by L. T. Varner
I dropped my laptop, clothes, but not my ice cream when I saw Daniel, Collin, Rick, and Jake sitting around the bar staring at me.
Before anyone said anything, I held my finger up. I threw my ice cream on the ground as I put my hand over my mouth and went running for the bathroom. I was going to be sick again.
Chapter 27
I Can’t Stay Away
“Surprise! We’re doing the article together,” I heard Daniel say as I fell to my knees in front of the toilet.
After emptying the contents of my stomach yet again that day, I started pulling myself back together. I rinsed out my mouth the best I could, trying not to throw up again. I glanced back at Daniel as he winced and stepped farther back. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t wait until I came out of the bathroom. Sweet Daniel just stood there quietly watching me, knowing I was pissed.
“One: tell me why on Earth you just watched me puke my guts out in the women’s bathroom? And two: what the fuck are you guys doing here?” I practically yelled at him.
Daniel gave his sad puppy dog face and said, “I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, you did, Daniel, and not in a good way,” I said as he followed me back to the bar.
We all said our casual hellos as I tried to lift the bar top, but it wouldn’t open. I had to crawl under it, and I hit my head on the way up and yelled a choice word as everyone turned to look at me. I was mad that they were here and furious with Daniel for not telling me. Hitting my head just made it worse. I walked to the end of the bar and started cleaning up the ice cream that was now melting all over the bar top and floor.
“Can I help you clean that up?” Daniel asked me, trying to be sweet.
I couldn’t stay mad at him no matter how hard I tried, and I nodded while taking a deep breath. Collin, Rick, and Jake were watching us as we quietly cleaned up.
“When did you start eating ice cream this early in the morning?” Daniel asked, throwing the cup and spoon in the trash.
I smiled, looked at him, and said, “Since the box you sent me isn’t working anymore.” They all burst out laughing as Daniel hugged me.
I wanted something. I wasn’t sure if it was to tear Collin’s clothes off, or tear open the bags of chips hanging on the rack. I grabbed the chips and started eating them instead of Collin. Daniel just kept looking at me with a puzzled look on his face.
“What?” I asked as I poured more salt on the chip I was trying to eat.
“Is everything okay? And what the hell are you doing? Salt on already salted chips? Are you trying to have a heart attack or something?” Daniel said, taking the salt shaker from me.
An hour later I was in a pair of barely-there ripped up jeans, a bar T-shirt, and six-inch black heels. The photographer first took some shots of me with my guitar on stage as I played around. Collin stood in front, watching me closely, making it worse. My stomach was already doing flips, and he was not helping me stay focused.
Twenty minutes later I was ready for the bar shots, and I was regretting taking Mike’s advice. “Do it, Danni. You’re gorgeous and have a killer body, show it off,” I could still hear Mike telling me. It was now or never, I thought to myself as I walked over to the bar with my guitar.
Daniel and Collin watched me carefully as they sat against the brick wall talking quietly. Taking the photographer’s directions, I hopped up on the bar as his assistant held my guitar. My heart was ready to beat out of my chest as I pulled off my shirt and bra. I tried to cover my boobs the best I could when I lay back on the top of the bar. The assistant positioned the guitar for me as I felt a million eyes on me. I listened to the photographer’s instructions and arched my back, closing my eyes as the assistant put the guitar carefully over my chest so I would kind of be covered up. He started shooting and telling me to move this way or that way. It wasn’t too bad with my eyes closed.
“Last shot, Danni, go ahead and slip off the rest of your clothes, but keep the shoes on,” the photographer said as I felt myself turn bright red.
I had never felt so many people stare at me before. I could play on stage, but posing for a picture was entirely a foreign idea to me, especially while naked. Mike was such a dumbass for talking me into this.
I knew I should be feeling pretty good about my body, considering I had been working out a lot lately. I undressed while the assistant held up a robe, trying to help me keep some of my dignity. I sat up on the bar and put my feet on the bar stools in front of me as they handed me the guitar. I placed it on the stools, so it covered my nakedness and my arm covered my one boob as the neck of the guitar covered the other. Carefully listening to the directions, I arched my chest out and gave the camera a” sexy, come-get-me smile.” per the photographer.
“Perfect, Danni, tilt your head to the side, open your lips a little, lean forward, and one more, perfect. Got it, you’re done. Thank you, that was great.”
After getting dressed and wiping some of the make-up off, I walked back out to the bar. Collin, Rick, Jake, and Daniel were in their serious poses in a corner booth as they had their pictures taken. I stuck my tongue out at Daniel, and he started laughing.
“What’s with the shirt, Daniel?” I asked, mocking him.
“Oh, don’t you worry, dirty girl, no one will be looking at the magazine for me,” Daniel said as he gave me a dirty smile and they all laughed.
I walked over to the bar and hopped up again to watch them. It was a funny scene to witness because they all acted so serious and I couldn’t help but laugh at them. I grabbed a jar of cherries and started eating them before I grabbed the olives and mixed them together. I wondered if Mike would get mad at me for eating everything. I was starving.
They were finally done, and Daniel came over to me and hopped on the bar beside me. “Have you had enough to eat yet? That is just wrong.” He took the olive-cherry mix away from me.
I looked at him and said, “There are more over there, you know, and I have the key.”
We both grinned at each other as we grabbed onto each other. Each of us trying to get down first, we fell off the bar, and I landed on top of him. I heard Collin tell someone to come over as Daniel was trying to push me off of him. I managed to get over him and get a good lead away from him as he grabbed the bottom of my jeans and asked, “Where are you going?”
I started laughing hysterically saying, “You’re pulling my pants down.”
“Good!” he said, pulling me closer to him.
Trying to keep my pants on, I grabbed his shirt as he attempted to get by me. I heard it rip, and everyone began laughing at us. He continued pulling my pants down, and he teased, “Rip my shirt, will you.”
He made the hole in my jeans a lot bigger, and I kept laughing. Daniel finally managed to pull me back to him and as he swung around his elbow, getting me in the nose, and I instantly saw stars. His eyes got huge, and he started getting off of me to try and help me. I could tell my nose was bleeding, and he began pulling me up as I kept my hand over my nose. Collin was right behind me, holding me close to him and trying to help me not fall.
“It’s just a bloody nose. I’m all right,” I said, taking my hand away from my face as Collin pressed a towel to my nose.
Daniel looked at me and said, “You fight like a girl,” as he started walking away from me.
I tried to take off after him when Collin’s arm went around me, “Perhaps you’ve had enough messing around with my little brother today.”
There were so many people laughing at us at that point. I didn’t pay much attention to them. Daniel shoved some Kleenex at me as Collin told me to tilt my head back. I closed my eyes and tried to think about anything but him as he had a way of touching me that set my skin on fire. I moved away from him when his fingertips brushed the side of my boob.
I went to my office and lay down on the couch to try and get my bloody nose to stop. I looked up to see Collin sit in my chair, and Daniel settle on the couch by my feet.
“I’m fine, no big deal,” I sa
id, closing my eyes and feeling slightly nauseous again.
Collin laughed and asked, “Will you two ever act like adults?”
“No,” I stated matter-of–factly. Daniel agreed and said, “I think that’s a little out of our grasp.”
Opening my eyes, I looked toward the door hearing Mike walk in at that moment asking, “What happened?” He stood over me with a concerned look on his face and then glanced at Daniel and shook his head. Yeah, of course, he knew it involved Daniel.
I could smell food and asked, “What did you bring me?”
“Tacos and cinnamon chips. Like you requested in your ten texts begging me to bring you food,” Mike said, rolling his eyes as he set the bag down on my chest.
I removed the Kleenex and asked Daniel if the bleeding had stopped and he nodded yes. I slowly sat up, hoping it wouldn’t start again. I set the bag of food on the coffee table and reached in to pull out a taco. I started eating it as I was famished. They were excellent, good and greasy, my favorite. I was on my fourth taco when I realized they were all staring at me.
“What?” I asked with a mouthful.
Daniel asked, “Really, you okay?”
I asked, “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
Collin didn’t hesitate to sit down beside me and help himself to a taco, as well, before Daniel took the rest of them. Between the three of us, we managed to finish it all off, and we definitely could have had more. Collin loved the cinnamon chips and started questioning Mike about where he could get more. I grabbed Collin’s water and took a drink before he took it back and finished it. Apparently sharing food and drink with me didn’t bother him, but he wouldn’t touch anything from Daniel. I noticed he was kind of a germaphobe with most people, but not with me.
“What time is it?” I had asked before I jumped up. Crap, I forgot about rehearsal.
“Almost three. I bet you forgot you had practice today, didn’t you?” Mike said, not looking surprised.
I was late and needed to get home. I started looking for my stuff and gave up, deciding I would just come back and get it later.
Daniel asked, “Can I go with you?”
“I figured you would,” I said as Collin stood up and took my bag Mike was holding up for me. Seriously, Mike was the only reason I ever kept track of my stuff.
We started walking to the garage, and I stopped as a wave of nausea came over me again. I put my hand on the wall and closed my eyes, wondering if perhaps I had a touch of the flu or something. I felt a hand on my back as someone took my keys from me. I stood there for a minute taking deep breaths until it passed. This was starting to get old. I was never sick. I was usually the lucky person the flu would miss, but lately, sickness kept finding me.
Daniel held the door open to the garage when I realized it was Collin with his hand on my back. I started walking forward again, and his hand stayed there until we got to the car. Collin opened the passenger-side door for me as I climbed in. He walked to the driver’s side after taking the keys from Daniel, saying he knew how to get to the schoolhouse. Daniel didn’t argue with him and got in the back.
I was feeling better as we got closer to my house until I had to roll my window down for some fresh air. I thought to myself, yep, I have the flu and Mike’s wedding is in two days. Perfect timing.
Collin pulled into the garage and said, “Go ahead, baby, I’ll take your stuff upstairs for you.”
God, his sexy voice and him calling me “baby” made my body tingle with need. He was quickly becoming a drug I needed. That couldn’t be a good thing for either of us.
We only practiced for an hour because Kendrick didn’t feel right either, so I figured I did have the flu after all. I walked upstairs to the sounds of laughter. They were sitting at the kitchen island playing with all the stuff Daniel had sent me. I was instantly embarrassed, and I opened the refrigerator.
“There is nothing to eat in my house,” I said searching the full shelves of healthy food. I wanted grease and sugar. “Oooh, pancakes,” I moaned seeing the batter mix I was sure Rosa had left for the following morning.
Ten minutes later I had made two and started on another since Daniel was eating them, too. I grabbed the syrup from the fridge and set it on the counter before flipping another pancake. Getting the syrup and a spoon, I decided that sounded pretty good, too. I started eating the syrup on its own before I put the pancakes on my plate and smothered them in it, as well. I looked up to see Daniel and Collin staring at me with their mouths open.
“What?” I snapped, frustrated that everyone seemed to be making comments on my eating habits lately.
“No judgments,” Daniel said as Collin just held his hands up, obviously knowing when to keep his mouth shut.
I ate my pancakes, and they were the best pancakes I had ever made.
After I had eaten, we walked around the school, and I showed them how everything had turned out. We ended up in the gym admiring the scoreboard.
After a while, I asked, “You guys need a ride or something?”
Daniel laughed and said, “A ride? Where are we going?”
“Back to your bus or something, dumbass,” I said, not sure what their plans were.
He laughed and said, “No, the bus is already parked in the bus barn. We’re here for the wedding, remember?”
I didn’t realize they were staying. I assumed they would only be in for the wedding day and then leave.
Daniel said, “I will sleep in my room and Collin can sleep on the bus.”
Collin glanced at me, and I immediately felt bad. So I said, “No, you can sleep in the apartment if you want.”
Collin gave me a grin and said, “Thanks. I appreciate getting off the bus for a couple of days.”
I was already planning on locking my bedroom door as I nodded at him.
We had all been in bed for about three hours when I decided I was too thirsty to stay locked in my room. I passed by Daniel’s room, and I could hear him snoring loudly. I figured he was tired and needed a good night’s sleep. I turned on the small light over the sink so I wouldn’t wake him up.
I grabbed a glass when I heard someone ask, “What are you doing?”
I dropped the glass, and it shattered all over the floor around me. I closed my eyes, praying I hadn’t woken Daniel up. After a few seconds, I heard him start snoring again.
“You scared me,” I whispered, taking in the sight of Collin in nothing but loose shorts.
“Don’t move. Where’s your broom?” he asked, pointing at all the broken glass on the floor.
As I stood there, barefoot in my underwear and a T-shirt, I pointed to the pantry. He grabbed the broom and dustpan and started sweeping around me. After throwing the collection of glass in the trash, he said, “I think I got it all.”
Stepping away from the sink, I painfully realized that he hadn’t gotten all of it after all. “Ouch,” I winced.
I knew I had a piece of glass in my foot. It burned as Collin came around the island and grabbed me. He helped me hop up on the counter and went and got the broom again. I stared at his bare chest as he cleaned up the rest of the glass.
When he was done, he asked, “Can I see your foot?”
Words failed me as he pulled my foot up so he could see the sole. His touch rendered me too stupid to think when he pulled out a little sliver of glass, Goddamn, it hurt. He washed his hands and got a wet paper towel to clean up my foot. Neither one of us said anything when my dad’s question popped into my head: “Why can’t you two stay away from each other?” Truth be told, I didn’t want to stay away from him.
Collin washed his hands again and leaned against the sink. “Danni, I am sorry for everything I did to you when you were in Seattle,” he whispered.
I thought for a moment before saying quietly, “It wasn’t entirely your fault. I was a willing participant.”
He grinned and said, “Yes, you definitely were.”
I slid off the counter and walked over to the refrigerator, grabbing a
bottle of water. Collin pulled me to him, and I couldn’t stop myself, or him. He leaned down and gently kissed me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him back when I felt his hands inside of my shirt as he backed me up against the island. The kissing became frantic and intense as he picked me up and sat me up on the island.
I wrapped my legs around him as he kissed my neck and I whispered in his ear, “Why can’t I stay away from you?”
“I can’t stay away from you, either,” he said in between kisses along my jaw and neck.
We started kissing again as he lifted me up and started walking down the hall with me wrapped around him. We made it to my room while trying to be quiet as he shut the door with his foot before pushing me up against it. I locked it, and he moved us to my bed, falling on top of me.
He was kissing me just as passionately as he had last time and I let out a groan, “Why are we doing this?”
“I don’t know, but I really want you,” he mumbled in between all the kissing and touching as we fell on the bed.
He pulled off my shirt as I pushed down his shorts and I watched him kick them off. He sat up and pulled off my underwear before he came back to my mouth and my neck. I let out a moan, and he whispered, “We have to be quiet. Daniel is across the hall.”
He rolled me over, so I was on top of him as I began kissing his chest and neck. He moaned as his hands ran down my back. I whispered in his ear, “What happened to being quiet?”
He rolled me back over and said, “It’s impossible with you.”
We made love on my bed, the couch, and on the floor in front of the fire before we made our way back to the bed.
Trying to catch my breath, I quietly asked, “Are you leaving?”
“Only if you want me to leave,” he said as he kissed me again and put his arms around me. I was getting exactly what I wanted. Collin wrapped around me all night. I felt utterly safe and relaxed. For the first time since the assault, I felt hope.
