With My Whole Heart Forever

by Wendi Sotis

  There! All that was hidden came into view. She never grew tired of this scene.

  Pemberley sat on rising ground directly across the valley. At any time of year, the house was a beautiful sight, but surrounded by the formal gardens to the left and her rose garden to the right, in full bloom in a rainbow of colours, all perfectly reflected in the lake across the lawn — the scene was magnificent! The sun sparkled off each of the forty-two windows on this side of the building. The columned architecture was far more attractive than any other building she had ever seen — even Matlock — and it was not the fondness of it being her own home that made it so.

  It always amazed her how all this beauty had been masked by such an ordinary hillside only moments ago.

  That was the answer to her problem! She would suggest they host a masque for the Harvest Ball.

  Not only did she suppose her tenants and neighbours would enjoy it, but also it might be the only way her brother could get to know Lizzy without his social prejudice obscuring his view of her.

  Ana smiled to herself and urged her horse to increase the pace of her steps towards home.

  Georgiana — no, he must start thinking of her as Ana, so that he would make no additional mistakes when speaking. Ana had a spring in her step as she rushed into Darcy’s study. Warmth filled his chest at seeing her with so much energy. Her eyes exhibited a sparkle that he had not seen of late except when she had just returned from riding.

  He thanked God again for helping her to heal.

  She stood before his desk. “I am sorry to come to you in such a state. I know I should have bathed and changed before coming to you, Brother, but I have an idea, and it must be decided upon today to give our neighbours and tenants time to prepare. I would like the Harvest Ball to be a masque this year.”

  “A masque?” Darcy worked to keep his thoughts from showing on his face.

  Heaven help him! Was it not bad enough that he was required to host a ball every year? If it were just the tenants, he might actually look forward to it, but it was a tradition to invite all the neighbouring gentry to the ball. Many of the ladies in the area expected him to dance a set with them. If they wore masks, he would not even know with whom he should be especially cautious around — meaning the unmarried ones.

  “What has put this into your head?”

  “It would be such fun! And I have been thinking, I can order masks from the shops in the village, as well as feathers, paints, buttons, ribbons, and the like to decorate them. We shall make the supplies available to anyone, so that all who wish to wear a mask may do so without straining their funds, and at the same time, we will be providing the Lambton shopkeepers with business. Oh! Perhaps we can host a mask-making event in the courtyard of the Pemberley chapel one Sunday after church, before the ball.” Ana’s smile strained a bit. “Do not some of our tenants attend the church in Lambton?”

  “Yes, I believe the Johnstons and the Browns attend services there for it is closer to their homes.”

  Her smile brightened once again. “We should provide some supplies to those families, as well, or leave word at the shops to charge our account for any mask supplies.”

  Darcy sighed quietly. He had not seen his sister this excited for a very long time. After all that she had been through, how could he refuse something that cheered her so thoroughly?

  He inhaled deeply and plastered a smile on his lips. “We will have to add those details to the invitations when we begin to write them out this evening. It will take several days to pen them all, I expect.”

  His sister clapped her hands. “Oh, thank you, Brother! Thank you! I shall go to Mrs. Reynolds and tell her this instant. I cannot wait to help plan the ball.” She rounded the desk and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I must change, but I will see you at supper.”

  She rushed from the room, and he was left staring at the closed door.

  It was such a relief to see her so happy.

  He would just have to muddle through a masque.

  CHAPTER 7

  ~ Sunday, 18 August 1811

  Elizabeth and the Johnston children walked home from the church located in the village of Lambton, while the Gardiners and Mr. Johnston rode back in the wagon. Upon arrival at the house, the children hurried inside to change into their everyday clothing, after which they scattered about the farmyard to finish their chores.

  Thinking she would find her aunt in the kitchens, Elizabeth entered through that door.

  “May I do something to help?” Elizabeth asked.

  Her aunt looked up from peeling a potato and shook her head.

  “Please, aunt? I did well while chopping vegetables the other day, did I not?”

  “You did, Lizzy, but…”

  Elizabeth did her best to imitate the pleading expression her younger sisters used with their mother to get what they wanted, at least when they were not pouting.

  Aunt Gardiner chuckled. “All right; you win. I’ve just finished peeling these carrots. Can you prepare them for the stew?”

  Elizabeth smiled, took an apron from a peg on the wall, and pushed her arms through the sleeves.

  “Did you enjoy your walk returning from church, Lizzy?”

  “I certainly did. The children are so well behaved and always willing to entertain me.” She tied the apron in the back, stepped up to the counter, and got to work, slicing the carrots into smaller pieces. “They showed me the remains of an abandoned stone cabin in the woods along the stream.”

  Nancy, the kitchen maid, half-turned from washing a pan. “Mus’ be the old fish-hatcher’s cottage. I ’eard the late Mr. Darcy built a new one for ’im a few years back, a mile or so upstream.”

  Elizabeth started. “Mr. Darcy?”

  “Yes.” Her aunt deposited pieces of potato into a pot and glanced up at Elizabeth. Elizabeth’s expression must have shown she did not understand, for Aunt Gardiner raised her eyebrows. “Did you not know that Mr. Darcy is the master of Pemberley, dear Lizzy?”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “I do not believe I have ever heard the family name mentioned before. Whenever someone speaks of the owner of the estate, they have always called him the master.”

  “Now that you mention it, I guess we have.” Aunt Gardiner returned to peeling potatoes. “I see my old habits from when I lived here as a girl have not faded with time.”

  Darcy… could the owner of Pemberley be the same man who owned Netherfield Park?

  With Nancy present, she could not ask for details about Mr. Darcy without sounding rude.

  “I usually work in the big ’ouse,” said Nancy, “but when Mr. Darcy ’eard that Mrs. Johnston was ill, ’e sent me ta cook for the family. Knowing the boys are sick, too, Roger from the master’s stables was sent to ’elp out in the fields. Such a fine gentleman, that Mr. Darcy, thinkin’ of what’ll do everybody good. An’ Miss Darcy’s such a beauty. I ’ear from the housemaids that she plays and sings better than ever they seen. We couldn’t ’ave a better master or mistress.”

  Well, then! If this Mr. Darcy was such an excellent master — and the testimony of so many since she arrived were true — it proved the owner of Netherfield must not be the same man as the owner of Pemberley, after all.

  But then again, perhaps it was a case of “out of sight, out of mind.” Hertfordshire was a rather far distance from Derbyshire. It would make sense that, if he were to pay close attention to any of his tenants, it would be the people he would regularly see rather than those he never laid eyes upon.

  No good could come from guessing. Elizabeth must discover whether Netherfield’s Mr. Darcy was the same as Pemberley’s Mr. Darcy.

  Her father, her uncle Phillips, Sir William, and the other gentlemen of the estates surrounding Meryton had all tried to force Netherfield’s Mr. Darcy to live up to his responsibilities, to no avail. Netherfield’s Mr. Darcy ignored all correspondence, and his attorney in London turned away anyone who presented themselves, demanding to meet with him about the situation.

  Now, here
in Derbyshire, she found herself in a unique position. Could the very man who snubbed all attempts to do what was right at Netherfield actually reside a few miles away from where she was standing right now?

  She had to find out.

  But how? It was not as if she were a guest at a neighbouring estate and would be introduced to the gentleman at a social gathering. She could not simply walk up to the manor house and introduce herself, as a gentleman could, and accuse him of ignoring an estate several counties away.

  Yet, the situation in Hertfordshire was becoming urgent. She could not let such an opportunity as this slip away.

  She must find a way to meet Mr. Darcy and remedy the dreadful state of affairs at Netherfield!

  ~ Monday, 19 August 1811

  Two days later, Mrs. Gardiner and Mrs. Johnston were both in the parlour when Elizabeth returned from her walk. Her aunt introduced Elizabeth and Mrs. Johnston, for Elizabeth had never met the woman in whose house she had been staying.

  Elizabeth soon learned the doctor had given permission to Mrs. Johnston and her two eldest sons to come downstairs for a short time in the afternoons. The doctor would return again in a couple of days, after which he expected to be able to grant permission for Mrs. Johnston to begin doing some light housework to build up her strength again, and the boys might be ready to start some chores in the yard, as well. If their health continued to improve, they would gradually increase their duties when the doctor saw them again the following week.

  “With all my sister has told me of you,” Mrs. Johnston said, “I feel as if I’ve known you ever so long, Miss Bennet. Thank you for givin’ up your holiday and takin’ such good care of our little ones.”

  “It has been my pleasure, Mrs. Johnston. Your family has become dear to me in the short time I have been here. The children are so well-behaved; they have been no trouble at all.”

  Mrs. Johnston beamed, adding a bit of colour in her pale cheeks.

  “You missed meeting Mr. Darcy again today, Lizzy,” Aunt Madeline said. “He came by to check on the family’s progress, and to deliver an invitation to the Harvest Ball.”

  Elizabeth sighed. Why did the gentleman always visit only while she was out? “Will we be here long enough to attend the ball, Aunt?”

  “I believe we will, dear. The doctor says it will be a full month until my sister will be well enough to manage everything she did before the illness.”

  This ball just might be an answer to her prayers. She would somehow manage to meet and speak with Mr. Darcy about Netherfield. “In that case, I am glad my mother had the foresight to insist I bring a ball gown with me.”

  “It’ll be on the night of the full moon, as it always is. The first week of September,” Mrs. Johnston said with a smile. “Two weeks from today, I believe. I hope by then, we’ll all be well enough to attend. We look forward to it every year. Since the doctor insisted I remain home, for now, I hope you don’t mind goin’ to Lambton again to the shops — as soon as everyone has decided what they’ll be wantin’ to dress up as. We’ll need supplies to make our masks.”

  “Masks?”

  Mrs. Gardiner nodded. “The Harvest Ball will be a masquerade.”

  “Never been to one before,” said Mrs. Johnston.

  “How exciting.” Elizabeth rose from her chair. “I will air out my gown and try to decide how I can make it work as part of a costume.” She smiled. “I love to dance. A masque is even better.”

  The following day, when Elizabeth arrived at the stream, Ana was pacing. The moment she saw Elizabeth, she rushed over and took her hand. “Did you hear about the ball, Lizzy?”

  “Yes, a masque! What fun that will be. Everyone at the Johnstons’ was quite excited last night. They have already planned what they will dress as. You will attend, Ana?”

  Ana looked away and coloured. “The gentry in the area are always invited to the Harvest Ball at Pemberley.” She looked at Elizabeth again. “I believe some people return to Derbyshire at this time of year just so they will not miss it.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “I have heard the same.” Elizabeth moved toward Ana’s blanket and kneeled, reaching for the young lady’s newest drawing. “This is lovely, Ana.”

  Ana thanked her and began to collect her things. Elizabeth helped her.

  After they packed up Ana’s belongings into the saddlebag, the two decided on a direction for their ramble.

  Ana asked. “You were headed for the Lakes before you were redirected here, were you not? Did you bring along a ball gown?”

  Elizabeth nodded. “My mother thought it would be wise to pack one. I thought it a silly idea at the time, but now I realise her suggestion was almost prophetic.”

  “What will you dress as?”

  “I unpacked the gown last night to air it out. As I tried to envision what it could become for a masque, I realised it would be perfect for a butterfly.

  “How wonderful!”

  “The Darcy family has kindly made supplies available at the shops. This morning, my aunt and I went into the village shop. I found some lovely blue and green ribbons along with material and lace, and I have some ideas on how to make a mask. I am no seamstress, but I have worked a needle well enough to alter a gown or two in the past and dress them up with ribbons.”

  “Would you like to return to the stream and sketch your design, Lizzy?”

  “An excellent idea.”

  The pair retraced their steps.

  “What will you be, Ana?”

  “I am not sure, but I was thinking… I am very much like a mouse.” Ana frowned, obviously not happy about the prospect.

  “I think you are much too lovely to be a mouse.”

  Ana blushed furiously.

  Did she honestly think of herself as the mousy sort? A pest, one who avoids notice, skitters around the outskirts of activity and has to steal what she needs to survive when others are not looking? Small and insignificant, one who would not be missed if she disappeared?

  That would not do! Ana might be timid, but she was not mousy in any respect.

  “We shall put our heads together and think of something that suits you better. What about your brother?”

  Her face lit up. “Brother has left it up to me. I have decided he will be a black stallion.”

  “Perhaps you can go as a white pony to match your brother. Or… Oh! How about a unicorn?”

  Judging by the light in Ana’s eyes, Elizabeth felt the younger girl was fond of that option.

  “But, would it suit me, Lizzy?”

  “When I think of a unicorn, I envision regal beauty, mystery, purity, and innocence. Yes, I believe it would do well for you.”

  “If you think so,” she said hesitantly, but her entire demeanour brightened. The stream was just ahead. The ladies hastened to Ana’s horse and set up the blanket and supplies once again.

  “Shall we sketch the masks for your aunt and uncle, and the Johnstons, as well?”

  Elizabeth agreed.

  ~ The following day

  “Fitzwilliam,” Ana said as she entered his study. “When can I have the tailor come to see you? It is for the ball.”

  He looked at his calendar and answered, “Tomorrow afternoon?”

  “That will be perfect.” Ana’s eyes sparkled. “Any later and I do not know if he can finish in time. I am sure his skills must be in high demand, with the ball less than two weeks away.”

  “What am I to be if I cannot wear my own clothing?”

  “You will be a black stallion. You may wear a black suit of clothes you already have, but I wish you to have a cape.”

  “What about my cravat?”

  “A new black one and a black shirt will be made for you.”

  He nodded. If he had to dress up as an animal, a stallion was probably the most agreeable.

  “The carpenter, maids, and I are fashioning a mask for you. I believe you will like it. You will have a white mark on your forehead, identical to that of Quickfire.”

  “Perhaps I should
wear it when I ride him? I wonder what our tenants would think if their landlord matched his horse every time he came to speak to them about serious business.”

  Ana laughed.

  Darcy chuckled along with her. “And what will be your costume?”

  “A magical white unicorn.”

  Her answer was like a breath of fresh air. She was healing.

  “Excellent choice.” He rose from his chair. “I must ride out. I will see you this evening.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “To the Johnstons’ farm.”

  “Oh?” she squirmed in her seat and would not meet his gaze.

  “Yes. Johnston believes the rye is ready for harvest, and he invited me to check it myself. Do you wish to come along and keep me company?”

  Ana’s eyebrows rose high upon her forehead. “No! I was planning to ride later. Right now, I wish to work on my costume.”

  There was something in her eyes when she spoke, and the way her brow furrowed when she said the last made him think she was not telling the complete truth. He stared at her for a few seconds before deciding to let it go. Perhaps she was distracted, puzzling out how to create her costume.

  Taking up his riding gloves from the corner of his desk, he drew closer and kissed her on the forehead. “I will see you at supper.”

  She was staring at the carpet. When he held out a hand to help her from her chair, she startled. He escorted her into the corridor.

  “Enjoy your costume-making,” he said, though instinct told him this was not the actual cause of the sudden change in her disposition.

  A while later, riding across the fields with his steward, a flash of pink amid the green of a cornfield caught Darcy’s attention. He slowed and waved the steward on ahead.

  Another flicker of rose peeked through the tall rows of corn.

  What was that?

  He reined in his horse.

  The cheerful melody of children’s giggles echoed across the fallowed turf that lay between the crop and himself. Two small children poked out of the leafy stalks. Another came toddling after.