Danni to Pieces: Book One: Forced

by L. T. Varner

  No such luck, he was asleep in the driver’s seat as I approached our bus. These spoiled little rock stars are not going to get the best of me. I walked back on the bus defiantly.

  “You come back to strip for us, baby?” the creepy one asked.

  I rolled my eyes, grabbing my phone off the couch before walking out. Who needs people like that? My phone went off, and it was the stage manager texting that I was up for the last run-through. Immersing my mind in work seemed to be exactly what I needed to forget the two idiots on the bus.

  The run-through went well as I was putting Dad’s guitars back the way he had always liked them arranged. Walking off the stage, I noticed that the two idiots from the bus were standing on the bridge watching me. I thought it would be safer to go back to the bus and hide.

  The sun was setting, and Dad was talking about the interviews and how they always seem to ask the same questions and maybe he was starting to get too old for this business. I laughed, knowing retirement was something he could never do.

  The first band started as the lights came up and Dad said he was going to get ready. I went to make sure everything was ready for him.

  When I rounded the corner by the stage, I was overwhelmed by that sweet smell and had to stop for a minute. Staying out of the drug scene was hard since it was everywhere on the road. The thought of turning everything off for a little bit seemed pretty appealing at that moment. So far, I had been able to keep my head down and stay away from it, but this time, everything in my body screamed for the drug. I stood there for a little bit just enjoying the smell, contemplating what to do next.

  Loud arguing answered my question for me. It was Collin, and he seemed to have his hands full with a fired-up bottle-blond. Something about a “wandering eye.”

  Hours later, after forcing myself to behave and watch the show, I figured I had better get back to the bus. Dad always wanted to go as soon as they were done, and he knew I was ready to head back home. I had been away for two months now, and I think we were both ready for a little downtime.

  I knew he was worried about me going home and falling back into the old pattern I had started in the last six months. I had been text messaging James off and on the whole time. He constantly told me to come home, saying he would take care of me. He didn’t bring up the night in the cabin and my famous meltdown. It was one of those subjects I couldn’t bring myself to talk about, and yet it was always on the tip of my tongue. Honestly, I was nervous to face James. I didn’t know exactly how I felt about him. He was sweet, charming, and good looking. But, for some reason, I was just unable to get past the whole “feelings” thing. I wasn’t ready to have a relationship. Being gone for two months had put that into perspective for me.

  I knocked on the bus door after discovering it was locked. Frank let me in, smiling. Walking on the bus, I saw my dad talking to the two idiots from earlier. I wanted to turn around and run, but it was too late. My dad started introducing me to them.

  “Baby girl, let me introduce you to Collin and Rick. They are in the band Dark Pieces. Boys, this is my daughter, Danni.”

  REALLY?!! Collin Tabert was the lead singer and Rick was the bass player from none other than one of my favorite bands. Well, now that was ruined for me. Mike and I had seen them in concert four different times. They put on a great show. Collin had long hair until he recently cut it off and perhaps that is why I had not recognized him.

  My dad introduced me as his daughter, and the look on their faces was priceless. I played along, pretending I hadn’t met them earlier and just let it be. Funny, with my dad around, they were complete gentlemen. I tried to pull my hand away from Collin’s handshake, but he kept it and said, “I heard you earlier during run-through, and I am impressed. You obviously know your way around a guitar.”

  Yanking my hand back, I said, “Thanks. It was nice to meet the both of you.”

  “Baby girl, let us finish up some business and we will head home.”

  I nodded at Dad, went to the back of the bus, and shut the door. My heart was hammering in my chest, and my hands were all sweaty. God, Collin was so damn sexy and those eyes, WOW!

  About an hour later, the lights went down, and the bus started moving finally. Dad came to the back and thanked me for being polite to Collin and Rick, even though Frank had already informed him how they had treated me. He said they had approached him about working together on a couple of projects, and he was interested. Also, after I excused myself, Collin had questioned him about me. He thought they seemed a little scared of me. He had told me, ever since I was young, people were scared of me. For some reason, I was often told I was a very intimidating person. I never understood why people thought that, and still don’t. Mike had tried to explain my behavior to me a few times, but I still didn’t understand.

  Truth-be-told, I had had a crush on Collin for the last couple years. I didn’t know if it was because he was a rock star or a little bit of a bad boy. I never thought I would meet him, and now I wish I never had.

  My dad told me a little bit about the work they wanted to do together and that he had invited them to his ranch in Texas.

  “You’re going back home?” I asked, surprising myself at the sadness in my voice.

  He looked at me, a bit startled.

  “I thought you needed some space.”

  “I just like having you around, Dad.”

  “I could move to South Dakota, all you would have to do is ask,” he said, with a huge grin on his face.

  I didn’t even say the words and he knew my answer.

  I wasn’t home long before I realized Mark had pretty much moved in with us. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Mike just kept saying that they weren’t living together. Mark was only staying over occasionally; he assured me. I knew better. I was used to living with Mike and having him around, but Mark always seemed to be where you didn’t want him. I had never owned a robe, but now I needed one. I still was unsure of what I thought of Mark: he seemed nice with good intentions, but there was something about him that I just wasn’t sure about. My dad had mentioned that he thought I was a little jealous of him with all the attention he got from Mike. Maybe I did just need to give him a chance, but it was easier just to ignore him. Mike and I had gotten into an argument one night about how I treated Mark, and we both agreed that I could be nicer to him and that he could perhaps not stay at our house every night.

  After two weeks of being home with them, I told Mike that they needed to stay at Mark’s for a while because I was ready to kill one of them. So, Mike decided they would go to Hawaii for a romantic getaway. This was music to my ears. I assured him that I could take care of the bar and that it was a very good idea for them to go. I even volunteered to drive them to the airport.

  Sitting in the office one day working with Jackie, after I apologized to her for my past behavior I asked if she had heard anything new about the assault. She doubted if the cops would ever figure anything out and I knew she was right. By now, I thought it was just a mystery to them; it had been months since I had heard from any of them. Besides, it was easier not thinking about it. Whenever they were around asking questions, I always learned some painful detail I was unaware of, which would trigger me to make a wrong decision and end up doing something I shouldn’t.

  Jackie asked, “Have you talked to James lately?”

  “We text each other occasionally, but we haven’t seen each other since I left with my dad.”

  “Oh, have you heard what he’s up to now?”

  I shook my head, and she explained in detail that Amber’s boyfriend, Ron, had been put in jail for assault for sixty days. Well, that makes sense, I thought. When James had dropped me off after my meltdown, he kept saying he had something to do, and now I realized it had been Amber. The way James had talked about her, I knew he liked her more than friends. It didn’t bother me considering we were just friends. Jackie went on to inform me that Ron was getting out of jail the following week. Amber would be right back at his si
de because she loved everything he supplied her with.

  “What about James?” I asked.

  “You will probably hear from him again. Are you aware that James is in love with both Amber and you?”

  I laughed at her and said, “We are just friends.”

  “Only because he didn’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for.”

  “No, Jackie, it’s not that way between us. You’ve got it all wrong.”

  The last night in the cabin popped into my head, how he kissed me and I liked it. That is until it started becoming more than kissing.

  She brought me back to earth asking, “You realize how much James and Mike hate each other right?”

  Mike had a way of stepping in to try and protect me, and James was something he thought was bad for me.

  “James was a friend when I needed someone to talk to, plus he is easy to be around and not feel judged.”

  She explained Mike’s jealousy. How he was trying to be that person for me and I just pushed him away. How much it had hurt him. I knew I was horrible to him after the assault. They had talked about it, and she mentioned that he had even cried because he didn’t know how to help me. Mike was jealous of James, also trying to protect me from him at the same time. He had known exactly why I liked to be with James, and that I was messed up in the drug scene. Mike had even reached out to my dad for help and was told that I would come around, but I needed to do it on my terms. I realized then that my father did know me better than I thought. We talked more about the bar, all the gossip I had missed, and everything else in between.

  We finished all the work just in time for the crowd to start rolling in. I stood behind the bar and realized how much I missed it at times. It was fun to serve drinks and watch people change after getting a little alcohol in them. The night flew by and soon it was closing time. I thought about the last time I closed up, instantly getting the chills. I decided it wasn’t going to get to me this time. Jackie seemed more anxious to make sure I got out safely than anything else. I assured her I was fine and went home to a nice quiet house for a change.

  I was trying to get my dad off the phone so I could head to the airport to pick up the love birds, but he just kept talking. He wanted me to look at homes with a realtor for him. With all these demands he had, I didn’t know if we could find anything for him. I agreed that tomorrow I would make Mike go with me and look. He told me that he was going to make it to the street dance to see me back on stage with the band and that he just needed to clear up some work stuff.

  Finally, heading to the airport, a thunderstorm was raging, and it made seeing the road difficult. Somehow I made it to the airport just in time to watch their plane land. Mike and Mark got off the plane, both very tan and seemingly more in love than ever.

  All the way home they talked about the trip and how great it had been to get away and lounge on the beach all day. I had been to Hawaii a couple of times, and I never found it that great, but I had never been there in love either.

  I cringed, hearing the radio play my former favorite band, Dark Pieces.

  Mike laughed, asking how much I liked them now. I thought about that day on the bus with the two idiots, thankful they were easy to get out of my head. I ignored his joke.

  “By the way, Mike, tomorrow you’re going with me to look at houses for Dad.”

  “Can Mark come?”

  Out of the backseat, Mark replied, “I have stuff I need to do tomorrow, so you two go without me.”

  He winked at me in the rearview mirror. I shot a smile back to him, thinking that maybe he finally understood I needed Mike’s time, as well.

  We got home, and they started to unpack but were talking more about the trip and everything they had done. Mark had somehow managed to get Mike in the ocean even though it had been something he had been afraid of his whole life. Of course, they had plenty of pictures and little mementos they brought back with them.

  Lying in bed that night, I thought about texting James, wondering if he was with Amber. I could hear Jackie’s words in my head about how James was in love with both of us. I started to think about him that way, wondering if I did have feelings for him. I could not come up with an answer.

  Chapter 6

  Defective

  A week later, Mike and I finally went house hunting for Dad. When we walked into the ninth place, I realized Mike knew my father’s taste better than I did.

  It was an old two-story country school in the middle of nowhere, nestled in among lots of trees. The house needed a lot of renovation to be even livable, having been abandoned for the last five years. You could tell that people had used it as a party house at some point with graffiti on the walls and holes in the floor. There was a total of four buildings that went with it. In what was once the main schoolhouse, there were twenty rooms including a full-size gym with a stage. It was awesome, to say the least. As we stepped from room to room, I started talking without thinking about it, planning what each space could be and all the things that could be done. I stopped, realizing Mike was staring at me with his mouth open.

  “What?” I asked, not knowing if I had said something wrong.

  “You like it more for yourself than for your dad,” he accused, smiling at me.

  He was right: I did like it a lot.

  “What do you think of me buying a home and us not living together?” I blurted out.

  “Danni, we can’t live together forever. Besides, my hot boyfriend annoys you,” he said, laughing.

  I had put in an offer before we left. The place was a steal, as the county still had ownership and just wanted to get rid of it. The look on the realtor’s face was priceless; he looked as though he had just won the lottery. Now I just had to wait to see if they took the offer.

  We got back into town just in time for lunch, so we headed to the diner. While we ate, we talked more about me moving out and making way for Mark. I could tell it was something the two of them had discussed before. Mike confirmed my suspicions by saying he was scared to talk to me about it because we had always lived together and it would be weird for us to live apart.

  Finally, it was the night of the street dance, and the weather could not have been better.

  The house band was performing for the first time in almost ten months. Rehearsals were tough since we’d added new songs and new members. My ten-month absence was noticeable. We worked hard for the last couple weeks getting our sound just right and, so far, I liked it more than our previous lineup. Kendrick, our lead singer, had kept me up-to-date on our band. He was our local attorney and town playboy. Even though Kendrick was ten years older than me, I found him magnificent looking. Unfortunately, mix that with his heavy flirting and he could gain the attention of any willing woman. He and I were the only two original members left in the band.

  In the past, I had put a lot of effort into my appearance when we played, but now I didn’t give a damn. I threw on a pair of faded jeans, a bar shirt, and sneakers. A baseball cap with my wild, dark brown hair tucked in the back rounded out the look. Mike had noticed how much I wore hats lately and, surprisingly, said that he liked the look. He may have liked it, but all I cared about was the shadows it afforded me. I just didn’t want people to look at me now that I was that woman they whispered about, ‘the one who was raped.’

  After going through the last sound check, the gates opened, and it quickly got crowded and loud. Lots of people were glad we were playing again. Backstage, I quickly shut people down when they tried to console me or give me some encouragement. I was not about to talk to anyone about what happened. Why couldn’t they just let it go?

  Standing behind a speaker, I saw my dad sitting in the sound tent with his guests. I was still mad that he had brought those two idiots along, as well as the other two from their band. I avoided Collin and his goons the whole day since they had arrived. The funny thing was, nobody seemed to realize who they were. All of them were able to blend in without being noticed. Mike was excited to meet them but
was too busy getting the bar and staff ready for the street dance.

  Finally, it was time. I was a little nervous and excited. I nodded toward Kendrick as he started talking to the crowd, walked out onto the stage, and just went for it. The first song we played had heavy guitar riffs, lots of hooks and was a bar favorite. The looks on Collin and Rick’s faces were of total shock as I played and sang backup. My father smiled the whole time, giving me his “I am proud of you” look. I forgot about them and concentrated on the music, letting myself simply get lost in it.

  After an hour of playing full-speed, it was time for a break, and I needed it. As I jumped down, Mike was standing there with a beer for me, saying we sounded great. He had been walking around with the camcorder so we could post some footage on the website tomorrow. He made his way around the crowd, and I headed in the direction of my dad.

  “You guys were amazing. I think you sound better than ever!” he said, putting his arms around me.

  “Well, I did learn from the best!” I said as I grinned. He laughed and pulled me closer to his side, gestured toward the idiots.

  “You remember Collin and Rick. This is Daniel and Jake, the other members of their band.”

  “It’s good to see you again,” I said with just enough sarcasm laced in my tone.

  Dad immediately shot me a look. Mike walked up, and Dad introduced him as well.

  “It’s very cool to meet you guys. We are big fans and have seen you live four times!” Mike excitedly said, sounding like a teenage fan meeting the latest Pop artist. I didn’t know if I should laugh or feel embarrassed for him.

  Collin smiled devilishly at me and said, “You do like us. I thought so.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and called Mike a dumbass in Spanish. That was one of the benefits of Rosa raising us: we learned Spanish together. It came in handy several times when we needed to have a private conversation in a group of people.