Language Lessons

by Jay Bell

  “That doesn’t sound hard. So basically I just need to play the gentleman and listen to him talk.”

  “Well, no. Believe it or not, women do get tired of hearing their own voices. I mean, a girl has to eat sometime. That’s when you need to be entertaining. Talk about yourself but not too much. Anything impressive you can think of, but for god’s sake, don’t start telling him your sexual history. Throw in some compliments but don’t go overboard. Read up on some current events in case you get nervous and there’s a lull in conversation. But always be sure to bring it back to him. What does he think of the food. What are his thoughts about the latest news story.”

  “Right,” Joey sighed, wishing he was taking notes. “So basically I just walk a thin line the whole night and hope I magically do it the right way.”

  Maggie batted her eyelashes. “You got it.”

  The pedicurist pointed a nail file at Joey. “If none of that works, just get him drunk. Then he’ll put out!”

  * * * * *

  Joey hopped out of his car when he saw Phillip coming out of his house and trotted around to the passenger door. He opened it, looking his date over as he neared. Phillip was wearing a pale grey dress shirt with jeans, but best of all was the charcoal tie. Joey could have ripped that tie off and kissed it, especially since it contrasted so well with the ivory tie he wore, set against a navy shirt and black slacks. There was a matching suit jacket, carefully folded and placed on the back seat, but Joey would leave it off for the night. He didn’t want Phillip to feel underdressed.

  “You look stunning,” Joey said as he held the door open.

  Phillip blushed, murmuring a thank you as he took the passenger seat and smiling as Joey carefully shut the door after him. The restaurant Joey had chosen was low key, not too fancy, because frankly he couldn’t afford it. He decided on Italian, figuring that even the pickiest eater could make peace with that cuisine. Despite the affordable price, the lighting was low and the booths private and comfortable.

  The waitress came and took their drink orders, both of them choosing cola. Joey couldn’t wait until he was old enough to order wine. He didn’t have a taste for it, but there was something sophisticated about the different vintages and the cork sniffing rituals.

  “Lois wasn’t happy with you,” Phillip said. “Or me, for that matter. I think she thought we knew each other, and we were having a joke at her expense.”

  Joey made a couple of logical leaps to find the conversation. “You mean the lady at the animal shelter? Yeah, not the best execution on my part. I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”

  “Not really. She just said that you should come to one of the orientation classes if you want to volunteer. You really should. I mean, if you want to.”

  Joey grinned. “I don’t suppose you teach them?”

  “No, but we could walk dogs together.”

  Somehow the way Phillip said this made it sound like the offer of a lifetime. Joey watched the cute way he played with his straw, taking little sips occasionally, while completely oblivious to how suggestive this was.

  “So what do you want to be when you grow up?” Phillip asked.

  Joey blinked, having forgotten that he was suppose to be maintaining the conversation. “A lawyer,” he answered finally.

  Phillip raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

  “Well, I know you might not believe this, but most people consider me a smooth talker.”

  “Really?” Phillip asked with just enough disbelief to make them both laugh. “I’m sure money is part of your motivation, too.”

  Joey tried to remember if Maggie said he should be honest or not. “Yeah, money is the main factor. I want to be able to enjoy life, see the world, that sort of thing. What about you? What do you want to do?”

  “Guess.”

  A challenge? Luckily the waitress came back for their food orders, buying Joey a bit more time. “I don’t know,” he said once she had gone. “Probably something with Green Peace.”

  “No,” Phillip snorted. “Not even close.”

  “What then?”

  “A tax accountant.”

  “Really?” Joey chuckled. “You? I thought it would be something more philanthropic. You do the whole animal shelter thing and even chose the vegetarian option on the menu.”

  “Like you said, money is important. Besides, outside tax season, I’ll have lots of free to time spoon feed starving orphans and ride around on the whales I’ve saved.”

  Joey’s cola almost shot through his nose. Phillip kept him on his feet the rest of the meal, Joey enjoying every minute of it. He usually only had this much fun with Maggie, except he could actually take Phillip home afterwards for some horizontal extracurricular.

  “Are you sure you don’t want dessert?” Joey pleaded, not wanting the meal to come to an end.

  “I’m sure! I’m stuffed, honestly. Uh…” Phillip bit his lip. “How does paying work? I mean, usually the guy pays for everything, but we’re both guys.”

  “I invited you, so it’s my treat.”

  “So I would get the check next time around? Sorry. I haven’t really been on many dates. Have you?”

  Joey smiled. “Not really, but I’m glad that you want to do this again.”

  They didn’t have plans for afterwards, so Joey drove them around aimlessly while they continued to talk. He was tempted to head for the city limits and take Phillip hostage, but the evening was getting on and he was becoming tired.

  “Come home with me,” Joey said. “I don’t want our night together to end.”

  Phillip’s smile was uncomfortable, causing Joey’s stomach to twist up. Somehow he had lost again.

  “It’s been a wonderful evening, but let’s not complicate it. There’s no rush, right?”

  “Of course not,” Joey replied.

  When he pulled up to Phillip’s house, he was expecting another peck on the cheek. When even that didn’t happen, he looked over just as Phillip’s lips mashed into his. The kiss was clumsy and fleeting, but Joey went from despairing to rock hard in two seconds.

  “Call me,” he stammered as Phillip exited the car.

  Joey raced home, not feeling much of anything but desperation. When he made it up to his room, he hopped into bed, shoved his fist down his pants, and lost himself in wild imaginings of pale white skin and searching blue eyes.

  * * * * *

  Joey woke up the next morning feeling anything but content. If this was love, even just the beginning, he wasn’t sure he wanted any part of it. After relieving himself sexually last night, he had tossed and turned in bed, replaying every aspect of the date in his mind and looking for anywhere he had gone wrong. He had always heard love was the greatest high, but for the first time in his life, Joey felt insecure and vulnerable. Part of him was tempted to get online and find an easy fix for his ego, but that sounded too damn easy.

  He spent the rest of the day in a foul mood, and was cleaning out his car when a familiar engine noise came puttering down the road. He looked into the rearview mirror just in time to see Bradley hop out of his old Ford Escort with Scott in tow. They appeared to have just gone swimming, since Bradley was wearing nothing but swim trunks, the sight of which only made Joey feel more frustrated. They looked so ridiculously happy together. Acting on a whim, he climbed out of his car and sprinted across the street.

  “Hey, Bradley! Quick question!”

  “Hey, it’s you!” Scott said. “You live around here?”

  “You two know each other?” Bradley said, his face wearing its all-too-familiar confused expression.

  “Yeah. Look, I hooked you guys up. That’s why I had you both come to the sports bar. Jesus, didn’t you figure that out yet? Anyway, I need your help.”

  They needed a couple more minutes to get up to speed. Scott was there soon enough and promised Bradley he would explain it to him later. Thankfully, he appeared more amused than insulted.

  “What’s up?”

  Joey turned to Bradley. “Why hi
m?” He jabbed a thumb in Scott’s direction. “You’re one of the hottest guys in the world, but you’re head over heals in love with him. Why not any other good-looking guy or even me?”

  “Sorry,” Bradley said, “but I’m just not interested in you.”

  “No, I don’t mean it like that. I mean that you could have anyone in the world, but Scott means something to you. Why?”

  The big lug thought it over for longer than anyone should have to. Joey was sure he wouldn’t answer at all when he finally said, “Without Scott, I just sit around wasting my life. But when we’re together, all of a sudden every minute feels too important to waste, so I try to be the best person I can for him while trying to make him feel as special as he makes me feel.” Scott was clearly moved by this outpouring, until Bradley added, “Of course, most of the time we just joke around or screw, and I like that, too.”

  Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and allowed himself a discrete smirk. “Look,” he said, “I’m guessing you’re asking this because you’re trying to find that magic formula. There’s some guy out there you want wrapped up in Cupid’s chains? Well, there is no right answer. You just have to give it your best, but at the end of the day, some people get along with each other and others don’t. I like Bradley because he’s easy-going, drop-dead gorgeous, and in his own clumsy way, romantic as hell. He’s what I need. If this guy is what you need, it’ll click. Simple as that.”

  Joey nodded, mumbled his thanks, and walked away. As much as he hated to admit it, sex was still important to him. He wanted nothing more than to spend his summer vacation with Phillip, but getting laid was the butter and bread of his day. If they could have that together, he would be in seventh heaven, but if not, then maybe Phillip wasn’t the right guy for him. Perfect in every other way, except in that one essential area that drew the line between friends and lovers.

  The phone in his pocket vibrated. Joey sighed, pulled it out, and halfheartedly read the text message.

  My parents just left to see my grandma, meaning they’ll be gone a few hours. Couldn’t stop thinking about you last night. I should have said yes. Is it too late?

  Joey reread it twice just to be sure. Then he broke every traffic law in the book, even commiting manslaughter on a garden gnome as he cut across a lawn, getting to Phillip’s house in record speed. When he opened the door, Phillip appeared sheepish more than horny, but he smiled when Joey did and invited him inside.

  “Should we go to my room?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  Joey followed him up the stairs, feeling as uncertain as ever. He couldn’t shake the feeling that Phillip was going to change his mind again. As soon as Joey entered his room, all thoughts of sex vanished from his mind. Here was Phillip’s inner sanctuary. Joey drank in all the details—the Broadway musical posters, the little model of the solar system on his desk, and the old framed map of Indian territories on the wall. He was moving toward the bookshelf when Phillip said his name.

  Joey turned to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, cheeks flushed, but whether from embarrassment or desire he wasn’t sure. Joey sat next him, the smell of Phillip’s cologne making him hungry for his neck, so he began there, leaning forward and kissing his soft skin. Then Joey moved to his lips. At last, familiar territory! Here was an area where Joey didn’t need the advice of others.

  Phillip’s lips were sweet, as if he had sipped a glass of apple juice just before Joey arrived. Joey let his tongue brush against his lips before moving gently inside. Phillip turned more toward him, placing a hand on his shoulder and letting Joey lead.

  “Sorry about the other night,” Phillip said, pulling away for a break.

  “You’re more than making up for it now.” Joey grinned and leaned forward for more. A couple more kisses and he would move that hand on his shoulder somewhere lower.

  “It’s just that I was a little nervous,” Phillip said, pulling away again. “I really wanted to, but it’s my first time, so I guess I panicked.”

  “First time?” Joey stared at him, but Phillip’s expression was earnest. He wasn’t kidding.

  “Yeah. To be honest, last night was my first kiss.”

  And Joey hadn’t done anything to make it special. God, this explained everything. Joey had been coming onto him like a horny old goat, when Phillip hadn’t made it to first base yet. Hell, he hadn’t even been up to bat! Joey couldn’t remember his first time very well, since he had been drunk. The other guy had been older and most if it was a blur. Nothing about the experience had been worth remembering.

  “I’m ready, though,” Phillip said, leaning forward.

  Joey kissed him briefly, but the hazy memory of that first drunken encounter, rushed and meaningless, was still on his mind. Phillip deserved more than that. They had barely exchanged more than a few sentences today. Before long, his parents would return, and even if Joey managed to make the time before then special, it wouldn’t stay romantic. Not for long.

  “You know what?” Joey took the hand off his shoulder and held it. “Let’s not rush this. I don’t want to worry about your parents coming home or anything like that. I think my mom is going on a date tomorrow night. She always stays out late. How about you come over then?”

  “I really am ready,” Phillip said, but he appeared relieved.

  “So am I, but we can wait one more day. Trust me. It’ll be better this way.”

  Phillip paused. “Does this mean we have to stop making out?”

  Joey laughed and answered him with a kiss.

  * * * * *

  Peeking through the upstairs blinds, Joey could see Phillip’s father dropping him off. If only Mr. Anthony knew what was in store for his son that night. Really, it was best that he didn’t. Phillip walked up the driveway, and Joey let the blinds snap shut. He rushed to his room, readjusting the volume on the stereo. A little Barry White in the background, just smooth enough to be sexy and cheesy enough to make Phillip laugh and relax.

  By now he would be at the door, reading the note that told him to come inside. Once he did, he would find tealight candles lighting the way, and on each step, a fresh red rose. Joey waited, sometimes holding his breath, until Phillip finally appeared at his bedroom door, holding the bouquet of flowers he had collected along the way.

  Joey went to him, his grin matching Phillip’s as he took the roses from him and put them in a vase he had waiting. Phillip glanced around the room, noticing the subtle candlelight and taking in the details of Joey’s room just as he had done in Phillip’s room the day before.

  “This music—” he said before he laughed.

  “I know,” Joey said. “Should I turn it off?”

  “No. Let it play. Thank you for the roses.”

  “My pleasure,” Joey said with a smile, but he could see that Phillip was getting nervous again. He was wearing shorts due to the summer heat outside, and Joey couldn’t help but think about sliding his hand up his leg, past his thigh… But he would have to take it slow. He leaned forward and kissed Phillip tentatively. Nothing too aggressive. Then Joey nuzzled his ear with his nose.

  “Come get in bed with me,” he whispered.

  “Should I take my clothes off?”

  Joey shook his head. “Just your shoes.”

  “Okay.”

  Joey sat in the bed, back against the headboard, as he watched Phillip take off his shoes. Then those blue eyes looked to him again, questioning.

  “Come lay next to me. Tell me about your day.”

  Phillip nodded, climbing into bed and trying a few different positions. He hadn’t even cuddled with a guy before! Finally he rested his head on Joey’s chest and draped an arm across his waist.

  Phillip talked. Nervously at first, but slowly he relaxed. They talked for a good half hour, laughing at each other’s stories while learning more about each other. Phillip’s hand began to move idly across his Joey’s stomach as he spoke, eventually moving up to stroke the ribs with his fingers. Joey could only guess how often Phillip
had imagined doing any of this with another guy, simply being allowed to be so close and to touch. The idea made him harder than the actual physical contact did, and he knew his own shorts were doing a poor job of hiding his arousal. Finally Phillip’s hand moved to Joey’s belt and stopped there.

  “Go ahead,” Joey prompted.

  Phillip fumbled and struggled, but soon he had the belt open and the buttons undone. All signs of hesitation were gone as he pulled back Joey’s underwear and gasped, actually gasped, when he saw what was below. Phillip’s hand was warm as it wrapped around his cock. Joey closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. God, this had been worth waiting for!

  He let Phillip explore, basking in the waves of pleasure that were rolling through his body. Then he reached down to touch Phillip’s hair. He had only wanted to stroke him affectionately, but Phillip must have thought it was a hint and moved his head down.

  Joey moaned a few times before he began wincing. “Teeth!” he hissed. “Watch the teeth!”

  Phillip pulled back and looked up at him, face red in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Let me show you how it’s done.”

  Joey moved over so Phillip could lay, kicking off his shorts and twisting out of his shirt. Phillip started to do the same when Joey stopped him. He wanted this pleasure. Joey undid the first button, folding the cloth to each side and kissing the newly revealed skin. He repeated this process for each button. By the time he reached his belly button, Phillip was squirming, his hands occasionally betraying him by tugging at his shorts.

  Joey grinned and undid Phillip’s belt with his teeth. He could handle buttons or a zipper in this same fashion, but now he was becoming too impatient. Phillip sucked in as Joey pulled, shorts and underwear coming off in one fell swoop. Phillip’s cock was just as pale, beautiful, and delicate as the rest of him. Joey slowed his pace again, licking and kissing before finally taking him in. This was his arena, and it didn’t take long before Phillip was on the verge.

  “Wait,” Joey said. “There’s one more thing I want us to do.”