by L. T. Varner
I laughed and said, “No. Remember, I am moving tomorrow. Why don’t you help me?”
“Is my room ready? Did they deliver my stuff?” he asked, more serious now.
Yes, I had caved and let him claim the room across the hall from mine. He had it painted and decorated the way he wanted, although I put my foot down when a contractor tried to install a sex swing in the middle of the room.
“Whenever you get here, it will be ready. Yes, they delivered your furniture,” I said, rolling my eyes. He was persistent with decorating questions since I let him have it.
“Seriously, Daniel, have you seen them?” I asked, more frustrated after dumping my cosmetics bag upside down and not finding them there either.
I could hear someone else talking to him, and then he said, “Wait a minute, Collin is trying to talk to me.”
My heartbeat sped up just thinking about him and now, even more so, faintly hearing his voice in the background. Daniel came back on and said in a weird tone, “Danni, have you looked in the side pocket of your red suitcase?”
“I never put them there,” I insisted as I walked to my closet to find the suitcase.
“You might want to check,” he said, more annoyed than anything.
I stopped and asked, “Daniel, you okay?”
“I’m not sure. It strongly depends on what someone is up to, or if I have to kick his ass,” Daniel said, I wondered if he was talking about Collin now.
“Just a minute, Daniel,” I said, putting my phone on the dresser in the closet as I pulled out my suitcase. I placed the bag on the bed and picked up my phone again.
“I knew they wouldn’t be there . . .” I said when I found the headphones and started pulling them out. “Hey, I found them . . .” I said as I trailed off when I saw an envelope fall on the floor. “Daniel, let me call you back.”
“What is going on?” he asked in a demanding voice.
“I’m not sure. I will call you back,” I said, hanging up and throwing my phone on the bed.
I sat down and grabbed the envelope with my heart going a hundred miles an hour. There was nothing on the outside of the plain white envelope, and I wondered if I should just leave it sealed. I just knew it had to be from Collin, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to see what he had to say. I sat there holding it in my hands for a good twenty minutes before I decided to open it. I hit ignore on my phone before muting it as Daniel kept calling.
I pulled out the piece of paper in the envelope, unfolded it, and looked at the letter. It simply had three words on it:
I am sorry
What the hell? Is that all he has to say to me? I crumpled it up and threw it across the room as Daniel called again.
“WHAT?” I yelled in a not-so-nice tone.
Daniel asked, “What is it?
I just said mockingly, “I am sorry.”
“Is that fucking all?” Daniel snapped.
I repeated it again, and he could tell by my tone of voice that it made me mad.
He calmly asked, “Do I have permission to kick his ass now?”
“Knock yourself out.”
What an ass, I kept thinking. Just when I am putting some distance between us, he does this. Ugh, I just wanted to forget Seattle ever happened.
I put my headphones on, turned the music loud, and decided to pack instead of calling Collin to yell at him.
It is amazing what you can do with the right music and no phone. I was finally done with my room when I noticed my phone vibrating. Wanting to make sure Daniel wasn’t hurt, I picked up my phone. I didn’t recognize the number, so I let it go to voicemail to see if they would leave a message. Sure enough, they did. I listened to the message and had to play it three more times before I heard it right. No way! It was from a popular music magazine, asking to talk to me about doing an interview and a photo shoot.
Instantly, I called my dad. He would know how to deal with it. We talked for a while about what he thought it could do for my writing career. I was for that, but I never wanted to have pictures taken. He reminded me of the music video, and I cringed. I didn’t know what to do.
Thirty minutes later he brought up Seattle.
“What does Daniel think? Or did you two talk more about a particular older brother?” Dad asked. I knew he was digging for details.
“I haven’t called him yet. Daniel is kicking his brother’s ass right now, so he is busy,” I said, trying to hide my smile.
“Ah, yes, he called me about that a little bit ago. What exactly happened on your trip?” he asked while laughing.
Sitting down on the bathroom floor, I caved. I laid it all out for my dad, bad decisions and all. It felt right to tell him and get his take on the whole situation.
“Baby girl, I’m not surprised. What is it between you and Collin that you two can’t stay away from each other?”
I laughed and said, “I don’t know, but I need to figure out how to stay away from him.”
He laughed and said, “I don’t know if either of you could do that.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad.”
I made it through the move the next day, barely. With movers, Mike, Mark, Rosa, Dad, Kendrick, and Chuck, we finished shortly before we all needed to get to the bar. The house band was playing that night and Rosa assured me she had it all under control, insisting that when I got back later, everything would be done.
While playing that night and doing the standard bar thing, I couldn’t shake the whole magazine thing and still wondered what to do. I didn’t tell Mike or Daniel about it, knowing they would try to make the decision for me.
Taking our final break, two guys in suits walked over to me as my heart started hammering in my chest. If these two were cops, I was going to freak the fuck out. I was sick to death of being questioned about my memory of the assault. Hell yes, I remembered much more now, but I wasn’t about to tell any of them. Ever!
One of them handed me a business card and asked if they could speak to me. I read it and sighed in relief, realizing they were from the magazine. I showed them to my office and told them to have a seat.
“What do you want with me? I’m not a model and have no plans to become one,” I stated, a matter of fact.
The younger one said, “Exactly! You are a musician and a pretty good one from what we just saw. I won’t lie either. You are beautiful, and we would love for you to model for us.”
The older one asked, “Did your father teach you how to play?”
I laughed and asked, “Are you trying to interview me now?” I knew too many reporters who tried to get people to say the wrong thing so they could completely blow it out of context and use it against them later. I wasn’t about to let that happen now.
The older one smiled, looking amused, “Good point. Let me tell you our idea first.”
The younger one leaned forward and said, “We heard about the benefit and saw the pictures with your friends in the band ‘Dark Pieces.’ We have done our research on you and learned that you are the woman who stars in their popular video. We would simply like to talk to you about music, writing, growing up with your dad, your relationship with Daniel and Collin Tabert, and perhaps have you pose for us. You don’t have to talk about anything you’re uncomfortable with. And, if you don’t mind, we’d love a side-by-side layout with the band.”
I sat back in my chair and thought about it for a little bit. Why did I do that stupid video? So far it was way more trouble than it had been fun.
The older man added, “If you do it, the magazine will make a large donation to the charity that hosted the benefit you attended with the band.”
Well, I’m a sucker for donating to good causes, so I said, “Fine, I will do it, but here are my demands: I don’t want Daniel and his band to know I am doing it until after my part is done. You can do theirs separately. Otherwise, no pretty pictures of me.”
“We can handle that,” the younger one said as he jotted something down on the piece of paper he had been taking notes on.
They asked if they could stay and take pictures of us playing for the article and I agreed, but only if I got to pick the ones, they used in the article.
Out of habit that night, I headed to Mike’s house, before I realized it and had to turn around. I wondered how long it would take me to get used to going to the schoolhouse. I got home and pulled into the three-car garage, finding myself scared to be alone, but this was a new beginning, and I was somehow ready for it.
I went inside and flipped on the lights, walking up the stairs and seeing that Rosa had been true to her word. It didn’t look like someone was moving in. Instead, it looked like someone had lived there for years. I put my stuff on the kitchen island and walked to my bedroom. It was the exact vision I had had for it when we first looked at the place. It had the exposed red brick walls with an enormous king-size bed and a red couch in front of the fireplace. I couldn’t help myself and walked over and turned it on. I watched the fire for a couple of minutes, reeling at how cozy this felt to me.
I decided I needed a shower and took off my clothes, looking for the laundry hamper, before I found it in the bathroom. I eyed the shower and remembered when Collin had walked into it saying he was looking forward to showering with me. I hated that I wanted to do that with him, but I did more than anything. I stepped in and turned on the water as hot as I could take it. I took the longest shower I think I had ever taken.
Slipping on only underwear and a t-shirt, I thought it was weird that I didn’t have to cover up. I could get used to this. I couldn’t help myself and picked up my phone to call Daniel as I walked back to the kitchen.
“Hey, dirty girl, are you naked?” he asked, sounding like I had woken him up.
“Sorry, I’ll just call you back tomorrow. Sorry to wake you up,” I said in a quieter voice, thinking that was going to help.
“Don’t you dare hang up on me! What are you doing?” he asked before yawning.
I had walked downstairs and, trying to be a little mischievous, I asked, “How sexy would it be to see a half-naked woman walking down a newly renovated schoolhouse while running her finger over the lockers in the dark?”
He groaned and said, “Stop it. You’re waking up more than just my mind, but please continue if there is a chance you will tell me how naked you are. OUCH!”
Sounding like someone hit him, I asked, “Who is that?” I had an idea who it was but hoped I was wrong.
He laughed loudly sounding like he was wrestling with someone and said, “A tall blond with big boobs. Do you want to join us? I could put it on speaker. OUCH, FUCK, COLLIN, THAT FUCKING HURTS!”
After a long wrestling match with both of them cussing, he asked, “Are you in the gym yet?”
“I just walked in. Why?” I asked, flipping on lights.
“Tell me the score,” he said sweetly.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, looking around, confused.
“Look up, Danni.”
I gasped, seeing the brand new scoreboard. It was incredible as I flipped on more lights.
“Daniel, it’s perfect! Why did you do this? It’s too much,” I said through my tears of joy.
“Danni, I didn’t do it. Collin did. He hopes you like it.”
Instead of displaying “Home Team,” it was their band name. The board was beautiful, and I said in a broken voice, “You have to see this, Daniel. It is so cool.”
He asked, “Are you happy with it?”
All I could say was, “Wow!”
“I will take that as a yes. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get back to the blond being that you got me all worked up. I will see you next week,” Daniel said, amused with himself.
After I had hung up with Daniel, I looked at the new scoreboard in awe for twenty minutes. Why did Collin do something so wonderful for me?
I slept well past my alarm the next morning. Trying to make myself get out of bed after another hour, I finally managed. It was so quiet and easy to sleep without anyone there to wake me up. This newfound freedom of living alone was heaven, and I kept telling myself that this was the perfect way to live.
In town at our local gym, I started by running five miles, before asking for a trainer. I needed to tone my body if I was going to pose for pictures. The more I thought about them, the more I wanted to do them. The trainer who met me in the gym was male perfection. Tall, all muscle, with a gorgeous face and smile. “Wow,” was all I could seem to get out after he introduced himself. I didn’t even catch his name. I was so embarrassed when my brain started working again. It had been a little over a month since I had slept with Collin. He must have woken something inside of me that I had ignored for a while. Now it was in the front of my mind and all I could think about with this trainer now smirking at me.
After a very intense workout, I left the gym in sad shape. I was sore from head to toe, not to mention a little sexually frustrated. I did the only thing that I could think of and called Daniel. He picked up on the first ring.
“Talk dirty to me,” I groaned as I drove home.
He did and sounded so sexy while he was doing it. I almost pulled over on the country road to relieve the needy ache.
“FUCK, COLLIN, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU BETTER RUN!” Daniel shouted before coming back on and calmly saying to me, “What’s going on?”
I told him about the gym and the trainer and my sudden need to get laid as he laughed at me.
“Danni, being that I am such a good friend, I would take one for the team and fuck you. Maybe with a bag over your head or something.”
I burst out laughing, and he mumbled something about calling me back.
Lying in bed that night I couldn’t stop thinking about sex. My night with Collin in the hotel was stuck on repeat in my head. I had already taken care of the itch twice since I had gotten home, but I wanted more. Had Collin restored my need for sex? Or, was it just Collin that I needed?
The next couple days I ran with Mike, trying to control my desire and think about anything else. But, it always ended the same way. I would go to the gym and come home and take a long shower while using my new waterproof vibrator Daniel had sent me. I knew it was funny to him, but damn, it did help ease my sex drive.
I was standing in the kitchen talking to Mike after our run one day when someone rang the doorbell. Mike went to see who it was as I was looking for something to eat. I had located some licorice. Unable to find an expiration date, I started eating it anyway. I hated black licorice, but I was starving, and I ate three pieces at a time. Mike walked up the stairs holding a box and set it on the table.
“You order something?” Mike asked as I handed him some scissors and stuffed more licorice in my face. “You really shouldn’t eat crap like that before a photo shoot tomorrow,” Mike said as I stuck my tongue out at him.
He opened the box and started digging through the packing material when he looked at something and said, “Oh my God. Only Daniel would do this!” He pulled an assortment of sex toys out of the box.
I wanted to die and felt myself turn beet red. Mike kept pulling things out and setting them on the table while reading the names off their boxes. At this point, Mike had Daniel on the phone laughing while he read off more names of the products. I just kept eating licorice, trying not to make eye contact with him. I heard my name a couple more times as I threw my wrapper in the trash and went back to the fridge looking for something else.
Mike told Daniel, “She is eating anything she can find. Yesterday I caught her eating cotton candy and marshmallows. She hates that stuff.” I was trying to avoid the toys on the table and the conversation when I found peanut butter and got a spoon.
Mike looked at me and said in a frustrated tone, “Really, Danni? Really?”
“What? It’s protein,” I said as I could tell they were both laughing at me.
They talked a little more, and I heard Mike say “really” and “great” and “I will see you then” before hanging up.
“What was that about?” I as
ked. He took my spoon and put the peanut butter away.
“Just wedding stuff. I think you’re working out too much. The last couple days I swear I have seen you eat anything you can get your hands on,” Mike said while he put the sex toys back in the box before taking it to my room.
He was right. I was eating a lot, but I was nervous as hell, and I was pretty sure I was eating my feelings.
The next morning Mike and I ran again, and my stomach was doing flips. I motioned to Mike to stop for a minute. I leaned over the side of the trail as I put my hands on my knees and threw up.
“You okay?” Mike asked while he started rubbing my back.
“Yeah, I think I am way too nervous about this photo shoot and interview,” I said before throwing up again.
“You think?” He mocked me, being a complete smartass.
After a short break, so I could empty my stomach entirely, we walked the rest of the way back to my house. He talked about wedding plans and how it was only two days away and then the honeymoon to Mexico. I was glad to see him so happy with Mark, although, it was funny how Mike was spending a lot of time at my house whenever Mark was at work.
I got home and ran through the shower, not bothering to put any make-up on or do anything with my hair. Today was the day of the photo shoot and interview, so I knew they would do it there. We had agreed to do the photo shoot at the bar.
“I can’t believe I am doing this at ten in the morning,” I grumbled as the girl in the drive-thru window handed me ice cream and a corn dog. I couldn’t wait to eat it, but decided that after this one, I had to get back to eating right.
On the way to the bar, I scarfed down the corndog before I parked in the back garage. I grabbed the door handle, and it wouldn’t open, it was locked from the inside. Mike and I both bitched numerous times that we needed to get the lock fixed, but neither of us ever did it.
I was trying to juggle my laptop, purse, phone, clothes, and ice cream as I walked to the front while trying to get my keys out. I put the ice cream cup up to my mouth, holding onto it with my teeth while trying to keep hold of everything else. I opened the door and pushed it open, stepping inside to the surprise of my life.
