Finding Abigail

by Christina Smith

  When I finished my shower and toweled off, I threw on some underwear and a white tank top and went to bed. I would figure everything out another day.

  The annoying sound of knocking pulled me out of my well-deserved sleep. Stumbling out of bed, I ran to the door; my only thought was to make the banging stop. “What!” I growled, yanking the door open, and cringed with pain. My hand was red and swollen.

  My new neighbor, who looked wide awake and fresh at this ungodly hour, stood on the pavement, leaning against the doorjamb.

  He smiled. “Well, aren’t you all sunshine and rainbows in the morning,” he observed, pushing his way into the kitchen. He was carrying what looked like coffee, doughnuts, and a newspaper. Placing them on the counter, he turned around, flashing an annoyingly arrogant grin. Even with my mind still foggy with sleep, I could smell the delicious scent of the coffee. It almost made me drool.

  “Nice hair,” he remarked, his gaze slowly traveling down. I suddenly remembered what I was wearing. “Do you always answer the door in your underwear?” His brows lifted, his eyes sparkling with laughter—again.

  “Oh god,” I murmured, trying to cover myself, yanking at the hem of my tank, which I now worried was see-through. “I was sleeping, what are you doing here so early?”

  “It’s nine, that’s not early around here. And if you don’t go put something on, I’m going to strip down to my underwear.” His eyebrows wiggled. “I’m feeling really overdressed.”

  Feeling frightened and embarrassed, I rushed to the bedroom to fetch a hoodie and a pair of cotton shorts. I needed to get him out of the cottage. He made me jumpy. I was heading back out when I noticed my hair in the gilded mirror above the bed. It was somehow stuck up on one side, leaving part of my scalp showing. The other was matted to the side of my head. It looked like I was wearing a bad toupee. I brushed it quickly, throwing it into a ponytail, and then headed back out to see why he was invading my morning.

  “What do you want?” I growled again, returning to the kitchen. I stood with my hands on my hips, hoping for a look of impatience instead of what I really felt—fear. The only man I had been alone with for months was Nick. Besides the uneasiness I felt, I was still embarrassed of the way we had met, and now I had the incident in my underwear and bad hair to add to my humiliation.

  He looked comfortable, sitting at the table by the window, reading the paper and drinking his coffee. He glanced up and smiled. “That’s not very neighborly of you. I just came over to offer you coffee and doughnuts and this is the gratitude I get?” His face was relaxed, a cocky smile lighting up his eyes. I was sure he was joking except I couldn’t help but flinch at his words. If Nick had said them, I’d end up with bruises. I took the extra coffee and swallowed a big sip, letting the caffeine do its job, hoping to push away my dark thoughts. I had to stop comparing this guy to Nick. All men were not like him. I knew that. Jason was one of my best friends and he would never hurt anyone.

  Feeling more awake after the shot of caffeine, I sat down across from him, taking a doughnut out of the box. “Okay then. What can I do for you on this lovely morning?” I asked, sweetness dripping from the sarcasm. I forced myself to relax. Sylvia wouldn’t have sent me here if her grandson wasn’t safe.

  “I wanted to tell you that I talked to my grandmother last night.”

  Oh shit. I couldn’t help but gulp, feeling my eyes go wide. The tiny spark of fear turned to apprehension. “You called her at home?” I moved my hands to my lap to hide the tremors.

  “No, she was at my mom’s,” he explained, folding the paper closed and laying it onto the table.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. I was afraid she went home early. It would be best for everyone if she kept a safe distance from Nick.

  “Why do you sound worried that she’d be at home?”

  I stuffed a huge bite of fritter in my mouth; my hand was no longer shaking. “I’m not worried,” I mumbled with my mouth full. “What did your grandmother say?” I asked after I swallowed.

  “She told me to be nice to you and protect you. When I asked her why, she clammed up and handed the phone to my mother, who didn’t know anything.” He stared at me waiting for me to react. When I didn’t, he added, “Why do you need protection?”

  “I don’t. You know Sylvia, she’s a worrier.” His constant questioning was making me anxious. How was I supposed get him to stop pestering me? The incessant fear knotted in my chest and took hold.

  He drummed his finger on the table impatiently. “I’ve never known her to be secretive or protective before. But you’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  “There’s nothing to tell.”

  “Really? Well then, why, when I asked my grandmother your name, she told me to ask you? Does she not know it?”

  She probably wasn’t sure if I would change it or not. Of course I was very relieved, since I had. Ignoring the question about Sylvia, I answered him. “It’s Anna Smith. What’s yours?”

  “Noah Bradley.”

  I stood up and began to busy myself, empting the dishwasher I had turned on last night. “So tell me about yourself. What do you do for a living?”

  “You’re avoiding the subject.” I chose not to answer as I placed the silverware into the drawer. “Fine, I’ll play along, but you should know I’ll find out what’s going on. Anyway, to answer your question, I’m a carpenter.”

  His threat to figure me out hung in the air and I resisted the urge to gulp. The constant feeling of fear hummed inside me. With the thought of keeping the subject away from my secret, I said, “Really? I was thinking of getting some shelves made for my work.”

  Leaning back in the chair with his cup in his hand, he asked, “What do you do?”

  I moved back over to the table and sat down. “I’m a writer.”

  “That’s cool.”

  I smiled and nodded, acknowledging his comment. Then I decided it was time for him to go. His close proximity was giving me the jitters. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Noah, even though you woke me up so early.”

  He raised an eyebrow over the cup he was taking a drink out of. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

  “No.” My voice shook, and I couldn’t look him in the eye.

  His smile disappeared, his eyes flashed with a look of concern. “Okay.” He stood up, gathered his paper, and turned around. “If you need anything, and I mean anything, I’m right next door.” His face turned to a look I could only describe as compassion. It was almost like he knew my secret and felt sorry for me. But that couldn’t be, he admitted that he wanted to find it out.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Hermit

  If I thought my neighbor would take the hint and leave me alone, I was sorely mistaken. He stopped by the next day to see if I needed anything at the hardware store. When I mentioned the lawn chair, he took out the patio furniture he had put away for the winter. He set it all up for me and moved the barbeque to the back of the cottage onto the patio. Then with a smile he was on his way.

  The next day, he stopped by just before dinner with a dish of ham and scalloped potatoes. He informed me he liked to cook but since there was only him, he had lots. Again, he didn’t stay.

  The third day he stopped by to see if I wanted to go with him to his friend’s house so I could meet some people. When I declined, he just said maybe next time and closed the door behind him.

  I really didn’t understand this man. When I first met him, he seemed cocky, full of himself and a little pushy. But as each day went by he was always stopping by to make sure I was okay and ask if I needed anything. It couldn’t just be that he was in charge of the cottages. I was beginning to think he was watching over me, because of Sylvia. The fear that had appeared on our first two visits never came out because he didn’t stay long enough for the emotion to rear its ugly head. As the days turned into weeks, I actually started to look forward to his quick visit. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone and someone was there when I needed them.

/>   A month after I arrived in Shimmer Lake I was starting to go stir crazy. The only time I went out was to the grocery store, and I never made eye contact with the locals, hoping to avoid a conversation. I was craving human contact and I needed to look at something other than the inside of the cottage.

  It was a beautiful may day. The wet weather had given us a bit of a reprieve so I decided to go for a walk. I packed a sandwich and an apple and two bottles of water. There was woodland across the road from the cottage and I had noticed trails as I had driven by.

  As I exited my cottage, I stopped short. Noah was cleaning out his Jeep with the doors wide open and Coldplay pumping out of the speakers. The smell of cleaner wafted from his car. He glanced up and smiled. “Where are you off to?” he asked casually as he buffed the dash of his car.

  Apprehension washed over me. “Why?”

  “No reason, just curious.” He turned away, but I could have sworn I saw a flash of hurt wash over his face. He had been nothing but kind to me since I arrived, and after four weeks, I still was short with him. I couldn’t help it. Every time I looked at him, I saw a version of Nick. He had ruined me, plain and simple and I was starting to think that I would never be able to look at another man without fearing for my life.

  Despite my turmoil, I was also feeling guilty, and I answered him. “I thought I’d take a walk through the trails I saw across the road.” I gestured with my hand in the direction I was headed, even though he wasn’t facing me.

  He turned back around, the causal smile returning to his face. “Good idea. The trails are nice this time of year.” He tossed the cloth over his shoulder. “Have fun.” He began wiping the chrome on the door.

  I hesitated, waiting for him to say something else, but he didn’t. I walked away, feeling silly for thinking this man would harm me. Sylvia wouldn’t have sent me here otherwise.

  Noah was right; the trails were beautiful this time of year. The leaves were out and flowers were starting to bud. The birds were chirping up a storm. I walked through a worn path feeling myself relax. I hadn’t felt like this since the night Noah arrived. I had intended to sit out each night to enjoy the sights and sounds of the lake. But he made me nervous and I was afraid if I ventured out too much, I would run into him. I saw him often sitting on his deck, beer in hand, watching the boaters on the water. A couple of times he veered out himself with a fishing rod poking out of his red flat-bottom boat.

  A bird squawked above me, pulling me out of my thoughts. Feeling thirsty I stopped to sit down in a grove of lilacs. I leaned back and let the sun soak my face and breathed in the scent of fresh new leaves and the cool, crisp air. Taking a sip of my water, I wished I had brought my laptop along. It was the perfect environment to write about talking chipmunks and mice.

  I stayed about an hour contemplating life without my family and wondering if I was to become a hermit, or if I should start venturing out. The lack of human contact was making me feel lonelier than living with a monster. Nick hadn’t found me yet, so I should take advantage of my freedom and actually start to live it. As I headed back to the cottage I vowed to make more of an effort. When I went to the grocery store I would make eye contact, maybe even make a friend. The idea of having someone to talk to brought a smile to my face.

  When I approached the cottage I saw Noah lying back on a lawn chair, with something cooking on his barbeque. He glanced my way when I opened the door, and a smile lit up his face. He always seemed happy to see me, no matter how coldly I treated him. “How was the walk?” he called out.

  “You were right, it was beautiful.”

  He nodded. “Can I interest you in a beer and burger?” he asked, more out of habit than anything else. He invited me almost weekly. I always declined and he always brought me over a plate.

  My standard denial was on the tip of my tongue but the vow I made popped in my head. “Sure,” I replied before I could over-analyze it.

  His eyes widened with shock. “Great, come on over.”

  I laid my bag against my door and headed over, my heart racing with nerves. I just had to ignore it if I was going to try to have a life. When I stepped up onto his deck, the tantalizing smell of the barbeque assaulted my senses, making me glad for throwing caution to the wind. Since I had been hiding out for the last few weeks, I was craving barbequed food. I had a taste of it when I first arrived, and then I was cut off when I started to avoid Noah. Noah handed me a beer and gestured for me to take a seat in the empty chair.

  I complied and took a sip of the beer. It was really cold, and it tasted good on this warm day.

  Noah checked the burgers, and then sat down, his usual smile planted on his lips. “How are you getting along in the cottage? No problems, I hope.”

  He seemed nervous, which for some reason put me at ease, and I couldn’t help but smile. “No, everything’s great. I love the place. I couldn’t have asked for a better sanctuary.”

  He nodded and jumped up to get plates out of the cottage. He came back with a caesar salad to accompany the burgers. I took another drink of beer, feeling more relaxed with each sip. During dinner Noah kept telling me jokes, as though he knew I was a bit uneasy and wanted to make me comfortable. I really appreciated it; I hadn’t laughed in a while and I did tonight. The burger and salad were delicious, but I didn’t stay long. Yes, I wanted to branch out, but it was going to take time. I said good night and thanked him. As I took a few steps toward the cottage, he called out to me. “You’re not afraid of me anymore, are you?”

  I froze, uneasiness lurking inside me. “Why do you think I was afraid of you?”

  “I could see it in your eyes, on our first two meetings. I backed off because I hated to see it. You need to know I would never hurt you. You are safe here.” His tone of voice was so serious, his eyes full of emotion.

  I gulped the lump that had formed in my throat, fighting tears. My trust in men had taken a dive the last year, but for some reason I knew I could thrust this man. I had no words, so I simply nodded and turned away.

  “Hey!” he called. When I spun back around he continued, “I’m going to the Memorial Day picnic tomorrow. Do you want to come?”

  Again, my first response was no, but my vow played through my mind, and I realized I had felt relaxed all through dinner. I needed—no, craved—human contact and this was a chance to get it. “Sure, sounds good.”

  He grinned. “Okay. Be ready at four.”

  I nodded and turned back around, heading to the cottage. A small smile played at my lips, and it felt good. I hadn’t had much to smile about lately.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Fireworks

  At four o’clock the next day I stood outside by my car waiting. The idea of spending an afternoon with not only Noah, but basically the whole town, was a bad idea—I knew that. But I was tired of my own company and craved human contact. I had been alone, without even talking on the phone, for a month. When I first arrived, I wanted the quiet solace; now I couldn’t stand it.

  So here I was, freshly showered, hair pulled back in a barrette, and wearing a yellow sundress. It was my first outing in Shimmer Lake and I felt the need to look good.

  I wasn’t the only one trying to make a good impression. Noah came out of his house carrying a small cooler strapped over his shoulder and a blanket tucked under an arm. He was wearing a navy-blue polo shirt and khaki shorts. His hair looked damp from his shower and was brushed haphazardly. His shirt enhanced the color of his vivid blue eyes. When he walked toward me I caught a whiff of his cologne. He smiled as he opened his car door, showing dimples. “Are you coming or not?” He sat in the driver’s seat, leaning toward the passenger side window.

  I opened the door and got in. The inside of his Jeep was a tad messy, with a jacket and a pair of sweats sprawled out in the back seat. There was an empty coffee cup in the cup holder and a candy bar wrapper balled up in the console. The scent of coffee still lingered. The radio was tuned to a classic rock station, and I couldn’t help think of Nic
k. Did Noah’s liking the same music as my ex make him a bad person? I doubted it; how could anyone who was a relative of Silvia be anything but good? What did it matter what type of person he was? This was a one-time deal. I would go with him, to get the craved socializing out of my system, and then I’d go back to the cottage for a while. I’d come out every few weeks when the craving arose again. I was okay with that; I had my novel’s characters to keep me company. It had worked for years, why wasn’t it good enough now?

  He pulled into the parking lot outside the park, waking me from my thoughts. We hadn’t said a word as he drove. I was busy thinking, and he appeared comfortable with the silence.

  The park was full of families sitting on blankets, and children running around playing in the park and running into the water at the beach. It looked like the whole town had come out to celebrate. I was having second thoughts when Noah opened his door. I reached across the car and grabbed his arm to stop him from getting out. “You know what?” I gasped, feeling panic building inside. For a year, I hid from the world to hide what was happening to me, and this many people in one place was slightly intimidating. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I don’t know anyone—I don’t belong. I should go.” My words were rushed together, expressing the panic I was feeling.

  He turned to face me, his eyes showing a hint of concern. “Whoa! Calm down.” He placed his hand on my leg; his hand was warm and gentle. I flinched away and he pretended not to notice.

  “It’s okay.” His words were soft, soothing. “It’s just a picnic. How are you going to meet anyone if you stay in the cottage? Don’t worry, people around here are friendly.” He got out, walked around the car, and opened my door. “You’re not going to punch anyone, are you?” he asked with a smile, reminding me of the first night we met. He closed the door behind me after I reluctantly climbed out.