With My Whole Heart Forever

by Wendi Sotis

  “I was with my companion, Mrs. Younge, at Ramsgate when Wickham came upon us, seemingly by chance, but later we discovered it was by design. Wickham had been a favourite of my father, and I thought he was a friend of my brother, so I felt safe with him. Mrs. Younge recommended that I invite him to the house to dine. I thought she would know best what the correct protocol would be in this situation, so I did what she told me to do. What I did not know was that Mrs. Younge was in league with him.”

  Ana took a shaky breath, met Elizabeth’s gaze, and continued as if she were speaking directly to her. “After several meetings, between the two of them, I was convinced that I was in love with him. He asked me to elope. My companion acted as if that was a delightful idea, and she told me it would be a lovely surprise for my brother if we eloped instead of his having to pay for a grand wedding. I believed her.

  “We were to leave the next day when Fitzwilliam came to Ramsgate unannounced. Of course, I told him everything. He immediately recognised I had been taken in.

  She looked away from Elizabeth, threw back her shoulders, and concentrated at a spot on the carpet. “I listened at the door when my brother spoke to him, for I wanted to know what they said to each other. I heard Wickham admit that he was not interested in me; the only thing he truly wanted was my dowry — that he was owed.

  “Fitzwilliam took me to London, and then to Pemberley. Since I believed I really was in love, I was completely heartbroken. My disposition was only just beginning to improve when I met you, Lizzy. You helped me recover… I have never told you how important our friendship is to me. More than I could ever explain.”

  “Oh, Ana!” Elizabeth blinked rapidly. “I knew you were sad about something when we first met, but I did not know what it was.”

  Tears began to roll down Ana’s cheeks. She shook her head. “It was more than Ramsgate. A few months earlier, when I was at school, several girls had befriended me. One day, I overheard them talking about me. They were using me to get access to Fitzwilliam. They argued which one would end up marrying my brother.

  “After what these young ladies did, and then Wickham and Mrs. Younge, I did not trust myself to judge people’s characters any longer, but I so wanted a friend. A real friend. When I met you in the woods at Pemberley…” she suddenly stopped and sobbed.

  Darcy and Richard both moved to put an arm around her, awkwardly bumping each other.

  Darcy said, “I do not understand, Ana. You met Miss Elizabeth at the Harvest Ball.”

  Ana shook her head and cried harder.

  Elizabeth rose, knelt before Ana, and took her hand. She looked up at Darcy. “We met weeks earlier. Just before the ball, Ana told me that she did not want you to know about our previous friendship. She was afraid you would disapprove.”

  Ana nodded.

  For a moment, it became hard for Darcy to breathe. Ana deceived him for weeks? The times he thought Ana was keeping something from him paraded through his thoughts in such quick succession, he was almost dizzy.

  That could only mean that Elizabeth had also deceived him every day since he met her! His temper rose.

  He looked at Elizabeth and stated, “You lied to me.”

  Her eyes flashed with anger. “It seemed harmless that we were friends longer than you were aware. At the time I met you, I felt I was keeping my friend’s secret. Before that, she refused to tell me her name or which estate she was from. Whenever I asked, she seemed so afraid. To be honest, before I met you, I had wondered about your character, sir.” She hesitated.

  Her bottom lip trembled slightly, and his anger melted to annoyance. Had he caused her to cry?

  Her voice was stronger than she looked at the moment. “But perhaps you are right, Mr. Darcy — it might have been a lie of omission, but it was a lie just the same. What you might not like to hear, though, is that you have lied, as well.”

  He reeled back as if she had slapped him. “I have lied?”

  “Yes, you, Mr. Darcy. Both you and your sister asked me to keep certain facts from the other. Ana asked me to keep our innocent friendship before the Harvest Ball a secret. You asked me not to tell Ana that Wickham was at Pemberley, nor about what he had done to me there.” She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I did not know how to keep these confidences without deceiving one or the other of you at times.”

  She was correct. Now Darcy realized that what he had asked of her was probably more complicated than Ana’s request. Ana must have been wondering aloud to Elizabeth why he had restricted them to the house. Elizabeth must have been forced to act as if she did not know.

  They stared at each other for a minute without saying a word.

  Ana cried out, “Please, do not argue. I am sorry. So very sorry.”

  He closed his eyes and sighed. Opening them again, he recaptured Elizabeth’s gaze. He nodded. “I apologize, as well.”

  “As do I,” Elizabeth said.

  Everyone was silent until Ana’s sobs subsided. She blew her nose and spoke, “Lizzy, experience taught me that everyone wanted to use me for my connections or our family’s money. I thought if you did not know who I was, perhaps you could like me for myself.”

  Darcy could understand that. Had he not kept his identity from Elizabeth for a while at the ball for the same reason?

  Elizabeth tilted her head to the side. Her eyes widened. “The masks! You did not want us to take them off when we walked up to the house. Why was that?”

  “The whole reason I suggested the masquerade was that I felt guilty for deceiving Fitzwilliam. I wished that you could meet my brother and still not know who we were.” Ana looked at her lap. “I was also afraid you would see the family portrait painted before I was born and recognise my brother.”

  Elizabeth said, “But I saw no portrait.”

  Ana shook her head. “We never left the library.”

  Ana looked at him and then Richard, “The reason I did not tell you that I knew Lizzy before the ball, and I swore Lizzy to secrecy, was that I overheard you both talking, when we were in London… just before we left for Pemberley.” She looked at him. “Brother, you said you would never allow me near anyone you had not hand-picked yourself and investigated fully. I wanted to continue my friendship with Lizzy…”

  Oh! That explained a few things. Darcy closed his eyes for a moment and ran a hand through his hair. “What you overheard… when it came time to choose a companion for you, Richard had been on the continent, so the task had been left to me. Aunt Catherine recommended Mrs. Younge. I trusted that she would have checked references, but I should have done so myself. After Ramsgate, I was furious at myself. I was in such a state, I was out of my senses temporarily. Richard allowed me to rant. When I had run out of things to say, he brought me back to reality. You, Dove, were not meant to hear anything I said to Richard that night.”

  There was silence for a few moments.

  Elizabeth chuckled. “It seems to me that you, dear Ana, have listened at many doors.”

  Ana looked at her wide-eyed, then started laughing. “I guess I have.” She looked at him. “And it is a habit I promise to break.”

  Elizabeth squeezed Ana’s hand then looked at Darcy. “And it sounds like you take too much on yourself, Mr. Darcy. Wickham is to blame for his own actions.”

  He blinked several times before she broke their shared gaze, stood, and turned around.

  Egad! Darcy had forgotten the others were even in the room. Now, he examined them.

  Miss Bennet patted her cheeks with her handkerchief. Even the gentlemen looked a bit teary-eyed.

  “There is one other concern of which we all must be aware.” She looked at her sister and father. “It is about Sally, our maid at Longbourn.” Elizabeth sighed. “Sally was convinced by Wickham to put some incriminating letters within my belongings. She also stole a page from my journal and gave it to him, which he said was placed in his quarters at the militia camp. Sometimes, I write in my journal as if I were writing a letter to someone else, and thoug
h I do not know what page she took, I am afraid it could look as if I was writing to him.” She shook her head. “It is a blow to be betrayed by someone who has been with us for so many years, but I am afraid we can no longer trust Sally.”

  Mr. Bennet’s colour rose. Miss Bennet paled considerably.

  Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Now that we all know the full story, we must make some decisions.”

  She took a couple of steps until she was in the centre of the grouping of chairs. “I do not believe anyone can claim that Ana or I have been compromised during the abduction attempt, nor was I when he accosted me outside the Harvest Ball at Pemberley with my aunt within view, but…”

  She turned to look at Ana, Richard, and then her gaze landed on Darcy. “We do not know what Wickham will say about his intended elopement with Ana. That is the most sensitive matter we must take into account. All of us in this room know that Ana was accompanied at all times by her companion, but who knows what stories Wickham will invent? Unfortunately, many people tend to accept the most awful explanation as true. We must come up with another option. And in case something goes wrong with the first plan, whatever we decide that shall be, it would be good to have a second plan ready, as well.”

  “A woman after my own heart,” Richard said, beaming at her.

  That dreadful sensation expanded within Darcy’s chest once more.

  And yet again, Mr. Bennet chuckled while staring directly at him.

  He looked at Richard, then Bingley. Both were stifling laughter, and both were looking at him.

  He rolled his eyes, thinking, What is their problem with me?

  CHAPTER 27

  Elizabeth looked around her. Three of the gentlemen were laughing, or very close to it.

  Annoyance rose within her.

  She folded her arms across her middle and scolded, “Gentlemen, please. I dearly love to laugh, and I have always taken every opportunity to do so, when appropriate,” she stressed. “However, there is absolutely nothing amusing about what Wickham has put Ana and me through today or in the past.”

  Mr. Bingley blushed and cleared his throat. Colonel Fitzwilliam’s smile vanished.

  Papa answered, “You are correct; the subject of which you were speaking had nothing to do with our levity, my dear. It was something else.”

  “Would you like to share with the rest of us? I think we could all use something to break the tension.” She rubbed at one of her temples.

  Her father fought a smile. “I do not wish to share at this time.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam laughed and said, “Nor I.”

  She looked at Mr. Bingley, who shook his head.

  Ana, Jane, and Mr. Darcy seemed as confused as she was, and Mr. Darcy was just as angry.

  Elizabeth dropped her hands to her sides, took a deep breath, and decided to clear the bewilderment from her mind. She straightened her spine. “Then, please put aside whatever is tickling your fancies, and let us discuss our ideas as to what to do next.”

  Mr. Darcy called for tea, which was welcome. She returned to her seat.

  As they consumed their refreshments, several options were discussed. Most were eliminated immediately for one reason or another.

  The proposals that remained involved sending Wickham to either Canada or Australia. If the rascal told any tales after being sent to either location, it would not matter.

  Mr. Darcy said, “Whenever that man has a coin in his possession, it burns a hole in his pocket. I have kept records of all the debts I have paid for him, including several I know of that my father paid while he was alive. Since Wickham had been in Derbyshire at the time of the Harvest Ball, I sent men to many of the surrounding villages to check with the inhabitants, innkeepers, tavern owners, and merchants about whether Wickham had been seen recently.”

  He rose from his chair and began pacing. “He had been in almost every one of the local villages but had not shown his face anywhere after the ball, or at least nowhere they would admit to seeing him. There were a couple of gambling establishments that are known for their secrecy; the people who worked there would not comment, which made me think he had been there.

  “At any rate, as is typical of Wickham, his debts at all legitimate places of business were left unsettled.” Mr. Darcy shook his head. “Even though I had sworn I would never do so again, I could not allow these good proprietors to be punished for Wickham’s transgressions. I required that they first agree — in writing — that they would notify me if the scoundrel was ever seen in the area again. All did so, and they were paid what Wickham owed them.”

  Elizabeth’s heart warmed. Mr. Darcy was such a generous man.

  He continued, “If we deport Wickham, I shall make it known that if he ever steps one toe on English soil again, the records of all his unpaid debts, going back many years, will be used to send him to debtors’ prison for the remainder of his life.”

  “That should be enough to keep him from returning,” Elizabeth said.

  Mr. Darcy met her gaze and stared at her for a moment, then blinked as if he had been lost in thought. Taking a deep breath, he finally said, “I certainly hope so.”

  Mr. Darcy looked around the room. “Are we all in agreement?”

  Jane abstained, but all others agreed.

  “Miss Bennet?” Mr. Bingley spoke up. “You have been quiet. What is your opinion?”

  “I am all astonishment. I have trouble believing that a person could be as bad as what I have heard today about Mr. Wickham. At the same time, I do not doubt any of you. It is confusing. This way of thinking is so new to me, I must refrain from making any judgements at this time.”

  Elizabeth took her sister’s hand. “You are too good a person to have believed that so much evil could exist, especially all in one person. It is not your nature.”

  “But, Lizzy, after what he has done, I must believe it.” Jane brought her handkerchief to her mouth and closed her eyes. “It is just too soon.”

  His eyes glued to Jane, Mr. Bingley looked as if he was making to leave his chair but stopped himself.

  Elizabeth felt a little queasy, knowing that Jane’s outlook was going through such a revelation as this.

  Their father said, “We do not yet have a second plan, in case something goes wrong with the first.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam spoke up, “Shall we not even think about turning him in to his colonel? All that has taken place — today, at least — was carried out while he was an officer in the militia. It just occurred to me that it is likely that, by tonight, if not already, he will be absent without leave.”

  Mr. Darcy asked, “How long before it is considered desertion?”

  “It is the intent that is important. If a soldier intends to return, even if it will be a while before the man does so, it remains ‘absent without leave.’” He looked at Elizabeth. “Did he ever say he would not return to the army?”

  “He was about to leave the country — travel to Scotland to marry an heiress. There was no indication of what his plans would be after that, but with the dowry…”

  Mr. Darcy finished her sentence, “He would not have needed an income.”

  “I believe his actions more than proved he would not have returned to duty,” Ana added.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam nodded. “And knowing his character…”

  Mr. Darcy sneered. “He would not have even thought about working again until Ana’s dowry ran out.”

  “How could that be possible?” Mr. Bingley exclaimed with wide eyes. “Her dowry is thirty thousand pounds!”

  “You do not know the rascal,” Mr. Darcy shook his head. “He went through the three thousand pounds my father left him in his will within a year and a half and came to me for more. I believe revenge for turning him down was one of his motives for convincing Ana to elope with him.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam added, “And he well knows that Darcy would never have allowed his sister to live in poverty, so once married, Wickham would have felt free to spend as if his funds were unl
imited. He would have gotten himself the best of everything with no sense of economy — clothing, lodgings, coaches, horses, servants, and who knows what else. Add to that his gambling, thirty thousand would have vanished rather quickly.”

  Mr. Darcy nodded. “I agree. But Richard, what happens once he is absent without leave?” Mr. Darcy asked.

  “His name, description, and anything else known about him would be circulated.”

  “He was going under the name of Drake,” Elizabeth reminded them. “If he was able to change names once, I am sure he could easily do it again, especially if he had cash readily available. He might assume Mr. Darcy would not turn him in since he would have been married to Ana.”

  The colonel said, “The most common way of catching a deserter is that someone in the service who knows the man, recognises him and turns him in.”

  Mr. Darcy leaned forward in his seat. “And if he is caught?”

  “He would be brought before a court-martial. If desertion is proven, he could be executed, transported, or on the rare occasion, simply branded with a D.”

  “So, if we transport him ourselves, justice will be done?” Elizabeth asked.

  The colonel nodded. “Due to the delicacy of this case, that is how I am trying to convince myself to look at it, but at heart, I am a soldier, and this is proving difficult for me. I am not certain a military court would see it that way. Most often, the man is shot by firing squad before many other men, to serve as an example of what happens to deserters.”

  “I do not believe any of us has taken the army’s point of view into account when making our decision. Perhaps we should reconsider that option,” Mr. Bingley said.

  “But still, we are left with the possible taint to the ladies’ reputations…” Mr. Darcy’s voice trailed off.

  “I have spent some time with Colonel Forster,” said her father. “I trust the man to be cautious about naming the ladies. He would reveal only what is absolutely necessary to convict.” He cleared his throat. “Miss Darcy, what are your thoughts?”