Danni to Pieces: Book One: Forced

by L. T. Varner

He laughed and simply said, “With Ron. Why are you concerned with her, anyway?”

  “I was hoping you were single?”

  He jokingly said, “Sorry, I’m saving myself for someone,” as he winked at me.

  He made me laugh and feel more relaxed, but I knew we were being watched.

  “James, maybe we should take our party somewhere else,” I said as I leaned into his neck with my fingers in his hair.

  “I would rather put on a little show for Collin. He pissed me off at Thanksgiving when he kicked me out,” he said as he started kissing my neck.

  “Collin doesn’t care what I do. That’s his fiancée sitting with him.”

  He smiled down at me and said, “Even better.”

  Ironically, that’s when one of Collin’s steamier songs came on over the speakers. James and I began grinding on each other.

  He whispered in my ear, “I was hoping that we could pick up where we left off before the cops stopped us.”

  I looked at him with my naughty smile and said, “Definitely. Can we go back to your place?”

  “How about we start the party here?” He pulled something out of his shirt pocket.

  I had to ask, “Is that the party?”

  He smiled and said, “Let’s get started.”

  Right there, in front of everyone on the dance floor, he kissed me. Not a simple, quick kiss either. It was a make-you-forget-your-name kind of kiss, and it felt so good. I kissed him back, and I suddenly wasn’t concerned about who was watching or where I was. I was very turned on, just wanting to go to his place so I could undress him. He was kissing my neck at this point while running his hands over all the right places as mine made their way inside his shirt.

  “I want to go now,” I mumbled through our heavy breathing.

  He came back to my lips, and, in between kisses, he said, “Think of this as foreplay.”

  He had popped a pill before he resumed our kissing. He passed me the pill with his tongue, and I swallowed it as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Daniel.

  “Dance with me,” he stated, without looking away from my eyes.

  James said, “I needed to use the bathroom, then we can go.”

  After watching James walk toward the bathroom, Daniel grabbed me by the waist and started dancing with me.

  “What the hell are you doing, Danni?” he asked, and it wasn’t in his usual upbeat way.

  “Nothing, Daniel. I’m all right.”

  “Liar. This wouldn’t make you feel any better. You know everyone is concerned that you are about to make a huge mistake right now.”

  Perhaps it was the whiskey or James, but I didn’t care. I was just finding numbness.

  “I don’t care what any of you think. Get Collin and his stupid fiancée the hell out of my bar.”

  Daniel chuckled and replied, “You don’t mean that. You’re just angry, and you have every right to be, but don’t do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”

  James walked back up to us, and Daniel put his hands up in a surrendering move before he turned around and walked away. James didn’t ask what happened or what was said. He just started kissing me again. He consumed me. I couldn’t help but want more of him. He pushed me off the dance floor until we were up against a wall in a darker corner. We were getting very carried away with hands, lips, and rubbing. I needed him now before I let the voices from my nightmares tear me down again.

  I said, “Wait for me out front while I grab my coat.” He gave me a quick kiss on the lips before heading for the door.

  Back in the office, I started pulling on my coat when I heard someone behind me as the door shut.

  “Are you numbing yourself with that fucking loser?” I instantly knew it was Collin, and he sounded mad.

  “I’m trying.”

  “Where are you going?”

  I didn’t know if I was jealous of his fiancée or just didn’t care; I told him the truth. “I’m going with James to have mind-blowing sex.”

  “NO! That is just stupid. You can’t,” he yelled as his hand came down on the desk, hard.

  Very bluntly, I fired back, “Why not? I’m sure you’re going to fuck your fiancée tonight. I don’t want you to do that.” This moment of honesty seemed to surprise both of us.

  He just stood there looking at me for a minute, and then said in a more concerned tone, “Because I don’t want you to either, Danni. Please, just talk to me.”

  I bumped into him as I stormed out of my office. I was done with this conversation. He followed me, grabbing me by the arm and spinning me around. “Please. I’m asking you not to do this.”

  I pulled my arm back and just looked at him more frustrated than before. I turned away and headed for the door.

  Chapter 15

  Coffee Anyone

  James dropped me off at the bar, so I could get my SUV from the garage after more kissing and touching goodbye for the day. My head was pounding from a major hangover. After we had left the bar the night before, we drove around in the country finishing the whiskey and remaining pills. I realized what I had done when I woke up naked next to him. I knew we had had sex, just by how sore I was in a particular region of my body. I was glad I didn’t remember most of it. In my head, it was the perfect way to get the first time since the assault out of the way.

  Dammit, I thought, seeing a huge line in the drive-thru at the diner. Deciding just to go inside, I wish I would have realized what a mistake I was going to be making. Wearing the same clothes from last night and looking like I had been up all night, I froze, seeing my dad, Collin, and all the band members sitting there eating breakfast.

  Wow, this is awkward. I pushed my sunglasses up when I was asked for my order. I hoped they would all ignore me or maybe not realize it was me. There was a tap on my shoulder after I placed my order. I turned, and Daniel, with a smile on his face, knew my humiliation.

  “Can I buy you breakfast?” he asked, handing the cashier money for my coffee.

  “No thanks, sweet Daniel. I was just getting a cup of coffee to go,” I said, stuffing my debit card back inside my wallet.

  He had a huge smile on his face and said, “Come on, you must be starving and you know greasy food helps a hangover.”

  I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He could read my moods and body language better than Mike could, and it made me nervous. The clerk sat my cup of coffee in a to-go cup on the counter, and Daniel picked it up.

  “You want this? You have to come get it.” He headed back to his table with my coffee.

  The clerk asked, “You want a new cup?”

  I smiled and said, “I’m pretty sure I can get it back, but he is an evil little man.”

  I was going to kill Daniel for this as he sat there taunting me with my coffee. I sat down with Dad. Collin was sitting on the opposite side of the table with Daniel. I decided to keep my sunglasses on and try not to make eye contact with anyone. My dad said good morning and asked if he could talk to me later; I nodded. I knew he would be upset. Hell, even I hated that I had done that to myself.

  Collin had not yet looked up at me, and I knew he was angry. I thought he can’t be mad at me for anything. I don’t belong to him, or to anyone, for that matter.

  After I hit Daniel in the arm, he finally gave me my coffee and asked, “You sure you don’t want something to eat?”

  “I have a few things I need to do,” I mumbled, adjusting my sunglasses again. But, going to the police station wasn’t one of them.

  Without even looking up from his plate, Collin muttered, “Like fuck James.”

  I rolled my eyes and Dad must have kicked Collin under the table since he flinched. I said goodbye and headed for the door. I got in my car when a text from Daniel chimed:

  Daniel: Sorry!! He is such an asshole! It was uncalled for.

  Can we have dinner tonight?

  Me: Sounds great. I’ll call you later with where and when.

  Daniel: Super! I have something to ask you, boobless ;)


  Mike was in the office working when I arrived home. I sat on the couch as he looked up at me.

  “What are you doing?” I asked as I noticed he was very chipper this morning.

  “I’m waiting to talk to you,” he said as a huge grin came over his face.

  I said, “You don’t seem mad at me. Why is that exactly?”

  “Why would I be? You’re an adult. I may not agree with everything you do, but they are your choices. The only person that seemed mad last night was Collin, and he had no reason to be,” he stated as he sat by me on the couch.

  We talked for a while, and somehow I gave up the details of last night with James. Mike was glad I was starting to get back out there again, and I seemed happy considering the detectives’ visit last night. I told him the truth: part of me did it out of my newly-admitted jealousy toward Collin and Steph. Of course, Mike had already put that together. I told him how I felt about James and that I wasn’t sure I had the same feelings for him that he seemed to have for me. I joked that I should keep testing the water to find out, and Mike burst out laughing.

  “You are completely back to your old normal self,” Mike said after his fit of laughter. I rolled my eyes and changed the subject.

  We talked about bar business a little bit before I asked, “Where is Mark?”

  The look on his face wasn’t quite right as his smile disappeared.

  “We decided to take a break for a while. Mark has been pushing the marriage issue, and I don’t know if that is something I want to do yet,” he said, looking out the window.

  I replied, “I’m surprised. I thought you always wanted the family thing.”

  “I am taking a page from your book by not being sure of what I want.”

  I had to laugh at him. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

  We made plans to go to a bonfire party at Jackie’s place later tonight. I mentioned that I didn’t know anything about it, and he said she had sent him an email that morning and was hoping we would come.

  After a very long nap and careful planning, I got everything worked out. I could have dinner with Daniel, go to the party with Mike, and spend the night with James. He had text messaged me once saying he couldn’t wait to see me, but that he had to work until ten.

  I met Daniel at the pizza place. He was sitting in a booth drinking a beer when I arrived. We talked about last night’s events and he again apologized and mentioned that everyone eating breakfast with us thought that what Collin had said was cruel. I asked how long they were staying, and he said two more days. He told me Dad walked them around the schoolhouse and that he loved it, joking that he had even found the perfect room for when he comes to stay with me, and I laughed knowing he was serious. We ate pizza and talked some more, and I asked how he liked having all the girlfriends hanging around. He hated it. It wasn’t because Daniel didn’t have a girlfriend; it was because Rick and his wife fought the whole time and Collin changed when he was around his fiancée. He said that she was bossy and always got her way, and even mocked her with a whiny voice and hand movements. I couldn’t help but laugh. He thought Steph liked Collin’s money more than Collin himself.

  Daniel’s tone changed as he said, “I have something to ask you, and you can’t laugh. I’m serious.”

  I laughed and said, “No, Daniel. I’ve told you before; I won’t be your fuck buddy.”

  He put his beer down and placed his hand on his chest dramatically. “I’m hurt. I told you, ‘friends that fuck,’ not ‘fuck buddies!’ That is just mean.”

  I rolled my eyes at his ability to make everything dirty.

  “Danni, would you please be my plus one for Collin’s wedding?”

  I started choking on my pizza when I realized he was serious. He sat there watching my reaction while he gave me his best puppy-dog face.

  “Are you crazy? I absolutely have no desire to go whatsoever. I would rather be dragged over hot coals than go!”

  Then, all sweet, he asked, “Would you please do it for me? I would be honored if you were my date.”

  “When is it?” I asked, hating myself for so quickly caving into him.

  “July 29th.,” he said as I snorted with laughter, pointing at him like he was making this shit up.

  “Why is that funny, Danni?” he asked, looking confused as hell.

  “Oh, sweet Daniel, that’s my birthday, you know that!” I answered when he started laughing hysterically, too. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”

  “I will take that as a yes and RSVP. Would you like steak or lobster?” he asked, pretending to write it down.

  I just shook my head knowing it was a losing battle with Daniel. It was only February, so I knew I had plenty of time to get out of it. We talked some more about our plans for the night, and I told him about the bonfire party. He was much more interested in it and stated he would find us after the video shoot. I chuckled as I asked if he got the half-naked girls he wanted and he joked that that was always the first thing they got rid of. He also told me that the wives and girlfriends had left that morning to go home. I was relieved not to have to witness any more of Collin and his fiancée all over each other. Daniel mentioned he got tired of watching it himself. Walking out of the restaurant, he said if they got done early, he would find me. I told him it was out in the middle of nowhere, and he wouldn’t be able to find it. He just laughed and joked that he could always find me.

  I stopped by the house and picked up Mike. Holding a bottle of whiskey, he climbed into the SUV. He punched the address into the navigation system and away we went. He asked about James and I told him he had to work until ten, and we would just catch up with each other later. I said that Daniel had asked me to be his date to Collin’s wedding, and then he chuckled when I added that it was on my birthday. He ended up in tears because he was laughing so hard.

  We shared the bottle of whiskey while we drove out to Jackie’s and talked more about the Mark and Collin situations. Neither one of us knew what to do or if we even wanted to do anything. I had forgotten how much fun Mike and I always had together about the time he said it out loud.

  We finally found Jackie’s place and were shocked at how many cars were there already. I asked Mike how many people she had invited, and from what he had heard, it was pretty much everyone in town. After parking, we walked out to the middle of the field where the fire was going. Jackie came and hugged me and stated she was glad I was there. She started explaining where the beer was before stopping. “Never mind, what you two want is over there,” as she pointed to the table with the hard liquor on it. We smiled and headed in that direction. We got a drink and found a table where we could watch the fire and stay warm. As I was sitting down, I heard a voice that I had hoped not to hear again.

  “Hey, Danni, I haven’t seen you for a while,” Ron said, walking by me toward the beer table. This can’t be good.

  “Hi, Ron, how are you?” I asked, hoping to keep talk to a minimum.

  Mike looked at me and asked quietly, “Who is that?”

  I casually looked away and said, “Ron, or more commonly known as my dealer.”

  By the look on his face, he knew exactly who Ron was and didn’t seem eager to talk to him either Jackie walked by asking if we had found a drink and I nodded at her. She walked over and sat on Ron’s lap. I couldn’t look away. He put his arm around her and his free hand on her thigh. Mike and I were sitting on a bench and practically fell off when we saw them, appearing very much together.

  Mike looked at me and knew exactly what that meant. If Jackie was with Ron, that meant Amber was with James again. Mike put his arm around me and asked if I wanted to leave, but I shook my head no.

  I pulled out my phone when it vibrated. Speak of the devil: James. I casually stood up and walked away from the crowd.

  Trying to sound happy, I said, “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Sorry. I won’t be able to make it tonight. Something has come up,” he said, sounding as casual as ever.

  I laughed and said, �
�James, I’m not dumb, so don’t play games with me.”

  “What the fuck do you mean by that?”

  “James, I’m not stupid. Ron is at this party with Jackie hanging on him. I know that means Amber is with you. Am I correct in that assumption?” I asked, hoping he would say no.

  After a couple of moments of silence, he said, “You know how I feel about you. Nothing has changed between us.”

  I laughed and sarcastically responded, “So, is that why you’re with someone who runs back to Ron every five minutes?” He said nothing.

  After a few seconds, he let out a long sigh. “Listen, Danni, you are fun to play with, and we have a lot of things in common. You also know I am not interested in one woman. That hasn’t changed. Now listen to me carefully. Please do your thing and I will do mine as we always have. Have fun at your party, and if you want, you can stop by later.”

  “Why the hell would I stop by with Amber there?” I yelled into the phone since I couldn’t believe that he would even say that to me.

  “Not just Amber, her friend Anne is also here. You are welcome to join. I would prefer if you did, but I realize Amber is not your favorite person. Just have fun at the party, okay?”

  Mike had walked up and stood by me as I was talking to James. I hit the end button on the phone when he reached over and grabbed for it. I was close to stomping on it, and he knew I broke a lot of phones. He put his hand on my back and said how sorry he was, and we stood there for a little bit so I could compose myself. Apparently now I was a crier, which pissed me off even further. I hate when others cry around me. I have walked away from it many times. Not that I didn’t have sympathy for people, just don’t ask me to make you feel better when I’m far from fine myself.

  Mike grabbed the drink out of my hand, downed the last of it, and then threw the cup on the ground angrily. Grabbing my hand, he said he knew what would make me feel better, and I didn’t have it in me to argue. We stopped at my car, and he took the keys and motioned me to get in.

  As I put my seat belt on, I asked, “Where are we going?”

  He smiled as he started my SUV and said, “We’re going to do something we haven’t done in years, and I’m sure it will make both of us feel better.”