Her Redeeming Love

by Ivy James

  “Come here.”

  Eager to feel his hands on her she stepped closer, but now that he was seated, the lounge didn’t look big enough to hold them both. Unless she was on top, which would leave her fully exposed, vulnerable—and in control.

  Releasing her lip, she smiled as she swung one leg over both his and let Joe guide her into a sitting position on him, just…there. She settled herself, pleased by the groan that escaped him on contact.

  “I’m sorry, Ashley.”

  She braced her hand on his chest and leaned toward him. “For what?” she murmured, her mouth teasing his while she rocked against him.

  “Ash—stop.” His hands gripped her hips and held her still, his breathing ragged. “It’s been too long. This is too fast. I’m not going to—aww, this is so embarrassing,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

  She kissed his lightly stubbled jaw and laughed, unable to help herself. Joe was in a bad way and needed release. And more than anything she wanted to give it to him. To be the one to help him since he obviously hadn’t gone to someone in town like some men would have.

  It was another reason she loved him.

  Joe’s hands slid up her waist, over her breasts. Distracting her from her thoughts. She watched his face, saw how much she turned him on. His eyes glittered as he raised his head and took her breast into his mouth. He suckled gently first, then firmly, stroking her with his tongue and mimicking the act by pressing her hips against him. She arched her back and moaned.

  Then it was her turn. She slipped her hands between them, found him and encircled the hard, hot length.

  His breath hissed. “No.”

  She ignored him, pressed her body against the lower length of him. Wanting him, her fingers and hand teased. Then Joe came with a groan full of self-recrimination and pleasure.

  * * *

  WHEN JOE CAME TO HIS SENSES Ashley still straddled his lap and watched him closely, his T-shirt in her hands. A second later, she tossed it aside and smiled a sexy little smile as though she’d conquered the world. All he knew was that she’d certainly conquered him.

  He pulled her down to his chest and cradled her against him, his hands moving down her back and over her nicely rounded behind to squeeze. “You don’t listen very well.”

  His hands smoothed back up her body to her hair where he found the clasp holding it fastened. He released it so he could spear his fingers into the long, thick mass.

  Ashley crossed her arms on top of his chest and rested her chin on the top. “You didn’t like it?”

  Joe chuckled and gently pulled her forward for a kiss. “Liking it obviously wasn’t the problem, but I didn’t do much for you.”

  She fingered the hair on his chest. “You needed it and I wanted to. I actually wanted to do more but…”

  Her words trailed off and it didn’t take long for him to catch on to what she was discreetly asking. She was afraid. And she had every right to be because this was a conversation they should’ve had before letting things go so far.

  He kissed her again. “I’m safe, Ashley. There’s a program. Some voluntary government thing. Before I was released I was given free testing.”

  She looked at him, her solemn gaze asking for his understanding.

  “I should’ve said something sooner. And don’t feel bad or embarrassed. I’m the one embarrassed that we even have to talk about it, but between the fights and the shiv, I wanted to know. And you had every reason to be concerned.”

  Some of the tension left her body. “There’s no good way of bringing this into a conversation is there?” she murmured, her eyes lowering. “I didn’t even think of it until…then and so…”

  She’d pleasured him a different way. “I understand.”

  “With Mac’s military background and my pregnancy, the stress of the funeral—they ran all kinds of tests just to be safe. They were fine,” she said in a rush, as though she needed to reassure him.

  “So we’re both fine,” he murmured, smiling gently. “Except one of us got the raw end of the deal,” he teased as he tugged her hips into his. “Want to see how long it takes me to—”

  Ashley’s mouth covered his and she kissed him deep, her tongue stroking into his mouth, her breathing picking right back up to a pace that said she might not have found pleasure before, but she was more than ready to try again. He squeezed her hip, slid his hand to her inner thigh.

  Max’s whimper suddenly filled the air.

  “Mmm, noooo. Oh, no.” Ashley’s shoulders shook. “I’m sorry.”

  Joe smoothed her hair away from her face before she shoved herself up, and tried to ignore the way she looked sitting on top of him now that he wasn’t so trigger-happy.

  “He’s hungry,” she said, her expression drawing a smile from him because it was obvious she was hungry, too.

  She got to her feet and whirled around, searching the darkness for her black dress. Max’s whimpers turned into cries that rose in volume with every breath.

  “Here.” Joe found her dress and handed it to her. Ashley pulled it on, leaving the side unzipped. She hurried to the door of the shed before pausing.

  “Joe—”

  “Go on. I’m right behind you,” he said, picking up his jeans.

  She flashed him a smile and left, scurrying up the hill away from the pond toward the house. Joe dressed, aware the air inside the shed was scented with the smell of sex and arousal and need. He grabbed his T-shirt from the floor and then stretched across the lounge chair to pick up the monitor when Ashley’s voice came over the airwaves.

  Drawn, knowing he shouldn’t, he sat down on the lounge and waited for Max’s story to begin.

  * * *

  “OH, MAX,” ASHLEY’S VOICE sounded tinny and far away. “Somehow we’re going to have to work on your timing.”

  Joe heard the rocking chair creak.

  “Joe’s a good guy, you know that? Yes, he is. But I don’t want you to worry, Max. You’ll always be my little man.”

  Max babbled in response and Joe smiled down at the monitor.

  “But we have to help him. Because as much as I love Joe, you come first and if Joe can’t even bring himself to touch you because of losing his little girl—”

  Joe couldn’t breathe. She loved him? She loved him? But on the heels of that amazing realization came pain.

  She knew.

  He couldn’t hear the rest of her words due to the rush of blood past his ears. He shook his head, noticed her bra lying on the floor next to his foot and reached down to grab it. He shoved the ends into his pocket and ignored the lacy cups that brought images to mind he couldn’t be thinking about at the moment.

  “Joe loved his baby, Max. He may have been young, but when he looks at you, I see the pain. He’s hurting. But even though he’s hurting, and even though the sight of you probably brings back a lot of memories of his baby girl, he’s still here helping us. That says something, Max, don’t you think? I do. I think it means a lot. I think it means he’s one of the good guys.”

  Joe rubbed his eye with his palm. Things were such a mess and without a doubt, he knew Wilson was involved. The old man had obviously told Ashley bits and pieces, but not the whole truth. And while Ashley understood his loss and pain, that would change once she discovered the so-called truth.

  She’d never understand. Would never believe he’d kept the truth from her in the hopes she’d grow to see him as he is, rather than what people believe him to be.

  She thought he’d hired on with honorable intentions, when the reality was she was the only one willing to hire him. Period.

  And once she found out about Josie’s death, all the love in the world wouldn’t matter because she’d never look at him the same again.

  Still, he had to tell her. Somehow. Before someone else did.

  He owed her that.

  Joe leaned back against the lounge chair, his thumb finding the switch on the side of the monitor to turn it off. He didn’t have the right to listen in, to enjoy t
he mother-son bonding moment instead of working up the courage to tell her the truth.

  He tried to picture the scene. She’d automatically smile at him as he entered the room, sweet and seductive after what had just happened, then hurt and horror would dawn on her face.

  She’d hate him.

  Joe shoved himself to his feet and he paced to the end of the small shack, banged his fist against a wood beam.

  God above, he needed help, guidance. He didn’t want to hurt her, and he had no right to let her think he was something he wasn’t. No right to make love to her.

  He glared at the house, the dull light trickling out of Max’s bedroom window.

  Over the past few weeks he’d taken care of the worst of the house repairs. The roof, the ceilings. Now he quickly made a mental list of the projects he knew Ashley couldn’t handle on her own.

  He’d work hard. Get those biggest projects done and come clean knowing when she kicked him out she could handle the rest of the restoration by herself. It was the only thing he could do.

  The right thing to do for the woman he could love but not have.

  * * *

  THE FOLLOWING MORNING Joe borrowed Wilson’s truck again and made a run for supplies. He planned on stopping by Ridgewood on his way home, and still get an early start on the wheelchair ramp into Ashley’s house. Once that was done, the kitchen would be next. Then he’d find a place for his pop and him to live, come clean with Ashley and leave because he knew she’d want him gone.

  He entered Home Depot, his mood sour, but received a only a few curious glances as he made his way to the aisle he needed.

  “Hey—Joe?”

  Joe spun around. A man stood a couple feet away with thick, decking spindles in both hands.

  Joe braced himself for whatever was about to happen. “Yeah?” The man was around his age, maybe a little older, with a receding hairline and the thick build of a one-time athlete.

  “You’re Joe Brody, right?”

  He nodded and backed up. “I don’t want any trouble, I just came for supplies.”

  The guy looked down at his hands and back at him. “Aww, man, you must really be getting a hard time if you think you’ll be jumped in a store.” He shoved one of the spindles under the other arm and held out his free hand. “I’m Nathan Boyle. I wanted to thank you, that’s all.”

  Come again? Joe searched his brain for recognition. “For what?”

  “Helping out my granddad.” His face took on a ruddy hue and he dropped his hand to his side. “I’ve been so busy I hadn’t made it over to check his wheelchair and didn’t know it had quit on him. Mrs. H. said you got it going again.”

  Surprised, Joe stared at him, the moment surreal.

  “My grandad sure appreciated it. That’s his only way of getting around, you know? Without someone pushing him.” The guy tossed the spindles back onto a nearby shelf and took a couple steps closer to him, holding out his hand again. “Anyway, I wanted to say thanks. I appreciate what you did for him.” His expression turned sheepish. “Hopefully you won’t have to do it again, but I know who to call if I can’t get it working, right?”

  Joe hesitated momentarily before reaching out and shaking the man’s hand. “No problem.”

  “So, you working anywhere?”

  Joe nodded. “Yeah. Handyman stuff.”

  “Good. But if you ever need work, let me know. I’ve got my own construction business and I can always use help. I’ll give you a shot if you need it.”

  Humbled, grateful, Joe nodded before turning away to continue on down the aisle.

  Chapter 13

  ASHLEY FROWNED as she left the house and carried Max on her hip toward the garage. Joe was avoiding her. Last night, although wonderful, could have been better. After she’d put Max down for the second time, she’d quickly showered and left her room with the intention of going to Joe. Instead she’d found the portable receiver hanging on the bedroom doorknob.

  She’d stood there, mortified when she remembered what she’d said to Max about loving Joe. Still, somehow, she’d bolstered her courage and padded to his bedroom, hoping to talk and explain her confusing emotions.

  Joe wasn’t there.

  Nor did he come to her room during the night because she’d spent the remaining hours staring up at the ceiling and wondering where he’d gone. Knowing exactly what she’d done—said—wrong.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid. Clearly he wasn’t ready for that kind of declaration. What were the rules of dating? Never give up the L word too soon? Talk about the quickest way to drive a guy off.

  Even though he seemed to be feeling the same way?

  She walked around to the carport where she’d parked the truck, only to find it gone.

  “He went to get some supplies,” Wilson called from the willow trees beyond.

  She hadn’t seen him through the drooping foliage, but now she headed in his direction and paused once she neared the lawn chair where he sat, the stray dog lying at his feet. She ignored the dog, not wanting to get attached to something that would just leave whenever it wanted.

  “Hey, Max. How are the teeth?”

  “Not so bad today,” she offered, distracted. “Joe’s not listed on the account I set up. How can he buy supplies?”

  Wilson frowned up at her, his bushy brows low to combat the sun dappling the shade above her head. “Well, now, ’cause I loaned him cash. He said he’d bring the receipt and you could pay me back. We thought it’d be easier since you weren’t up yet.”

  “You gave him cash?”

  She heard the sound of a motor and the crunch of gravel as a car drove up to the house, but when no one continued on around to the back of the house, as Joe would have had it been him, she frowned.

  “I’d better go see who it is. Be right back.” She hurried to the house, through the kitchen and down the hall, smiling when Max laughed at the bumpy ride on her hip. She opened the front door in time to see two men exit a police car. Neither were smiling.

  When they neared the steps, she asked, “Can I—can I help you?”

  The older of the two climbed the steps, and Ashley took note of his badge and name tag. Why was the chief of police on her doorstep?

  “Are you Ashley Cade?”

  “Yes.”

  “And this is your home?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “Does Joe Brody live here?”

  Her stomach knotted so hard she felt ill. “Yes, but he isn’t home at the moment. Is something wrong?”

  The chief and his officer exchanged an intense look.

  “Ma’am, is the child yours?”

  Her spine snapped straight and the air rushed out of her lungs. “Yes, he’s mine. Why do you ask?”

  The chief swore softly and stared at the windows lining the porch, his gaze moving from spot to spot as though looking to see if Joe was behind one of them.

  The deputy handed an envelope to the chief and then tipped his hat before he stepped off the porch and walked back to the patrol car, obviously looking for any sign of Joe.

  “No offense, ma’am. I just didn’t know if you were the child’s mother or simply babysitting him.”

  “What does that have to do with Joe?” she asked tersely.

  The man held up the envelope, his expression darkening even more. “A restraining order’s been issued for him.”

  “By who?”

  The man hesitated. “By me. On behalf of my daughter.”

  She stared, uncomprehending. “Your daughter.” All sorts of thoughts came to mind—bad thoughts, horrifying thoughts. “I don’t understand. What’s he done? What is going on?” Her voice revealed her growing upset.

  The man stared at her a long moment as though searching for something, but when he didn’t find it, he reached behind him to pull out his wallet. He flipped through a couple pictures before holding one up for her to see.

  Ashley frowned. “She’s a beautiful baby.” The infant was dressed in a pink dress and ruffled bloomers, the bo
w atop her head attached to a surprisingly thick thatch of dark hair.

  “She was.”

  Her voice shook when she weakly murmured, “Was?”

  Chief York turned the picture around and stared at it himself, and when he raised his gaze back to her, he looked sad, tormented. And angry.

  Very, very angry.

  “The man you have living here as your handyman—under the same roof as your son,” he continued, glancing at Max briefly, “was convicted of murdering her. Joe Brody killed my granddaughter. If I were you, I’d pack his bag and have it waiting on him when he gets back. If not, I might have to make a phone call or two about how you’re not looking out for your son’s best interests.” He nodded at Max. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep your son safe.”

  * * *

  AS JOE DROVE UP to the house he looked for Ashley, but saw no signs of her outside. He parked the truck close to the back porch to unload and grabbed the receipt lying on the bench seat next to him.

  That’s when he heard the arguing.

  Ashley’s voice was raised, Wilson’s much calmer and more resigned.

  Joe jogged for the porch steps and entered the kitchen to notice two things: the official document from the Taylorsville Police Department on the table with his name on it; and Ashley’s pale angry face.

  She stared at him, unblinking, shaking her head back and forth as she held up her hand. A long moment passed before she gathered herself enough to speak.

  “I can’t believe it. You’re finally here and now that you are, I don’t even know what to say to you!”

  Joe stepped toward her. “What happened? Where’s Max? You don’t want to upset him.”

  Her face softened even as her eyes blazed. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare pretend you care about my son because if you did, you wouldn’t be here in the first place!”

  He took another step toward her only to stop when she held her hand up again.

  “Stay away from me.”

  Give me a walk in the moonlight. He wanted to go back in time, freeze it after she’d said those words and then somehow, someway, explain.