The Barn

by Morgan Dawson

* * *

  I sigh. "Could I have the glass back?" I hear the bitterness in my voice, regretting it. He pushes the glass in to my hand before turning away.

  * * *

  I walk back up to the house, hoping the barn will be finished soon. I give Lydia the glasses to wash while I sweep the floor.

  * * *

  It's quiet in the house. Genevieve is now reading a book she brought home from school, Lydia is hanging the towel she used to dry the dishes, and Hazel is putting flowers in a vase. It's a beautiful assortment of white and pink flowers and I have no clue where she found them. Probably in the bushes where she’s always exploring in her free time.

  * * *

  Finished my sweeping, I take some paper from my school basket and lay it out on the table. I also take my ink and quill and sit down.

  * * *

  I pull out the book I'd brought home, which has a variety of poems inside. I leaf through the pages searching for one I'd like to share with my students, and perhaps do a project on.

  * * *

  I work at folding the corner of the pages on poems I like, and continue reading each one carefully and slowly. My eyes soon feel heavy—reading always does this to me. I decide one minute of resting my eyes wouldn't harm anyone.

  * * *

  I rest my head on the table and let my eyes close. I can smell the flowers Hazel has brought in, and they have a calming aroma. Soon, before I can stop myself, I'm drifting into darkness.

  "Girls!" I'm woken to the frantic shouts of August. I jump up from the chair where I've been sleeping, turning to face him. He's standing in the doorway, his face beading with sweat. "Your pa. He..." He stops and takes a quick breath. "He fell and I think he's really hurt."

  * * *

  It feels like my stomach has caved in, like the world is spinning around and around and I can’t stop it. I don't know what to do. My brain isn't functioning.

  * * *

  I push past August, running out of the house in a full sprint toward the barn. I can hear everyone else trailing close behind.

  * * *

  The first thing I see is Robert pacing, pulling his hands through his hair. I stop, deciding it’s best to not let Hazel see right away. "Hazel. Go get Darlene."

  * * *

  She doesn't argue, but instantly runs off around the bushes in pursuit of Darlene.

  * * *

  I stop in my tracks, seeing my pa lying motionless on the ground. Tears threaten but I hold them in. Kneeling down beside him, I take his hand. His nose is bleeding and I can tell he's unconscious.

  * * *

  "How did he fall?" The words are hard for me to say, my mouth seeming to forget how to talk.

  * * *

  Robert, who’s still pacing, rubs his forehead with his hand. "He tripped on the roof and fell down. I think he hit his head first."

  * * *

  I look back down at pa, and rub my finger up and down his large, calloused hand. His breathing is shallow and I place my hand over his heart, feeling worried. I wish Darlene would hurry. Head injuries can be serious.

  * * *

  "Pa? Please wake up."

  * * *

  He doesn't stir at hearing my words, and soon I see Darlene come barrelling around the corner with Alice in her arms. She quickly passes Alice to Genevieve before rushing over.

  * * *

  "Pa!" She lifts her hands to her mouth. "Oh Pa." She kneels on the opposite side of him, taking his other hand. "Oh please."

  * * *

  I turn my head to Hazel, who is sobbing, her shoulders shaking. Lydia is holding her tightly, tears pouring out of her eyes. Darlene shoots a look to Robert, then Hazel and Lydia.

  * * *

  I watch as Robert nods and whispers something to them, guiding the two of them up to the house.

  * * *

  Genevieve stands next to August, her face pale.

  * * *

  I focus my attention back to pa. "Oh Pa. Please be okay. I'm sorry for being such a selfish and foolish girl. If I could, I'd take back everything I've ever said to you that wasn't nice. I didn't mean a word, Pa. I'm being honest. I love you." I pause, hearing myself say the words I'd been wanting to say for months.

  * * *

  I grip his hand with both of mine. The tears I'd been attempting to hold in spill out and run down my face. "Please Pa. I love you, with all my heart." My voice is not more than a whisper now. “And I... forgive you.”

  Chapter 22

  My legs are sore underneath me because I've been kneeling on them for so long. I’m still sitting next to pa, my tears now dry on my face, with strands of my hair stuck to it.

  Darlene has said we shouldn't move him until he's awake because he could have broken his neck. Waiting is unbearable. Each minute seems to pass by slower than the last.

  I look up to August, who in turn gives a faint smile at me. He's been standing there for a while, comforting Genevieve. I'm pretty sure she's too scared to even touch pa.

  Darlene gasps and I snap my head to look at Pa. His eyes are twitching and he flutters them open slowly.

  "Pa." Darlene places her hand on his forehead. "Pa. It's going to be okay. Just don't move." I see the doubt written in Darlene's eyes.

  We both know how serious an injury like this can be. He may look fine on the outside, but we have no idea how bad things are on the inside.

  He moans, gripping my hand tightly, and I let him, even though I'm sure he's crushing my bones. "Adeline?"

  I smile, squeezing his hand. "Yes, Pa. I'm here."

  He gives a small smile.

  Darlene places her hand on pa's chest. "Do you remember what happened?"

  "I was on the roof and I... I tripped on an uneven board. I then hit my head and everything went black." Pa replies, his voice hoarse.

  "At least you remember. That's a good sign. Pa? Do you have any pain in your neck?"

  "No, but my vision is kind of fuzzy or something."

  Darlene stands, looking to August. "All right. Let's get him up to the house. Genevieve, run and get Robert, and you stay with the girls."

  With that, Genevieve runs back in the direction of the house.

  "Pa?" Darlene crouches back down beside him. "We're going to get you back up to the house now."

  He doesn't reply but gives a small smile. We wait in silence until we see Robert in the distance walking quickly.

  Darlene takes pa's arm, and I do the same on the other side. Robert positions himself by Pa's head, and August stands to my side. We slowly pull him to his feet. My arms shake at the weight being put on them.

  August must notice from the expression on my face, because he moves closer to take pa's arm also. The four of us slowly get him up to the house, with him wincing every now and then. But, he really doesn’t make much of a fuss considering how much pain he must be in.

  Genevieve is waiting at the doorway as we near the house. Getting him through the door, we lead him to his room and with ease, lay him on his bed.

  "Pa. Are you okay?" Darlene is sitting on the bed next to him, a desperate look in her eyes.

  He reaches for Darlene's hand and smiles faintly. "I'm fine sweet girl. Now stop fussing over me, I feel silly enough."

  "Oh Pa. Don't feel like that. We're only trying to help you. I know you'll-" Darlene is cut off as Pa presses his hand on forehead. "What, Pa?"

  "Oh, it's just a little headache." He closes his eyes, still holding his hand to his head.

  I shift uncomfortably in the doorway next to August and Robert.

  "Darlene?"

  She squeezes his hand. "Yes, Pa?"

  "You'll stay here tonight, wont you? For the girls?"

  Darlene smiles, her brows furrowed slightly. "I was already planning on it."

  Pa smiles and closes his eyes. "I'm just going to have a little sleep."

  "Okay Pa. But don’t you leave us, all right?”

  Darlene plants a kiss on his forehead and motions for us to leave the room, shutting the door
behind her.

  Genevieve, Lydia and Hazel are all sitting by the fireplace, each looking equally worried. Hazel has Alice in her arms, and is stroking her hair.

  Darlene sits next to Lydia on the stone ledge. "I think pa will be just fine. I think he’s just going to have a bad headache, and hopefully will recover with lots of rest.”

  Lydia smiles, resting her head on Darlene's shoulder.

  Robert holds his arms out and Hazel stands, passing Alice to him.

  August is standing by the table with his hands in his pockets. He looks uncomfortable, so I cross to where he stands, motioning for him to follow me outside. He shuts the door behind him.

  I walk down the steps and he follows beside me, giving me a puzzled look.

  He grabs my wrist, making me stop in my tracks as I spin around to face him. "How are you doing?"

  "Feeling a little miserable actually. You?"

  He sighs, looking down. "It kind of scared me, to be honest. How quick it can happen, you know? I’ve seen it happen before. I didn’t want it to happen to someone you love.”

  "August." I let out a long breath. "What if he had died? And one of the last things I’d told him was, 'I hate you.' I don't know how anyone could live with themselves after saying something like that, and then having them die. It should always be the opposite. We should only ever say, I love you or, I’m sorry.”

  He doesn't answer, but just gives me a sad look.

  "I'm such a horrible daughter."

  He gives a small smile. "No, you're not."

  "What if he never forgives me? August, what have I done?" Tears threaten again, but I force them to remain in my eyes—to not overflow. I don't want to look weak.

  He holds his arms out, and I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me into a hug, and I feel a tear run down my face and onto his shirt. "Adeline?"

  I pull back, my teary eyes looking into his. "What?"

  "About what you said. About how someone could live after saying something like that to someone and having them die." He pauses. "They don't."

  I furrow my eyebrows, confused. Then it dawns on me. "You?" I start.

  "Maybe an hour before my sister fell in the river, we got in a little fight, over such a silly thing. She'd set her brush on the table and I said it was why my potatoes had a long, brown hair in it. She told me I didn't understand, and told me I was obnoxious."

  I pull him into a hug this time. "I didn't realize this about you, August. You should have told me. I'm so sorry."

  He smiles and his green eyes peer into mine. "You've certainly changed in these last few days."

  "You introducing me to Riverbend, and the school, was the best thing to happen to me. I don't know how I'll ever repay you. I'm sure I would've gone mad remaining here." I pause looking down at my feet. "Do you think my pa will forgive me?"

  He doesn't answer at first but then smiles. "I'm sure he will, Adeline. Your pa doesn't seem like the type to hold a grudge."

  I raise an eyebrow, laughing. "Like me?"

  "No, you were hurt. It's different"

  I sigh. "I'm sure I probably hurt him too. I was so selfish."

  "Everyone makes mistakes."

  I jump at his words. The very same words Darlene had told me months ago. Everyone makes mistakes.

  "Thank you."

  He chuckles, putting his hands in his pockets. "For what?"

  "Making me realize some pretty important things."

  Chapter 23

  "Darlene, are you sure you and Robert are fine by yourselves here with pa?" I'm still standing in the doorway. Genevieve, Lydia and Hazel have already gone down the lane to meet August.

  She gently pushes me out the door. "Yes, yes. Now go."

  I laugh as she shuts the door and I turn, making my way down to where August is waiting by the back of the wagon.

  He smiles, taking my hand. "Holding us up again?"

  I give him a glare as he helps in to the wagon. He jumps up to his seat and soon the wagon moves forward, bumping down the road.

  "Pa's doing better today. He says his ears are ringing, but Darlene doesn’t think he’s broken anything.”

  "That's good. I could hardly sleep last night when I got home. I told my pa and he sends his wishes for your pa to have a quick recovery."

  I nod, smiling at him, unsure how to reply.

  We sit quietly, the only sound coming from the wagon wheels as they run over rocks, and bumps on the uneven ground.

  "So, do you know how Mae's sister is doing?" August asks, pulling the reins slightly to slow the horses a bit.

  I smile, looking up at him. "She told me that Lillian is getting better. I'm really happy. I'm not sure how little Mae could handle losing someone again."

  It's quiet again and I can hear Genevieve laughing with Lydia and Hazel in the back of the wagon.

  "Adeline?" August starts and I look up, seeing hesitation written on his face. "How long do you think you'll continue teaching at Riverbend?"

  "I don't really know. I'm just planning on continuing as long as I’m able, I guess. I do enjoy it a lot though, so I hope to be able to for a while. Why?"

  He clears his throat, moving his eyes to the horses in front of him. "Oh. Never mind."

  "No, what?" I give him a reassuring smile. "Why were you asking?"

  He doesn't answer, but instead looks away.

  Laughing, I rest my hand on his shoulder. "August?"

  He sighs, looking at me again. "I was just wondering, is all, and I'm glad you're enjoying it."

  I can tell he's lying, but I let him get away with it. If he doesn't want to tell me, it's his business.

  An awkward silence passes over us and I pick at my fingers unsure of what to do.

  We soon reach Riverbend, not having spoken to each other since he asked about my teaching. He parks the wagon outside the mercantile and jumps out, going to tie his horses up.

  My sisters jump out of the wagon as I collect my basket from under the bench. I find August standing by the back waiting to help me out.

  I take his hand, not meeting his eyes, as I jump down and pull my hand from his, maybe too quickly.

  I look to my sisters and smile. "Here. You girls take the key and go on ahead. I'll be right there."

  Genevieve gives me a puzzled look as she takes the key from my hand. She turns and starts walking with Lydia and Hazel toward the schoolhouse.

  I turn back to August who is closing the back of the wagon. "August? Are you mad at me?" My voice is quiet, just more than a whisper.

  His face softens and he takes both of my hands in his. "No, I'm not mad at you, Adeline. I'm sorry if I made you feel upset."

  I smile, feeling the panic that was starting to rise inside me, go down. "Okay. I thought I'd said something wrong."

  He hesitates before saying. "You never do."

  I don't answer at first, trying to make sense of his words.

  He smiles before planting a quick kiss on my cheek. "Well, have a great day."

  And before I can register what's happening, he's walking in the direction of the church.

  After gathering my bearings, I rush to the schoolhouse, making my way inside to stand in front of the chalkboard. No one is here yet other than my sisters who are already sitting in their seats.

  "Teach me knowledge." Lydia grins from her seat at the back of the room.

  For some reason, I burst out laughing at what she said. Normally the quiet, reserved one wouldn't have said something silly like that.

  Maybe hanging around those other girls has boosted her confidence. Just maybe.

  "Hello children." I say, brought out of my thoughts as the door opens and all of my students filter in.

  "Hello Ms. Carter. How was your weekend?" Pearl runs over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

  I stroke the back of her hair smiling. "It was...it wasn't as good as I'd hoped it would be, but we can't dwell on the past, can we?"

  She lifts her head to look up at me. "W
hat happened?"

  "You'll just have to wait for it to come up in today's lessons."

  Pearl smiles and skips to her desk. The other students are already sitting in their seats. Some show looks of exhaustion while others have eager smiles on their faces.

  "All right. How were your two days since I saw you last?"

  "Good." Many of the students mutter.

  I pause before turning to write the word 'forgiveness' on the board. Turning to face them, I start. "Who can tell me what the word forgiveness means?"

  Many of the older students raise their hands, while some of the younger children look at me with eager eyes.

  I point to an older boy, maybe the age of Genevieve, near the back. I recall his name being Eugene. "Yes, Eugene?"

  He clears his throat. "Forgiveness. The act in which one person is forgiven for their past mistakes or someone who forgives someone."

  I smile, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Yes, Eugene. That was brilliantly said." I pause, slowly walking back to stand by my desk. "Now, students. I've got a story to share with you. I hope you take the lesson from this story and use it in your future."

  The students seem to go still waiting for me to begin. I take a deep breath before starting. "This weekend, my pa was building a new barn because our old one fell down during a storm. He fell off the roof and hit his head on the ground, knocking himself unconscious." I look to Genevieve, who gives me a nod.

  "Well, just the day before, my pa and I got into a silly argument. I said some not so nice things, ones I will forever regret. In the moment, when my pa was lying on the ground, and I didn’t know if he would live, I felt sick to my stomach. I was worried I'd never have the chance to tell him I loved him, and that I didn't mean what I'd said."