked over and took it down. I couldn’t deal with seeing this right now. Taking the photo, I walked over to the shelves where I had another picture of Griff and I in our cap and gowns. I picked it up too and placed both in the hallway closet. Turning, I headed to the kitchen.

  Once I had coffee I sat down in the living room chair and read the text from Griff again. If I waited until I saw him in person, we may not be broken up for a month. He kept promising he’d come see me or I could come see him but that had yet to happen. His promises had little weight these days.

  It was time I did this, dealt with the pain it was going to cause, and moved on. I couldn’t see how Griff would be able to forgive me. At first that was my only concern. Keeping Griff and the relationship we had wasn’t my desire anymore. I did love Griff. He had helped me heal in a way he would never understand, but since he moved to Boston, we hadn’t been the same.

  I was holding onto how we once were, not how we were now. I wanted to be important to him and if he hadn’t changed so much then maybe we would still be that strong. Medical school was the most important thing in his life and I respected that. I just couldn’t continue the growing apart. Every day that went by and he had less time for us…for me, I felt more disconnected. The man that had loved me so much was different. He had a life I wasn’t a part of and this was only the semester of his first year in med school. I didn’t see how we could survive this. It didn’t excuse what I did. Forgiving myself wasn’t going to come easy or soon, but I couldn’t keep holding onto a man who I didn’t love enough.

  Truth was I had always wanted Creed, but I’d forgotten just how strongly I felt about him until he was back in my life. No matter what pain it caused Griff, I couldn’t let Creed go. I was in love with him and being with him again had shown me that he was right. I loved Griff, but I wasn’t in love with Griff. That place in my heart had been owned by Creed since I was too young to be sure when it happened.

  I would text Griff one more time about the importance of him calling me. If I couldn’t have this conversation with him in person then I was at least going to do it on a call and not a text message.

  “Please, Griff, I need to talk to you today. Call me as soon as you have a moment.”

  Griff was busy, but he would make time for me if it sounded urgent. At least he once would…these days, I was never sure.

  Twenty-one

  Clarks’ parking lot was packed for a freezing November night. Smoke was rising from the chimney as we made our way to the front door. Creed let go of my hand to open the door and wave me inside. We were greeted by Lulu, and like the last time, she ate Creed up with her eyes. Unlike last time, I felt the need to glare at her in warning.

  “Hiya, Creed. Want your regular table?” she asked in a sing-song voice I assumed she thought was cute. It wasn’t.

  He placed his hand on my lower back and leaned into me. “You want near the fire?” he asked me then kissed my temple. My annoyance at
Lulu’s flirting vanished. In its place was the warm rush from Creed’s open display of affection.

  “Yes, please,” I said, smiling up at him.

  He glanced at the hostess. “Close to the fire,” he told her.

  Lulu’s flirty grin was gone as she turned to head in that direction. We followed her and I was doing my best not to smile brightly. I loved being with Creed, but in the back of my head was still the fact Griff hadn’t called me back and I needed to tell him the truth. Not just about my being with Creed but about my past with Creed. I’d been in counseling when Griff and I met and he always assumed it was because of my mother. He needed to know the truth.

  “Creed Sullivan and Sailor Copeland on a Friday night again.” Fleur’s voice carried over the music.

  I stopped and turned to look at her, instead of sliding into the booth Lulu had brought us to. She was still very pregnant and appearing glamorous despite it. I hoped I pulled off pregnancy the way she did one day. The idea of me being pregnant unleashed a myriad of images in my head. I always wanted to be a mother and a wife, but those desires came after my time with Creed. Thinking of them now with Creed beside me made me ache for things I didn’t deserve but desperately wanted.

  Creed’s hand was still on my back, and Fleur’s gaze took that in as her smile grew into a knowing one. “Well, well, that didn’t take long at all,” she added and winked at me.

  “Fleur,” Creed said with a nod.

  “You still have the magic it would seem,” she said and shook her head as she grinned. “But then you two were bound to be together. Always were.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond to that and the assumption we were together. We were together, but I was also not broken up with my boyfriend. Creed and I hadn’t sat down and discussed what it was we were doing either. Other than the obvious, which was having amazing sex and sleeping in the same bed.

  “Jessie,” Fleur called out to a male server at the table nearest to ours. “Get these two whatever they want. They’re my friends,” she added with emphasis. Then she turned back to us. “I’ll be back to chat soon. Right now, we have a new line cook in the kitchen and Josh is about to kill him if he messes up again. I need to go run interference.”