With My Whole Heart Forever

by Wendi Sotis

  Sally, most definitely had, for she had chosen what to take. Wickham. Who else?

  Her thoughts spun.

  Without Mr. Darcy’s name, it could be construed as if she were writing to anybody who had the page in their possession. In other words, Wickham! But if Sally tore off Mr. Darcy’s name, why had she believed Wickham’s story?

  Unless Sally thought Elizabeth to be fickle?

  Did she think Elizabeth had abandoned Wickham when she became interested in a wealthy landowner?

  It occurred to her then that all Sally had to do was listen to her mother’s rants and assume Elizabeth would do as her mother expected.

  Her stomach churned again.

  Elizabeth hoped her journal entry did not fall into Colonel Forster’s hands. Or anybody else’s, for that matter!

  What was she to do?

  A knock interrupted her panicked thoughts. It had to be the door to the dressing room for the opening to the corridor was propped up so that it blocked the entrance, but it was no longer on its hinges.

  Elizabeth shoved her journal into the drawer and closed it, though it was more like a slam. As she locked it, she called out, “Come!”

  Ana entered. “Lizzy, are you feeling better?”

  Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Yes, I am, thank you.”

  She braced herself. What would her friend say to her after she refused her brother?

  “I am glad you feel better, but you are very pale. Perhaps you should rest a while?”

  “No, I am well. I was just…” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Oh, Ana, I am sorry.” She opened them again. “What must you think of me?”

  Ana shook her head. “There is no need to apologize. I understand why you refused. I am not angry with you at all.”

  Elizabeth blinked. Did Ana really understand, or did she only think she did? There was no way of knowing unless Elizabeth asked outright, and she did not believe she could handle hearing Ana’s answer just now.

  “Your father asks that we join the others in the breakfast room so that it is easier to keep watch over us all.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. Ana would not push her to speak of her refusal. She stifled a groan while thinking she hoped her mother would not harp on the subject while Ana was present.

  “I had not thought of it, but yes, it does make sense.” She slipped the key to the drawer into her pocket and reluctantly followed Ana out of the room.

  CHAPTER 33

  Once introductions were made, Colonel Forster recalled Richard’s reputation and seemed impressed, which Darcy took as a good sign. Darcy signalled for Richard to take the lead.

  “How may I help you, gentlemen?” Forster gestured to two chairs on the visitor’s side of his desk.

  Once they were all seated, Richard said, “I understand you have a man named Drake under your command?”

  Forster nodded. “Yes, but if you would like to see him, that would not be possible. His name was on the morning report. He did not return from leave last night.”

  Richard said, “We suspected as much. His being here would be too convenient.”

  Forster narrowed his eyes, then said, “As I’m sure you know, in cases like this, we assume the officer over-indulged the previous night and will return when he sobers up.”

  “I doubt he will return at all, Colonel. He is here under a false name. His true identity is George Wickham.” Richard went on to explain Wickham’s background, adding as little detail about the current situation as was possible, and none about Ramsgate.

  “Well, well!” Forster lifted a paperweight from his desk and turned it over and over. “Are you certain it is the same man? Perhaps he is trying to turn over a new leaf by joining the militia and changing his name.”

  “We are absolutely certain of his identity,” said Darcy. “Unfortunately, our family has quite a bit of experience with this man. He is not gone off somewhere to sleep off too much drink. It just so happens the plan for his day off was to force two ladies to go along with him to Scotland. One of the ladies has a dowry of thirty thousand pounds. The other was brought along so he could threaten harm to her if the first would not marry him.”

  Forster raised his eyebrows high on his forehead. “That is… I cannot find a word terrible enough, gentlemen.”

  “Yes, exactly,” said Richard. “We have learned that he knows someone who, for a price, would marry a couple even if the lady would not consent. As I am sure you can imagine, thirty thousand is enough for him to achieve his frequently declared ambition of becoming a gentleman and never having to work another day in his life. Those who helped him escape from our custody yesterday also informed us that his ultimate motivation and goal has not changed, though we are aware his method had to be altered due to their refusing to take part in his scheme.”

  Forster cleared his throat. “Quite a lot has happened since Drake… erhm, Wickham, left camp yesterday morning.”

  “Indeed.” Richard moved forward in his chair. “Colonel, time is of the essence. Do we have your permission to look through Wickham’s belongings for anything that might help us find him before he moves against the ladies once again?”

  Colonel Forster seemed hesitant.

  Darcy said, “Mr. Bennet vouched for your character, Colonel. He was certain you would do all in your power to help.”

  “Is one of the Misses Bennets involved?”

  Darcy paused, but then realised he had no other choice than to trust this man, but if he named one, he would name both ladies. “The second eldest, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and my sister, Miss Darcy, were the ladies he tried to abduct after disabling their escort. Miss Elizabeth was able to outwit Wickham and save my sister from a lifetime of sorrow, thwarting his plot.”

  Colonel Forster frowned and nodded. “Since I have met Miss Elizabeth Bennet, I have held her in high respect. Now it is two-fold.” He stood. “I will allow your search through Drake’s, erhm, Wickham’s quarters. May I also suggest that I question his tent-mates while you do so? If he is a deserter, I have an investigation of my own to begin. I will share with you what I learn. I expect the reverse from you.”

  Darcy and Richard stood and shook hands with Forster.

  Richard said, “Thank you, Colonel.”

  “And about the ladies—” Darcy began but was cut off by Colonel Forster.

  “I will treat this matter with the highest discretion, gentlemen. My men are used to following orders without questioning my motives.”

  The mark of a good commander.

  Forster nodded at Richard, who nodded back.

  Colonel Forster led them to the tent in question and posted a guard outside the opening, ordering the man to prevent anyone else from entering.

  Darcy and Richard began searching through Wickham’s things with Colonel Forster looking on. His belongings were sparse. There was an extra uniform hanging nearby, but little else.

  Colonel Forster glanced around and growled, “I have been here before… it seems you could be correct about his intention to desert. Most of his personal effects are gone — shaving kit and the like.” He walked over to a trunk at the foot of the bed, opened it, and shook his head. “Practically empty. Go ahead and search all you like. There might be something hidden. I will have his tent-mates report to my office for questioning. Please check in with me before you leave camp.” He left the tent.

  The first thing Richard did was lift the mattress from the cot. “A common place for military men to hide things,” he explained.

  Two sheets of paper were there, one that looked as if it had been torn from a book. Richard skimmed over the contents of the one on top and shook his head. “We should have looked at a sample of Miss Elizabeth’s handwriting before leaving Longbourn.”

  “I know her handwriting.” Darcy took the pages from Richard. “Do not give me that look, Richard. The reason I know it is because she wrote letters to Ana, and Ana showed me a couple of them.” He examined the sheets. “Yes, this is her hand, though it is not quite as neat
as in her letters. However, I assume she would not take as great care when writing in her journal as she would when she expected someone else to read it.”

  The top left corner was missing, but it seemed carefully torn away. Darcy assumed there had been a word that did not fit if this had indeed been written to Wickham, so it had been disposed of. It began:

  …the most handsome man I have ever seen, but beyond the physical, I feel we are ideally suited, or at least you are well-matched to my tastes. It is as if the angels gazed into my heart and created you to fulfill everything I have ever wished for.

  Though all of the hours we have spent together have held special moments that I will cherish forever, yesterday was exceptional. As we stood by the tree, you mentioned “our children.” My soul took flight. Suddenly, I could picture it: you seated by the fire and reading aloud, surrounded by children — ours! — I seated in another chair nearby, looking on, a babe in my arms. Our children listening intently with joy in their expressions. I took in the sight with awe.

  “Our children” — belonging to both you and me — was not what you meant, I know. Yet, still, I cannot get the memory of those words, being said in your voice, out of my mind.

  Though I often think I can detect deep feelings for me in your eyes, I am well aware that my heart assigns a different meaning than what really exists. My soul sees what it wishes to see, but in reality, I know you cannot feel for me the way I do for you.

  I will say it here once, and never again — I am in love with you. I often dream of a life where we are married. However, my logical mind knows a marriage between us can never come to pass. Our stations in life are too distant. Society would never forgive…

  Darcy eagerly turned the page, but there was no more. The second page was not from Elizabeth; it was an invoice. He could pay it no mind at the moment.

  Elizabeth dreamt of me… of our marriage, our children. She loves me.

  His heart pounded in his chest. “Me. It was about me,” Darcy whispered aloud.

  “What?” Richard asked.

  “The tree. Our children.” He placed his fingers gently on the page and looked at Richard.

  Richard shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. If Richard only looked at the handwriting and had not read what Elizabeth had written, the statement would make no sense.

  Darcy explained, “Ana and I took Elizabeth for a picnic lunch at the clearing near the Name Tree. While looking at the tree, I touched an empty space, thinking…” He met Richard’s gaze. “If Elizabeth and I were to have children together, their names would be carved there someday.” He shook his head. “I did not mean to voice it, and I was mortified when I realised I had said it aloud.”

  He swallowed hard. “The look in her eyes, Richard. I almost proposed to her right then and there, but then her expression changed, and I walked away…”

  Darcy tapped the page with his fingertip. “It turns out that, at first, she comprehended my meaning correctly. But then doubt swept the thought away, and she purposely changed her understanding of what I said to mean the names of Ana’s children and mine would be carved there.”

  He flared his nostrils. “But now Wickham has twisted that memory to make it seem as if she wrote those words to him, and about him.”

  “Then it is good you and I have found this and not someone else who did not know what really happened, hmm? Nothing is tainted, Darce, unless you allow it to be.” He hesitated a moment. “And you know that I am not one to say this regularly, but I told you so, Cousin!” Richard slapped him on the shoulder. “What is on the other page?”

  “A bill of some sort.” Darcy handed it to Richard and returned his attention to the page from Elizabeth’s journal. She thought him handsome. Perfect for her. She loved him.

  He could not wait to return to Longbourn.

  “Why would he give us this?” Richard exclaimed, pulling him from his reverie.

  “What is it for?”

  “The coach he rented to take the ladies to Scotland.” Richard looked up at the top. “Good grief! He paid cash using the name E. Bennet.”

  “A proprietor normally would not lease equipment of such value to a lady.”

  “Why not? They do so all the time for Aunt Catherine.”

  “But Aunt Catherine is known to be one of the major landowners in the county.”

  “Perhaps whoever Wickham brought with him made them believe she was doing it for her father… or some such nonsense.” Richard raised his eyebrows. “I passed through the village of Bragton on my way here. It is not far. Maybe six miles closer to London than is Meryton. I will go and speak to the proprietor.”

  The two found nothing else of use. They checked in with Colonel Forster and tactfully shared the information they found, without handing over the journal page.

  Darcy said, “Obviously thinking his plan would work, Wickham left misinformation that would make whoever found it, other than those who would know better, think Miss Elizabeth Bennet helped him kidnap my sister.” He huffed out a breath. “He was not counting on Miss Elizabeth’s quick actions saving my sister from his abduction.”

  “That is the type of information I’m gathering, as well,” said Colonel Forster. “Each of the men heard very different information — too different — as if he purposely told each of them a part of a story. When each part is laid end-to-end, it is seamless. It all adds up too neatly to be anything but carefully planned. I have explained how he is a deserter, and his word should not be believed, after which all of the men I spoke to admitted Wickham owes them money, either from gaming debts or loans. That man seems to be able to charm just about anyone. I hate to admit it, but he fooled me, as well. But none of this helps us to find him. I’m afraid we are no closer to the truth.”

  “I am not so sure about that.” Richard held up the invoice. “It seems he left a clue, though I am certain he thought it was something that would implicate Miss Elizabeth in his plan, it might lead to other information. Perhaps upon my returning the coach that was to take them to Scotland, the proprietor can tell me something about whoever hired it.”

  Colonel Forster stood. “Good. While you are investigating that angle, I will send out search parties to look for him. If he still intends to kidnap your sister, Mr. Darcy, he will have remained in the area.”

  Richard said, “I suggest you choose those who are not familiar with the man, Colonel. Someone was waiting with the coach but abandoned it before we found it. There was evidence of a man pacing at the site. Whoever it was left a few good footprints — he wears a much smaller shoe than Wickham would wear.”

  “Perhaps I should measure all of my men’s feet before choosing them for this assignment,” Colonel Forster chuckled.

  Darcy and Richard made their adieus and told him to contact them at Longbourn.

  Richard added, “With your permission, Colonel, we should make Mr. Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, and Miss Darcy privy to everything that is going on in this investigation.”

  “In regards to Mr. Bennet, I would not have it any other way,” said Colonel Forster. He frowned. “But the ladies?”

  “Their unique viewpoints have proved invaluable so far.”

  He waved a hand in the air. “Whatever you feel is correct, Colonel Fitzwilliam. Mr. Darcy.”

  CHAPTER 34

  No one had mentioned that Mr. Bingley had accompanied Mr. Darcy to Longbourn; therefore, when Elizabeth and Ana arrived at the breakfast room, it was a surprise to find him sitting next to Jane. However, even with his amiable presence, the atmosphere in the breakfast room was intolerably tense.

  When she and Ana first entered the room and took their seats, Kitty and Lydia were sitting together on the opposite side of the table, facing the door. Both girls broke into whispers and giggles while staring at her, immediately followed by both Jane and Mr. Bingley deeply blushing, which made Elizabeth wonder what had been said about her before she entered.

  Probably anticipating the worst to happen now that Elizabeth had arrived, Mary
motioned Ana over to sit next to her. Mary went on to, quite blatantly, distract Ana from what else was going on in the room.

  Jane immediately tried to include Elizabeth in her conversation with Mr. Bingley, but Elizabeth could not concentrate on what they said. The weight of her mother’s icy glare was too disturbing.

  In an attempt to distract herself, she thought about passing Mr. Hill, who was standing outside the door in the corridor. Where was her father? After all, he sent word for her to go to the breakfast room so that he could watch over all the ladies at the same time, but he was missing. Perhaps he felt that Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hill were enough to protect them, however, she was convinced her mother might behave a little better if he were in the room. She was just about to seek him out when Mrs. Hill entered and curtsied.

  “Sorry to interrupt, ma'am,” Mrs. Hill said to Elizabeth’s mother, “but there’s a visitor to see Miss Elizabeth.”

  Her mother looked down her nose at Elizabeth before returning her attention to Mrs. Hill. “Who could possibly wish to see her?”

  Mrs. Hill swallowed hard. “Lady Catherine de Bourgh, ma'am. She is waiting in the parlour.”

  Elizabeth raised her brows as everyone at the table turned to gawk at her.

  Though Lady Catherine was not her favourite person and she would much rather wait until her nephews returned from wherever they had gone, she could not leave the lady in the parlour with nothing to do. She had to go see Lady Catherine, and as Ana was her niece, so should she.

  Elizabeth stood. Of course, Mr. Bingley did, as well.

  “Ana, shall we go together to greet your aunt?”

  All eyes settled on Ana.

  Poor Ana seemed terrified, and Elizabeth could understand why. Lady Catherine was quite intense.

  Ana hesitated a moment, straightened her spine, nodded, and rose.

  Once in the corridor, Ana grabbed hold of Elizabeth’s arm and whispered, “Please do not leave me alone with Aunt Catherine, Lizzy.”

  She imagined Ana had never met with her aunt without another member of the family running interference for her. Elizabeth would do her best to do the same.